Re: IV get out of my brain!

[Guest guest]

I can't even tell you the extent of what I really think and how I feel - it all

sounds so

terrible even in my head, I cannot commit it to written words.

I also know everyone else would read it and see it for the foolishness it is -

and that I

know full well it is. But knowing doesn't change how I feel and how it affects

me. Knowing

it also doesn't mean I know how to stop feeling that way.

I don't think I can come to terms with the size I am now - not as long as I

dont' want to. I

spent 45 years no bigger than a size 10 - and only got to this size after

steroids and

illness. It does not feel like 'me' and I don't want it to.

I didn't even eat my way to this size - I didn't do a thing except have a health

problem -

one of those random things - and here I am. And I know life isn't fair, and I

know there are

people out there who have 'real' problems - but I can't help but feel that I

have to live with

the illness and its consequences do I really have to be stuck with 40 extra(for

now, what's

to stop it from going up?) pounds, too??

as you can see, I am the last person to advise about 'getting past' it, since I

clearly am not.

Ivy

>

> IV:

>

> Get out of my head! LOL! I don't know WHAT it is with you, but you

> and I must share brainwaves.

> We're even the same before and after sizes..LOL! Except 10 is

> creeping up on me. I honestly think that's the size my body " likes " .

>

> I can relate to the feeling that people will be relishing my weight

> gain. " What happened to her? " OMG! I have that image in my head daily.

>

> I've been feeling the exact same way you have. I think about how I

> used to look and how I look now and I get sad.

> My husband is just like yours. He doesn't care and he'd rather me be

> a happy size 10 or even a 12 if it means I stop hating myself and

> driving myself crazy.

>

> I feel guilty because I admit that I miss the " ease " of size 4/5.

> Yeah, if anyone saw me in a bathing suit they'd be sick and I looked

> grotesque, but man, could I rock clothes!

>

> What do you do? How do you get past it to that part that it doesn't

> matter?

>

>

[Guest guest]

Ivy, what has happened TO you is a big bummer. I can imagine you feel

so imposed upon. I think that is sort of what I too feel about my 40

'extra' pounds as well.

I am currently going thru a 'medical' change myself. I've had a 'deep

ache' in my leg off and on for over a month before I thru in the towel

and went to my doctor. I'm still in the 'checking it out' phase (MRI

in a couple of days) but I think our own dear Gillian is right -

Sciatica - DRAT! And as lousy as that is to hear, what bugs me more is

the knee-jerk medical reaction - loosing weight!

Wouldn't the medical profession be light years ahead to use more

personal understanding as much as they dispense drugs?!?

Back to you, there is NO WAY you are going to be what 'they' expect.

And maybe to give them credit, hopefully after they take in the visual

'change' of you they immediately remind themselves that YOU have not

changed and are in fact so happy to have you with them that appearance

is the least thing to think about. Love yourself and they will love

you too And if they don't - well hang with those that do :) We

here love ya!

>

> I can't even tell you the extent of what I really think and how I

feel - it all sounds so

> terrible even in my head, I cannot commit it to written words.

>

> I also know everyone else would read it and see it for the

foolishness it is - and that I

> know full well it is. But knowing doesn't change how I feel and how

it affects me. Knowing

> it also doesn't mean I know how to stop feeling that way.

>

> I don't think I can come to terms with the size I am now - not as

long as I dont' want to. I

> spent 45 years no bigger than a size 10 - and only got to this size

after steroids and

> illness. It does not feel like 'me' and I don't want it to.

>

> I didn't even eat my way to this size - I didn't do a thing except

have a health problem -

> one of those random things - and here I am. And I know life isn't

fair, and I know there are

> people out there who have 'real' problems - but I can't help but

feel that I have to live with

> the illness and its consequences do I really have to be stuck with

40 extra(for now, what's

> to stop it from going up?) pounds, too??

>

> as you can see, I am the last person to advise about 'getting past'

it, since I clearly am not.

>

> Ivy

[Guest guest]

Ivy, what has happened TO you is a big bummer. I can imagine you feel

so imposed upon. I think that is sort of what I too feel about my 40

'extra' pounds as well.

I am currently going thru a 'medical' change myself. I've had a 'deep

ache' in my leg off and on for over a month before I thru in the towel

and went to my doctor. I'm still in the 'checking it out' phase (MRI

in a couple of days) but I think our own dear Gillian is right -

Sciatica - DRAT! And as lousy as that is to hear, what bugs me more is

the knee-jerk medical reaction - loosing weight!

Wouldn't the medical profession be light years ahead to use more

personal understanding as much as they dispense drugs?!?

Back to you, there is NO WAY you are going to be what 'they' expect.

And maybe to give them credit, hopefully after they take in the visual

'change' of you they immediately remind themselves that YOU have not

changed and are in fact so happy to have you with them that appearance

is the least thing to think about. Love yourself and they will love

you too And if they don't - well hang with those that do :) We

here love ya!

>

> I can't even tell you the extent of what I really think and how I

feel - it all sounds so

> terrible even in my head, I cannot commit it to written words.

>

> I also know everyone else would read it and see it for the

foolishness it is - and that I

> know full well it is. But knowing doesn't change how I feel and how

it affects me. Knowing

> it also doesn't mean I know how to stop feeling that way.

>

> I don't think I can come to terms with the size I am now - not as

long as I dont' want to. I

> spent 45 years no bigger than a size 10 - and only got to this size

after steroids and

> illness. It does not feel like 'me' and I don't want it to.

>

> I didn't even eat my way to this size - I didn't do a thing except

have a health problem -

> one of those random things - and here I am. And I know life isn't

fair, and I know there are

> people out there who have 'real' problems - but I can't help but

feel that I have to live with

> the illness and its consequences do I really have to be stuck with

40 extra(for now, what's

> to stop it from going up?) pounds, too??

>

> as you can see, I am the last person to advise about 'getting past'

it, since I clearly am not.

>

> Ivy

[Guest guest]

Ivy, what has happened TO you is a big bummer. I can imagine you feel

so imposed upon. I think that is sort of what I too feel about my 40

'extra' pounds as well.

I am currently going thru a 'medical' change myself. I've had a 'deep

ache' in my leg off and on for over a month before I thru in the towel

and went to my doctor. I'm still in the 'checking it out' phase (MRI

in a couple of days) but I think our own dear Gillian is right -

Sciatica - DRAT! And as lousy as that is to hear, what bugs me more is

the knee-jerk medical reaction - loosing weight!

Wouldn't the medical profession be light years ahead to use more

personal understanding as much as they dispense drugs?!?

Back to you, there is NO WAY you are going to be what 'they' expect.

And maybe to give them credit, hopefully after they take in the visual

'change' of you they immediately remind themselves that YOU have not

changed and are in fact so happy to have you with them that appearance

is the least thing to think about. Love yourself and they will love

you too And if they don't - well hang with those that do :) We

here love ya!

>

> I can't even tell you the extent of what I really think and how I

feel - it all sounds so

> terrible even in my head, I cannot commit it to written words.

>

> I also know everyone else would read it and see it for the

foolishness it is - and that I

> know full well it is. But knowing doesn't change how I feel and how

it affects me. Knowing

> it also doesn't mean I know how to stop feeling that way.

>

> I don't think I can come to terms with the size I am now - not as

long as I dont' want to. I

> spent 45 years no bigger than a size 10 - and only got to this size

after steroids and

> illness. It does not feel like 'me' and I don't want it to.

>

> I didn't even eat my way to this size - I didn't do a thing except

have a health problem -

> one of those random things - and here I am. And I know life isn't

fair, and I know there are

> people out there who have 'real' problems - but I can't help but

feel that I have to live with

> the illness and its consequences do I really have to be stuck with

40 extra(for now, what's

> to stop it from going up?) pounds, too??

>

> as you can see, I am the last person to advise about 'getting past'

it, since I clearly am not.

>

> Ivy

[Guest guest]

The second (third?) of my various body pains began in my knee. I went to my

doctor about

it and to his credit he never once mentioned my weight. After an appointment or

two with

no answers, I asked about it. he shrugged and said he didn't think it had

anything to do

with it! Amazing, isn't he? Turns out, he was right. (eventual diagnosis -

adrenal

insufficiency. Not a thing to do with my knee or my weight.)

>

> Ivy, what has happened TO you is a big bummer. I can imagine you feel

> so imposed upon. I think that is sort of what I too feel about my 40

> 'extra' pounds as well.

>

> I am currently going thru a 'medical' change myself. I've had a 'deep

> ache' in my leg off and on for over a month before I thru in the towel

> and went to my doctor. I'm still in the 'checking it out' phase (MRI

> in a couple of days) but I think our own dear Gillian is right -

> Sciatica - DRAT! And as lousy as that is to hear, what bugs me more is

> the knee-jerk medical reaction - loosing weight!

>

> Wouldn't the medical profession be light years ahead to use more

> personal understanding as much as they dispense drugs?!?

>

> Back to you, there is NO WAY you are going to be what 'they' expect.

> And maybe to give them credit, hopefully after they take in the visual

> 'change' of you they immediately remind themselves that YOU have not

> changed and are in fact so happy to have you with them that appearance

> is the least thing to think about. Love yourself and they will love

> you too And if they don't - well hang with those that do :) We

> here love ya!

Well, yeah, this version of 'they' didn't love me all that much to begin with.

Some of them I

expect will actually take a bit of satisfaction at what has happened to me.

[Guest guest]

The second (third?) of my various body pains began in my knee. I went to my

doctor about

it and to his credit he never once mentioned my weight. After an appointment or

two with

no answers, I asked about it. he shrugged and said he didn't think it had

anything to do

with it! Amazing, isn't he? Turns out, he was right. (eventual diagnosis -

adrenal

insufficiency. Not a thing to do with my knee or my weight.)

>

> Ivy, what has happened TO you is a big bummer. I can imagine you feel

> so imposed upon. I think that is sort of what I too feel about my 40

> 'extra' pounds as well.

>

> I am currently going thru a 'medical' change myself. I've had a 'deep

> ache' in my leg off and on for over a month before I thru in the towel

> and went to my doctor. I'm still in the 'checking it out' phase (MRI

> in a couple of days) but I think our own dear Gillian is right -

> Sciatica - DRAT! And as lousy as that is to hear, what bugs me more is

> the knee-jerk medical reaction - loosing weight!

>

> Wouldn't the medical profession be light years ahead to use more

> personal understanding as much as they dispense drugs?!?

>

> Back to you, there is NO WAY you are going to be what 'they' expect.

> And maybe to give them credit, hopefully after they take in the visual

> 'change' of you they immediately remind themselves that YOU have not

> changed and are in fact so happy to have you with them that appearance

> is the least thing to think about. Love yourself and they will love

> you too And if they don't - well hang with those that do :) We

> here love ya!

Well, yeah, this version of 'they' didn't love me all that much to begin with.

Some of them I

expect will actually take a bit of satisfaction at what has happened to me.

[Guest guest]

The second (third?) of my various body pains began in my knee. I went to my

doctor about

it and to his credit he never once mentioned my weight. After an appointment or

two with

no answers, I asked about it. he shrugged and said he didn't think it had

anything to do

with it! Amazing, isn't he? Turns out, he was right. (eventual diagnosis -

adrenal

insufficiency. Not a thing to do with my knee or my weight.)

>

> Ivy, what has happened TO you is a big bummer. I can imagine you feel

> so imposed upon. I think that is sort of what I too feel about my 40

> 'extra' pounds as well.

>

> I am currently going thru a 'medical' change myself. I've had a 'deep

> ache' in my leg off and on for over a month before I thru in the towel

> and went to my doctor. I'm still in the 'checking it out' phase (MRI

> in a couple of days) but I think our own dear Gillian is right -

> Sciatica - DRAT! And as lousy as that is to hear, what bugs me more is

> the knee-jerk medical reaction - loosing weight!

>

> Wouldn't the medical profession be light years ahead to use more

> personal understanding as much as they dispense drugs?!?

>

> Back to you, there is NO WAY you are going to be what 'they' expect.

> And maybe to give them credit, hopefully after they take in the visual

> 'change' of you they immediately remind themselves that YOU have not

> changed and are in fact so happy to have you with them that appearance

> is the least thing to think about. Love yourself and they will love

> you too And if they don't - well hang with those that do :) We

> here love ya!

Well, yeah, this version of 'they' didn't love me all that much to begin with.

Some of them I

expect will actually take a bit of satisfaction at what has happened to me.

[Guest guest]

>

> I am currently going thru a 'medical' change myself. I've had a 'deep

> ache' in my leg off and on for over a month before I thru in the towel

> and went to my doctor. I'm still in the 'checking it out' phase (MRI

> in a couple of days) but I think our own dear Gillian is right -

> Sciatica - DRAT! And as lousy as that is to hear, what bugs me more is

> the knee-jerk medical reaction - loosing weight!

>

Sciatica is a bugger - very uncomfortable. I had it badly some time

back (to the point where I couldn't even *walk* for days on end), but

have been able to overcome it with physiotherapy and carefully managed

exercise and strength training. And no, I am no lighter now than I was

when I suffered from it - probably a few kgs heavier, actually - so

losing weight was not the solution, obviously. I even asked my physio

at the time whether I needed to lose weight to help with the problem,

and she said " No, you're fine, you're not overweight " .

Ah luvs mah physio.

s