Am I ED?

[Guest guest]

All these posts about the voice of ED and bad ex-husbands got me thinking as to

whether I

am the ED in my husband's mind. We agreed before we got married that we'd let

the other

person know if they were getting too heavy (of course with some room to grow

built in--I'm

not talking a couple pounds). I was obsessed with dieting then and couldn't

(still can't) bear

the thought of him looking at me and having to pretend he liked it when really

he didn't.

Well, he has probably gained 30 or so pounds since our wedding 3 years ago (he

doesn't

exercise because he has too many responsibilities in supporting me and his

fledgling career),

and I was having a hard time getting through to him, so I became less and less

subtle until I

finally just started outright making fun of his gut. I assumed he just wasn't

that sensitive

about it because he always laughs at the jokes or makes a look like he's

feigning offense.

He's a really fun-loving guy and we tease each other about lots of stuff all the

time. But some

of my comments have just been mean, and now I'm thinking that I've actually been

projecting

my discomfort with my body onto him. He has always been so supportive through my

weight

highs and lows, and this is what I do to him?!? I thank God that he's very

level-headed and

stubborn and won't destroy himself over the snide comments I have made. And

although I

wish he were in better shape, there are advantages to a bit of a gut--he's very

snuggly!

Maybe that's what he thinks about my " soft curves " too? Lovers always see the

best in each

other; if only I can learn to see myself this way.