Re: - when is enough enough?

[Guest guest]

Gwen,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your very sad experience. I am so

sorry for what you have been through. I saw the pictures of my hysteroscopy

and my knees almost buckled. It was like nothing I have ever seen before

and I have autopsied many women and dissected many uterine cavities. There

were no adhesions but the flat scarring looked extensive. He did a D & C of

sorts to try and remove as much of the scar tissue as he could and left the

foley in place for 5 days. I still had periods after the D & C though the

flow was much less and the appearance was very different (brown stuff). I

have not had a period since the procedure -- hopefully after the provera it

will happen. He wants to ultrasound me again in the middle of my next

natural cycle. I will stop the estrogen all together after the 10 days of

provera. Did you stay on it longer than 1 month? I have other problems too

which makes going through more procedures difficult for me. I have 3

fibroids, two are really small and one is about 4-5cm. I am extremely small

(4'10 " and 105lbs) so carrying a baby with fibroids and Ashermans seems

impossible to me. I have really lost hope and I really don't think my

doctor will want to do any more surgeries to improve the cavity. His

opinion is that if the endometrium does not improve with all of this then it

is adoption or surrogacy. I guess I need to ask more questions about the

severity of my Ashermans but I don't want to sound like some desperate woman

in denial. Thanks for listening!!!!!

G

>

>Reply-To: Ashermans

>To: Ashermans

>Subject: - when is enough enough?

>Date: Wed, 21 Feb 2001 08:01:38 -0800 (PST)

>

>, you are not neurotic at all. I know exactly how

>you feel believe me. It took me almost 2-1/2 years to

>be diagnosed with Ashermans. My daughter's placenta

>didn't detach at all and had to be manually removed.

>The OB (who I really like) " reassembled " the placenta

>like a jigsaw puzzle on the table next to me and

>assured me she had gotten it all. Well, at 10 weeks

>post partum I was still bleeding so they finally did

>an ultrasound and found retained placenta. (As a

>side-note, I am an attorney, and although I am not a

>malpractice attorney, I have spoken with a friend who

>is and he says that it is commonly accepted that

>retained placenta is a " known complication " of

>delivery and as such missing some placenta is not

>considered to be malpractice.)

>

>Anyway, I had a D & C done at 10 weeks to remove the

>placenta and the bleeding finally stopped. Well, I

>breastfed (as much as I could seeing as my milk never

>really came in due to the retained placenta) up until

>my daughter was 8 months old and never had a period

>and was told that was normal while breastfeeding.

>After I stopped breastfeeding I didn't have periods

>either and was told that this was " normal " because I

>was on a low-dose birth control pill and " some women

>just don't get periods on these pills " Well, then I

>stopped taking all birth control pills just after my

>daughter turned 2 so we could try to conceive our

>second child, and no period. My doctor told me that

>it could take " up to 6 months for my body to return to

>normal " after using birth control pills. I told her

>that it had taken exactly 28 days to have a period

>after stopping birth control pills when we conceived

>our daughter, so why would this time be different? And

>she said it could be due to the pregnancy.

>

>Well, 6 months later, still no period so I see an OB

>who says I must have " hypothalamic amennorrhea " a

>hormonal imbalance. I had done quite a bit of research

>by that time and asked him about Asherman's and he

>told me I couldn't have that because it was " very

>rare " . So, he forces me to do the Provera-challenge

>and after taking Provera for 10 days and waiting

>another 10 days I still have no period so he finally

>refers me to an RE who takes one look at my chart and

>says.... " you have Ashermans, you have the classic

>history, I can't believe no one diagnosed you before

>now. "

>

>So, after 3 hysterosalpingograms, 3 saline

>ultrasounds, and 3 attempts to remove my scarring, I

>finally " gave up " about 2 weeks ago. My doctor did an

>operative hysteroscopy and said that I was looking at

>at LEAST 3 more surgeries to have any hope of

>obtaining an open uterus and that the scarring he

>found had grown into the muscle wall of my uterus and

>even if they were able to remove it all, the chances

>of my ever being able to grow healthy endometrium

>again were very, very slim. So, that was " enough " for

>me. I just couldn't keep putting myself through the

>pain, both emotional and physical of hoping that this

> " next " time would be it for me.

>

>But, that is a personal decision every woman must

>make. Only you can say when enough is enough for you.

>How severe is your scarring? Do you know? Do you have

>any healthy endometrium left? All of those things will

> " factor " into the likelihood of a good outcome for

>you. In my case, the answers to these questions made

>the likelihood so slim that it wasn't worth it to us.

>But that may not be the same for you.

>

>All I can tell you is you need to gather as much

>information as you can about your own situation and

>they try to do your own cost/benefit analysis. What

>it really boiled down to for me was " Can I live with

>myself if I give up now? Can I live the rest of my

>life without guilt or regret if I stop now? " I wasn't

>able to reach that point until after having that

>operative hysteroscopy and actually seeing pictures of

>what the inside of my uterus looks like. It wasn't

>until then, that the futility of more surgery finally

>hit home for me.

>

>I hope you can find that place of peace for yourself.

>We are here to help you if we can.

>

>Gwen

>

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