Guest guest Posted May 29, 2009 Report Share Posted May 29, 2009 You might find it useful to visit YANA - You Are Not Alone Now www.yananow.net a site set up for newly diagnosed people. The first section gives some basic information in plain language with links to more complex and technical sites. Many people have found that the booklet “A Strange Place” has been helpful – that’s at http://www.yananow.net/StrangePlace/index.html The second section of the site is where men are invited to tell their prostate cancer stories and how they arrived at their decisions regarding treatment. Many people have mailed to say how useful they have found this, especially because most of the men are happy to respond to specific questions. The section of the site can be found by clicking the link labelled Experiences or going to http://www.yananow.net/Experiences.html There is a section dealing with the management of the disease, including some dietary hints at http://www.yananow.net/MyersManagement.htm there is also a section suggesting the questions that you should seek answers to before making any treatment decision at http://www.yananow.net/questions.htm All the best Terry Herbert I have no medical qualifications but I was diagnosed in ‘96: and have learned a bit since then. My sites are at www.yananow.net and www.prostatecancerwatchfulwaiting.co.za Dr “Snuffy” Myers : " As a physician, I am painfully aware that most of the decisions we make with regard to prostate cancer are made with inadequate data " From: ProstateCancerSupport [mailto:ProstateCancerSupport ] On Behalf Of Guy Sent: Friday, 29 May 2009 3:18 PM To: ProstateCancerSupport Subject: Is it worth it? As a new commer to this blog I of course have been diagnosed with Prostate Cancer. My Gleason score is 3+3=6 PSA 14.5 went up in a year from less then 1 which is why a biopsy was done. I have been told that I have a small score and small tumor so why is my doc pushing to yank my prostate by removing it. He doesn't do the surgery he is a urologist. My problem with this whole business is how is anyone's sex life after being neutered? Anyone willing to share their sexually ability after surgery would be really helpful. As I know there is absolutely no actual ejaculation when coming. I really can't imagine it feeling all that great. I have had times when I didn't come and no it didn't feel great just was good for my partner as I did last a very long time. Thanks for your thoughts, Guy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 29, 2009 Report Share Posted May 29, 2009 Guy wrote: > > As a new commer to this blog I of course have been diagnosed with Prostate > Cancer. My Gleason score is 3+3=6 PSA 14.5 went up in a year from less then 1 > which is why a biopsy was done. I have been told that I have a small score and > small tumor so why is my doc pushing to yank my prostate by removing it. He > doesn't do the surgery he is a urologist. > > My problem with this whole business is how is anyone's sex life after being > neutered? Anyone willing to share their sexually ability after surgery would be > really helpful. As I know there is absolutely no actual ejaculation when coming. > I really can't imagine it feeling all that great. I have had times when I didn't > come and no it didn't feel great just was good for my partner as I did last a > very long time. > > Thanks for your thoughts, > Guy Guy, There are two main questions to consider, what will happen to you if you get treatment, and what will happen to you if you don't. Your PSA has gone up very quickly. That may mean that you have an aggressive cancer that is growing very fast - though it's also possible that you have a small and insignificant cancer and your high PSA is caused by a prostate inflammation or infection. Your sex life will very likely be affected by treatment. You may become impotent, or you may not. You will likely see a decrease in ejaculate - though the sensation of orgasm may change less than you would think even though little or nothing comes out. Whether you continue to have a good sex life after treatment will really depend more on how you and your wife deal with it. You can actually have a very good and very satisfying sex life even if you are impotent - better than a whole lot of men who have all of their physical functioning intact but never think about their wife's pleasure, and their wives never think about their's. Surgery is not the only choice. Radiation is another possibility. If you do have a growing cancer, and if it does become life threatening, it will end your sex life permanently. Alan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 29, 2009 Report Share Posted May 29, 2009 Guy wrote: > > As a new commer to this blog I of course have been diagnosed with Prostate > Cancer. My Gleason score is 3+3=6 PSA 14.5 went up in a year from less then 1 > which is why a biopsy was done. I have been told that I have a small score and > small tumor so why is my doc pushing to yank my prostate by removing it. He > doesn't do the surgery he is a urologist. > > My problem with this whole business is how is anyone's sex life after being > neutered? Anyone willing to share their sexually ability after surgery would be > really helpful. As I know there is absolutely no actual ejaculation when coming. > I really can't imagine it feeling all that great. I have had times when I didn't > come and no it didn't feel great just was good for my partner as I did last a > very long time. > > Thanks for your thoughts, > Guy Guy, There are two main questions to consider, what will happen to you if you get treatment, and what will happen to you if you don't. Your PSA has gone up very quickly. That may mean that you have an aggressive cancer that is growing very fast - though it's also possible that you have a small and insignificant cancer and your high PSA is caused by a prostate inflammation or infection. Your sex life will very likely be affected by treatment. You may become impotent, or you may not. You will likely see a decrease in ejaculate - though the sensation of orgasm may change less than you would think even though little or nothing comes out. Whether you continue to have a good sex life after treatment will really depend more on how you and your wife deal with it. You can actually have a very good and very satisfying sex life even if you are impotent - better than a whole lot of men who have all of their physical functioning intact but never think about their wife's pleasure, and their wives never think about their's. Surgery is not the only choice. Radiation is another possibility. If you do have a growing cancer, and if it does become life threatening, it will end your sex life permanently. Alan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 29, 2009 Report Share Posted May 29, 2009 Guy wrote: > > As a new commer to this blog I of course have been diagnosed with Prostate > Cancer. My Gleason score is 3+3=6 PSA 14.5 went up in a year from less then 1 > which is why a biopsy was done. I have been told that I have a small score and > small tumor so why is my doc pushing to yank my prostate by removing it. He > doesn't do the surgery he is a urologist. > > My problem with this whole business is how is anyone's sex life after being > neutered? Anyone willing to share their sexually ability after surgery would be > really helpful. As I know there is absolutely no actual ejaculation when coming. > I really can't imagine it feeling all that great. I have had times when I didn't > come and no it didn't feel great just was good for my partner as I did last a > very long time. > > Thanks for your thoughts, > Guy Guy, There are two main questions to consider, what will happen to you if you get treatment, and what will happen to you if you don't. Your PSA has gone up very quickly. That may mean that you have an aggressive cancer that is growing very fast - though it's also possible that you have a small and insignificant cancer and your high PSA is caused by a prostate inflammation or infection. Your sex life will very likely be affected by treatment. You may become impotent, or you may not. You will likely see a decrease in ejaculate - though the sensation of orgasm may change less than you would think even though little or nothing comes out. Whether you continue to have a good sex life after treatment will really depend more on how you and your wife deal with it. You can actually have a very good and very satisfying sex life even if you are impotent - better than a whole lot of men who have all of their physical functioning intact but never think about their wife's pleasure, and their wives never think about their's. Surgery is not the only choice. Radiation is another possibility. If you do have a growing cancer, and if it does become life threatening, it will end your sex life permanently. Alan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 29, 2009 Report Share Posted May 29, 2009 Guy, Guy wrote: > > As a new commer to this blog I of course have been diagnosed with Prostate > Cancer. My Gleason score is 3+3=6 PSA 14.5 went up in a year from less then 1 > which is why a biopsy was done. I have been told that I have a small score and > small tumor so why is my doc pushing to yank my prostate by removing it. He > doesn't do the surgery he is a urologist. You did not share how many cores were taken, how many cores had cancer and what percentage of the cores has cancer. Let us know. > > My problem with this whole business is how is anyone's sex life after being > neutered? Anyone willing to share their sexually ability after surgery would be > really helpful.Having surgery and being " neutered " is not the same. Surgery will effect your ability to have an erection as well as your ability to ejaculate, but it does not neuter you. The extent of your inability to achieve erections is unknown and we are unable to predict it prior to the surgery. Some of us lose this ability completely while others never know we have any problem, these are the extremes. Most of us fall within these two extremes. My experience is that I am able to achieve erections adequate for vaginal penetration, if I had to put a percentage of my ability to achieve the hardness prior to surgery I would probably put it at about 60%, but still adequate to work. As to the concept of being neutered, even if you have a total inability to achieve an erection you still have all your sexual feelings that you had prior to surgery. Additionally, sex should include much more than just intercourse. No, surgery does not neuter you it just changes how you have sex. As I know there is absolutely no actual ejaculation when coming. > I really can't imagine it feeling all that great. I have had times when I didn't > come and no it didn't feel great just was good for my partner as I did last a > very long time. This is an individual and personal matter, some guys claim sex is better, my personal feeling is that it does negatively impact my feelings and I do very much miss being able to ejaculate, but it is not the end of the world. > > Thanks for your thoughts, Guy, find a support group near to where you live and meet other men who have had treatment and ask them how they have experienced both surgery and radiation. Speak to a lot of men prior to making any decisions. - Director, Advanced Prostate Cancer and Advocacy Programs for Malecare .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 29, 2009 Report Share Posted May 29, 2009 Guy, Guy wrote: > > As a new commer to this blog I of course have been diagnosed with Prostate > Cancer. My Gleason score is 3+3=6 PSA 14.5 went up in a year from less then 1 > which is why a biopsy was done. I have been told that I have a small score and > small tumor so why is my doc pushing to yank my prostate by removing it. He > doesn't do the surgery he is a urologist. You did not share how many cores were taken, how many cores had cancer and what percentage of the cores has cancer. Let us know. > > My problem with this whole business is how is anyone's sex life after being > neutered? Anyone willing to share their sexually ability after surgery would be > really helpful.Having surgery and being " neutered " is not the same. Surgery will effect your ability to have an erection as well as your ability to ejaculate, but it does not neuter you. The extent of your inability to achieve erections is unknown and we are unable to predict it prior to the surgery. Some of us lose this ability completely while others never know we have any problem, these are the extremes. Most of us fall within these two extremes. My experience is that I am able to achieve erections adequate for vaginal penetration, if I had to put a percentage of my ability to achieve the hardness prior to surgery I would probably put it at about 60%, but still adequate to work. As to the concept of being neutered, even if you have a total inability to achieve an erection you still have all your sexual feelings that you had prior to surgery. Additionally, sex should include much more than just intercourse. No, surgery does not neuter you it just changes how you have sex. As I know there is absolutely no actual ejaculation when coming. > I really can't imagine it feeling all that great. I have had times when I didn't > come and no it didn't feel great just was good for my partner as I did last a > very long time. This is an individual and personal matter, some guys claim sex is better, my personal feeling is that it does negatively impact my feelings and I do very much miss being able to ejaculate, but it is not the end of the world. > > Thanks for your thoughts, Guy, find a support group near to where you live and meet other men who have had treatment and ask them how they have experienced both surgery and radiation. Speak to a lot of men prior to making any decisions. - Director, Advanced Prostate Cancer and Advocacy Programs for Malecare .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 29, 2009 Report Share Posted May 29, 2009 Guy, Guy wrote: > > As a new commer to this blog I of course have been diagnosed with Prostate > Cancer. My Gleason score is 3+3=6 PSA 14.5 went up in a year from less then 1 > which is why a biopsy was done. I have been told that I have a small score and > small tumor so why is my doc pushing to yank my prostate by removing it. He > doesn't do the surgery he is a urologist. You did not share how many cores were taken, how many cores had cancer and what percentage of the cores has cancer. Let us know. > > My problem with this whole business is how is anyone's sex life after being > neutered? Anyone willing to share their sexually ability after surgery would be > really helpful.Having surgery and being " neutered " is not the same. Surgery will effect your ability to have an erection as well as your ability to ejaculate, but it does not neuter you. The extent of your inability to achieve erections is unknown and we are unable to predict it prior to the surgery. Some of us lose this ability completely while others never know we have any problem, these are the extremes. Most of us fall within these two extremes. My experience is that I am able to achieve erections adequate for vaginal penetration, if I had to put a percentage of my ability to achieve the hardness prior to surgery I would probably put it at about 60%, but still adequate to work. As to the concept of being neutered, even if you have a total inability to achieve an erection you still have all your sexual feelings that you had prior to surgery. Additionally, sex should include much more than just intercourse. No, surgery does not neuter you it just changes how you have sex. As I know there is absolutely no actual ejaculation when coming. > I really can't imagine it feeling all that great. I have had times when I didn't > come and no it didn't feel great just was good for my partner as I did last a > very long time. This is an individual and personal matter, some guys claim sex is better, my personal feeling is that it does negatively impact my feelings and I do very much miss being able to ejaculate, but it is not the end of the world. > > Thanks for your thoughts, Guy, find a support group near to where you live and meet other men who have had treatment and ask them how they have experienced both surgery and radiation. Speak to a lot of men prior to making any decisions. - Director, Advanced Prostate Cancer and Advocacy Programs for Malecare .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 29, 2009 Report Share Posted May 29, 2009 > As a new commer to this blog I of course have been diagnosed with > Prostate Cancer. My Gleason score is 3+3=6 PSA 14.5 went up in a > year from less then 1 which is why a biopsy was done. I have been > told that I have a small score and small tumor so why is my doc > pushing to yank my prostate by removing it. He doesn't do the > surgery he is a urologist. > > My problem with this whole business is how is anyone's sex life > after being neutered? Anyone willing to share their sexually > ability after surgery would be really helpful. As I know there is > absolutely no actual ejaculation when coming. I really can't > imagine it feeling all that great. I have had times when I didn't > come and no it didn't feel great just was good for my partner as I > did last a very long time. > > Thanks for your thoughts, > Guy > > They don't cut your nuts off, at least not right away, so you won't be neutered. You'll still have the same drive, just no outlet. LOL. I had 3/3 gleason and was projected T2b, turned out to be 3/4 gleason and T3a when the thing was out. I " m almost two years out and sweating out another PSA test, but so far they've been undetectable. Overall, it's looking like surgery was a good call, since I was only 50. They also took out the left nerve bundle with the prostate but I still have the right one. No usable erections for a year and a half, then got a solid one last Valentine's with Levitra. Improvement continues and I can do pretty good without any drugs, but I still tend to lose natural erections quickly. With a chemical helper I can get a really solid one, but it's very tough getting back up for round two (so far it's been impossible), when pre-surgery this was automatic. Climaxes are very intense and it feels like your prostate is still in there pumping away, but there is no ejaculate. Also, it's tough to gauge when you're getting ready to go off, so you might go before she's ready to blast off. That's a double problem for me, due to inability to get my barrel back into battery. I'm still getting improvements. One thing they minimize is the length issue. For me, this is a big mental issue, you can always get an implant if you can't get hard, but I'm actually down a full two inches from pre-surgery erection length. Girth ain't right either. My wife claims to like the reduction a lot. Wife is my one and only, so I have nothing to go by other than what she says, but she claims she never liked getting her cervix rearranged, anyway. But it's tough on my ego. The big question that comes up is how old are you? Ed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 29, 2009 Report Share Posted May 29, 2009 > As a new commer to this blog I of course have been diagnosed with > Prostate Cancer. My Gleason score is 3+3=6 PSA 14.5 went up in a > year from less then 1 which is why a biopsy was done. I have been > told that I have a small score and small tumor so why is my doc > pushing to yank my prostate by removing it. He doesn't do the > surgery he is a urologist. > > My problem with this whole business is how is anyone's sex life > after being neutered? Anyone willing to share their sexually > ability after surgery would be really helpful. As I know there is > absolutely no actual ejaculation when coming. I really can't > imagine it feeling all that great. I have had times when I didn't > come and no it didn't feel great just was good for my partner as I > did last a very long time. > > Thanks for your thoughts, > Guy > > They don't cut your nuts off, at least not right away, so you won't be neutered. You'll still have the same drive, just no outlet. LOL. I had 3/3 gleason and was projected T2b, turned out to be 3/4 gleason and T3a when the thing was out. I " m almost two years out and sweating out another PSA test, but so far they've been undetectable. Overall, it's looking like surgery was a good call, since I was only 50. They also took out the left nerve bundle with the prostate but I still have the right one. No usable erections for a year and a half, then got a solid one last Valentine's with Levitra. Improvement continues and I can do pretty good without any drugs, but I still tend to lose natural erections quickly. With a chemical helper I can get a really solid one, but it's very tough getting back up for round two (so far it's been impossible), when pre-surgery this was automatic. Climaxes are very intense and it feels like your prostate is still in there pumping away, but there is no ejaculate. Also, it's tough to gauge when you're getting ready to go off, so you might go before she's ready to blast off. That's a double problem for me, due to inability to get my barrel back into battery. I'm still getting improvements. One thing they minimize is the length issue. For me, this is a big mental issue, you can always get an implant if you can't get hard, but I'm actually down a full two inches from pre-surgery erection length. Girth ain't right either. My wife claims to like the reduction a lot. Wife is my one and only, so I have nothing to go by other than what she says, but she claims she never liked getting her cervix rearranged, anyway. But it's tough on my ego. The big question that comes up is how old are you? Ed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 29, 2009 Report Share Posted May 29, 2009 > As a new commer to this blog I of course have been diagnosed with > Prostate Cancer. My Gleason score is 3+3=6 PSA 14.5 went up in a > year from less then 1 which is why a biopsy was done. I have been > told that I have a small score and small tumor so why is my doc > pushing to yank my prostate by removing it. He doesn't do the > surgery he is a urologist. > > My problem with this whole business is how is anyone's sex life > after being neutered? Anyone willing to share their sexually > ability after surgery would be really helpful. As I know there is > absolutely no actual ejaculation when coming. I really can't > imagine it feeling all that great. I have had times when I didn't > come and no it didn't feel great just was good for my partner as I > did last a very long time. > > Thanks for your thoughts, > Guy > > They don't cut your nuts off, at least not right away, so you won't be neutered. You'll still have the same drive, just no outlet. LOL. I had 3/3 gleason and was projected T2b, turned out to be 3/4 gleason and T3a when the thing was out. I " m almost two years out and sweating out another PSA test, but so far they've been undetectable. Overall, it's looking like surgery was a good call, since I was only 50. They also took out the left nerve bundle with the prostate but I still have the right one. No usable erections for a year and a half, then got a solid one last Valentine's with Levitra. Improvement continues and I can do pretty good without any drugs, but I still tend to lose natural erections quickly. With a chemical helper I can get a really solid one, but it's very tough getting back up for round two (so far it's been impossible), when pre-surgery this was automatic. Climaxes are very intense and it feels like your prostate is still in there pumping away, but there is no ejaculate. Also, it's tough to gauge when you're getting ready to go off, so you might go before she's ready to blast off. That's a double problem for me, due to inability to get my barrel back into battery. I'm still getting improvements. One thing they minimize is the length issue. For me, this is a big mental issue, you can always get an implant if you can't get hard, but I'm actually down a full two inches from pre-surgery erection length. Girth ain't right either. My wife claims to like the reduction a lot. Wife is my one and only, so I have nothing to go by other than what she says, but she claims she never liked getting her cervix rearranged, anyway. But it's tough on my ego. The big question that comes up is how old are you? Ed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 30, 2009 Report Share Posted May 30, 2009 Guy -- It's not quite as bad as you're imagining. You're in shock (a state we've all been through). First, a one-year increase from 1 to 14.5 is a lot. It makes me wonder whether the '3+3' is right, or whether there's some higher-grade cancer cells that weren't found in the biopsy. How big is the " 3+3 " tumor? If it's small, " active surveillance " (used to be " watchful waiting " ) might be a reasonable thing to do. If it's big -- especially with the PSA=14.5 result -- you should probably do something about it. You don't have to rush into treatment; take some time to learn and think. Second, you have to distinguish between: .. . libido (sexual desire, which you keep after your prostate is removed); .. . ejaculation (fluid release during orgasm) (you lose that when your prostate is removed); .. . orgasm (involving both pelvic muscles and a complex 'brain event') (you keep that after your prostate is removed); .. . erection (you may or may not keep that, or recover it, with either therapy or radiation). Get a copy of " Saving Your Sex Life " , by Dr Jim Mulhall, and do some reading about both sex and choices for therapy. For general prostate cancer info, " Prostate Cancer: The Empowered Patient's Guide " , by Strum, is very good. Some recent studies are finding that brachytherapy (seed therapy) gets long-term " non-recurrence " results equal to surgery. It's less invasive than surgery, but sexuality takes a hit over the long run. My own situation, FWIW (men vary _a lot_ in their recoveries): Open radical prostatectomy in October 2007, both nerves spared. Now (about 18 months out) my libido is fine, my orgasms are fine. My erections have been great since I started using " intracavernosal injection therapy " (which should be a good Google search term). I have started to respond a little to Viagra -- still working on that. It hasn't been easy. One alternative was waiting around as my PSA increased, wondering when would be a good time to do something. Or having brachytherapy, and wondering whether all the cancer had been adequately irradiated. It's a bitchy disease. > > As a new commer to this blog I of course have been diagnosed with Prostate Cancer. My Gleason score is 3+3=6 PSA 14.5 went up in a year from less then 1 which is why a biopsy was done. I have been told that I have a small score and small tumor so why is my doc pushing to yank my prostate by removing it. He doesn't do the surgery he is a urologist. > > My problem with this whole business is how is anyone's sex life after being neutered? Anyone willing to share their sexually ability after surgery would be really helpful. As I know there is absolutely no actual ejaculation when coming. I really can't imagine it feeling all that great. I have had times when I didn't come and no it didn't feel great just was good for my partner as I did last a very long time. > > Thanks for your thoughts, > Guy > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 30, 2009 Report Share Posted May 30, 2009 Guy -- It's not quite as bad as you're imagining. You're in shock (a state we've all been through). First, a one-year increase from 1 to 14.5 is a lot. It makes me wonder whether the '3+3' is right, or whether there's some higher-grade cancer cells that weren't found in the biopsy. How big is the " 3+3 " tumor? If it's small, " active surveillance " (used to be " watchful waiting " ) might be a reasonable thing to do. If it's big -- especially with the PSA=14.5 result -- you should probably do something about it. You don't have to rush into treatment; take some time to learn and think. Second, you have to distinguish between: .. . libido (sexual desire, which you keep after your prostate is removed); .. . ejaculation (fluid release during orgasm) (you lose that when your prostate is removed); .. . orgasm (involving both pelvic muscles and a complex 'brain event') (you keep that after your prostate is removed); .. . erection (you may or may not keep that, or recover it, with either therapy or radiation). Get a copy of " Saving Your Sex Life " , by Dr Jim Mulhall, and do some reading about both sex and choices for therapy. For general prostate cancer info, " Prostate Cancer: The Empowered Patient's Guide " , by Strum, is very good. Some recent studies are finding that brachytherapy (seed therapy) gets long-term " non-recurrence " results equal to surgery. It's less invasive than surgery, but sexuality takes a hit over the long run. My own situation, FWIW (men vary _a lot_ in their recoveries): Open radical prostatectomy in October 2007, both nerves spared. Now (about 18 months out) my libido is fine, my orgasms are fine. My erections have been great since I started using " intracavernosal injection therapy " (which should be a good Google search term). I have started to respond a little to Viagra -- still working on that. It hasn't been easy. One alternative was waiting around as my PSA increased, wondering when would be a good time to do something. Or having brachytherapy, and wondering whether all the cancer had been adequately irradiated. It's a bitchy disease. > > As a new commer to this blog I of course have been diagnosed with Prostate Cancer. My Gleason score is 3+3=6 PSA 14.5 went up in a year from less then 1 which is why a biopsy was done. I have been told that I have a small score and small tumor so why is my doc pushing to yank my prostate by removing it. He doesn't do the surgery he is a urologist. > > My problem with this whole business is how is anyone's sex life after being neutered? Anyone willing to share their sexually ability after surgery would be really helpful. As I know there is absolutely no actual ejaculation when coming. I really can't imagine it feeling all that great. I have had times when I didn't come and no it didn't feel great just was good for my partner as I did last a very long time. > > Thanks for your thoughts, > Guy > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 30, 2009 Report Share Posted May 30, 2009 Guy -- It's not quite as bad as you're imagining. You're in shock (a state we've all been through). First, a one-year increase from 1 to 14.5 is a lot. It makes me wonder whether the '3+3' is right, or whether there's some higher-grade cancer cells that weren't found in the biopsy. How big is the " 3+3 " tumor? If it's small, " active surveillance " (used to be " watchful waiting " ) might be a reasonable thing to do. If it's big -- especially with the PSA=14.5 result -- you should probably do something about it. You don't have to rush into treatment; take some time to learn and think. Second, you have to distinguish between: .. . libido (sexual desire, which you keep after your prostate is removed); .. . ejaculation (fluid release during orgasm) (you lose that when your prostate is removed); .. . orgasm (involving both pelvic muscles and a complex 'brain event') (you keep that after your prostate is removed); .. . erection (you may or may not keep that, or recover it, with either therapy or radiation). Get a copy of " Saving Your Sex Life " , by Dr Jim Mulhall, and do some reading about both sex and choices for therapy. For general prostate cancer info, " Prostate Cancer: The Empowered Patient's Guide " , by Strum, is very good. Some recent studies are finding that brachytherapy (seed therapy) gets long-term " non-recurrence " results equal to surgery. It's less invasive than surgery, but sexuality takes a hit over the long run. My own situation, FWIW (men vary _a lot_ in their recoveries): Open radical prostatectomy in October 2007, both nerves spared. Now (about 18 months out) my libido is fine, my orgasms are fine. My erections have been great since I started using " intracavernosal injection therapy " (which should be a good Google search term). I have started to respond a little to Viagra -- still working on that. It hasn't been easy. One alternative was waiting around as my PSA increased, wondering when would be a good time to do something. Or having brachytherapy, and wondering whether all the cancer had been adequately irradiated. It's a bitchy disease. > > As a new commer to this blog I of course have been diagnosed with Prostate Cancer. My Gleason score is 3+3=6 PSA 14.5 went up in a year from less then 1 which is why a biopsy was done. I have been told that I have a small score and small tumor so why is my doc pushing to yank my prostate by removing it. He doesn't do the surgery he is a urologist. > > My problem with this whole business is how is anyone's sex life after being neutered? Anyone willing to share their sexually ability after surgery would be really helpful. As I know there is absolutely no actual ejaculation when coming. I really can't imagine it feeling all that great. I have had times when I didn't come and no it didn't feel great just was good for my partner as I did last a very long time. > > Thanks for your thoughts, > Guy > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 30, 2009 Report Share Posted May 30, 2009 Just remember you are dealing with cancer and for me I didn't want to take chances! I have to say my experience 11 days out has been better than I ever imagined! I know it is and will be different but want to be around as long as possible to enjoy life. Be careful about listen to negative experiences, if you have a good surgeon things are often much better than in the past! Try to hang, do know how hard this is, I can only say as I did in my post yesterday that I'm glad I did what I did, not happy I had to face it but know with time things will improve even more. Good luck to you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 30, 2009 Report Share Posted May 30, 2009 Just remember you are dealing with cancer and for me I didn't want to take chances! I have to say my experience 11 days out has been better than I ever imagined! I know it is and will be different but want to be around as long as possible to enjoy life. Be careful about listen to negative experiences, if you have a good surgeon things are often much better than in the past! Try to hang, do know how hard this is, I can only say as I did in my post yesterday that I'm glad I did what I did, not happy I had to face it but know with time things will improve even more. Good luck to you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 30, 2009 Report Share Posted May 30, 2009 Guy, I am sorry to hear of your diagnosis. My husband, Gregg was diagnosed a little over 2 1/2 years ago at the age of 57. His numbers were; PSA 4.9, Gleason 3+3 stage T1c with 2 cores out of 12 positive. We both got busy doing research. I did far more research than Gregg. We had about 3 weeks from diagnosis to the initial consult with Gregg's urologist. This doctor turned out to be a one of the enlightened doctors who did not push any particular treatment. We are Kaiser HMO members, so this doctor has nothing to gain by pushing surgery. He suggested that Gregg was a candidate for Active Surveillance. We reached the conclusion that all of today's FDA accepted treatments have virtually equal success rates, and the doctor confirmed this. Neither of us wanted Gregg to have his prostate removed. He is a very active man, who was actually more concerned about incontinence than impotence. I have an uncle who had his prostate cancer treated at Loma University Medical Center in southern CA. The treatment is a very accurate form of external beam radiation using protons. The more we learned about proton beam radiation therapy (PBRT) the more we leaned toward this treatment for Gregg. Gregg is now a little over two years out from treatment. He is fully continent and potent. His latest PSA came in at 1. He had 3 or 4 episodes of minor rectal bleeding during bowel movements starting about a year after treatment began, spread out over about a year. Two months ago he had a small amount of blood in his urine. Nothing since. The doctor checked that out as Gregg has also been treated for bladder cancer. The doctor could not find the source of the blood in his urine. He did say that type of symptom is not uncommon ot radiation patients. It was very likely a one time event. If you are interested in learning more about PBRT a good place to take a first look is at www.protonbob.com There you will find links to the 5 centers in the US which have proton equipment. There is a yahoo group by the name of protoninfo. If you have questions for me, I will do my best. Laurel > > As a new commer to this blog I of course have been diagnosed with Prostate Cancer. My Gleason score is 3+3=6 PSA 14.5 went up in a year from less then 1 which is why a biopsy was done. I have been told that I have a small score and small tumor so why is my doc pushing to yank my prostate by removing it. He doesn't do the surgery he is a urologist. > > My problem with this whole business is how is anyone's sex life after being neutered? Anyone willing to share their sexually ability after surgery would be really helpful. As I know there is absolutely no actual ejaculation when coming. I really can't imagine it feeling all that great. I have had times when I didn't come and no it didn't feel great just was good for my partner as I did last a very long time. > > Thanks for your thoughts, > Guy > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 30, 2009 Report Share Posted May 30, 2009 Guy, I am sorry to hear of your diagnosis. My husband, Gregg was diagnosed a little over 2 1/2 years ago at the age of 57. His numbers were; PSA 4.9, Gleason 3+3 stage T1c with 2 cores out of 12 positive. We both got busy doing research. I did far more research than Gregg. We had about 3 weeks from diagnosis to the initial consult with Gregg's urologist. This doctor turned out to be a one of the enlightened doctors who did not push any particular treatment. We are Kaiser HMO members, so this doctor has nothing to gain by pushing surgery. He suggested that Gregg was a candidate for Active Surveillance. We reached the conclusion that all of today's FDA accepted treatments have virtually equal success rates, and the doctor confirmed this. Neither of us wanted Gregg to have his prostate removed. He is a very active man, who was actually more concerned about incontinence than impotence. I have an uncle who had his prostate cancer treated at Loma University Medical Center in southern CA. The treatment is a very accurate form of external beam radiation using protons. The more we learned about proton beam radiation therapy (PBRT) the more we leaned toward this treatment for Gregg. Gregg is now a little over two years out from treatment. He is fully continent and potent. His latest PSA came in at 1. He had 3 or 4 episodes of minor rectal bleeding during bowel movements starting about a year after treatment began, spread out over about a year. Two months ago he had a small amount of blood in his urine. Nothing since. The doctor checked that out as Gregg has also been treated for bladder cancer. The doctor could not find the source of the blood in his urine. He did say that type of symptom is not uncommon ot radiation patients. It was very likely a one time event. If you are interested in learning more about PBRT a good place to take a first look is at www.protonbob.com There you will find links to the 5 centers in the US which have proton equipment. There is a yahoo group by the name of protoninfo. If you have questions for me, I will do my best. Laurel > > As a new commer to this blog I of course have been diagnosed with Prostate Cancer. My Gleason score is 3+3=6 PSA 14.5 went up in a year from less then 1 which is why a biopsy was done. I have been told that I have a small score and small tumor so why is my doc pushing to yank my prostate by removing it. He doesn't do the surgery he is a urologist. > > My problem with this whole business is how is anyone's sex life after being neutered? Anyone willing to share their sexually ability after surgery would be really helpful. As I know there is absolutely no actual ejaculation when coming. I really can't imagine it feeling all that great. I have had times when I didn't come and no it didn't feel great just was good for my partner as I did last a very long time. > > Thanks for your thoughts, > Guy > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 1, 2009 Report Share Posted June 1, 2009 how does sex include more than intercourse ? I find your answers are very informative in the long run To: ProstateCancerSupport From: tnowak@...Date: Fri, 29 May 2009 12:51:11 -0400Subject: Re: Is it worth it? Guy, On Fri, May 29, 2009 at 11:48 AM, Alan Meyer <ameyer2> wrote: Guy <guy373comcast (DOT) net> wrote:> > As a new commer to this blog I of course have been diagnosed with Prostate > Cancer. My Gleason score is 3+3=6 PSA 14.5 went up in a year from less then 1 > which is why a biopsy was done. I have been told that I have a small score and > small tumor so why is my doc pushing to yank my prostate by removing it. He > doesn't do the surgery he is a urologist. You did not share how many cores were taken, how many cores had cancer and what percentage of the cores has cancer. Let us know. > > My problem with this whole business is how is anyone's sex life after being > neutered? Anyone willing to share their sexually ability after surgery would be > really helpful.Having surgery and being "neutered" is not the same. Surgery will effect your ability to have an erection as well as your ability to ejaculate, but it does not neuter you. The extent of your inability to achieve erections is unknown and we are unable to predict it prior to the surgery. Some of us lose this ability completely while others never know we have any problem, these are the extremes. Most of us fall within these two extremes. My experience is that I am able to achieve erections adequate for vaginal penetration, if I had to put a percentage of my ability to achieve the hardness prior to surgery I would probably put it at about 60%, but still adequate to work. As to the concept of being neutered, even if you have a total inability to achieve an erection you still have all your sexual feelings that you had prior to surgery. Additionally, sex should include much more than just intercourse. No, surgery does not neuter you it just changes how you have sex. As I know there is absolutely no actual ejaculation when coming. > I really can't imagine it feeling all that great. I have had times when I didn't > come and no it didn't feel great just was good for my partner as I did last a > very long time. This is an individual and personal matter, some guys claim sex is better, my personal feeling is that it does negatively impact my feelings and I do very much miss being able to ejaculate, but it is not the end of the world. > > Thanks for your thoughts, Guy, find a support group near to where you live and meet other men who have had treatment and ask them how they have experienced both surgery and radiation. Speak to a lot of men prior to making any decisions. - Director, Advanced Prostate Cancer and Advocacy Programs for Malecare .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 1, 2009 Report Share Posted June 1, 2009 how does sex include more than intercourse ? I find your answers are very informative in the long run To: ProstateCancerSupport From: tnowak@...Date: Fri, 29 May 2009 12:51:11 -0400Subject: Re: Is it worth it? Guy, On Fri, May 29, 2009 at 11:48 AM, Alan Meyer <ameyer2> wrote: Guy <guy373comcast (DOT) net> wrote:> > As a new commer to this blog I of course have been diagnosed with Prostate > Cancer. My Gleason score is 3+3=6 PSA 14.5 went up in a year from less then 1 > which is why a biopsy was done. I have been told that I have a small score and > small tumor so why is my doc pushing to yank my prostate by removing it. He > doesn't do the surgery he is a urologist. You did not share how many cores were taken, how many cores had cancer and what percentage of the cores has cancer. Let us know. > > My problem with this whole business is how is anyone's sex life after being > neutered? Anyone willing to share their sexually ability after surgery would be > really helpful.Having surgery and being "neutered" is not the same. Surgery will effect your ability to have an erection as well as your ability to ejaculate, but it does not neuter you. The extent of your inability to achieve erections is unknown and we are unable to predict it prior to the surgery. Some of us lose this ability completely while others never know we have any problem, these are the extremes. Most of us fall within these two extremes. My experience is that I am able to achieve erections adequate for vaginal penetration, if I had to put a percentage of my ability to achieve the hardness prior to surgery I would probably put it at about 60%, but still adequate to work. As to the concept of being neutered, even if you have a total inability to achieve an erection you still have all your sexual feelings that you had prior to surgery. Additionally, sex should include much more than just intercourse. No, surgery does not neuter you it just changes how you have sex. As I know there is absolutely no actual ejaculation when coming. > I really can't imagine it feeling all that great. I have had times when I didn't > come and no it didn't feel great just was good for my partner as I did last a > very long time. This is an individual and personal matter, some guys claim sex is better, my personal feeling is that it does negatively impact my feelings and I do very much miss being able to ejaculate, but it is not the end of the world. > > Thanks for your thoughts, Guy, find a support group near to where you live and meet other men who have had treatment and ask them how they have experienced both surgery and radiation. Speak to a lot of men prior to making any decisions. - Director, Advanced Prostate Cancer and Advocacy Programs for Malecare .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 1, 2009 Report Share Posted June 1, 2009 Dugger wrote: > how does sex include more than intercourse? The very question Bill Clinton asked, or at least implied, when accused of " having sex " with Lewinsky The answer, of course, is that oral and manual sex are also included by many people as part of their relationships. Alan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 1, 2009 Report Share Posted June 1, 2009 Dugger wrote: > how does sex include more than intercourse? The very question Bill Clinton asked, or at least implied, when accused of " having sex " with Lewinsky The answer, of course, is that oral and manual sex are also included by many people as part of their relationships. Alan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 1, 2009 Report Share Posted June 1, 2009 Maybe I'm in the minority... I was treated at RCOG in Georgia - seed implant and then radiation on top of it almost 5 years ago..... I don't have this issue. Erections are less than they were (gee, I'm getting older) Erections are a little less hard many times (gee, I'm getting older) but I still have the drive and still ejaculate (minimal amount of fluid but it still happens) But as others have said, WHY is your Doctor only recommending surgery? (and go to RCOG web site and look and / or call them) Just, Bob > > As a new commer to this blog I of course have been diagnosed with Prostate Cancer. My Gleason score is 3+3=6 PSA 14.5 went up in a year from less then 1 which is why a biopsy was done. I have been told that I have a small score and small tumor so why is my doc pushing to yank my prostate by removing it. He doesn't do the surgery he is a urologist. > > My problem with this whole business is how is anyone's sex life after being neutered? Anyone willing to share their sexually ability after surgery would be really helpful. As I know there is absolutely no actual ejaculation when coming. I really can't imagine it feeling all that great. I have had times when I didn't come and no it didn't feel great just was good for my partner as I did last a very long time. > > Thanks for your thoughts, > Guy > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 1, 2009 Report Share Posted June 1, 2009 Any " sex manual " will have extensive discussions. See (for example): " Guide to Getting It On " --6th Edition -- by Psy.D. Joannides and Daerick Gross Sr. That book was recommended to me (in a lecture) shortly before my surgery. It's nice to know that what used to be " perversions " are now just " variations " . Especially nice, when intercourse is difficult or impossible. -- > > > how does sex include more than intercourse? > > The very question Bill Clinton asked, or at least implied, when > accused of " having sex " with Lewinsky > > The answer, of course, is that oral and manual sex are also > included by many people as part of their relationships. > > Alan > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 1, 2009 Report Share Posted June 1, 2009 Any " sex manual " will have extensive discussions. See (for example): " Guide to Getting It On " --6th Edition -- by Psy.D. Joannides and Daerick Gross Sr. That book was recommended to me (in a lecture) shortly before my surgery. It's nice to know that what used to be " perversions " are now just " variations " . Especially nice, when intercourse is difficult or impossible. -- > > > how does sex include more than intercourse? > > The very question Bill Clinton asked, or at least implied, when > accused of " having sex " with Lewinsky > > The answer, of course, is that oral and manual sex are also > included by many people as part of their relationships. > > Alan > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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