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The Cheater

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After reading some of the great posts yesterday, I had some

interesting insight in the shower this morning.

My entire " dieting " history (age 12-37) can best be described as my

Head being just as unfaithful to my Body as a cheating wife/husband.

Time and time again my Head would tell my Body, " You dont really

understand the way things are. This is new and real. Your signals

and cues are off. I dont need to be spending more time with you and

building a relationship with you. I can best understand you by

spending more time with these friends (my diets aka LOVERS) You make

me sick. You arent perfect. These are! "

Each time my Head would make promises to my Body that would

understandably become lies. " This it it! This time I mean it. I know

all of those times before were just leading up to this. This time

Ive got it under control. Its going to be so good, Honey. Just wait

and see. I promise! Just go along with this and we will be happy. "

Ive been trying to eat intuitively for almost 6 months and Id say

maybe really " getting it " in a deeper awareness for about a day of

it. HA HA None the less, I can tell that my Body is beginning to get

smaller. I wont get on the scale because my Head falls in love with

that too. For today my Head is really admitting to my Body " I was

wrong and I dont know. "

My Body is still recovering from the trauma. My Body doesnt trust my

head and is waiting for the slightest provocation to rebel. My Body

has been the suffering wife/husband through the Heads many

infidelities. I guess its just going to take some time to rebuild

the trust and really believe that this time the Head is really

committed to a relationship with the Body.

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Excellent post, I can definitely relate to what you are saying about

trust issues and making justifications, I have found myself doing

that many times. This time around I am trying to impose no rules on

my intuitive eating therefore there is nothing for me to cheat on, no

rules to break. If I find I eat for reasons other then intuitive

ones then 'Oh well I ate for reasons other then intuitive ones' and I

try to move on. It is not always simple, I have the arguments in my

head that I am not worthy but I am fighting them and moving on. It is

a slow process but I am telling myself I am worth it...yes I am

(sorry I just needed to reinforce that thought...LOL)

Take care and thank you for your insights.

>

> After reading some of the great posts yesterday, I had some

> interesting insight in the shower this morning.

>

> My entire " dieting " history (age 12-37) can best be described as my

> Head being just as unfaithful to my Body as a cheating

wife/husband.

>

> Time and time again my Head would tell my Body, " You dont really

> understand the way things are. This is new and real. Your signals

> and cues are off. I dont need to be spending more time with you

and

> building a relationship with you. I can best understand you by

> spending more time with these friends (my diets aka LOVERS) You

make

> me sick. You arent perfect. These are! "

>

> Each time my Head would make promises to my Body that would

> understandably become lies. " This it it! This time I mean it. I

know

> all of those times before were just leading up to this. This time

> Ive got it under control. Its going to be so good, Honey. Just

wait

> and see. I promise! Just go along with this and we will be happy. "

>

> Ive been trying to eat intuitively for almost 6 months and Id say

> maybe really " getting it " in a deeper awareness for about a day of

> it. HA HA None the less, I can tell that my Body is beginning to

get

> smaller. I wont get on the scale because my Head falls in love

with

> that too. For today my Head is really admitting to my Body " I was

> wrong and I dont know. "

>

> My Body is still recovering from the trauma. My Body doesnt trust

my

> head and is waiting for the slightest provocation to rebel. My

Body

> has been the suffering wife/husband through the Heads many

> infidelities. I guess its just going to take some time to rebuild

> the trust and really believe that this time the Head is really

> committed to a relationship with the Body.

>

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