Article: Love your body as it is. Dr.

[Guest guest]

4 Golden Rules For Loving Yourself Fat

An eDiets.com Exclusiveby Dr.

Why do you want to lose weight? Most of us want to shed a few -- or maybe a lot of pounds -- because we dislike or even hate ourselves when we are overweight.

Fine, I think losing weight is a great idea. But there is one big problem -- hating yourself while fat just adds to the problem of overeating.

Self-hate of any kind is detrimental to any weight loss program. If we are to lose weight and keep it off, we have to learn to love who and what we are as we are now... not how we will be later. This means learning to love ourselves fat. Here are some suggestions for doing that as quickly as possible.

How To Love Yourself Fat

1. Get real! Face the reality that you are overweight and that you will probably be that way for a while. I don’t mean forever. I mean a while. You will not be thin by tomorrow. I don’t care what juice or pill you are taking. This weight loss thing takes time and lots of effort. It will all go easier if you decide to learn to love yourself and your body as it exists right now.

Remember, we change faster and with less effort when we're motivated by love. If you hate your body it will naturally resist your efforts to change. Don’t ask me how this works because I don’t really know. But I do know that it's true. I may sound preachy and new agey but the fact is love is the best motivator.

2. Accept the fact that for most of us body love makes no sense! We like thin better than fat so we diet. But I didn't say you have to like your body. I said you have to love your body. There is a difference.

Think about it. I'm sure there is at least one person in your life that you love but don’t like. That is the way many of us feel about certain family members. We care about them. We wish them well. We would do almost anything for them. But given the choice, we would not pick that person for a friend. We love them but we don’t like them. That is how I suggest you begin to think and feel about the body you are so eager to change. Love it now -- you can like it later.

What does body love mean? It means you stop picking on it with those nasty thoughts and statements that plague you all day long. Stop it. Your body has enough problems without you hating it and abusing it with judgments and curses every time you look in a mirror.

Once you stop the nasty thinking you can learn to care for your body like it was a true treasure. Give it the rest, exercise, vitamins, healthy foods, water and massages that it craves. This is called body love.

3. Stop comparing your body to other bodies! I receive emails every week from bodies that beg me to ask their owners to stop playing the Comparison Game. Comparing is the fastest track to body hate that there is. If you want to hate your body and gain weight as fast as you can then you will become an expert at the Comparison Game. If you want to take a fast track to thin, then you will need to heed these words. Stop comparing.

How do you stop comparing? First you have to want to stop. It can be an addictive practice because every once in a while you probably see someone who you think looks worse than you. But most of the time the comparison ends in self-hate and you cannot afford that kind of toxic energy in your mind or your body. So stop it!

After you want to stop you have to begin to control your mind. The easiest way is to notice a comparing thought beginning to arise. When it puts its ugly head into view, you have to say, “OK, thanks for sharing, but your opinion is no longer needed or wanted. Goodbye.” After you do this 100 or 200 times, it will get easier and you will discover that the Comparison Game has lost its thrill.

4. Practice affirming your body! Most of us take our bodies for granted. Take the time to think about the positive aspects of your body. It breathes and walks and talks for you. It supports your brain. It gives you a place to call “me.” It has been with you through thick and will be there when thin appears. Look for reasons to care for and affirm the only body you have. Think of it as family that you love and spend time paying attention to its needs.

Now go back to item number one: Get real. This may be the most important one for most of you. This weight loss thing that we are all a part of is a long-term process and we may as well learn to enjoy the journey.

No one wants to go on a long trip with someone they hate. Your body is your partner for the duration and you cannot change that. Get real and get on with loving it. It will love you back. I promise.

, D. Min., is a counselor, organizational consultant and seminar leader. He lives and works in Boca Raton, Florida. You can contact him at mattcoyote@....