Guest guest Posted May 12, 2007 Report Share Posted May 12, 2007 Raising kids is some job!!! Bless you, you strong woman, for raising four of them!!!! You are so brave!!!! I apologize. I shouldnt have called my family of origin " food addicts " since they do not call themselves that. I was wrong to do that. I, however, am a food addict and see some of their behaviors that make me suspicious. My sons and I have been alone for the past eight years and I, an obsessive dieter and food addict/food obsessor, have really tried to atleast keep myself on my side of the street when it came to food in my own home. My parents would shame and guilt my sisters and I for eating any birthday cake or other treats so it really " set the whole situation up " for a spirit of neglect and deprivation. Initially, in my sickness, I tried to control my childrens food when they reached adolescence under the premise of nutrion and health. Then my conscience stepped in and I decided that I couldnt manage my own so I would take them for regular check ups and let the doctor handle their health and not I, who cant even handle my own. My eldest son got pretty chubby in middle school. I was really worried and asked the doctor about it (concerned he'd inhereted Moms issues). The doctor told me that my son was " storing weight " for a growth spurt most probably since thats what most kids do. He packs on some fat to nuture and feed his body when it experiences a sudden growth spurt. I really thought about that. If Id only known that was what my body was doing when I was in middle and high school! ARG!!!! Anyway, I just made healthy food available, worked on myself (still doing so) and made sure whenever I was exhibiting food indiscretions I took ownership of them (hoarding, sneaking, controlling my food and trying to control others food) I apologize to them with no rationalizations and let them discover their own body. I am so happy to report that both of my sons are a healthy weight. I am SO glad that I let the doctors handle their body and kept my sick head out of it. Second guessing God??!! Who do I think I am??!! As a matter of fact, my eldest son is now almost 18 years old and is 6'3 " tall!!!! No wonder he was packing on the pounds! He was storing up for the growth spurt. He grew atleast a foot a year for a while there. My youngest son will get a belly and then stretch it out in a much more subtle way (hes 14 now and 5'7 " so far) but Im pretty sure hes going to loom above me just like my eldest does. (I am only a good 5'5 " ) What i finally had to ask myself was why I was trying to control their weight? Was I afraid they would " over-power " me? They loom above me now! Size is such a subtle assertive measure and I am sensitive to any boundary violations b/e of my family of origin. Sometimes its that I want them to leave some food for me. So if I have to, I buy each one of us a container of whatever it is that is sure to cause issues and often it takes a good couple of months for it to get gone once we all have our own supply. Often, we dont even eat it. Sometimes, I end up giving them my supply b/c without the fear of it being taken away or stolen I no longer want it. Weird, huh? I am so proud of them!!!!! And it happened when I let their BODIES decide what they needed. I only share my strength hope and experience when I am asked. Trying to control food is how I got in my mess. I dont want to teach them that insanity! I want to help them unlearn what Ive already " infected " them with!!!!!! My sons have helped me remember more about intuitive eating than I could ever teach them in a lifetime by releasing my judgement and allowing them to honor their body. As a side note, I did find myself intimidated with their size. They are still growing emotionally and learning to control themselves. Its kind of a joke between us now (at first not so light hearted) They loom over me and look down on me when we disagree and say, " I'm taller than you!!! " To which I reply, " Only on the outside! " Hope it helps. Its alot of hard work!!!!! Keep it up!!!! Sorry to ramble so long. This has been a really worry for me too. Just want to offer my experience. Maybe it will help? Thanks for your post! > My youngest has been getting a little chubby and I worry that he's eating too much. He wants to eat whenever anyone else is eating and I'm afraid that he's not in touch with his own hunger signals. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 12, 2007 Report Share Posted May 12, 2007 Raising kids is some job!!! Bless you, you strong woman, for raising four of them!!!! You are so brave!!!! I apologize. I shouldnt have called my family of origin " food addicts " since they do not call themselves that. I was wrong to do that. I, however, am a food addict and see some of their behaviors that make me suspicious. My sons and I have been alone for the past eight years and I, an obsessive dieter and food addict/food obsessor, have really tried to atleast keep myself on my side of the street when it came to food in my own home. My parents would shame and guilt my sisters and I for eating any birthday cake or other treats so it really " set the whole situation up " for a spirit of neglect and deprivation. Initially, in my sickness, I tried to control my childrens food when they reached adolescence under the premise of nutrion and health. Then my conscience stepped in and I decided that I couldnt manage my own so I would take them for regular check ups and let the doctor handle their health and not I, who cant even handle my own. My eldest son got pretty chubby in middle school. I was really worried and asked the doctor about it (concerned he'd inhereted Moms issues). The doctor told me that my son was " storing weight " for a growth spurt most probably since thats what most kids do. He packs on some fat to nuture and feed his body when it experiences a sudden growth spurt. I really thought about that. If Id only known that was what my body was doing when I was in middle and high school! ARG!!!! Anyway, I just made healthy food available, worked on myself (still doing so) and made sure whenever I was exhibiting food indiscretions I took ownership of them (hoarding, sneaking, controlling my food and trying to control others food) I apologize to them with no rationalizations and let them discover their own body. I am so happy to report that both of my sons are a healthy weight. I am SO glad that I let the doctors handle their body and kept my sick head out of it. Second guessing God??!! Who do I think I am??!! As a matter of fact, my eldest son is now almost 18 years old and is 6'3 " tall!!!! No wonder he was packing on the pounds! He was storing up for the growth spurt. He grew atleast a foot a year for a while there. My youngest son will get a belly and then stretch it out in a much more subtle way (hes 14 now and 5'7 " so far) but Im pretty sure hes going to loom above me just like my eldest does. (I am only a good 5'5 " ) What i finally had to ask myself was why I was trying to control their weight? Was I afraid they would " over-power " me? They loom above me now! Size is such a subtle assertive measure and I am sensitive to any boundary violations b/e of my family of origin. Sometimes its that I want them to leave some food for me. So if I have to, I buy each one of us a container of whatever it is that is sure to cause issues and often it takes a good couple of months for it to get gone once we all have our own supply. Often, we dont even eat it. Sometimes, I end up giving them my supply b/c without the fear of it being taken away or stolen I no longer want it. Weird, huh? I am so proud of them!!!!! And it happened when I let their BODIES decide what they needed. I only share my strength hope and experience when I am asked. Trying to control food is how I got in my mess. I dont want to teach them that insanity! I want to help them unlearn what Ive already " infected " them with!!!!!! My sons have helped me remember more about intuitive eating than I could ever teach them in a lifetime by releasing my judgement and allowing them to honor their body. As a side note, I did find myself intimidated with their size. They are still growing emotionally and learning to control themselves. Its kind of a joke between us now (at first not so light hearted) They loom over me and look down on me when we disagree and say, " I'm taller than you!!! " To which I reply, " Only on the outside! " Hope it helps. Its alot of hard work!!!!! Keep it up!!!! Sorry to ramble so long. This has been a really worry for me too. Just want to offer my experience. Maybe it will help? Thanks for your post! > My youngest has been getting a little chubby and I worry that he's eating too much. He wants to eat whenever anyone else is eating and I'm afraid that he's not in touch with his own hunger signals. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 12, 2007 Report Share Posted May 12, 2007 Raising kids is some job!!! Bless you, you strong woman, for raising four of them!!!! You are so brave!!!! I apologize. I shouldnt have called my family of origin " food addicts " since they do not call themselves that. I was wrong to do that. I, however, am a food addict and see some of their behaviors that make me suspicious. My sons and I have been alone for the past eight years and I, an obsessive dieter and food addict/food obsessor, have really tried to atleast keep myself on my side of the street when it came to food in my own home. My parents would shame and guilt my sisters and I for eating any birthday cake or other treats so it really " set the whole situation up " for a spirit of neglect and deprivation. Initially, in my sickness, I tried to control my childrens food when they reached adolescence under the premise of nutrion and health. Then my conscience stepped in and I decided that I couldnt manage my own so I would take them for regular check ups and let the doctor handle their health and not I, who cant even handle my own. My eldest son got pretty chubby in middle school. I was really worried and asked the doctor about it (concerned he'd inhereted Moms issues). The doctor told me that my son was " storing weight " for a growth spurt most probably since thats what most kids do. He packs on some fat to nuture and feed his body when it experiences a sudden growth spurt. I really thought about that. If Id only known that was what my body was doing when I was in middle and high school! ARG!!!! Anyway, I just made healthy food available, worked on myself (still doing so) and made sure whenever I was exhibiting food indiscretions I took ownership of them (hoarding, sneaking, controlling my food and trying to control others food) I apologize to them with no rationalizations and let them discover their own body. I am so happy to report that both of my sons are a healthy weight. I am SO glad that I let the doctors handle their body and kept my sick head out of it. Second guessing God??!! Who do I think I am??!! As a matter of fact, my eldest son is now almost 18 years old and is 6'3 " tall!!!! No wonder he was packing on the pounds! He was storing up for the growth spurt. He grew atleast a foot a year for a while there. My youngest son will get a belly and then stretch it out in a much more subtle way (hes 14 now and 5'7 " so far) but Im pretty sure hes going to loom above me just like my eldest does. (I am only a good 5'5 " ) What i finally had to ask myself was why I was trying to control their weight? Was I afraid they would " over-power " me? They loom above me now! Size is such a subtle assertive measure and I am sensitive to any boundary violations b/e of my family of origin. Sometimes its that I want them to leave some food for me. So if I have to, I buy each one of us a container of whatever it is that is sure to cause issues and often it takes a good couple of months for it to get gone once we all have our own supply. Often, we dont even eat it. Sometimes, I end up giving them my supply b/c without the fear of it being taken away or stolen I no longer want it. Weird, huh? I am so proud of them!!!!! And it happened when I let their BODIES decide what they needed. I only share my strength hope and experience when I am asked. Trying to control food is how I got in my mess. I dont want to teach them that insanity! I want to help them unlearn what Ive already " infected " them with!!!!!! My sons have helped me remember more about intuitive eating than I could ever teach them in a lifetime by releasing my judgement and allowing them to honor their body. As a side note, I did find myself intimidated with their size. They are still growing emotionally and learning to control themselves. Its kind of a joke between us now (at first not so light hearted) They loom over me and look down on me when we disagree and say, " I'm taller than you!!! " To which I reply, " Only on the outside! " Hope it helps. Its alot of hard work!!!!! Keep it up!!!! Sorry to ramble so long. This has been a really worry for me too. Just want to offer my experience. Maybe it will help? Thanks for your post! > My youngest has been getting a little chubby and I worry that he's eating too much. He wants to eat whenever anyone else is eating and I'm afraid that he's not in touch with his own hunger signals. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 12, 2007 Report Share Posted May 12, 2007 I am going to save this post and refer to it quite often. You hit on so many things that are effecting me in raising my girls. This was so wonderful, mature and insightful. Thank you so much! allie Ready for the edge of your seat? Check out tonight's top picks on Yahoo! TV. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 12, 2007 Report Share Posted May 12, 2007 I am going to save this post and refer to it quite often. You hit on so many things that are effecting me in raising my girls. This was so wonderful, mature and insightful. Thank you so much! allie Ready for the edge of your seat? Check out tonight's top picks on Yahoo! TV. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 12, 2007 Report Share Posted May 12, 2007 I am going to save this post and refer to it quite often. You hit on so many things that are effecting me in raising my girls. This was so wonderful, mature and insightful. Thank you so much! allie Ready for the edge of your seat? Check out tonight's top picks on Yahoo! TV. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 12, 2007 Report Share Posted May 12, 2007 Thank you Allie! Wow....I guess all of my mistakes dont seem so crappy to me when I can help someone else by sharing my experience. So THANK YOU! Kids are naturally in tune with their bodies. I feed anyone's toddler I can lately. I want the free tutorial!!!! They just enjoy it without emotional attachment. Its pure hunger, exploration and play. When they have had enough of it, they will surely let you know in no uncertain terms. To me, thats what I want. I want to be there again. I am eternally grateful to my sons. In so many ways, they are raising me by helping me remember all of the things my sickness has made me forget. For instance, your joke about the 94% fat free popcorn. I know exactly what you mean!!!! I >gagged< when I read that! They would never eat salted cardboard the way we did! They know its crap. Thank you for the reply. Im so glad we are on this journey together. > > I am going to save this post and refer to it quite often. You hit on so many things that are effecting me in raising my girls. This was so wonderful, mature and insightful. > > Thank you so much! > > > allie > --------------------------------- > Ready for the edge of your seat? Check out tonight's top picks on Yahoo! TV. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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