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many of you are offering prayers for Jane Ann and , as i do.

this is hard, but i have to ask: for those of you with faith in the

Creator, how do you keep from questioning Him about what is going

on? knowing that He is Sovereign, knowing that His will is perfect,

knowing that the fault lies not in Him, do you ever wonder, " what am

i doing wrong, that all this should happen to me? what lessons am i

not learning, that this cycle of pain and debilitation and emptiness

keeps repeating itself over and over? " how do you turn back the

darts of satan that mock, as one person explained it, " God may love

you, but He doesn't have to like you? " it's not enough battling is

it-isn't it PLS; there's the constant other side issues: diarrhea

that lasts for six weeks, only to disappear the week of the

colonoscopy (which was negative). spots on my lungs that move

around, disappear, then come back, to be found unchanged by the CT

scan (tuesday - also negative) spots on my brain that worsen, then

disappear. pain that puts me in a wheelchair for six weeks, only to

also disappear the week before the cleveland clinic visit.(my

psychiatrist assures me i'm not crazy. he's the only one that feels

that way. maybe i should get a second opinion there, too!)

you all have your own stories, your own challenges. how do you

keep the faith in spite of it all? i have all (repeat, all!) faith

in God - that i am His child through adoption. i have wavering faith

that He still loves me, but is instead only tolerating me. the

Apostle felt that he was the chiefest of sinners. i begin to

wonder if i've taken his place.

yours in Him,

Tanniyny

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Laurel,

You said all of that very well and it expresses my feelings almost totally.

God didn't promise us we'd have no troubles, and I feel He gives us the

strength daily to deal with it. I don't FEEL corageous but some people think

I am. We, my husband and family, try to laugh a lot... even when there's

pain. He recently had a bad fall and is still recovering from it. (He

doesn't have PLS but we share some of the same symptoms due to a brain tumor

back in '94. We're quite a sight going to church. It's the lame leading the

crippled!. Friends and strangers are so wonderful when we go places...it

renews our faith in humanity.

Peace and blessings,

Vivian

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Laurel,

You said all of that very well and it expresses my feelings almost totally.

God didn't promise us we'd have no troubles, and I feel He gives us the

strength daily to deal with it. I don't FEEL corageous but some people think

I am. We, my husband and family, try to laugh a lot... even when there's

pain. He recently had a bad fall and is still recovering from it. (He

doesn't have PLS but we share some of the same symptoms due to a brain tumor

back in '94. We're quite a sight going to church. It's the lame leading the

crippled!. Friends and strangers are so wonderful when we go places...it

renews our faith in humanity.

Peace and blessings,

Vivian

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Vivian:

Thank you for your kind words. I sometimes get to feeling bad for myself, but

it doesn't take long to find someone worse off. I look at the victims of the

world trade centers, the victims and families of snipers, the parents who have

lost children, and I just think " by the Grace of God, there go I " . I am so

thankful for all that I have, and I just don't mean material things. God has

been good to me, and if I didn't have my faith, I'd just be so miserable.

You and your dear hubby sound like a darling couple to me. Aren't you glad you

have each other to " lean " on?

Love to you both,

Laurel

Re: Faith...

Laurel,

You said all of that very well and it expresses my feelings almost totally.

God didn't promise us we'd have no troubles, and I feel He gives us the

strength daily to deal with it. I don't FEEL corageous but some people think

I am. We, my husband and family, try to laugh a lot... even when there's

pain. He recently had a bad fall and is still recovering from it. (He

doesn't have PLS but we share some of the same symptoms due to a brain tumor

back in '94. We're quite a sight going to church. It's the lame leading the

crippled!. Friends and strangers are so wonderful when we go places...it

renews our faith in humanity.

Peace and blessings,

Vivian

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Vivian:

Thank you for your kind words. I sometimes get to feeling bad for myself, but

it doesn't take long to find someone worse off. I look at the victims of the

world trade centers, the victims and families of snipers, the parents who have

lost children, and I just think " by the Grace of God, there go I " . I am so

thankful for all that I have, and I just don't mean material things. God has

been good to me, and if I didn't have my faith, I'd just be so miserable.

You and your dear hubby sound like a darling couple to me. Aren't you glad you

have each other to " lean " on?

Love to you both,

Laurel

Re: Faith...

Laurel,

You said all of that very well and it expresses my feelings almost totally.

God didn't promise us we'd have no troubles, and I feel He gives us the

strength daily to deal with it. I don't FEEL corageous but some people think

I am. We, my husband and family, try to laugh a lot... even when there's

pain. He recently had a bad fall and is still recovering from it. (He

doesn't have PLS but we share some of the same symptoms due to a brain tumor

back in '94. We're quite a sight going to church. It's the lame leading the

crippled!. Friends and strangers are so wonderful when we go places...it

renews our faith in humanity.

Peace and blessings,

Vivian

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Vivian:

Thank you for your kind words. I sometimes get to feeling bad for myself, but

it doesn't take long to find someone worse off. I look at the victims of the

world trade centers, the victims and families of snipers, the parents who have

lost children, and I just think " by the Grace of God, there go I " . I am so

thankful for all that I have, and I just don't mean material things. God has

been good to me, and if I didn't have my faith, I'd just be so miserable.

You and your dear hubby sound like a darling couple to me. Aren't you glad you

have each other to " lean " on?

Love to you both,

Laurel

Re: Faith...

Laurel,

You said all of that very well and it expresses my feelings almost totally.

God didn't promise us we'd have no troubles, and I feel He gives us the

strength daily to deal with it. I don't FEEL corageous but some people think

I am. We, my husband and family, try to laugh a lot... even when there's

pain. He recently had a bad fall and is still recovering from it. (He

doesn't have PLS but we share some of the same symptoms due to a brain tumor

back in '94. We're quite a sight going to church. It's the lame leading the

crippled!. Friends and strangers are so wonderful when we go places...it

renews our faith in humanity.

Peace and blessings,

Vivian

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Laurel,

We are glad we have each other but the leaning is OUT...we'd both wind up on

the floor!!! We did wind up in the gutter one evening when he tried to help

me off a curb. That was funny but scary. The worst thing that happened was

he left his glasses on my friends' car and I had to call her and confess what

had happened in front of her house. We must have looked like 2 old drunks

but didn't have the " benefit " of the liquid stuff that would have produced

our behavior.

Keep your spirits UP!

Peace and blessings,

Vivian

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Laurel,

We are glad we have each other but the leaning is OUT...we'd both wind up on

the floor!!! We did wind up in the gutter one evening when he tried to help

me off a curb. That was funny but scary. The worst thing that happened was

he left his glasses on my friends' car and I had to call her and confess what

had happened in front of her house. We must have looked like 2 old drunks

but didn't have the " benefit " of the liquid stuff that would have produced

our behavior.

Keep your spirits UP!

Peace and blessings,

Vivian

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