A Joke

[Guest guest]

I thought of us and our Battle of the Bulge when I was reading this

old joke. I think we can apply this to our fight against those

unwanted pounds.

PFC Commando Gramdma

Take all American women who are within five years of menopause -

train us for a few weeks, outfit us with automatic weapons,

grenades, gas masks, moisturizer with SPF15, Prozac, hormones,

chocolate, and canned tuna - drop us (parachuted, preferably)

across the landscape of Afghanistan, and let us do what comes

naturally.

Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when doing standard

stuff like grocery shopping and paying bills, is formidable enough to

make even armed men in turbans tremble.

When it comes to our children, we would gladly suffer or die to

protect them and their future.

We've survived the water diet, the protein diet, the carbohydrate diet,

and the grapefruit diet in gyms and saunas across America and

never lost a pound. We can easily survive months in the hostile

terrain of Afghanistan with no food at all!

We've spent years tracking down men in hardware stores, bars, or

sporting events...finding bin Laden in some cave will be no problem.

Many of us know every trick there is for how they hide, launder, or

cover up bank accounts and money sources. We know how to find

that money and we know how to seize it ... with or without the

government's help!

Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a new government?

Oh, please ... we've planned the seating arrangements for in-laws

and extended families at Thanksgiving dinners for years ... we

understand tribal warfare.

Let us go and fight. The Taliban hates women. Imagine their terror

as we crawl like ants with hot-flashes over their godforsaken terrain.

I'm going to write my Congresswoman. You should, too!

OK ladies - let's go!