Weighing and Weight Confusion?

[Guest guest]

Yesterday I was really struggling with wanting to weigh myself. I've

used the scale for so long as a tool of my worth. I no longer own a

scale but know many tricky ways I could accomplish this task without

owning one (which I said Id never do). To me, that I know I can go

to Bed Bath & Beyond, Linens and Things, Walmart or Target and pull

down a sample to measure myself is proof of my diseases cunning

baffling and powerful nature.

In another group, they were sharing their weight loss or gain and I

felt left out. Suddenly I recognized all of the progress Id made

without the scale! Ive started a small vegetable garden, gave myself

a pedicure, drew a really strong boundary with my parents and meant

it this time!, went to my cousins house and working on a relationship

with her, spoke to my aunt about the family history and working on a

relationship with her too! I could go on and on and on because now I

can see all of the positive changes in my life since Ive stopped

measuring my worth on the scale!

The most definite improvement was that I am now considering entering

a film contest with my BF so I can enjoy and experience the part of

myself I miss from art school. I drew my sons portrait this weekend

and made some paper dolls too. Formerly, I felt as though I had to

get to the perfect weight to be able to enjoy and participate in

these things. Now I recognize the sick thinking and am grateful that

I cannot weigh myself.

When I went to the meeting last night, I approached two girls who

were obviously developing a fast friendship. Rather than expect them

to come petition me to join their group and then silently resenting

them when they did not, I joined in myself and they were so happy and

encouraging! I loved it! I showed them my toe nails and temporary

tatoo! They were supportive and loving! One of them said, " You look

like youve lost weight. " and my mood mustve immediately dropped

because she started apologizing profusely.

Since I am powerless over others and I know she had no ill will

toward me, how do I handle this? Does anyone have any suggestions?

I do not understand why I was so sensitive about it! It was a

positive thing for goodness sake! I just want to get over it already!

Im really trying to focus on the positive spin of this episode but it

isnt working (I am making progress in my IE by letting go of my need

to control my food) Well, I did feel better when I typed that but

then a voice said, " You dont know that for sure because you arent

weighing yourself! " ARG!

I give up! I give up! I give up!

UNCLE.

Thanks

M