Re: Going Away Parties

October 15, 2007

I've never quite comprehended why we are so grief stricken over

death....yes we've had a loss, but particularly those who believe,

believe better lies ahead for them. I get a bit distraught when its a

tragic death of a young person in an accident or a parent with young

childre. However, I've been in the room twice when someone died, my

mother and my ex father in law. In both cases I felt good for them.

My mother had experienced strokes and had severe brain damage and

living in her state would have been no life. I was thankful that she

was able to live fine up until that final trip to the hospital. My ex

father in law was 83. He was doing fine the night before and went out

to dinner with his wife. He was alert but somehow knew this was it

much of the day and in his own way got to say goodbye. We had to turn

the morphine up late in the day and he lost consciousness and then

died. I remember my aunt's description of my mother's death afterward-

" She was breathing hard and then she was at peace. " I just don't want

people mourning, but want them to move forward with whatever good

memories they have. I also don't want my ashes in an urn as I think

thats such a tough reminder. A photo of fun and enjoyment is a much

better memory. Now to each their own and I completely respect those

with more traditional ideas.

As to the costs of death and funerals, one needs to have some voice

of reason present as the immediate family often feels guilt and goes

overboard. Even on traditional funerals and burials the cost can be

modest or exhorbitant. Unfortunately some funeral homes do take

advantage of the emotional environment to oversell. I witnessed one

trying to sell a vault to a wife of someone being buried in a

military cemetary when the military provides the vault. I still am

trying to tell the difference between the $1500 caskets and the

$20,000 ones. Again, if one wants to spend the money, then fine, but

I think its definitely a subject to think seriously about before the

time.

>

> Yeah, Joyce, that sounds good! My daughter, 22, keeps

saying " write down what you want for a funeral " She's young and this

topic scares her. My Spousal Unit and I have discussed it and a

party keeps coming up as an option. I've told my daughter that,

after I'm dead, I'm dead. Anything done to mark my death should be

what means something to those left behind. But, being who were are,

we don't want funerals. While, not being Catholic, a wake sounds

good. Spousal Unit and I have decided that we'd like to be cremated

and have our ashes placed in fireworks that will be shot off to end

the party.

>

> I really hope the above doesn't gross anyone out or that anyone

thinks these sort of thoughts/comments are tasteless. I've just

never been the formal sort. No offense to anyone or their own

personal desires, but the American Way of Death has always offended

me. I resent docs making as much money off of me as they do; I

certainly don't want to turn over my family's resources to a

mortician.

>

> Peace be with you,

> Bonnie Faulkner/ IPF - 1/06 /SC

>

> ---------------------------------

> Pinpoint customers who are looking for what you sell.

>

October 16, 2007

Since we're on this subject I'd like to share that I bought

my 'eternal real estate' before I left on this holiday. Being a

Family Historian I LIKE addresses! I've enjoyed getting to know my

ancestors stories & it's always a thrill to find them in graveyards

in Australia , Ireland, Cornwall & England.

The place I've chosen is significant because our family drives past

it often on our way to our favourite camping spot at Woody Head

Beach. It is on a magnificent hill-top with a 360 Deg view of the

places where I've spent my life. Down south to Grafton on the

Clarence River where I grew up, West up to the Great Dividng Range

where my daughters were born at Armidale on the Northern Tablelands

& directly across to the Richmond River/Lismore area where we've

lived for the last 30 or so years & East to the Pacific Ocean where

we've played all that time!

It's also a highly significant Aboriginal Tribal Inititiation site &

has hardly been used by the White Colonial Society. I've asked

permission from our local Aboriginanl Elders to be buried there &

they have accepted me to do so. My headstone will be a dirty great

locally quarried ROCK surrounded by native shrubs!

People visit the spot to have picnics & watch for Koalas in the tall

Eucalypt Trees.

I want my family to continue to 'visit' me & have picnics & enjoy

the gorgeous views!

No funeral for me either, I've left a request that various friends

go to a spot that we've enjoyed together near wherever they live &

have a picnic with scrummy yummy tucka (food) & share a joke or

three !

My immediate family will be witness to my burial & of course have a

PICNIC!

When I get back to Oz I'll be researching bio-degradeable low-cost

coffins & the grandkids & I will do a big painting session (bio-

degradeable paint of course!) & store it under my house! The it's

all down & dusted & can be forgotten until the time is right!

Now many might see my actions as macabre or downright DOTTY but I

feel really CHUFFED that I've got it sorted! I LOVE my patch of Real

Estate & have often driven out there just to enjoy the view & watch

the Koalas & wondered about the time when Aboriginal people had

control of their own lives & land. It saddens me to think about the

results of our colonisation on their way of life & cultural

disintegration. They are so generaous in their forgiving of our

actions while they still live in such misery because of us!

I'm a Celtic/Anglo Saxon/ Norman girl by ancestry but I've been

nutured by the Spirit of the Bundjalung Nation Tribe all my life.

Kerensa,

in Cornwall from Oz

IPF; Fibrotic NSIP/UIP?

May 2007

> > >

> > > Yeah, Joyce, that sounds good! My daughter, 22, keeps

> > saying " write down what you want for a funeral " She's young and

this

> > topic scares her. My Spousal Unit and I have discussed it and a

> > party keeps coming up as an option. I've told my daughter that,

> > after I'm dead, I'm dead. Anything done to mark my death should

be

> > what means something to those left behind. But, being who were

are,

> > we don't want funerals. While, not being Catholic, a wake sounds

> > good. Spousal Unit and I have decided that we'd like to be

cremated

> > and have our ashes placed in fireworks that will be shot off to

end

> > the party.

> > >

> > > I really hope the above doesn't gross anyone out or that anyone

> > thinks these sort of thoughts/comments are tasteless. I've just

> > never been the formal sort. No offense to anyone or their own

> > personal desires, but the American Way of Death has always

offended

> > me. I resent docs making as much money off of me as they do; I

> > certainly don't want to turn over my family's resources to a

> > mortician.

> > >

> > > Peace be with you,

> > > Bonnie Faulkner/ IPF - 1/06 /SC

> > >

> > > ---------------------------------

> > > Pinpoint customers who are looking for what you sell.

> > >

> >

> >------------------------------------------------------------------

------

> >

> >No virus found in this incoming message.

> >Checked by AVG Free Edition.

> >Version: 7.5.488 / Virus Database: 269.14.11/1071 - Release Date:

10/15/2007 6:48 AM

> >

>

October 16, 2007