Guest guest Posted March 27, 2012 Report Share Posted March 27, 2012 I have been where your mother is. She needs some time out nearly every day. Contact the Office for Aging in your county or area and find out what is available. I used to send my husband to adult day care to get some relief from it-one day a week. He had Lewy Body Dementia but the Alzheimers Assoc. helped with the cost. Also we lived in a rural area and we had Volunteer Transportation for the trip to town for day care. Three days a week home health aides came to care for him for 2 hours and I would go to my friend's for coffee. Just such a relief to get away from it. Medicare paid for the health aides. My kids (3) would help out when they could-take him for rides and outings. If they are sleeping during the night, that is a miracle. I bet not. That was the problem for me, I couldn't get rest at night so I had no patience during the day. I wish you all the luck. It is not easy for anyone in the entire family-except for the ones who don't step up-it will tough for them later when its too late. Leona: Caregiver for husband Ray, age 68, diagnosed 2/04 with Parkinson's Disease. Changed doctors, diagnosed 6/06 with LBD. Almost continual downhill slide no matter what drugs we try. 5/2/08 Ray was placed in Sunrise Nursing Home in Oswego, NY, 1 hour from home. So far, so good! Hardest thing I have ever done in my life, however. 3/19/09 transferred to Samaritan Keep NH in Watertown, NY closer to home. He passed peacefully at 5:18 am on April 14, 2009. I am handling it OK. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2012 Report Share Posted March 27, 2012 Hi, Sorry to hear about your dad, but what he has sounds like " Capgras Syndrome. " Your dad says: " Mom, he says, could not possibly be who she says she is. " Many with LBD have Capgras (pronounced, Cap graw) rhymes with; Mardigras. My husband passed away, but he also had LBD and Capgras Syndrome. It is when your spouse, house, or any object is an imposter of itself. Your mom looks like your mom, but she isn't to him. There is a way to break it at that moment. A person in this group's mother didn't recognize her and the mother kept calling for her daughter and the daughter said, I AM YOUR DAUGHTER, but that didn't work, so the daughter walked to the other side of the bed and the mother said, " Oh, I've been looking for you! " Your Mom will have to step out of the room for a moment and return shortly and he should recognize her when she returns when that starts to happen. My husband and I would go for rides and when we returned to the house, he would not recognize it to get out of the car. I would drive to the end of the block and back and then he would recognize it. You have to leave for a moment and return and then it is broken. My husband did not think I was me and would not let me in the bathroom to help him. I had to know where the treasure was burried to enter the room and I could not answer correctly, so I was banned to enter. Leaving for a moment and returning breaks the spell. Have your mom try that and hopefully it works for her. Jan Colello Husband, Jim, dx w/LBD 2003 Deceased, January, 2011 ________________________________ To: LBDcaregivers Sent: Monday, March 26, 2012 7:58 PM Subject: Out of ideas My father, 80, diagnosed for only about 8 or 9 months now, spends most of the end of every day wondering where his wife is. She is, of course, there with him. They live together in a small home in a retirement neighborhood, about 15 miles away from us. Mom is back to having to give me a call several evenings a week, to confirm with Dad that she is, in fact, his wife, and they will stay the night there in their home. I used to pray with him on the phone, that settled him down for a month or two. Then I typed up a simple explanation for him, with his doc's name and photo, that worked for a few weeks. Much of the time, mom just encourages him to go to bed without her and he will sometimes cooperate, fall asleep, and the evening's dilemma is over. He still recognizes me and always knows my voice. But, Mom, he says, could not possibly be who she says she is. I'm out of ideas. I do now caution him not to allow himself to get too angry and NOT to be nasty to " that lady " -who, I remind him, is his wife, whether he recognizes her or not. Mom is very patient and redirects, cajoles, and even scolds when necessary. Any other ideas, folks? thanks... ------------------------------------ Welcome to LBDcaregivers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2012 Report Share Posted March 27, 2012 Hi, Sorry to hear about your dad, but what he has sounds like " Capgras Syndrome. " Your dad says: " Mom, he says, could not possibly be who she says she is. " Many with LBD have Capgras (pronounced, Cap graw) rhymes with; Mardigras. My husband passed away, but he also had LBD and Capgras Syndrome. It is when your spouse, house, or any object is an imposter of itself. Your mom looks like your mom, but she isn't to him. There is a way to break it at that moment. A person in this group's mother didn't recognize her and the mother kept calling for her daughter and the daughter said, I AM YOUR DAUGHTER, but that didn't work, so the daughter walked to the other side of the bed and the mother said, " Oh, I've been looking for you! " Your Mom will have to step out of the room for a moment and return shortly and he should recognize her when she returns when that starts to happen. My husband and I would go for rides and when we returned to the house, he would not recognize it to get out of the car. I would drive to the end of the block and back and then he would recognize it. You have to leave for a moment and return and then it is broken. My husband did not think I was me and would not let me in the bathroom to help him. I had to know where the treasure was burried to enter the room and I could not answer correctly, so I was banned to enter. Leaving for a moment and returning breaks the spell. Have your mom try that and hopefully it works for her. Jan Colello Husband, Jim, dx w/LBD 2003 Deceased, January, 2011 ________________________________ To: LBDcaregivers Sent: Monday, March 26, 2012 7:58 PM Subject: Out of ideas My father, 80, diagnosed for only about 8 or 9 months now, spends most of the end of every day wondering where his wife is. She is, of course, there with him. They live together in a small home in a retirement neighborhood, about 15 miles away from us. Mom is back to having to give me a call several evenings a week, to confirm with Dad that she is, in fact, his wife, and they will stay the night there in their home. I used to pray with him on the phone, that settled him down for a month or two. Then I typed up a simple explanation for him, with his doc's name and photo, that worked for a few weeks. Much of the time, mom just encourages him to go to bed without her and he will sometimes cooperate, fall asleep, and the evening's dilemma is over. He still recognizes me and always knows my voice. But, Mom, he says, could not possibly be who she says she is. I'm out of ideas. I do now caution him not to allow himself to get too angry and NOT to be nasty to " that lady " -who, I remind him, is his wife, whether he recognizes her or not. Mom is very patient and redirects, cajoles, and even scolds when necessary. Any other ideas, folks? thanks... ------------------------------------ Welcome to LBDcaregivers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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