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As I said a couple of days ago, I'm feeling much much better now that I've

increased my risperdal dose a bit. I don't feel like I'm about to lose it (that

incredible out of control sensitivity to stress), but instead I'm very depressed

(it took about a day and a half to hit me). Is this just a result of straining

my body? I still feel like doing nothing and going nowhere, though there is no

longer the painful stress involved and I can do my work without freaking.

The depression includes wishing death. I'm NOT actively suicidal....don't

worry. But thinking about death is very unpleasant and it's so self absorbed and

then I get judgemental about how I'm feeling which of course doesn't help

anything and really just keeps things going around in circles.

Any thougths?

>>

** The answer to this this depends on you and your tendencies. Have you

ever seen suicide as an option before? If so, then it would not be surprising

that you consider it now. But if it has not been a consideration before, it

means that you are still in too much withdrawal.

To elaborate just slightly, the difference between someone who considers

suicide an option and has considered it at other times and a person who rarely

considers it is that the latter has it cross their minds but they deliberately

and forcefully reject it as not being an option. It's not that the issue never

came up.

You do this by considering the impact it will have on people in your life. If

you say it won't negatively affect anyone, you need to ask others how they would

feel becauae you are so angry at them that you would misrepresent them this way

even to yourself. --C

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