Re: Fibroids and menopause

June 8, 2001

I don't think that men are necessarily as educated as the sufferer

for making these sort of decisions. There have been plenty of unhappy

husbands whose wives had hysterectomies and the result was a wife

with a changed personality who no longer cares about sex. Nora

Coffey, who started the HERS foundation has described the davastating

effects hysterectomy had on her marriage. I don't think your husband

realizes the potential consequences of a major surgery like this. I

have read posts from husbands (on medical chat sites) who are seeking

some help for their wives after hysterectomy because their wives have

become sick or changed and they want their old wives back.

Hysterectomy is major surgery with a death rate of about one in 1000.

The surgery itself can lead to loss of sensation in the genetal area,

adhesions that interfere with many things, depression for up to five

years following surgery, (some studies say 50% of women), development

of bladder and bowel dysfunction, development of heart trouble,

development of joint pain and arthritis, loss of libido and sexual

dysfunction (25 to 75% of women), weight gain and water balance

problems, loss of empathy and flattening of emotions, chronic

fatigue, reduced ability to heal from injuries, development of

thyroid dysfunction, future liver and gallbladder damage from HRT,

and premature aging and graying. I could go on and on. The most

damaging effects come when the ovaries are removed. Colgan in

his book " Hormonal Health " quotes well known women who have said that

hysterectomy had robed them of their life force.

Your uterus itself produces hormones, called prostaglandins, that

regulate blood pressure, maintain the health of your heart, and keep

your immune system functioning properly. Removal of the uterus alone

increases your risk of future cardiovascular disease by up to 500%.

After menopause, your reproductive organs continue to produce health

benefiting hormones at lower and proportionately different levels.

They don't just stop. Estrogen drops to about 40% of premenopause

levels.

According to some reading that I have done, it takes about three

years after menopause for fibroids to shrink up. Generlly they shrink

up to tiny seadlings. My mother's fibroids did and she has never been

bothered with them since. Ask your husband to be patient a little

longer for the sake of your long term health. Or, buy him the

book " The Ultimate Rape " by Plourde.

http://www.newvoice.net/why.html Send him to these websites:

http://www.angelfire.com/fl/endohystnhrt

(Hysterectomy awareness)

http://www.ccon.com/hers/

HERS-Hysterectomy Education and Research Services.

http://www.hystersisters.com/

(Hyster Sisters)

Tish

June 8, 2001

I'll tell you with 100% certainty that if I were you and things seemed to

be improving I wouldn't do a thing--despite my husband's

disappointments. When people ask him if you are pregnant, he should tell

them no, she has fibroid tumors. Chances are 2 out of 3 people will say

" oh, I have those " , or " my wife has those " or " I know someone with

those " . Then he will get the support he needs--we forget that they are

going through this too. I just had surgery (for fibroids) that very nearly

significantly jeopardized my health--resulting in the removal of 2 inches

of my intestines (it could have been MUCH worse). I'm just saying, that

surgery carries innate risk and that my feeling is it's best to avoid it

(if we can). I think it was actually kind of good for my husband when this

happened to me because, HE finally got some support (and found out he is

not alone). Since I was in the hospital for a week and he had to tell

people what was going on, (including the fibroid part), he met 5 men with

wives that had fibroids, one of which experienced the same complication as

I did! This is not something men usually talk about to each other, but

I'll bet if they did, they would find out they share much of the same

experiences.

Just follow your gut as to what is right for you--I know your husband will

be happy if you're happy (and certainly happier than if something went

wrong for you during surgery!) Good luck, I hope you really are on the

road to being over with these!

Sydney

At 09:37 PM 6/8/01 +1000, you wrote:

>Dear all,

>

>What to do...what to do... I have been trying to decide whether to write

>this during my emotional moment or to wait for a couple of days until I

>might be more objective.. I admire and applaud those of you who vent - I

>am one of those people who tend to wait until I have something

>'worthwhile' to add, then of course it never gets said. If I had family

>here or friends who have the same situation I would probably talk first to

>them. But this is what makes this group so invaluable - the link to

>feeling that you are not alone and that someone might listen and

>sympathise and give good advice. You are a wonderful bunch of ladies and

>I commiserate with you all so much. I have been a member for a few

>months, mainly listening and learning. So many times whilst reading

>everyone's e-mails I have wanted to reply immediately and say - OH I can

>relate to that!! And so often I think it would be nice to be able to sit

>in a group, here and now, face to face, to just talk about everything.

>

>I joined this group at a time when I was ready for a hysterectomy. I was

>fed up with dealing with all the symptoms and lack of lifestyle. But I

>remained in watch and wait mode. From 97 I was diagnosed with a large

>intramural fibroid. Had a hysteroscopy and decided to still wait and

>watch. Periods got much worse - 3 days flooding and staying at home. Two

>months ago I said this is it, I need to make a decision. The period was

>due! The four sizes of tampons lined up, the four types of pads and

>finally the Depends and Poise.... Well it came but hardly at all. Could

>it be??? Was I actually perhaps maybe starting menopause??? Or yikes -

>pregnant? (I'm nearly 47). You can imagine all the questions in my

>head. So I waited. Last month my period was two weeks late and very

>light - that was it, I went to my local general practitioner. He said it

>sounds very much like I am going into menopause. Blood test for

>pregnancy, pap test and anaemia negative. Had my third ultrasound in 4

>years today and it shows that my fibroids have not grown in a year -

>having grown 2 cm's the previous 2 years - (7.3 cm intramural and two 2 cm

>intramural ones). I was pretty elated at that and even though I know this

>may be just too easy (I will probably get more periods and a wind down -

>perhaps lasting a long time) - I went into work very happy. Just having

>lighter periods and less bloating and more energy in the past three months

>is a miracle!!! Could I actually be someone who gets through the

>menopause stage? I have not changed my lifestyle/diet at all in the past

>four years except to take up weight bearing (pump) exercises in the last

>six months.... I have read all about the natural progesterone, and

>hormonal treatments etc but take nothing. I have not been on BCP since I

>was 21. I have been so lucky so far to not have had any serious

>menopausal symptoms - except the peri ones associated with the fibroids.

>

>Thinking to myself I can now wait longer, I told my husband the

>results. He is a wonderful man and really the love of my life. This is

>the crunch though - when I told him how happy I was that the fibroids have

>not grown and I could hopefully avoid surgery I saw the disappointment in

>his face. Later I asked him how he really felt and he said that he only

>wanted me to feel happy with my decisions and be happy in myself. He has

>been a part of all the past four years and a big support. Then he said "

>But I do have a problem with people asking me if you are pregnant. " Just

>one little sentence out of the blue did it. Well I guess that undid the

>past fours years of dealing with this and getting to this point of feeling

>like I am making some definitive decisions. Was it a reflection of my

>insecurities I wonder - it's true that when we married 10 years ago I was

>25 pounds lighter and had no inkling of what was to come with these

>fibroids! Please can anyone tell me how their partners have dealt with

>this? It made me feel that he really would have preferred I decided to

>have a hysterectomy.

>

>I know this is not a forum for therapy and I don't ask for support in that

>way - I guess I am just venting in my own way wanting to believe that I am

>a whole and wonderful person even though I have a condition that is

>something I didn't ask for, and something that I am doing my utmost to

>deal with in the most informative and responsible way for my whole

>family. Sometimes I really wish men had to go through what we do. There

>is a great new commercial here (in Australia) about cotton tampons - they

>have men as road workers dealing with periods! There is a caption at the

>end saying " if only " ......

>

>Sorry for the long rant - building up for the right moment I guess.. I

>really have found so much comfort in this group - perhaps my husband has

>found it hard to understand the amount of time I spend here and

>researching - he knows it is a huge part of my life and perhaps feels left

>out! Do any of you find that this is true of your lives?

>

>Thanks so much for taking the time to listen and much luck, health and

>happiness to you all.

>

>Mandy

>

June 8, 2001

Mandy,

How exciting that you are experiencing relief from your fibroids! It

will be interesting to hear how things go as I have not seen posts

from women who were able to avoid medical intervention. Maybe more

women in your position will come forward and you can hear about the

highs and lows of " natural UAE, " and pick-up any tips or precautions

that might help you. And you can share your experience, I am curious

what the similarities of menopause shrinking are with UAE shrinkage.

A favorite comment from my IR was " dead is dead. "

On the pregnant look comment- another human being that is not perfect

and therefore has the human ability of saying very stupid things.

Stupid, Stupid, Studpid. Your husband is in need of a bit of

reflection and acknowledgment on the health and beauty of your body!

If it was me I would have my husband close the discussion with

a " short " shopping trip together where we picked out a gorgeous

outfit (including shoes and assessories) for my gorgeous body- tell

him not to forget his checkbook.

Good for you on the 6 months of weight bearing exercise! Life's a

journey, stay healthy.

> Dear all,

>

> What to do...what to do... I have been trying to decide whether to

write this during my emotional moment or to wait for a couple of days

until I might be more objective.. I admire and applaud those of you

who vent - I am one of those people who tend to wait until I have

something 'worthwhile' to add, then of course it never gets said. If

I had family here or friends who have the same situation I would

probably talk first to them. But this is what makes this group so

invaluable - the link to feeling that you are not alone and that

someone might listen and sympathise and give good advice. You are a

wonderful bunch of ladies and I commiserate with you all so much. I

have been a member for a few months, mainly listening and learning.

So many times whilst reading everyone's e-mails I have wanted to

reply immediately and say - OH I can relate to that!! And so often I

think it would be nice to be able to sit in a group, here and now,

face to face, to just talk about everything.

>

> I joined this group at a time when I was ready for a hysterectomy.

I was fed up with dealing with all the symptoms and lack of

lifestyle. But I remained in watch and wait mode. From 97 I was

diagnosed with a large intramural fibroid. Had a hysteroscopy and

decided to still wait and watch. Periods got much worse - 3 days

flooding and staying at home. Two months ago I said this is it, I

need to make a decision. The period was due! The four sizes of

tampons lined up, the four types of pads and finally the Depends and

Poise.... Well it came but hardly at all. Could it be??? Was I

actually perhaps maybe starting menopause??? Or yikes - pregnant?

(I'm nearly 47). You can imagine all the questions in my head. So I

waited. Last month my period was two weeks late and very light -

that was it, I went to my local general practitioner. He said it

sounds very much like I am going into menopause. Blood test for

pregnancy, pap test and anaemia negative. Had my third ultrasound in

4 years today and it shows that my fibroids have not grown in a year -

having grown 2 cm's the previous 2 years - (7.3 cm intramural and

two 2 cm intramural ones). I was pretty elated at that and even

though I know this may be just too easy (I will probably get more

periods and a wind down - perhaps lasting a long time) - I went into

work very happy. Just having lighter periods and less bloating and

more energy in the past three months is a miracle!!! Could I

actually be someone who gets through the menopause stage? I have not

changed my lifestyle/diet at all in the past four years except to

take up weight bearing (pump) exercises in the last six months.... I

have read all about the natural progesterone, and hormonal treatments

etc but take nothing. I have not been on BCP since I was 21. I have

been so lucky so far to not have had any serious menopausal symptoms -

except the peri ones associated with the fibroids.

>

> Thinking to myself I can now wait longer, I told my husband the

results. He is a wonderful man and really the love of my life. This

is the crunch though - when I told him how happy I was that the

fibroids have not grown and I could hopefully avoid surgery I saw the

disappointment in his face. Later I asked him how he really felt and

he said that he only wanted me to feel happy with my decisions and be

happy in myself. He has been a part of all the past four years and a

big support. Then he said " But I do have a problem with people

asking me if you are pregnant. " Just one little sentence out of the

blue did it. Well I guess that undid the past fours years of dealing

with this and getting to this point of feeling like I am making some

definitive decisions. Was it a reflection of my insecurities I

wonder - it's true that when we married 10 years ago I was 25 pounds

lighter and had no inkling of what was to come with these fibroids!

Please can anyone tell me how their partners have dealt with this?

It made me feel that he really would have preferred I decided to have

a hysterectomy.

>

> I know this is not a forum for therapy and I don't ask for support

in that way - I guess I am just venting in my own way wanting to

believe that I am a whole and wonderful person even though I have a

condition that is something I didn't ask for, and something that I am

doing my utmost to deal with in the most informative and responsible

way for my whole family. Sometimes I really wish men had to go

through what we do. There is a great new commercial here (in

Australia) about cotton tampons - they have men as road workers

dealing with periods! There is a caption at the end saying " if

only " ......

>

> Sorry for the long rant - building up for the right moment I

guess.. I really have found so much comfort in this group - perhaps

my husband has found it hard to understand the amount of time I spend

here and researching - he knows it is a huge part of my life and

perhaps feels left out! Do any of you find that this is true of your

lives?

>

> Thanks so much for taking the time to listen and much luck, health

and happiness to you all.

>

> Mandy

>

June 8, 2001