Re: Family Food Police and positive voices

[Guest guest]

You know what? A lot of parents actually "teach" their children things such as fat=bad, black people=not like us, etc... I believe your nephew may have overheard someone talking negatively about your weight. The next time, if I were you, I would ask him where he "heard" you were fat and why he thinks this. My mom went through the same thing a while back when her small cousins (ages 8 & 9) asked her why she was fat. She boldly asked them: "Who told you I was fat?" They were so taken aback and later admitted their father had mentioned it on more than one occasion. I wish you all the best and hope that your neice and nephew can engage in some kind of dialogue with you about how hurtful their comments about how you look make you feel, etc. Children are very smart - if you are open and honest with them, they may just learn something that will help them in their lives later

on. Good luck! Emmaliselarson wrote: Last Xmas I spent the holidays w/ my family. My nephew, who is 4, told me I am fat. On the same visit my niece (she is 5) asked me why I was fat and then asked me if I liked being fat. I was completely shattered. The first moment I got alone I was in tears. I resolved like most of the people to diet (low carb) in the new year and join a gym. Also like most people, I lasted about 2

days in both endeavors. I have been struggling with binge eating for most of my life but managed to stay thin (thru various diets and starvation) until around 15 years ago. Now at 41 I find my binge eating completely out of control but unable to face another diet.This weekend I saw the same nephew. He told me his mother was skinnier than I was. I have been reading my IE book for a couple of weeks and kept using my nurturing voice. I echoed over and over again that, "I am a work in progress." Then I got home and saw the pictures from the weekend...I am freaking out. I don't know quite how I got to this size. I am almost panic stricken by these photos. I have so far to go. I often feel I'll never get there.I have been trying (and mostly succeeding) in breaking the diet mentality and finding peace with food. Finding the positive voices when I need them and pracitcing conscious eating is proving more difficult. Am I

just eating myself silly and rationalizing w/ these voices? Am I being too impatient and thinking in black and white instead of grey?

Finding fabulous fares is fun.Let Yahoo! FareChase search your favorite travel sites to find flight and hotel bargains.

[Guest guest]

Okay that's the worst. I agree with Emma that they've heard it

somewhere. And you need to confront that. It's not okay for you OR

for him. First of all you are a work in progress and if you're doing

IE, some of your work will have to be around RELEASING THE DIET

MENTALITY AND THE FALSITY THAT A DIET WILL DO IT FOR YOU. That was a

hard one for me. It was like letting go of a life raft.

I'm sorry about that honey.....that's crappy and the fact that he's

done it more than once makes you want to kick him in the shin LOL

>

> Last Xmas I spent the holidays w/ my family. My nephew, who is 4,

> told me I am fat. On the same visit my niece (she is 5) asked me

> why I was fat and then asked me if I liked being fat. I was

> completely shattered. The first moment I got alone I was in tears.

> I resolved like most of the people to diet (low carb) in the new

> year and join a gym. Also like most people, I lasted about 2 days

> in both endeavors. I have been struggling with binge eating for

> most of my life but managed to stay thin (thru various diets and

> starvation) until around 15 years ago. Now at 41 I find my binge

> eating completely out of control but unable to face another diet.

> This weekend I saw the same nephew. He told me his mother was

> skinnier than I was. I have been reading my IE book for a couple of

> weeks and kept using my nurturing voice. I echoed over and over

> again that, " I am a work in progress. " Then I got home and saw the

> pictures from the weekend...I am freaking out. I don't know quite

> how I got to this size. I am almost panic stricken by these

> photos. I have so far to go. I often feel I'll never get there.

> I have been trying (and mostly succeeding) in breaking the diet

> mentality and finding peace with food. Finding the positive voices

> when I need them and pracitcing conscious eating is proving more

> difficult. Am I just eating myself silly and rationalizing w/ these

> voices? Am I being too impatient and thinking in black and white

> instead of grey?

>

[Guest guest]

Okay that's the worst. I agree with Emma that they've heard it

somewhere. And you need to confront that. It's not okay for you OR

for him. First of all you are a work in progress and if you're doing

IE, some of your work will have to be around RELEASING THE DIET

MENTALITY AND THE FALSITY THAT A DIET WILL DO IT FOR YOU. That was a

hard one for me. It was like letting go of a life raft.

I'm sorry about that honey.....that's crappy and the fact that he's

done it more than once makes you want to kick him in the shin LOL

>

> Last Xmas I spent the holidays w/ my family. My nephew, who is 4,

> told me I am fat. On the same visit my niece (she is 5) asked me

> why I was fat and then asked me if I liked being fat. I was

> completely shattered. The first moment I got alone I was in tears.

> I resolved like most of the people to diet (low carb) in the new

> year and join a gym. Also like most people, I lasted about 2 days

> in both endeavors. I have been struggling with binge eating for

> most of my life but managed to stay thin (thru various diets and

> starvation) until around 15 years ago. Now at 41 I find my binge

> eating completely out of control but unable to face another diet.

> This weekend I saw the same nephew. He told me his mother was

> skinnier than I was. I have been reading my IE book for a couple of

> weeks and kept using my nurturing voice. I echoed over and over

> again that, " I am a work in progress. " Then I got home and saw the

> pictures from the weekend...I am freaking out. I don't know quite

> how I got to this size. I am almost panic stricken by these

> photos. I have so far to go. I often feel I'll never get there.

> I have been trying (and mostly succeeding) in breaking the diet

> mentality and finding peace with food. Finding the positive voices

> when I need them and pracitcing conscious eating is proving more

> difficult. Am I just eating myself silly and rationalizing w/ these

> voices? Am I being too impatient and thinking in black and white

> instead of grey?

>

[Guest guest]

I know. What a little stinker! My whole family is completely weight conscious. My sister (the little guy's mother) was bulimic and our mother enlisted her in weight watchers when she was 11 or something crazy like that. My other sister has considered lipo amongst other options to deal w/ unwanted pounds. When I told my mother about reading IE she said, "Hmmm, I'm glad you found something that makes sense to you. I don't agree with it but..." Sheesh. I mean it' s not like I'm obese or anything life threatening either. Writing about this, I realize now why I get so nervous every time I go home and possibly why I live hundreds of miles away... I think I've done really well with doing away w/ diet mentality though. I have not started a diet since I began practicing IE--just a few weeks but still a good sign I think. I am probably up a few pounds but,

I have noticed that I'm bingeing a lot less. I eat what I want when I want it. Next step: becoming aware of how I'm eating and why. Thanks so much for the encouragement Vivian and Emma. It means more than you know...vivianclc wrote: Okay that's the worst. I agree with Emma that they've heard itsomewhere. And you need to confront that. It's not okay for you ORfor him. First

of all you are a work in progress and if you're doingIE, some of your work will have to be around RELEASING THE DIETMENTALITY AND THE FALSITY THAT A DIET WILL DO IT FOR YOU. That was ahard one for me. It was like letting go of a life raft. I'm sorry about that honey.....that's crappy and the fact that he'sdone it more than once makes you want to kick him in the shin LOL >> Last Xmas I spent the holidays w/ my family. My nephew, who is 4, > told me I am fat. On the same visit my niece (she is 5) asked me > why I was fat and then asked me if I liked being fat. I was > completely shattered. The first moment I got alone I was in tears. > I resolved like most of the people to diet (low carb) in the new > year and join a

gym. Also like most people, I lasted about 2 days > in both endeavors. I have been struggling with binge eating for > most of my life but managed to stay thin (thru various diets and > starvation) until around 15 years ago. Now at 41 I find my binge > eating completely out of control but unable to face another diet.> This weekend I saw the same nephew. He told me his mother was > skinnier than I was. I have been reading my IE book for a couple of > weeks and kept using my nurturing voice. I echoed over and over > again that, "I am a work in progress." Then I got home and saw the > pictures from the weekend...I am freaking out. I don't know quite > how I got to this size. I am almost panic stricken by these > photos. I have so far to go. I often feel I'll never get there.> I have been trying (and mostly succeeding) in breaking the diet > mentality and finding peace with food. Finding

the positive voices > when I need them and pracitcing conscious eating is proving more > difficult. Am I just eating myself silly and rationalizing w/ these > voices? Am I being too impatient and thinking in black and white > instead of grey?>

Pinpoint customers who are looking for what you sell.

[Guest guest]

I have been so busy this week, I apologize for not being on the

boards more often but WHOA!!!!!

I didnt even read all the responses to this post and felt compelled

to respond.

Kids just act out what they are experiencing and being taught in

their own lives. Of course, there is natural curiousity and question

asking. (parenthetically I remember when my son asked me if my fat

thighs were muscles when he was 5 or 6) Your nephew and niece sound

like they are comfortable with their judgemental appraisals of fat

(bad) and thin (good). I also find it strangely curious the way they

have compared their Mother to you. I suspect they have listened to

these kind of discussions at length, maybe in the car on the way home

with their parents?

I think the real victim here is the children. What kind of message

is that sending them? and definitely setting them up for eating

disorders! You have a real opportunity to share your strength hope

and experience with your niece and nephew. Its sounds like they

could use a " real " adult to think of their needs instead of being

self involved and self absorbed with their own. Your niece and

nephew are going to need the information you share with them when

their own bodies experience change and adjustment during puberty

(when most eating disorders occur).

Im glad you have the time and space to seek support and encouragement

for this situation and to see it for what it really is, an

OPPORTUNITY to share KNOWLEDGE and TRUTH with your loved ones (who

knows maybe they will share it with their parents when they are using

their body size to feel superior or inferior). I'd point out to my

neice and nephew that bodies come in all shapes and sizes and that

its no measure of success or failure. Id tell them that you

understand they didnt realize but just so they know for later that

its impolite to judge people on their body but its ok because they

are learning now. Id also share with them the many stars and famous

people who have large and small bodies. (Kids need evidence) If they

protest and seem stuck in their judgements, Id simply say, Well,its

just something to think about. Regardless, I dont feel comfortable

with you talking to me like that.

My eating disorder has kept me resisting making behavioral changes

like calling my boundaries with my mouth for years....YEARS! Yet,

that was my eating disorder and now I have support and encouragement

from my programs and message boards. When and if you are fighting

with yourself over saying these things to your niece and nephew,

remember they do not have these resources available to them. Your

weight may save them from the same fate or worse.

Plus.....It is RUDE! They need to know that. A community raises

children. Besides Ive seen that its often easier to call boundaries

with children first and then try with adults because children are

much more receptive to what is intuitively truthful. If youre like

me, then adults have said things just as hurtful but in much more

subtle ways. Now, I feel that more often I have the self esteem and

self love to call my boundaries openly. I see that no matter what

plan of eating I use, intuitive eating or whatever, its not going to

get better until I start using my mouth to call boundaries instead of

using my body for things it cannot do.

I might even express concern to their Mother about it. She needs to

know that this kind of mentality sets children up for eating

disorders later in life. Food, weight and body DO NOT have the power

to make us good, bad, powerful, successful or superior. Thats simply

sick thinking! I should know because I wasted years of my life in

it. YEARS!

I wouldnt spend my time justifying my weight, food and body issues

with people who do not understand. They might be thinner than you,

but they sound sicker! No offense. I think its important to point

this out. When we are overweight, we always assume that its worse

and morally deficient somehow. Thats a fallacy! You dont need to

explain your eating disorder. I think the family is doing that

wonderfully with their inappropriate behavior.

Telling someone how, when, where, why, and what to eat is like

telling someone how, when, where, why and what to have sex!

Im sorry to get so upset. It really irks me! That was SO wrong in

SO many levels!!!!!!

You are beautiful. You are loveable. You are a gift to this earth.

You were born for a very special purpose. ))))))

Go get em!

>

> Last Xmas I spent the holidays w/ my family. My nephew, who is 4,

> told me I am fat. On the same visit my niece (she is 5) asked me

> why I was fat and then asked me if I liked being fat. I was

> completely shattered. The first moment I got alone I was in

tears.

> I resolved like most of the people to diet (low carb) in the new

> year and join a gym. Also like most people, I lasted about 2 days

> in both endeavors. I have been struggling with binge eating for

> most of my life but managed to stay thin (thru various diets and

> starvation) until around 15 years ago. Now at 41 I find my binge

> eating completely out of control but unable to face another diet.

> This weekend I saw the same nephew. He told me his mother was

> skinnier than I was. I have been reading my IE book for a couple

of

> weeks and kept using my nurturing voice. I echoed over and over

> again that, " I am a work in progress. " Then I got home and saw the

> pictures from the weekend...I am freaking out. I don't know quite

> how I got to this size. I am almost panic stricken by these

> photos. I have so far to go. I often feel I'll never get there.

> I have been trying (and mostly succeeding) in breaking the diet

> mentality and finding peace with food. Finding the positive voices

> when I need them and pracitcing conscious eating is proving more

> difficult. Am I just eating myself silly and rationalizing w/

these

> voices? Am I being too impatient and thinking in black and white

> instead of grey?

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks. I'm going to keep on keepin on with IE. So far it's the longest I've stuck with anything to do with nutrition/diet/non-diet/health. Writing about it yesterday really did make me realize how bizarre my family is about dieting and body image. Think I've found a good place to be...carvermldz wrote: Lise -Wow, you could be writing my life w/family! I have disordered eating on both sides of my family - mom's are all compulsive overeaters built on the voluptuous

scale, dad's are all bulemic & anorexic. I never knew what IE was 'cause I never saw "normal" eating from anyone! So, I can relate to some of what you say when you mentioned feeling like you did. I have to agree with Emma and Vivian - your nephew was totally out of line and if you can gently educate him, maybe he will think twice before making comments to anyone else - or you!You can SO do this. It really is about accepting yourself, honoring your hunger and never depriving yourself of anything ever again. I just can't believe how brainwashed I was that there was something wrong with ME because I "failed" every attempt at dieting and weight loss. The new perspective I have from IE must be working, because I've had three people in the last week tell me I look more relaxed and calm. Just take things one step at a time and come here often for support and love - we're all working together.Peace &

Blessings,MLC

Got a little couch potato?

Check out fun summer activities for kids.

[Guest guest]

--Thanks so much for the post. I'm really beginning to see how warped the whole family situation is through these boards. (Can't believe I haven't seen it sooner to tell the truth.) The fact that everyone feels like they can make comments to me about my weight or about my weight to others has always been ok for me for some bizarre reason. You're right. It is not for them to say. We do come in all shapes and sizes. I actually told one of my sisters (in tears after my nephew made a fat comment) last time I was home how great everyone thinks I am where I live and work. Almost begging her to see that too. It's sad when I think about it. It's not ok for a 5 year old to make me feel like crap about myself. Did you see the post I did about telling my mum about IE? She was just totally dismissive. Even after I told her how much sense it makes to me. I don't need anyone else's approval and

the shame I feel when going home to visit is proof that it's not good for me or my self-esteem. I'm sure this comes off as rant about my family. The odd part about this whole thing is that we all get along great. We're very close and we all tend to use humor to deal with the hard stuff. I do love them all dearly--even my rascal of a nephew! Sometimes it's hard to see that your family is not always the best thing for you to be around. Thanks for listening. -Lise wrote: I have been so busy this week, I apologize for not being on the boards more often but WHOA!!!!!I didnt even read all the responses to this post and felt compelled to respond.Kids just act out what they are experiencing and being taught in their own lives. Of course, there is natural curiousity and question asking. (parenthetically I remember when my son asked me if my fat thighs were muscles when he was 5 or 6) Your nephew and niece sound like they are comfortable with their judgemental appraisals of fat (bad) and thin (good). I also find it strangely curious the way they have compared their Mother to you. I suspect they have listened to these kind of discussions at length, maybe in the car on the way home with their parents?I think the real victim here is the children. What kind of message is that sending them? and definitely setting them up

for eating disorders! You have a real opportunity to share your strength hope and experience with your niece and nephew. Its sounds like they could use a "real" adult to think of their needs instead of being self involved and self absorbed with their own. Your niece and nephew are going to need the information you share with them when their own bodies experience change and adjustment during puberty (when most eating disorders occur).Im glad you have the time and space to seek support and encouragement for this situation and to see it for what it really is, an OPPORTUNITY to share KNOWLEDGE and TRUTH with your loved ones (who knows maybe they will share it with their parents when they are using their body size to feel superior or inferior). I'd point out to my neice and nephew that bodies come in all shapes and sizes and that its no measure of success or failure. Id tell them that you understand they didnt

realize but just so they know for later that its impolite to judge people on their body but its ok because they are learning now. Id also share with them the many stars and famous people who have large and small bodies. (Kids need evidence) If they protest and seem stuck in their judgements, Id simply say, Well,its just something to think about. Regardless, I dont feel comfortable with you talking to me like that.My eating disorder has kept me resisting making behavioral changes like calling my boundaries with my mouth for years....YEARS! Yet, that was my eating disorder and now I have support and encouragement from my programs and message boards. When and if you are fighting with yourself over saying these things to your niece and nephew, remember they do not have these resources available to them. Your weight may save them from the same fate or worse.Plus.....It is RUDE! They need to know that. A community

raises children. Besides Ive seen that its often easier to call boundaries with children first and then try with adults because children are much more receptive to what is intuitively truthful. If youre like me, then adults have said things just as hurtful but in much more subtle ways. Now, I feel that more often I have the self esteem and self love to call my boundaries openly. I see that no matter what plan of eating I use, intuitive eating or whatever, its not going to get better until I start using my mouth to call boundaries instead of using my body for things it cannot do.I might even express concern to their Mother about it. She needs to know that this kind of mentality sets children up for eating disorders later in life. Food, weight and body DO NOT have the power to make us good, bad, powerful, successful or superior. Thats simply sick thinking! I should know because I wasted years of my life in it.

YEARS!I wouldnt spend my time justifying my weight, food and body issues with people who do not understand. They might be thinner than you, but they sound sicker! No offense. I think its important to point this out. When we are overweight, we always assume that its worse and morally deficient somehow. Thats a fallacy! You dont need to explain your eating disorder. I think the family is doing that wonderfully with their inappropriate behavior.Telling someone how, when, where, why, and what to eat is like telling someone how, when, where, why and what to have sex! Im sorry to get so upset. It really irks me! That was SO wrong in SO many levels!!!!!!You are beautiful. You are loveable. You are a gift to this earth. You were born for a very special purpose. ))))))Go get em!>> Last Xmas I spent the holidays w/ my family. My nephew, who is 4, > told me I am fat. On the same visit my niece (she is 5) asked me > why I was fat and then asked me if I liked being fat. I was > completely shattered. The first moment I got alone I was in tears. > I resolved like most of the people to diet (low carb) in the new > year and join a gym. Also like most people, I lasted about 2 days > in both endeavors. I have been struggling with binge eating for > most of my life but managed to stay thin (thru various diets and > starvation) until around 15 years ago. Now at 41 I find my binge > eating completely out of control but unable to face another diet.> This weekend I saw the same nephew. He told me his mother was > skinnier than I was. I have been reading my IE book for a couple of > weeks and kept using my

nurturing voice. I echoed over and over > again that, "I am a work in progress." Then I got home and saw the > pictures from the weekend...I am freaking out. I don't know quite > how I got to this size. I am almost panic stricken by these > photos. I have so far to go. I often feel I'll never get there.> I have been trying (and mostly succeeding) in breaking the diet > mentality and finding peace with food. Finding the positive voices > when I need them and pracitcing conscious eating is proving more > difficult. Am I just eating myself silly and rationalizing w/ these > voices? Am I being too impatient and thinking in black and white > instead of grey?>

Got a little couch potato?

Check out fun summer activities for kids.

[Guest guest]

--Thanks so much for the post. I'm really beginning to see how warped the whole family situation is through these boards. (Can't believe I haven't seen it sooner to tell the truth.) The fact that everyone feels like they can make comments to me about my weight or about my weight to others has always been ok for me for some bizarre reason. You're right. It is not for them to say. We do come in all shapes and sizes. I actually told one of my sisters (in tears after my nephew made a fat comment) last time I was home how great everyone thinks I am where I live and work. Almost begging her to see that too. It's sad when I think about it. It's not ok for a 5 year old to make me feel like crap about myself. Did you see the post I did about telling my mum about IE? She was just totally dismissive. Even after I told her how much sense it makes to me. I don't need anyone else's approval and

the shame I feel when going home to visit is proof that it's not good for me or my self-esteem. I'm sure this comes off as rant about my family. The odd part about this whole thing is that we all get along great. We're very close and we all tend to use humor to deal with the hard stuff. I do love them all dearly--even my rascal of a nephew! Sometimes it's hard to see that your family is not always the best thing for you to be around. Thanks for listening. -Lise wrote: I have been so busy this week, I apologize for not being on the boards more often but WHOA!!!!!I didnt even read all the responses to this post and felt compelled to respond.Kids just act out what they are experiencing and being taught in their own lives. Of course, there is natural curiousity and question asking. (parenthetically I remember when my son asked me if my fat thighs were muscles when he was 5 or 6) Your nephew and niece sound like they are comfortable with their judgemental appraisals of fat (bad) and thin (good). I also find it strangely curious the way they have compared their Mother to you. I suspect they have listened to these kind of discussions at length, maybe in the car on the way home with their parents?I think the real victim here is the children. What kind of message is that sending them? and definitely setting them up

for eating disorders! You have a real opportunity to share your strength hope and experience with your niece and nephew. Its sounds like they could use a "real" adult to think of their needs instead of being self involved and self absorbed with their own. Your niece and nephew are going to need the information you share with them when their own bodies experience change and adjustment during puberty (when most eating disorders occur).Im glad you have the time and space to seek support and encouragement for this situation and to see it for what it really is, an OPPORTUNITY to share KNOWLEDGE and TRUTH with your loved ones (who knows maybe they will share it with their parents when they are using their body size to feel superior or inferior). I'd point out to my neice and nephew that bodies come in all shapes and sizes and that its no measure of success or failure. Id tell them that you understand they didnt

realize but just so they know for later that its impolite to judge people on their body but its ok because they are learning now. Id also share with them the many stars and famous people who have large and small bodies. (Kids need evidence) If they protest and seem stuck in their judgements, Id simply say, Well,its just something to think about. Regardless, I dont feel comfortable with you talking to me like that.My eating disorder has kept me resisting making behavioral changes like calling my boundaries with my mouth for years....YEARS! Yet, that was my eating disorder and now I have support and encouragement from my programs and message boards. When and if you are fighting with yourself over saying these things to your niece and nephew, remember they do not have these resources available to them. Your weight may save them from the same fate or worse.Plus.....It is RUDE! They need to know that. A community

raises children. Besides Ive seen that its often easier to call boundaries with children first and then try with adults because children are much more receptive to what is intuitively truthful. If youre like me, then adults have said things just as hurtful but in much more subtle ways. Now, I feel that more often I have the self esteem and self love to call my boundaries openly. I see that no matter what plan of eating I use, intuitive eating or whatever, its not going to get better until I start using my mouth to call boundaries instead of using my body for things it cannot do.I might even express concern to their Mother about it. She needs to know that this kind of mentality sets children up for eating disorders later in life. Food, weight and body DO NOT have the power to make us good, bad, powerful, successful or superior. Thats simply sick thinking! I should know because I wasted years of my life in it.

YEARS!I wouldnt spend my time justifying my weight, food and body issues with people who do not understand. They might be thinner than you, but they sound sicker! No offense. I think its important to point this out. When we are overweight, we always assume that its worse and morally deficient somehow. Thats a fallacy! You dont need to explain your eating disorder. I think the family is doing that wonderfully with their inappropriate behavior.Telling someone how, when, where, why, and what to eat is like telling someone how, when, where, why and what to have sex! Im sorry to get so upset. It really irks me! That was SO wrong in SO many levels!!!!!!You are beautiful. You are loveable. You are a gift to this earth. You were born for a very special purpose. ))))))Go get em!>> Last Xmas I spent the holidays w/ my family. My nephew, who is 4, > told me I am fat. On the same visit my niece (she is 5) asked me > why I was fat and then asked me if I liked being fat. I was > completely shattered. The first moment I got alone I was in tears. > I resolved like most of the people to diet (low carb) in the new > year and join a gym. Also like most people, I lasted about 2 days > in both endeavors. I have been struggling with binge eating for > most of my life but managed to stay thin (thru various diets and > starvation) until around 15 years ago. Now at 41 I find my binge > eating completely out of control but unable to face another diet.> This weekend I saw the same nephew. He told me his mother was > skinnier than I was. I have been reading my IE book for a couple of > weeks and kept using my

nurturing voice. I echoed over and over > again that, "I am a work in progress." Then I got home and saw the > pictures from the weekend...I am freaking out. I don't know quite > how I got to this size. I am almost panic stricken by these > photos. I have so far to go. I often feel I'll never get there.> I have been trying (and mostly succeeding) in breaking the diet > mentality and finding peace with food. Finding the positive voices > when I need them and pracitcing conscious eating is proving more > difficult. Am I just eating myself silly and rationalizing w/ these > voices? Am I being too impatient and thinking in black and white > instead of grey?>

Got a little couch potato?

Check out fun summer activities for kids.

[Guest guest]

My kids have made comments about my dad's weight, but thankfully not

in front of him ... just at home, at our own dinner table. And, I made

sure to correct them right away, saying that it was *rude* to talk

about others' weight, and that if they happened to do that in front

of " Papa " , it would probably hurt his feelings. The looks on their

faces told me they understood.

But, they still tend to make mention of " fat " , occasionally... my

daughter once was laying her head on my stomach, and then pulled away,

patted my belly, and said " Big tummy! " (she was 5 at the time). I made

sure to tell her that comments like that hurt Mommy's feelings, and

it's not really nice to point things like that out. All in a loving,

teaching manner, though. I don't come down hard on her for those

comments, as I know it's just a natural thing kids do... but, I think

a lot of it is also an influence that they maybe get from friends at

school, too. My son will come home and say how he and his friends

were talking about so-and-so who's " fat " .... and I'll gently remind

him that he doesn't need to join in when his friends do stuff like

that... and that maybe he could even stand up for that person,

instead -- go against the crowd, so-to-speak.

I want my kids to understand that there are all sorts of different

people in the world, but they're all the same underneath, despite what

we look like on the outside... we are all human, and we all have

feelings. I want my kids to know that it's what's INSIDE that matters

most... not the " shell " .

Jenn

<><

>> Kids just act out what they are experiencing and being taught in

> their own lives.