Re: Rant!

[Guest guest]

Note that when I said " walked out " I meant out of the room, not the

house or anything.

So, his big solution was to make dinner for the next two nights.

That's nice but... does it solve the overall problem? No.

I'm not sure why this bothers me so much, but it does.

>

> So, it's 5:30 and dinner is over. I'm really, really angry and

> thought I'd vent it here.

>

> You know, it's no wonder I used to use food and drink for comfort.

It

> definitely made the unpleasant feelings go away.

>

> I have a husband and two little kids. My husband is only home for

> dinner three nights a week. On those nights, I like to make a

little

> something special because we're eating together as a family.

>

> I don't know why I do this. I have to plan the meal, spend the

money,

> prepare the meal, and do all the cleanup afterward, ALONE. They sit

> there during the meal, and do nothing but criticize it. " The shrimp

> are a little dry, don't you think? " " I don't like this, it's too

> spicy. " " Why couldn't we have macaroni and cheese instead? "

>

> Then, they all get up, go into the other room, and leave me alone

to

> clean up.

>

> No one compliments me. No one even says thank you, despite me

> reminding them time and time again. The best my husband ever says

is

> that dinner is " pretty good. "

>

> So, I went in there and told them how it made me feel. I got angry

> and upset, and explained it to them, and the kids started crying,

and

> my husband got mad and walked out.

>

> Nice. Real nice.

>

[Guest guest]

I'm sorry that was such an upsetting experience for you. It hurts when the people you love miss your loving intentions.

-- Re: Rant!

Note that when I said "walked out" I meant out of the room, not the house or anything.So, his big solution was to make dinner for the next two nights. That's nice but... does it solve the overall problem? No.I'm not sure why this bothers me so much, but it does.>> So, it's 5:30 and dinner is over. I'm really, really angry and > thought I'd vent it here.> > You know, it's no wonder I used to use food and drink for comfort. It > definitely made the unpleasant feelings go away.> > I have a husband and two little kids. My husband is only home for > dinner three nights a week. On those nights, I like to make a little > something special because we're eating together as a family.> > I don't know why I do this. I have to plan the meal, spend the money, > prepare the meal, and do all the cleanup afterward, ALONE. They sit > there during the meal, and do nothing but criticize it. "The shrimp > are a little dry, don't you think?" "I don't like this, it's too > spicy." "Why couldn't we have macaroni and cheese instead?"> > Then, they all get up, go into the other room, and leave me alone to > clean up.> > No one compliments me. No one even says thank you, despite me > reminding them time and time again. The best my husband ever says is > that dinner is "pretty good."> > So, I went in there and told them how it made me feel. I got angry > and upset, and explained it to them, and the kids started crying, and > my husband got mad and walked out.> > Nice. Real nice.>

[Guest guest]

>

> So, it's 5:30 and dinner is over. I'm really, really angry and

> thought I'd vent it here.

>

Traci -

I TOTALLLY get this! I have 4 kids ... same deal here. I try for

nice family dinners and 9 times out of 10 it ends up the same way!

Just wanted to let you know it's not just you! I am right there with

you!

Don't have any nice profound advice to offer though

Just sympathy.

<hugs> christi

[Guest guest]

I applaud your speaking up, you were genuinely angry! I do hope that

your hubby and children will be able to 'hear' the hurt and

disappointment you must have felt & that caused your outburst of

feelings.

Will you now decide to not make these 'family' dinners? If you do,

maybe remember that its YOUR 'gift' - for yourself or you wouldn't do

it right? I also wonder if the family would be more enthusiastic about

these dinners if they took turns picking the menu? Heck if they want

macaroni and cheese why bust a gut with a devine shrimp dish? And you

get to have a choice too

>

> So, it's 5:30 and dinner is over. I'm really, really angry and

> thought I'd vent it here.

>

> You know, it's no wonder I used to use food and drink for comfort. It

> definitely made the unpleasant feelings go away.

>

> I have a husband and two little kids. My husband is only home for

> dinner three nights a week. On those nights, I like to make a little

> something special because we're eating together as a family.

>

> I don't know why I do this. I have to plan the meal, spend the money,

> prepare the meal, and do all the cleanup afterward, ALONE. They sit

> there during the meal, and do nothing but criticize it. " The shrimp

> are a little dry, don't you think? " " I don't like this, it's too

> spicy. " " Why couldn't we have macaroni and cheese instead? "

>

> Then, they all get up, go into the other room, and leave me alone to

> clean up.

>

> No one compliments me. No one even says thank you, despite me

> reminding them time and time again. The best my husband ever says is

> that dinner is " pretty good. "

>

> So, I went in there and told them how it made me feel. I got angry

> and upset, and explained it to them, and the kids started crying, and

> my husband got mad and walked out.

>

> Nice. Real nice.

>

[Guest guest]

See, that's the thing. I'm trying to eat intuitively, which means

eating what *I* want to eat. Sure, if I wanted to eat a slab of steak

every weekend, or Hamburger Helper, everyone would be thrilled. But I

don't. So, unless I want to make different dinners for everyone,

someone's going to lose out. I prefer light foods that are low in fat

and highly seasoned. I love Mexican food- no one else does. I've got

the only kids in the world that hate spaghetti, tacos, and sloppy

joes. And hubby likes meat and potatoes.

He offered to make dinner this weekend, and I am going to let him.

I'm fighting the urges to just say " forget it " and do it myself,

because I want to remind him about all that goes into preparing a

meal for the family. So, if he doesn't remember to defrost something

this morning, he's not going to have anything for dinner tonight.

Then, he's going to make dinner, and the kids are going to pick at it

(although we'll probably end up eating macaroni and cheese from a box

so they'll be happy) and then run off, and he'll be stuck cleaning

the kitchen. I want him to remember what feeding this family for two

days takes...

The thing is, DH is a generally negative guy. It's not his fault-his

brain is wired that way. I always joke that we can walk into a room

and see a huge window, and I'll comment on the view outside and the

sunlight streaming in, and he'll notice the fingerprints on the

window and the fact that the screen is torn.

But, this is not NEW. He was this way when I married him. Why am I

getting all upset about it now-13 years later?

This must have to do with some deeper issue about food that I don't

understand yet.

Thanks for the replies. It helps having a place to vent.

tv

> >

> > So, it's 5:30 and dinner is over. I'm really, really angry and

> > thought I'd vent it here.

> >

> > You know, it's no wonder I used to use food and drink for

comfort. It

> > definitely made the unpleasant feelings go away.

> >

> > I have a husband and two little kids. My husband is only home for

> > dinner three nights a week. On those nights, I like to make a

little

> > something special because we're eating together as a family.

> >

> > I don't know why I do this. I have to plan the meal, spend the

money,

> > prepare the meal, and do all the cleanup afterward, ALONE. They

sit

> > there during the meal, and do nothing but criticize it. " The

shrimp

> > are a little dry, don't you think? " " I don't like this, it's too

> > spicy. " " Why couldn't we have macaroni and cheese instead? "

> >

> > Then, they all get up, go into the other room, and leave me alone

to

> > clean up.

> >

> > No one compliments me. No one even says thank you, despite me

> > reminding them time and time again. The best my husband ever says

is

> > that dinner is " pretty good. "

> >

> > So, I went in there and told them how it made me feel. I got

angry

> > and upset, and explained it to them, and the kids started crying,

and

> > my husband got mad and walked out.

> >

> > Nice. Real nice.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Traci, I'm so sorry this happened. How frustrating to try to do something nice for the family and have it criticized. I hope hubby understands what you go through to make dinner for the family when he does it this weekend. My brother and sister and I were pretty ungrateful, picky eaters when we were kids. I remember one night my mom fixed dinner for herself and my dad and told us kids that we were on our own. That got the message across pretty quickly. __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Traci, I'm so sorry this happened. How frustrating to try to do something nice for the family and have it criticized. I hope hubby understands what you go through to make dinner for the family when he does it this weekend. My brother and sister and I were pretty ungrateful, picky eaters when we were kids. I remember one night my mom fixed dinner for herself and my dad and told us kids that we were on our own. That got the message across pretty quickly. __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Traci, I'm so sorry this happened. How frustrating to try to do something nice for the family and have it criticized. I hope hubby understands what you go through to make dinner for the family when he does it this weekend. My brother and sister and I were pretty ungrateful, picky eaters when we were kids. I remember one night my mom fixed dinner for herself and my dad and told us kids that we were on our own. That got the message across pretty quickly. __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Sorry to hear this, !...that really stinks!.....i would be

tempted to go on strike for a week or so!..take care,

sweets......huggs to you, debra

> So, it's 5:30 and dinner is over. I'm

really, really angry and thought I'd vent it here. You know, it's no

wonder I used to use food and drink for comfort. It definitely made

the unpleasant feelings go away. I have a husband and two little

kids. My husband is only home for dinner three nights a week. On

those nights, I like to make a little something special because

we're eating together as a family. I don't know why I do this. I

have to plan the meal, spend the money, prepare the meal, and do

all the cleanup afterward, ALONE. They sit there during the meal,

and do nothing but criticize it. " The shrimp are a little dry, don't

you think? " " I don't like this, it's too spicy. " " Why couldn't we

have macaroni and cheese instead? " Then, they all get up, go into

the other room, and leave me alone to clean up. No one compliments

me. No one even says thank you, despite me reminding them time and

time again. The best my husband ever says is that dinner is " pretty

good. " So, I went in there and told them how it made me feel. I got

angry and upset, and explained it to them, and the kids started

crying, and my husband got mad and walked out.Nice. Real nice.---