Re: Falling (was Re: #66)

[Guest guest]

Rita, had to print this one out to show my wife! She has been on the

receiving end of a few of my falls and subsequent degeneration into fits

of what I can only describe as " PLS laughter " at my stupidity and

embarrassment at falling and at my inability to get up again myself.

Much and all as she knows I can't help my " laughter " , sooner or later if

it goes on for long it makes her angry.

The story of one of my most recent falls, probably about 8 or 10 months

ago now thankfully, is of a somewhat similar nature although it probably

doesn't rank up there with yours. About 6 months after coming home from

hospital and rehab after breaking my hip I was getting sick of using the

shower chair they gave me and decided to go back to trying to shower

standing up. We had at least had grab rails installed in the shower

because that was a condition of my being allowed home from rehab. Our

shower however is a very large one, probably about 7ft by 3ft and the

guy who installed the grab rails put them away from the shower head, so

they are good for use in getting into the shower but aren't really of

much use when you're actually showering.

Showering without using the shower chair had worked well for a week or

two and this particular night Jacqui was already in bed fast asleep as

it was about 11pm when I decided to have the shower. At one point I

lost concentration and toppled over, waking Jacqui up with a start

because the shower chair, bless its soul, partly broke my fall and ended

up with a clatter beside and under me on the shower floor. Being woken

from a deep sleep is not high on Jacqui's list of favourite things,

especially when she knows I have had some sort of problem and may need

her immediate assistance.

So, here was me, 6ft and 180lb, naked, wet and soapy on the floor of the

shower and Jacqui in her knickers, still trying to really wake up. She

had already got wet herself in turning the shower off and tried to put

her arms under mine and drag me up. Not a chance! Wet skin against wet

skin doesn't exactly lead to heaps of grip, thus exacerbating her

frustration. Even when she could manage to get a grip on me all that

happened as she tried to pick me up is that I went sliding along the

shower floor. By this stage I had already begun with the manic " PLS

laughter " and that wasn't helping the situation.

After a few minutes of Jacqui trying to pull me up and needing a rest I

tried to pull myself up using the grab rail. From my prone position,

which was all I could manage because of the slipperiness of the shower

floor, I could only reach the rail with one hand. All that happened as

I tried to pull myself up was I slid firstly one way along the floor,

then back the other way - real Keystone Kops stuff! Jacqui tried to

help lift me so I could get both hands on the rail but still couldn't

get a good grip so time and again I slid back to the floor. By this

time I was absolutely cacking myself with " laughter " , to the point where

Jacqui stormed off back to bed in tears and pulled the doonah up over

her head. My frustration at what this was doing to her and the

possibility of her hurting her back only served to make me " laugh " even

harder.

After a few minutes she regained her composure somewhat and came back.

My speech is abysmal at the best of times but in that situation is

impossible. Using very stilted sign language on my behalf we eventually

decided on a solution. Now that we were thinking more clearly Jacqui

wrapped a towel around me and dragged me out of the shower, over the 2 "

high lip of the shower with its 3/4 " metal runner for the sliding door

(ouch!!) and out onto the tiled bathroom floor. After a short rest she

then dragged me about another 8 feet across the tiled floor, did a 90

degree turn with me and dragged me out through the door onto the carpet

where I could finally get some purchase. Using my walker and with

Jacqui's assistance I finally managed to stagger to my feet. Needless

to say that although I can see the funny side of it now, it isn't one of

her favourite memories! Oh, the things we do............

PS Hope you've fully recovered from your most recent fall. :-)

ritadfromhollis@... wrote:

> Oh Mike, that is funny, but not fun! I find it difficult to laugh

> when

> I read about a fall, except at myself. I got a good one for you. A

> few

> years ago, my youngest son (Mike) and I were walking into a local

> bank,

> when I stumbled and went down. Twisted my ankle and foot really bad.

> Then I was still using my wheelchair (I hadn't purchased my walker at

> that time) Well we made it home, and it hurt, but I could still walk

> on

> it, not well. So we all retired for the evening, and I woke up and

> hat

> to got potty. Well started to walk to the bathroom, and the pain was

>

> so bad, I could not stand it, so I called for Mike to help me to the

> bathroom. He heard me call for help, fell out of the bed and got a

> severe cramp in his leg, and boy did we start to laugh. Well by now I

>

> had to go so bad I just knew I would never make it, so I asked him to

> go

> get a small bucket under the sink. He did, and then I said to stick

> the

> bucket between my legs, and he said " NO WAY MA, I AIN " T GOING THERE " .

> So if you can visualize me standing there with my underpants down

> around

> my knees, pleading with my son to put this bucket in a position, so I

> would piddle on the rug, I was laughing hysterically (he didn't think

> it

> was so funny. Final I was able to get the bucket in a position that I

> could go, and by now had got up to see what all the commotion

> was,

> and we looked so foolish (oh I forgot to tell you Mike was standing

> and

> wearing only his underwear) and started to laugh, but he was able

>

> to empty the bucket and we all settled in and had a good night sleep.

> Bet nobody can top that story, and my son still doesn't think it was

> funny.

>

> Rita

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