Out of ideas

[Guest guest]

My father, 80, diagnosed for only about 8 or 9 months now, spends most of the

end of every day wondering where his wife is. She is, of course, there with

him. They live together in a small home in a retirement neighborhood, about 15

miles away from us. Mom is back to having to give me a call several evenings a

week, to confirm with Dad that she is, in fact, his wife, and they will stay the

night there in their home. I used to pray with him on the phone, that settled

him down for a month or two. Then I typed up a simple explanation for him, with

his doc's name and photo, that worked for a few weeks. Much of the time, mom

just encourages him to go to bed without her and he will sometimes cooperate,

fall asleep, and the evening's dilemma is over. He still recognizes me and

always knows my voice. But, Mom, he says, could not possibly be who she says

she is.

I'm out of ideas. I do now caution him not to allow himself to get too angry

and NOT to be nasty to " that lady " -who, I remind him, is his wife, whether he

recognizes her or not.

Mom is very patient and redirects, cajoles, and even scolds when necessary. Any

other ideas, folks? thanks...