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Thursday, June 23, 2005

On the prowl

Meet the new urban cougars – older women who enjoy younger men.

By KATHERINE NGUYEN

The Orange County Register

We're not talking about the ferocious mountain lion.

The cougar we're tracking lurks in happening bars or upscale

lounges, likely lapping up a pretty martini and basking in the

attention of younger admirers.

She's typically in her 30s to late 40s, attractive, defiant when

society tries to cage her. Fiercely untamed, she prefers sexy

clothing.

Think from " Sex and the City " or Edie Britt

from " Desperate Housewives. "

If you aren't familiar with the species yet, you should be. Cougars

are becomingly increasingly easy to spot.

Sharon Stone is set to star in a romantic comedy aptly

titled " Cougar, " as a wealthy woman in her 40s who can't resist

younger men. The WB's " Living With Fran " stars Fran Drescher playing

a recent divorcée with a twentysomething boyfriend. And Jerry Hall,

the 48-year-old, leggy ex-wife of rocker Mick Jagger, has her own

reality TV show called " Kept " in which she auditions a cast of young

hunks to be her arm candy.

The growing cougar subculture can also be found online at

www.urbancougar.com, a Web site that pays homage to the cougar

lifestyle.

" We're trying to make it a better world for cougars since we're huge

fans, " said Mape, a Newport Beach native who created the site

with friend Mark Lobosco.

A cougar, according to the guys, is a woman who has shunned the

traditional lifestyle of getting older and settling down in the

suburbs with kids. She's got a successful career, enjoys traveling,

going out, and " looks amazing for her age, " said Lobosco.

" Just look at all the hot moms who dress like J.Lo at Fashion

Island, " said Mape. " It's flattering if she's 45 but looks 25 from

far away. "

They insist new divorcées fit nicely into the cougar category and

clarify that an MILF (Mom I'd Like to, um, Freak) " is just a

domesticated cougar, " said Mape.

ABC's " Primetime Live " interviewed the guys for a segment on cougars

that aired last month. And talks are under way, Mape said, with the

producers of " The O.C. " to explore a TV series.

Mape, 29, started the Web site as a joke. It has since boomed, with

40,000 unique visitors a month, on the strength of features such

as " Urban Cougar of the Month, " where to find " Cougar Dens, " and a

section that classifies cougars into types.

It lists Orange County as home to several cougar hotspots - namely,

The Quiet Woman in Corona del Mar and Gulfstream in Newport Beach.

" The cougars in Orange County, especially Newport Beach, are second

to none and as good as it gets, " Mape said.

On a recent Thursday evening, the cozy Quiet Woman along Coast

Highway was crawling with good-looking women well into their fourth

decades. It was easy to chat up guys at the bar about cougars. Not

so much with the potential cougars themselves, most of whom insisted

that they had no idea what a cougar was or why they would know in

the first place.

" Of course I know what a cougar is, " said Vanos, 37, who

lives in Corona del Mar. " Except back home in Australia, we call

them 'boilers' - boiled but not poached. "

Asked to further explain the characteristics of a cougar, Vanos

added: " They're on their last leg with nothing to lose. They've come

to terms with life and they're not afraid to go after what they

want. "

That kind of sentiment is exactly why the majority of women at the

bar bristled at the mention of the C-word.

" It sucks being called a cougar, " said Jen Sloan, 36, also of Corona

del Mar. " The term is offensive. It makes the woman out to be some

sort of desperate predator. "

Her boyfriend, Mark Inglis, 27, disagreed.

" It's a badge of honor, " he said, laughing. " Cougars are great. It's

exciting; it's all about the hunt and it's fun as hell. "

As McKelvie, 36, of Aliso Viejo, put it, " They know what they

want, and they aren't afraid to get it. "

Dressed in a slinky orange camisole and denim skirt, Dawnielle

Kelley, 37, embraced the title.

" Yeah! Cougar; it's classic, I love it, " said Kelley, who lives in

Tustin and has a 30-year-old boyfriend. " I don't care if I'm called

that. Women are more successful with their jobs than ever, and we

don't need a guy to take care of us. "

So what's this thing with younger men?

" It's the same reason why older men like younger women: Hot bodies! "

Kelley declared, laughing.

It's not always about the hunt, some argue.

" I feel we're helping these young men to be men, not in a sexual

way, but helping them to understand what motivates women, " said

Sheri Newcomer, 47, of Corona del Mar.

She's advised younger guys to go ahead and send a drink to a girl

across the bar because it's an " elegant and not pushy " move,

something she says doesn't happen at bars anymore. In turn, the

young men teach Newcomer about things like the X Games and the

latest cell phones.

" I give them a little bit of schooling on how to treat a lady, " said

Newcomer. " This is what I find so fun in meeting younger men. "

Where to go

According to www.urbancougar.com, Orange County is home to plenty of

cougar dens:

The Foxfire, Anaheim

La Cave, Newport Beach

Opah, Aliso Viejo

The Quiet Woman, Corona del Mar

Gulfstream, Newport Beach

Velvet Lounge, Prego Restaurant, Irvine