Guest guest Posted July 18, 2012 Report Share Posted July 18, 2012 In response to your request, mouse, I offer this suggestion. I would tell her it is help for you, not her. If you place the focus on you rather than her, she will feel she is doing something for you. This is how we did it with my Dad who recently passed away and had LBD. Now, my Mom is showing signs of Alzheimer's, so I am using the same tactics on her, but she is not aware of them. Mothers want to help their children, so if you place the focus on help for you and not her, she will probably be more agreeable. Many prayers, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 18, 2012 Report Share Posted July 18, 2012 In response to your request, mouse, I offer this suggestion. I would tell her it is help for you, not her. If you place the focus on you rather than her, she will feel she is doing something for you. This is how we did it with my Dad who recently passed away and had LBD. Now, my Mom is showing signs of Alzheimer's, so I am using the same tactics on her, but she is not aware of them. Mothers want to help their children, so if you place the focus on help for you and not her, she will probably be more agreeable. Many prayers, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 18, 2012 Report Share Posted July 18, 2012 In response to your request, mouse, I offer this suggestion. I would tell her it is help for you, not her. If you place the focus on you rather than her, she will feel she is doing something for you. This is how we did it with my Dad who recently passed away and had LBD. Now, my Mom is showing signs of Alzheimer's, so I am using the same tactics on her, but she is not aware of them. Mothers want to help their children, so if you place the focus on help for you and not her, she will probably be more agreeable. Many prayers, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 18, 2012 Report Share Posted July 18, 2012 Sometimes, rehab won't let a patient go home unless things are in place (such as 24/7 care) for her safety. One of the questions they should ask is whether anyone will be with her 24/7. For stubborn parents, subterfuge is sometimes necessary. In the early days, we had an aide for Mom coming in 3 times a week. We told Mom she was there to help with housekeeping and would also help with Mom's exercises. It worked, until Mom needed a lot more and then we got her involved in a senior day(care) center so that I could work for the day. With my grandmother and the need to have someone around her at night, we convinced her to rent out a room in the house to a young teacher. (Small town, so housing for new teachers wasn't easy to find). Pete not only was there for when Grandma fell, he was companionship (became almost a grandson) in the evenings, safety at night, and he kept an eye on some of the more dangerous parts of the house, subtly following Grandma around and turning off burners and the oven, faucets, etc. Grandma only figured he was in the kitchen so often because he was a big guy and needed feeding. Subterfuge - a caregiver's best friend, when it works. Kate > ** > > > Hi, > > My mom is currently in rehab and is due to come home next week. She is > refusing 24/7 care because she doesn't want to feel " watched " all the time > and have someone she doesn't know in the house overnight. I live with her, > so I can compromise on the overnite piece, but she wants to be home first > before she makes up her mind. Every time we discuss this she doesn't want > " to be rushed " . I can't do this alone. Any suggestions on getting her to > agree to some homecare before she comes home. I'm afraid once she's home > with just me she won't want anyone else but me - that's not realistic or > fair. > > > -- Kate Knapp UMN - OIT * " What's past is prologue. " The Tempest, W.S.* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 28, 2012 Report Share Posted July 28, 2012 Hi , thanks for the suggestion that I tell her its for me not her. The staff at rehab did that, in addition to telling her she needed to go along with their plans to get VNA services. I agreed to split the coverage of 24 hr care with a caregiver for 12 hours. We had to discuss this 2 or 3 more times because the first agency we chose did not deliver. During a subsequent conversation when she was yelling at me, I yelled back, " I can't do this alone. I have to get ready for school. " She said she'd spend the money for me, not her.... Thanks... for the suggestion. Sorry it took me so long to get back to you. Hope your mom is doing ok, and that you and the family are ok too Heddy > > In response to your request, mouse, I offer this suggestion. I would tell her it is help for you, not her. If you place the focus on you rather than her, she will feel she is doing something for you. This is how we did it with my Dad who recently passed away and had LBD. > > Now, my Mom is showing signs of Alzheimer's, so I am using the same tactics on her, but she is not aware of them. Mothers want to help their children, so if you place the focus on help for you and not her, she will probably be more agreeable. Many prayers, > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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