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Why did I?

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....last evening, on the way home from group therapy, the Hyundai decided to

become so hot it wouldn't run. In the left lane of a busy intersection. After

a few minutes of " I am NOT going to panic " , it decided to start again, and it

ran for about another half mile before a red light forced me to stop, and I

couldn't keep it running -- this time, there was part of the red involved...

....I pushed it about 50 feet until it was almost off the street, someone

stopped and helped me finish pushing it clear. That's the " why did I " -- I

had to push the car out of traffic? What was I, crazy?! (I used to be able

to, though! Really! And less than three years ago.) Today I can't lift my

arms, my hands are huge and forget making a fist today...and exactly what is

this in my groin that's getting trapped in my pelvis?!? Brings me to tears,

particularly trying to walk. Not that sitting or standing still's any better;

wait comfortably for a minute or two, and something will collapse in my rib

cage, neck, shoulder...And I know that tomorrow's going to be worst, but

already I'm on the vicodin, trying to assist the methadone, still this is all

too much now. And tomorrow's gonna...never mind. Too much.

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