Fw: words to live by

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Well, my surgery has been postponed from May 4 to May 11 so hang in there with me. I hate the waiting but I'll survive. Keep praying and pray there won't be another delay. Doris

P. S. While you are waiting, maybe you can enjoy the joke below.

> > Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my> > own> > > pants.> > >> > > Marriage changes passion. Suddenly, you're in bed with a relative.> > >> > > I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with "Guess" on it. So I said,> > > "Implants?" She hit me.> > >> > > I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.> > >> > > I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.> > >> > > I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person> > you want> > > to annoy for the rest of your life.> > >> > > Every time I walk into a singles bar, I can hear Mom's wise words:> > "Don't> > > pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"> > >> > > I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting> > > clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have> > signed up in> > > the first place!> > >> > > When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping." Now, I just> > "chunky dunk."> > >> > > Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell> > the> > > difference.> > >> > > Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off it.> > >> > > If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have> > started with> > > something called LABOR!> > >> > > Wouldn't you know it... Brain cells come and brain cells go, but> > FAT cells> > > live forever.> > >> > > Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten> > Commandments> > > cannot be displayed in a courthouse building?> > >> > > Bumper sticker of the year: "If you can read this, thank a> > teacher... and> > > since it's in English, thank a soldier."