Familt stress and how to deal with it

[Guest guest]

Well peeps, all hell has been breaking loose at Chez Mo as I am sure it is

at many homes around the globe at this time of year.

Thought I'd share some of my hell with you all, just to cheer you all up you

understand!

My son's girlfriend has been making my life a misery.

My son is back from university for the Christmas break and as I only have

one bedroom, I bought an expensive airbed for he and girlfriend could sleep in

the sitting room.

I had, very stupidly, given up my own bedroom to them in the October break

and then thought twice about it and took it back, giving them a present of the

very expensive airbed.

So last week, 20th, day before my birthday, the girlfriend stayed to

complain that she did not have enough privacy sleeping in the sitting room.

She did not stop to think for one moment that MY privacy may have been

getting invaded which it was because they were coming in at 2, 3am and getting

up

at 1 and 2 in the afternoon. I asked, nicely, if they could try to get in a

little earlier and up and a little earlier as the dog starts barking and wakes

me up when they get in and the upstairs neighbour has complained about being

woken by this also. Son thought that was reasonable, girlfriend did not so

they have been staying at her parents a lot over the Christmas period.

I was hurt and upset by her comments to my son that she did not have the

privacy she would like and we talked.

She said she was not happy with the amount of time Danny was spending

helping me with housework, shopping etc. and that I did not look sick to

her!!!!!!!!!!! Well you can imagine the kind of buttons that pressed.

I had planned a meal out with my son for my birthday and she invited herself

along. When I said no, she really got enranged. She cannot be apart from him

for an hour without getting intop these massive depressions.

My son went to Spain in May with some of his male friends and his girlfriend

went into a month-long depression in order to guilt him into not going.

Ditto when he and I had planned a meal out in October. She wanted to come,

then she wanted to join us at 10 pm, then she wanted to meet him back here at

midnight and stay the night. She kept this incredible pressure up with the

depressions and tears for a whole week in order to get him to cave in to her

demands. And then, as I say, same shit on the night of my birthday. The woman is

like vampire only she is too young to realise it.

This is not a judgement. Oddly enough I was exactly the same at her age with

my then boyfriend, he could ot pop out tot he shop without me wanting to go

with me. Age 20 that is.

So I was getting well sick of her. But thought I would try to get things

onto a better footing so invited them round yesterday for a meal, they were due

at lunchtime.

They appeared at 5 and informed me casually that they would be eating and

sleeping at the girlfriend's parents. I had spent hours making a veggie lasagne

with red, white and green Christmassy stripes and some lovely leek and potato

soup.

said she would just pop home and get a change of clothes and she

appeared THREE hours later, one hour before my bedtime which meant she did not

have to spend time with me and there was therefore no opportunity for me to try

to have this pleasant evening to try to get things right between us.

Well I then threw a wobbly.

I asked them both to leave. I told my son I thought he was a coward, a wuss

and that if he had dealt with the issues emanating from his girlfriend i.e.

jealousy, possessiveness etc. that I would not have been forced to challenge

the behaviour which resulted in this tension.

I told him that I have turned over a whole new leaf and that my health was

now going to take priority over EVERYTHING else...........

that my home needed to be an oasis of calm not just in a wistful wishing

kind of way but as serious medical need.

And that anything or anyone that got in the way of that I would cut out of

my life if I had to.

I am now, this morning, feeling: have i lost leave of my senses or have I

just found them?!

I feel I want to say to my son to keep his girlfriend away from my home

and if I do that I may well have to push him away as well. And that is hard,

this is my only child.

But I may have to do that for my survival.

Would love some feedback on this from you lovely people.

Mo

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