Allowing healthy relationships into Your Life

July 4, 2008

Happy 4th All!

I hope that everyone has a safe and happy 4th of July! Holidays can

be challenging. I hope that everyone spends time with positive

friends/family.

I am posing a question to the group for feedback.

I have recently reconnected with a friend who I briefly dated in high

school. We have seen each other throughout the years and hung out

from time to time never completly losing touch because of various

connections with family members. To make a long story short we are

both 35 years old now, and I have been really enjoying spending time

with him in person and on the phone. He's a really great sweet giving

type of guy, and I rejected him in high school because he WAS NICE,

opting to nurture emotionally abusive relationships. At any rate, we

went on a date last Saturday and I enjoyed myself SO much. SO MUCH to

the point that I shut down emotionally(which ironically doesn't

happen with guys that aren't good for me)and when I got out of his

car I didn't hug him kiss him on the cheek or anything. I text

messaged him when I got home and told him how much of a good time I

had, and how I had prayed that he would be back in my life (which is

the truth) because I really missed our friendship. He told me " You

had me at hello " referring to Zellweger's famous quote from

Jerry Maguire. We spoke in length the other day and I explained to

him that I sometimes come off as cold and aloof, although that's not

my intention. He told me that he is often perceived the same way. He

told me to just be myself. It's such a level of comfort with him

because we have a FABULOUS friendship that has not been affected by

time lost, and we want many of the same things in a relationship and

in life. I feel SO uncomfortable because he wants to spend time with

me and I can be myself and there's no drama involved, although this

is what I say that I want. I would appreciate feedback on how to not

be scared with healthy relationships and avoid sabatoging them, tips

on how to relax and turn off the " this is too good to be true " inner

voice.

All Feedback is MUCH appreciated

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