Frustration - back and forth

[Guest guest]

Hi Everyone,

I'm frustrated right now. I forget that this is a back-and-forth

process and that progress is slow. I forget to remind myself that I

don't have to be perfect. But yesterday I had the first day in over a

year where I ate foods all day that made me feel better. I tend to

eat a ton of sugar, which, while intellectually I know shouldn't have

any more power over my thoughts than a carrot stick, when I eat too

much sugar (like all day long), I feel lethargic and down. And I've

done that all day today and I feel just that way. I am making a

choice to make split pea soup and chili this evening... they are two

of my favorite dishes and they will last a while in the freezer. I

just wish this process was more linear and easier than it is.

However, it's amazing that I ate strawberries, pineapple, soup,

cottage cheese, and regular cheese and felt so much better physically

at the end of the day. And I didn't feel deprived until last night at

1 am, when I began eating raw brownie batter and then I ate it all day

today and now I just feel like s**t. But I don't have to wait until

tomorrow to eat something that I know will please me, I can make my

mom's chili tonight (and have a nice reminder of my mom that hopefully

won't send me spinning into a crying jag. I think it will be OK.)

Thanks for listening. I'm grateful you are here.

Eileen