Wish I'd read up on stress dosing. . .

[Guest guest]

Wish I'd seen this post last night. Didn't have a computer handy, but

maybe I'll get a laptop one day to travel with.

I went to the company holiday ball last night (12/8/06) and BOY do I wish

I'd passed. NEVER AGAIN. They put me up on the 15th floor; when I

called the girls who were staying with me to tell them where I was, I

told them I was on a " suicide floor. " I was in the Hyatt Regency in

downtown Houston crying upstairs while my two room mates were downstairs

having fun. I don't " belong, " I realized very quickly. They came up a

couple of times and pretty much ignored me, except when one wanted to

tell me that we didn't have to get up so early to leave in the am. The

other, who doesn't work with us, asked why I was upstairs in bed. I

said, " I don't go where I'm not wanted. " Her lame comment: " well, we

want you. " The other was too busy with the rum, I guess--I ignored both

of them.

Well, OK--one interesting thing did happen. When I was pulling into the

parking lot I saw a huge grille behind me. It was a tour bus with an SUV

on a trailer behind it. The SUV had a California plate on it. What was

painted on the whole tour bus? " Girls Gone Wild. " No kidding--they

really are in Houston this weekend staying at the Hyatt Regency downtown.

I told the concierge to put them on our floor to keep the nerds occupied.

Later I told my boss I was there to audition for the video. It was

intended to be funny, of course, but it was the only reason I smiled--to

make a joke. Otherwise I kept ducking into the bathroom so nobody would

see me crying. I left right after dessert and nobody noticed. I figured

it was the most discreet thing to do.

I was given the very distinct impression that, after buying a ticket,

making a new dress, purchasing appropriate lingerie (read: strapless bra

and waist-controlling corset) I was not welcome at all. I was assigned

to the wrong table, so I sat with the folks I was *supposed* to sit with.

When two other people came late, (there was a bad accident on the

freeway and a number of folks were late), someone made the comment that

" These are the people who are SUPPOSED to be seated here. " I asked if I

should move--this was halfway through dinner--and I was told, " oh, no,

you can stay. " Even the wait staff ignored me, and I made sure I said

" thank you " to every one of them. I'm usually fine by myself--I actually

went by myself and didn't think twice about it until dinner--but I've

never felt so alone in my life. After it was obvious that I wasn't

getting any coffee like everyone else at my table, I left. There is a

cafe downstairs that servers Starbucks and I got me a cup to read with.

Glad I brought a book to read--I figured I'd get there early and read

before the ball started.

There is an old saying among strippers: " Don't sh*t where you eat. " I

guarantee I will NEVER socialize with anyone from work ever again. EVER.

Under any circumstances. I never used to do that, and I started this

year. Bad year all the way around, and I will never do it again.

Really, I feel like sh*t; if I didn't have two spoiled fat cats with me,

I'd check out tonight for good. (Yes, it means what you think it means.)

Catmandu says that if I wasn't here to take care of them, they would be

all alone and have nobody. I wasted a to of time and some money (not too

much, I had roommates at the Hyatt, plus a rate) on an activity I was not

completely welcome to attend. I tried to call a couple of my Buddhist

friends of mine in Phoenix, but one is a nurse and was working; the other

was away from the phone. I don't expect to hear from either of them,

either. I was wishing I had 's phone number with me so I could

ask her about stress dosing! (I don't actually HAVE it, however, don't

panic.) Eventually the melatonin kicked in and I slept, although they

did continue to make noise in the room.

The one who works in my building rode home with me because the first one

had to leave at 7 or so. I said NOTHING the whole drive back to the

building. She tried to do the talking thing and I gave her one word

answers. I couldn't wait to get her huge butt and suitcases of crap out

of my car and leave. All I said to her was, " see you Monday. " I think I

heard " thank you, " but I'm not sure.

Soon as I call Sprint I'm having my phone number changed. I'm going to

make sure I'm left alone. My family's not getting it, either.

Well, anyway. . .

I gotta go wash clothes, clean the cat box and put out trash again. My

head hurts and I'm ready to sleep for a week. Unfortunately, I need to

make up my hours Monday and Tuesday so I can finish the week at 40 and

then get ready for the holiday break.

If anyone needs a break from everything, it's ME. My goal: no human

contact for ten days. I will try to have all the supplies I need to

survive and not go out at any point until January 2, when we go back to

work.

Later.

Amy the Redhead