Re: Question about fears during pregnancy with MAs (pg ment)

[Guest guest]

Hi Tara,

I know exactly how you feel, I'm at near the end of first trimester,

but I don't feel any safer. My OB and some others I have talked to

are very optimistic, but it just doesn't calm me down – I don't think

I'll be relaxed until I see the baby safe in my arms.

I know I didn't help you, just wanted you to know that you're not

alone.

Gabi

> Hi everyone. I was just wondering...

>

> Many women feel that once they're out of the first trimester that

> they can relax for the most part and enjoy their pregnancies. I

know

> that although I feel pretty good about how things are going, there

is

> always a thought in the back of my mind that is scared that I will

> have pre-term labor or that something terrible will happen. Of

> course, I continue to push those thoughts away and try to remain

> positive.

>

> I am wondering if of the ladies here with MAs who've been pregnant

> and had your children have felt relief after the first trimester or

> if the nagging doubts continued all the way through. I know this

can

> happen even if you don't have an MA, or if you have other issues.

> But, I'm just curious as to your experience.

>

> One other thing - since I'm feeling emotionally fragile at the

moment

> about this topic, if you answer with a painful story - can you

please

> be sure to label the subject line? I do really really appreciate it.

>

> Best wishes to everyone!

> Tara

> BU

> 19w4d

[Guest guest]

Hi Tara,

I know exactly how you feel, I'm at near the end of first trimester,

but I don't feel any safer. My OB and some others I have talked to

are very optimistic, but it just doesn't calm me down – I don't think

I'll be relaxed until I see the baby safe in my arms.

I know I didn't help you, just wanted you to know that you're not

alone.

Gabi

> Hi everyone. I was just wondering...

>

> Many women feel that once they're out of the first trimester that

> they can relax for the most part and enjoy their pregnancies. I

know

> that although I feel pretty good about how things are going, there

is

> always a thought in the back of my mind that is scared that I will

> have pre-term labor or that something terrible will happen. Of

> course, I continue to push those thoughts away and try to remain

> positive.

>

> I am wondering if of the ladies here with MAs who've been pregnant

> and had your children have felt relief after the first trimester or

> if the nagging doubts continued all the way through. I know this

can

> happen even if you don't have an MA, or if you have other issues.

> But, I'm just curious as to your experience.

>

> One other thing - since I'm feeling emotionally fragile at the

moment

> about this topic, if you answer with a painful story - can you

please

> be sure to label the subject line? I do really really appreciate it.

>

> Best wishes to everyone!

> Tara

> BU

> 19w4d

[Guest guest]

Hi Tara,

I know exactly how you feel, I'm at near the end of first trimester,

but I don't feel any safer. My OB and some others I have talked to

are very optimistic, but it just doesn't calm me down – I don't think

I'll be relaxed until I see the baby safe in my arms.

I know I didn't help you, just wanted you to know that you're not

alone.

Gabi

> Hi everyone. I was just wondering...

>

> Many women feel that once they're out of the first trimester that

> they can relax for the most part and enjoy their pregnancies. I

know

> that although I feel pretty good about how things are going, there

is

> always a thought in the back of my mind that is scared that I will

> have pre-term labor or that something terrible will happen. Of

> course, I continue to push those thoughts away and try to remain

> positive.

>

> I am wondering if of the ladies here with MAs who've been pregnant

> and had your children have felt relief after the first trimester or

> if the nagging doubts continued all the way through. I know this

can

> happen even if you don't have an MA, or if you have other issues.

> But, I'm just curious as to your experience.

>

> One other thing - since I'm feeling emotionally fragile at the

moment

> about this topic, if you answer with a painful story - can you

please

> be sure to label the subject line? I do really really appreciate it.

>

> Best wishes to everyone!

> Tara

> BU

> 19w4d

[Guest guest]

Tara,

As you may know, I didn't get diagnosed with my MA until after DS was

born. I can appreciate the worry you feel, because even as a

seemingly " normal " pregnant woman, I had to work hard to erase the

fears of loss that haunted me frequently. Knowing what I do now, I

know that when I do get pregnant again, I'm really going to have to

work for that peace of mind, if it even CAN be achieved.

Here is what I repeated to myself every day:

I am doing the best I can (eating healthfully, etc) to give this baby

everything s/he needs.

I can't control what will happen, so I choose to think positive.

You can't prepare yourself for the worst - don't even try. Will

worrying lessen the pain if something does go wrong? No. So don't

go there - don't put yourself through it!

And in specific answer to your question, yes...I worried the whole

time. Until he was outside my body...and then I worried about other

things, like is he getting enough milk? peeing enough? what about

pooping? You get the picture. : )

Take care, Tara. You're in my thoughts!

SU

[Guest guest]

Hi . Thanks for the response. I agree with the things you

repeated to yourself and agree that you can't prepare yourself for

the worst. This is exactly what I had in mind when I decided to be

positive.

Thanks again!

Tara

BU

19w4d

[Guest guest]

Tara, thanks for asking this question, as I'm going through the same thing.

As i face the second trimester and finally getting to tell everyone about the

pg, I think, should i wait a little longer, until I know everything's ok?

When i know I'll never feel that way for more than a couple hours! I seesaw

between feeling completely confident and happy, to freaking out. Every visit

to the dr, the euphoria only lasts about a day!

11 wks

[Guest guest]

Hey there,

Sorry it's taken me a while to get on line and reply.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that yes of

course I had those thoughts...how can you not? But,

as you noted, many non-MA women do too (if not

pre-term worries, there are lots of other things to

come up with!). You just can't let those thoughts

take over...you have to try to keep a positive

attitude and enjoy the pregnancy. With each sonogram,

lab test and week that went by I felt a little bit

better about things, but never really stopped having

those little icky thoughts until about week 34 (at

which point I felt some what OK about having a

pre-term birth). I remember meeting a SU (when I was

about 25 weeks) who had delivered at 27 weeks...that

was pretty weird. On one hand all those thoughts I

had put off for a while came rushing back, but on the

other hand, she said her daughter was doing

perfectly(she was then 4yrs. old). After an initial 80

days in the hospital, her little girl developed

normally (and the mom now volunteers with other

preemies/moms at a local hospital). It was at least a

little reassuring to know that should something

happen, hospitals are so much better able to deal with

preemies than they used to be.

But getting back to enjoying the pregnancy...do try

to! You likely have tons of knowledge about what's

happening, a Dr. whose keeping up with your progress

and lotsa support...it's no guarantee something won't

happen, but you'll be prepared and able to pick up on

the warning signs soon enough that you can get help

fast. Sorry this is such a long a response, but I do

want to let you know that there are BUs out there that

have carried full and near to full term (me-42 weeks!)

and have beautiful babies (see pic of Emma @ 10

mo.)... I think you're doing good by recognizing you

have worries and dealing with them instead of letting

them get you down. Take care of yourself and your

munchkin to be...Feel good about starting to show and

get some super cute sandals to go with that sexy, ever

growing belly of yours!

--- tens00 wrote:

> Hi everyone. I was just wondering...

>

> Many women feel that once they're out of the first

> trimester that

> they can relax for the most part and enjoy their

> pregnancies. I know

> that although I feel pretty good about how things

> are going, there is

> always a thought in the back of my mind that is

> scared that I will

> have pre-term labor or that something terrible will

> happen. Of

> course, I continue to push those thoughts away and

> try to remain

> positive.

>

> I am wondering if of the ladies here with MAs who've

> been pregnant

> and had your children have felt relief after the

> first trimester or

> if the nagging doubts continued all the way through.

> I know this can

> happen even if you don't have an MA, or if you have

> other issues.

> But, I'm just curious as to your experience.

>

> One other thing - since I'm feeling emotionally

> fragile at the moment

> about this topic, if you answer with a painful story

> - can you please

> be sure to label the subject line? I do really

> really appreciate it.

>

> Best wishes to everyone!

> Tara

> BU

> 19w4d

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hey there,

Sorry it's taken me a while to get on line and reply.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that yes of

course I had those thoughts...how can you not? But,

as you noted, many non-MA women do too (if not

pre-term worries, there are lots of other things to

come up with!). You just can't let those thoughts

take over...you have to try to keep a positive

attitude and enjoy the pregnancy. With each sonogram,

lab test and week that went by I felt a little bit

better about things, but never really stopped having

those little icky thoughts until about week 34 (at

which point I felt some what OK about having a

pre-term birth). I remember meeting a SU (when I was

about 25 weeks) who had delivered at 27 weeks...that

was pretty weird. On one hand all those thoughts I

had put off for a while came rushing back, but on the

other hand, she said her daughter was doing

perfectly(she was then 4yrs. old). After an initial 80

days in the hospital, her little girl developed

normally (and the mom now volunteers with other

preemies/moms at a local hospital). It was at least a

little reassuring to know that should something

happen, hospitals are so much better able to deal with

preemies than they used to be.

But getting back to enjoying the pregnancy...do try

to! You likely have tons of knowledge about what's

happening, a Dr. whose keeping up with your progress

and lotsa support...it's no guarantee something won't

happen, but you'll be prepared and able to pick up on

the warning signs soon enough that you can get help

fast. Sorry this is such a long a response, but I do

want to let you know that there are BUs out there that

have carried full and near to full term (me-42 weeks!)

and have beautiful babies (see pic of Emma @ 10

mo.)... I think you're doing good by recognizing you

have worries and dealing with them instead of letting

them get you down. Take care of yourself and your

munchkin to be...Feel good about starting to show and

get some super cute sandals to go with that sexy, ever

growing belly of yours!

--- tens00 wrote:

> Hi everyone. I was just wondering...

>

> Many women feel that once they're out of the first

> trimester that

> they can relax for the most part and enjoy their

> pregnancies. I know

> that although I feel pretty good about how things

> are going, there is

> always a thought in the back of my mind that is

> scared that I will

> have pre-term labor or that something terrible will

> happen. Of

> course, I continue to push those thoughts away and

> try to remain

> positive.

>

> I am wondering if of the ladies here with MAs who've

> been pregnant

> and had your children have felt relief after the

> first trimester or

> if the nagging doubts continued all the way through.

> I know this can

> happen even if you don't have an MA, or if you have

> other issues.

> But, I'm just curious as to your experience.

>

> One other thing - since I'm feeling emotionally

> fragile at the moment

> about this topic, if you answer with a painful story

> - can you please

> be sure to label the subject line? I do really

> really appreciate it.

>

> Best wishes to everyone!

> Tara

> BU

> 19w4d

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi Tara,

You do not know this - but I calm my worries almost daily thinking

about you. I say.. well if Tara is such and such date today then I...

My RE told me that 20 weeks is the next " milestone " after the first

trimester " milestone " . In my book - your half way there.

Since I do not have any children I can not say if the worries are any

less after the first trimester. Mine have lessened somewhat, but

like you it is always " nagging " in the back of my head.

My thoughts are with you. You are not alone and you are an

inspiration. Keep up the good baby making.

Hollie - 34

14w3d, BU or SU

[Guest guest]

Hi Tara,

You do not know this - but I calm my worries almost daily thinking

about you. I say.. well if Tara is such and such date today then I...

My RE told me that 20 weeks is the next " milestone " after the first

trimester " milestone " . In my book - your half way there.

Since I do not have any children I can not say if the worries are any

less after the first trimester. Mine have lessened somewhat, but

like you it is always " nagging " in the back of my head.

My thoughts are with you. You are not alone and you are an

inspiration. Keep up the good baby making.

Hollie - 34

14w3d, BU or SU