Re: cats and my big problem

[Guest guest]

Kim: All kidding aside, I'd recommend: 1) counseling/therapy ... 2)

antidepressants... 3) self-help books not written by StepNazis ... 4)

support groups (nothing Anonymous)... 5) exercise ...6) renting funny

videos... 7) meaningless sex (for men only)... 8) masturbation (for

both genders)... 9) comfort food (unless you have an eating disorder).

OK, I did a little bit of kidding, but mainly remember you are not

alone.

[Guest guest]

Kim: All kidding aside, I'd recommend: 1) counseling/therapy ... 2)

antidepressants... 3) self-help books not written by StepNazis ... 4)

support groups (nothing Anonymous)... 5) exercise ...6) renting funny

videos... 7) meaningless sex (for men only)... 8) masturbation (for

both genders)... 9) comfort food (unless you have an eating disorder).

OK, I did a little bit of kidding, but mainly remember you are not

alone.

[Guest guest]

Please elaborate, why is this one gender specific?

Apple

7) meaningless sex (for men only)...

[Guest guest]

Please elaborate, why is this one gender specific?

Apple

7) meaningless sex (for men only)...

[Guest guest]

Please elaborate, why is this one gender specific?

Apple

7) meaningless sex (for men only)...

[Guest guest]

Hi Kim,

It sounds like the kind of thing where a qualified psychologist or

psychiatrist could help, but " advice " from the rest of us clowns would be

kind of pointless.

I remember reading a magazine article a few months back about various kinds

of social anxiety and social phobias. It was in US News and World Report &

it was the cover story -- the headline was (I think) " How Shy is Too Shy. "

It said that in recent years the therapy profession was starting to take

these things more seriously and was developing ways of treating them,

whereas in the past they had been dismissed as mere " shyness. " It mentioned

that sometimes the problem was acquired after some kind of trauma or a

series of social disasters.

Maybe I haven't thrown the mag out yet -- I'll look around. In any case, a

library would have back issues and I'm sure it was sometime this year.

I'm amazed that you've kept your objectivity and sense of humour.

Best Wishes,

wally

cats and my big problem

>

> I have a cat buddy who lives a few blocks away. When

>our schedules permit, I go over and call him and he

>comes for a massage. (Wouldn't you?!!) But what I

>really need is to be able to be around people.

>

> I'm serious. It has been 1 1/2 years and I am still

>pretty much totally isolated. I have no contact with

>my family(they are not supportive, to say the least)

>and no old friends. My trouble is I cannot go to work

>or at least not full time or I get suicidal thoughts

>quite intensely and have to quit. I've been too

>chicken after that to try part-time. I took a couple

>fun courses but dropped out I got too anxious and

>upset.

>

>

> So as much as I appreciate the value of humour, and

>of cats, I'm serious here!

>

> I am very frustrated that I can't seem to crack this

>puzzle and no one else seems to be able to either. By

>all means, give it a shot if you like. I WILL NOT GIVE

>UP! I WILL NEVER GIVE UP! But it pisses me off!

>

> That's another thing. I don't seem to be able or

>willing to get angy at the a-holes who treated me like

>I was a piece of shit. It seems I need some people to

>treat me nice first so I can see the contrast. But I

>can't get around people if I'm going to get suicidal

>thoughts, can I ?

>

>

> I am going to try to get into a residential ex-cult

>treatment thing.

>

>

> Kim

>__________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

mrreindeer@... writes:

> 7) meaningless sex (for men only)..

Meaningless sex has its place for women, too, you know (or perhaps you

didn't).

Ta,

[Guest guest]

mrreindeer@... writes:

> 7) meaningless sex (for men only)..

Meaningless sex has its place for women, too, you know (or perhaps you

didn't).

Ta,

[Guest guest]

mrreindeer@... writes:

> 7) meaningless sex (for men only)..

Meaningless sex has its place for women, too, you know (or perhaps you

didn't).

Ta,

[Guest guest]

They're advertising a new drug for a diagnosable disorder called

" social anxiety " . It is for people who fear rejection or ridicule in

social situations. The commercials are very frequent, and the first

time I heard it, I was thinking.. " new cure for social anxiety? they

must be advertising cocaine... " , but no, it is a new pill by the

manufacturers of Paxil.

Apple

" wally t. " wrote:

original article:/group/12-step-free/?start=9888

> Hi Kim,

>

> It sounds like the kind of thing where a qualified psychologist or

> psychiatrist could help, but " advice " from the rest of us clowns

would be

> kind of pointless.

>

> I remember reading a magazine article a few months back about various

kinds

> of social anxiety and social phobias. It was in US News and World

Report &

> it was the cover story -- the headline was (I think) " How Shy is Too

Shy. "

> It said that in recent years the therapy profession was starting to

take

> these things more seriously and was developing ways of treating them,

> whereas in the past they had been dismissed as mere " shyness. " It

mentioned

> that sometimes the problem was acquired after some kind of trauma or a

> series of social disasters.

>

> Maybe I haven't thrown the mag out yet -- I'll look around. In any

case, a

> library would have back issues and I'm sure it was sometime this year.

>

> I'm amazed that you've kept your objectivity and sense of humour.

>

> Best Wishes,

> wally

>

[Guest guest]

Apple: Everyone knows women will just never " get it " as far as the

therapeutic and spiritual value of meaningless sex is concerned. I

mean, I posted an ad for meaningless sex on one of those personals

boards several weeks ago and haven't gotten a single reply, except for

one response from some woman who claims to be setting up a male escort

service! On the other hand, I'll bet every woman who runs a personal ad

gets inundated. Life is so unfair!

[Guest guest]

Apple: Everyone knows women will just never " get it " as far as the

therapeutic and spiritual value of meaningless sex is concerned. I

mean, I posted an ad for meaningless sex on one of those personals

boards several weeks ago and haven't gotten a single reply, except for

one response from some woman who claims to be setting up a male escort

service! On the other hand, I'll bet every woman who runs a personal ad

gets inundated. Life is so unfair!

[Guest guest]

Hey Kim. You sound exactly like me. I am the isolation junkie. One of the

things that stuns me about my life right now, is that as I approach 28, I

have no friends. Not a one. The only people I talk to are my co-workers

and my family members. It terrifies me that my life is almost half over and

I'm all alone.

What do I want for Christmas? To have friends. Not 15 or 20 friends.

Not like the beer commercials where the guys are sitting around the camp

fire. I just want a few friends. People to do things with: go to movies,

eat dinner, whatever. There are 6 billion people on this planet. And I

have zero friends. I haven't had a date with a girl in two years.

The isolationist. I know there's some part of me that likes it this

way. Its comfortable for me, I don't have to worry about being hurt by

people. The downside is I have to do everything by myself. And like you

said Kim, work is very very hard for me. And my depressive urges seem to

get a lot worse when I'm on the clock.

I know I make my life sound pretty low and awful. Its really not. In

fact I'd have a great life if I only could connect to people. The problem

is I try to make sense of relationships like I would addictions or

medications. I try to study and find logic in love. The thing is, there

isn't any logic to love. Emotions don't make sense. As long as I try to

find a magic equation to bonding with people I'm probably going to be

hopelessly disconnected.

This is one area I can't give advice in Kim. I just hope you know your not

alone. Matt

>

>Reply-To: 12-step-freeegroups

>To: 12-step-freeegroups

>Subject: cats and my big problem

>Date: Fri, 26 Nov 1999 13:27:39 -0800 (PST)

>

>

> I have a cat buddy who lives a few blocks away. When

>our schedules permit, I go over and call him and he

>comes for a massage. (Wouldn't you?!!) But what I

>really need is to be able to be around people.

>

> I'm serious. It has been 1 1/2 years and I am still

>pretty much totally isolated. I have no contact with

>my family(they are not supportive, to say the least)

>and no old friends. My trouble is I cannot go to work

>or at least not full time or I get suicidal thoughts

>quite intensely and have to quit. I've been too

>chicken after that to try part-time. I took a couple

>fun courses but dropped out I got too anxious and

>upset.

>

>

> So as much as I appreciate the value of humour, and

>of cats, I'm serious here!

>

> I am very frustrated that I can't seem to crack this

>puzzle and no one else seems to be able to either. By

>all means, give it a shot if you like. I WILL NOT GIVE

>UP! I WILL NEVER GIVE UP! But it pisses me off!

>

> That's another thing. I don't seem to be able or

>willing to get angy at the a-holes who treated me like

>I was a piece of shit. It seems I need some people to

>treat me nice first so I can see the contrast. But I

>can't get around people if I'm going to get suicidal

>thoughts, can I ?

>

>

> I am going to try to get into a residential ex-cult

>treatment thing.

>

>

> Kim

>__________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Hey Kim. You sound exactly like me. I am the isolation junkie. One of the

things that stuns me about my life right now, is that as I approach 28, I

have no friends. Not a one. The only people I talk to are my co-workers

and my family members. It terrifies me that my life is almost half over and

I'm all alone.

What do I want for Christmas? To have friends. Not 15 or 20 friends.

Not like the beer commercials where the guys are sitting around the camp

fire. I just want a few friends. People to do things with: go to movies,

eat dinner, whatever. There are 6 billion people on this planet. And I

have zero friends. I haven't had a date with a girl in two years.

The isolationist. I know there's some part of me that likes it this

way. Its comfortable for me, I don't have to worry about being hurt by

people. The downside is I have to do everything by myself. And like you

said Kim, work is very very hard for me. And my depressive urges seem to

get a lot worse when I'm on the clock.

I know I make my life sound pretty low and awful. Its really not. In

fact I'd have a great life if I only could connect to people. The problem

is I try to make sense of relationships like I would addictions or

medications. I try to study and find logic in love. The thing is, there

isn't any logic to love. Emotions don't make sense. As long as I try to

find a magic equation to bonding with people I'm probably going to be

hopelessly disconnected.

This is one area I can't give advice in Kim. I just hope you know your not

alone. Matt

>

>Reply-To: 12-step-freeegroups

>To: 12-step-freeegroups

>Subject: cats and my big problem

>Date: Fri, 26 Nov 1999 13:27:39 -0800 (PST)

>

>

> I have a cat buddy who lives a few blocks away. When

>our schedules permit, I go over and call him and he

>comes for a massage. (Wouldn't you?!!) But what I

>really need is to be able to be around people.

>

> I'm serious. It has been 1 1/2 years and I am still

>pretty much totally isolated. I have no contact with

>my family(they are not supportive, to say the least)

>and no old friends. My trouble is I cannot go to work

>or at least not full time or I get suicidal thoughts

>quite intensely and have to quit. I've been too

>chicken after that to try part-time. I took a couple

>fun courses but dropped out I got too anxious and

>upset.

>

>

> So as much as I appreciate the value of humour, and

>of cats, I'm serious here!

>

> I am very frustrated that I can't seem to crack this

>puzzle and no one else seems to be able to either. By

>all means, give it a shot if you like. I WILL NOT GIVE

>UP! I WILL NEVER GIVE UP! But it pisses me off!

>

> That's another thing. I don't seem to be able or

>willing to get angy at the a-holes who treated me like

>I was a piece of shit. It seems I need some people to

>treat me nice first so I can see the contrast. But I

>can't get around people if I'm going to get suicidal

>thoughts, can I ?

>

>

> I am going to try to get into a residential ex-cult

>treatment thing.

>

>

> Kim

>__________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Hey Kim. You sound exactly like me. I am the isolation junkie. One of the

things that stuns me about my life right now, is that as I approach 28, I

have no friends. Not a one. The only people I talk to are my co-workers

and my family members. It terrifies me that my life is almost half over and

I'm all alone.

What do I want for Christmas? To have friends. Not 15 or 20 friends.

Not like the beer commercials where the guys are sitting around the camp

fire. I just want a few friends. People to do things with: go to movies,

eat dinner, whatever. There are 6 billion people on this planet. And I

have zero friends. I haven't had a date with a girl in two years.

The isolationist. I know there's some part of me that likes it this

way. Its comfortable for me, I don't have to worry about being hurt by

people. The downside is I have to do everything by myself. And like you

said Kim, work is very very hard for me. And my depressive urges seem to

get a lot worse when I'm on the clock.

I know I make my life sound pretty low and awful. Its really not. In

fact I'd have a great life if I only could connect to people. The problem

is I try to make sense of relationships like I would addictions or

medications. I try to study and find logic in love. The thing is, there

isn't any logic to love. Emotions don't make sense. As long as I try to

find a magic equation to bonding with people I'm probably going to be

hopelessly disconnected.

This is one area I can't give advice in Kim. I just hope you know your not

alone. Matt

>

>Reply-To: 12-step-freeegroups

>To: 12-step-freeegroups

>Subject: cats and my big problem

>Date: Fri, 26 Nov 1999 13:27:39 -0800 (PST)

>

>

> I have a cat buddy who lives a few blocks away. When

>our schedules permit, I go over and call him and he

>comes for a massage. (Wouldn't you?!!) But what I

>really need is to be able to be around people.

>

> I'm serious. It has been 1 1/2 years and I am still

>pretty much totally isolated. I have no contact with

>my family(they are not supportive, to say the least)

>and no old friends. My trouble is I cannot go to work

>or at least not full time or I get suicidal thoughts

>quite intensely and have to quit. I've been too

>chicken after that to try part-time. I took a couple

>fun courses but dropped out I got too anxious and

>upset.

>

>

> So as much as I appreciate the value of humour, and

>of cats, I'm serious here!

>

> I am very frustrated that I can't seem to crack this

>puzzle and no one else seems to be able to either. By

>all means, give it a shot if you like. I WILL NOT GIVE

>UP! I WILL NEVER GIVE UP! But it pisses me off!

>

> That's another thing. I don't seem to be able or

>willing to get angy at the a-holes who treated me like

>I was a piece of shit. It seems I need some people to

>treat me nice first so I can see the contrast. But I

>can't get around people if I'm going to get suicidal

>thoughts, can I ?

>

>

> I am going to try to get into a residential ex-cult

>treatment thing.

>

>

> Kim

>__________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

I have that article from US News and World Report on social anxiety. The

article criticizes ads that portray Paxil as a " cure " for social phobia.

I'm glad they did because no pill can turn a shy person into a social

butterfly. But the paxil commercials promise just that. They show a shy

man watching tv alone in his apartment. Then, later on they show him

playing football in the park with a bunch of friends seemingly pulled out of

a Gap commercial.

I took paxi and while it did make me more socially comfortable, by no

means did I turn into a man about town. A pill can't make a non-athletic

person turn into Jordan. What paxil helped me to do was relax

enough to finish a book (I could never concentrate before) and complete

projects like cleaning my apartment!

I didn't start throwing parties or having barbecues. And I couldn't

remember playing football in the park(joke).

>

>Reply-To: 12-step-freeegroups

>To: 12-step-freeeGroups

>Subject: Re: cats and my big problem

>Date: Sat, 27 Nov 1999 04:57:30 -0800

>

>They're advertising a new drug for a diagnosable disorder called

> " social anxiety " . It is for people who fear rejection or ridicule in

>social situations. The commercials are very frequent, and the first

>time I heard it, I was thinking.. " new cure for social anxiety? they

>must be advertising cocaine... " , but no, it is a new pill by the

>manufacturers of Paxil.

>Apple

>

> " wally t. " wrote:

>original article:/group/12-step-free/?start=9888

> > Hi Kim,

> >

> > It sounds like the kind of thing where a qualified psychologist or

> > psychiatrist could help, but " advice " from the rest of us clowns

>would be

> > kind of pointless.

> >

> > I remember reading a magazine article a few months back about various

>kinds

> > of social anxiety and social phobias. It was in US News and World

>Report &

> > it was the cover story -- the headline was (I think) " How Shy is Too

>Shy. "

> > It said that in recent years the therapy profession was starting to

>take

> > these things more seriously and was developing ways of treating them,

> > whereas in the past they had been dismissed as mere " shyness. " It

>mentioned

> > that sometimes the problem was acquired after some kind of trauma or a

> > series of social disasters.

> >

> > Maybe I haven't thrown the mag out yet -- I'll look around. In any

>case, a

> > library would have back issues and I'm sure it was sometime this year.

> >

> > I'm amazed that you've kept your objectivity and sense of humour.

> >

> > Best Wishes,

> > wally

> >

>

>

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Accurate impartial advice on everything from laptops to tablesaws.

>http://clickhere./click/1701

>

>

>

>eGroups.com Home: /group/12-step-free/

> - Simplifying group communications

>

>

>

______________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I have that article from US News and World Report on social anxiety. The

article criticizes ads that portray Paxil as a " cure " for social phobia.

I'm glad they did because no pill can turn a shy person into a social

butterfly. But the paxil commercials promise just that. They show a shy

man watching tv alone in his apartment. Then, later on they show him

playing football in the park with a bunch of friends seemingly pulled out of

a Gap commercial.

I took paxi and while it did make me more socially comfortable, by no

means did I turn into a man about town. A pill can't make a non-athletic

person turn into Jordan. What paxil helped me to do was relax

enough to finish a book (I could never concentrate before) and complete

projects like cleaning my apartment!

I didn't start throwing parties or having barbecues. And I couldn't

remember playing football in the park(joke).

>

>Reply-To: 12-step-freeegroups

>To: 12-step-freeeGroups

>Subject: Re: cats and my big problem

>Date: Sat, 27 Nov 1999 04:57:30 -0800

>

>They're advertising a new drug for a diagnosable disorder called

> " social anxiety " . It is for people who fear rejection or ridicule in

>social situations. The commercials are very frequent, and the first

>time I heard it, I was thinking.. " new cure for social anxiety? they

>must be advertising cocaine... " , but no, it is a new pill by the

>manufacturers of Paxil.

>Apple

>

> " wally t. " wrote:

>original article:/group/12-step-free/?start=9888

> > Hi Kim,

> >

> > It sounds like the kind of thing where a qualified psychologist or

> > psychiatrist could help, but " advice " from the rest of us clowns

>would be

> > kind of pointless.

> >

> > I remember reading a magazine article a few months back about various

>kinds

> > of social anxiety and social phobias. It was in US News and World

>Report &

> > it was the cover story -- the headline was (I think) " How Shy is Too

>Shy. "

> > It said that in recent years the therapy profession was starting to

>take

> > these things more seriously and was developing ways of treating them,

> > whereas in the past they had been dismissed as mere " shyness. " It

>mentioned

> > that sometimes the problem was acquired after some kind of trauma or a

> > series of social disasters.

> >

> > Maybe I haven't thrown the mag out yet -- I'll look around. In any

>case, a

> > library would have back issues and I'm sure it was sometime this year.

> >

> > I'm amazed that you've kept your objectivity and sense of humour.

> >

> > Best Wishes,

> > wally

> >

>

>

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Accurate impartial advice on everything from laptops to tablesaws.

>http://clickhere./click/1701

>

>

>

>eGroups.com Home: /group/12-step-free/

> - Simplifying group communications

>

>

>

______________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I have that article from US News and World Report on social anxiety. The

article criticizes ads that portray Paxil as a " cure " for social phobia.

I'm glad they did because no pill can turn a shy person into a social

butterfly. But the paxil commercials promise just that. They show a shy

man watching tv alone in his apartment. Then, later on they show him

playing football in the park with a bunch of friends seemingly pulled out of

a Gap commercial.

I took paxi and while it did make me more socially comfortable, by no

means did I turn into a man about town. A pill can't make a non-athletic

person turn into Jordan. What paxil helped me to do was relax

enough to finish a book (I could never concentrate before) and complete

projects like cleaning my apartment!

I didn't start throwing parties or having barbecues. And I couldn't

remember playing football in the park(joke).

>

>Reply-To: 12-step-freeegroups

>To: 12-step-freeeGroups

>Subject: Re: cats and my big problem

>Date: Sat, 27 Nov 1999 04:57:30 -0800

>

>They're advertising a new drug for a diagnosable disorder called

> " social anxiety " . It is for people who fear rejection or ridicule in

>social situations. The commercials are very frequent, and the first

>time I heard it, I was thinking.. " new cure for social anxiety? they

>must be advertising cocaine... " , but no, it is a new pill by the

>manufacturers of Paxil.

>Apple

>

> " wally t. " wrote:

>original article:/group/12-step-free/?start=9888

> > Hi Kim,

> >

> > It sounds like the kind of thing where a qualified psychologist or

> > psychiatrist could help, but " advice " from the rest of us clowns

>would be

> > kind of pointless.

> >

> > I remember reading a magazine article a few months back about various

>kinds

> > of social anxiety and social phobias. It was in US News and World

>Report &

> > it was the cover story -- the headline was (I think) " How Shy is Too

>Shy. "

> > It said that in recent years the therapy profession was starting to

>take

> > these things more seriously and was developing ways of treating them,

> > whereas in the past they had been dismissed as mere " shyness. " It

>mentioned

> > that sometimes the problem was acquired after some kind of trauma or a

> > series of social disasters.

> >

> > Maybe I haven't thrown the mag out yet -- I'll look around. In any

>case, a

> > library would have back issues and I'm sure it was sometime this year.

> >

> > I'm amazed that you've kept your objectivity and sense of humour.

> >

> > Best Wishes,

> > wally

> >

>

>

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Accurate impartial advice on everything from laptops to tablesaws.

>http://clickhere./click/1701

>

>

>

>eGroups.com Home: /group/12-step-free/

> - Simplifying group communications

>

>

>

______________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

The situation is a bit different for women. Women are more at risk for

disease and pregnancy when engaging in sex. If unwanted pregnancy

should occur, the choice to abort or keep the child is not an easy one.

The decision to abort or give a child up for adoption tends to haunt

women for the rest of their lives. Many times, their families will

shun them or label them as immoral for making such a decision. Keeping

an unplanned child changes a person's life drastically. Furthermore,

our culture labels overtly sexual women as sluts, tramps and whores. No

such words exist to describe men who are overtly sexual. Thus the same

sexual promiscuity is a " victory " for men and a " loss " for women. The

most highly regarded woman in the mythology of our culture... the

" Virgin " is attached a value assessment based on the fact that

she's untouched sexually. Can you as a man imagine being more highly

valued because you haven't been " touched " sexually? These double

standards are so deeply embedded in our culture, that it goes by

without a blink of an eye. So you see, the price for engaging in

meaningless sex is not exactly the same for men as it is for women. I

never understood why those guys who advertise for meaningless sex just

don't go do each other. I mean, after a couple of drinks and the use

of a dimly lit room, maybe they wouldn't be able to tell the

difference. Heck, I remember in San Francisco seeing these completely

drunk guys in the bars, going home with the " women " they picked up whom

everyone knew weren't women at all, but transsexuals. But no one had

the guts to tell the poor drunk guy, so they just let them leave

together.

Apple

jim hankins " wrote:

original article:/group/12-step-free/?start=9906

> Apple: Everyone knows women will just never " get it " as far as the

> therapeutic and spiritual value of meaningless sex is concerned. I

> mean, I posted an ad for meaningless sex on one of those personals

> boards several weeks ago and haven't gotten a single reply, except for

> one response from some woman who claims to be setting up a male escort

> service! On the other hand, I'll bet every woman who runs a personal

ad

> gets inundated. Life is so unfair!

>

[Guest guest]

The situation is a bit different for women. Women are more at risk for

disease and pregnancy when engaging in sex. If unwanted pregnancy

should occur, the choice to abort or keep the child is not an easy one.

The decision to abort or give a child up for adoption tends to haunt

women for the rest of their lives. Many times, their families will

shun them or label them as immoral for making such a decision. Keeping

an unplanned child changes a person's life drastically. Furthermore,

our culture labels overtly sexual women as sluts, tramps and whores. No

such words exist to describe men who are overtly sexual. Thus the same

sexual promiscuity is a " victory " for men and a " loss " for women. The

most highly regarded woman in the mythology of our culture... the

" Virgin " is attached a value assessment based on the fact that

she's untouched sexually. Can you as a man imagine being more highly

valued because you haven't been " touched " sexually? These double

standards are so deeply embedded in our culture, that it goes by

without a blink of an eye. So you see, the price for engaging in

meaningless sex is not exactly the same for men as it is for women. I

never understood why those guys who advertise for meaningless sex just

don't go do each other. I mean, after a couple of drinks and the use

of a dimly lit room, maybe they wouldn't be able to tell the

difference. Heck, I remember in San Francisco seeing these completely

drunk guys in the bars, going home with the " women " they picked up whom

everyone knew weren't women at all, but transsexuals. But no one had

the guts to tell the poor drunk guy, so they just let them leave

together.

Apple

jim hankins " wrote:

original article:/group/12-step-free/?start=9906

> Apple: Everyone knows women will just never " get it " as far as the

> therapeutic and spiritual value of meaningless sex is concerned. I

> mean, I posted an ad for meaningless sex on one of those personals

> boards several weeks ago and haven't gotten a single reply, except for

> one response from some woman who claims to be setting up a male escort

> service! On the other hand, I'll bet every woman who runs a personal

ad

> gets inundated. Life is so unfair!

>

[Guest guest]

The situation is a bit different for women. Women are more at risk for

disease and pregnancy when engaging in sex. If unwanted pregnancy

should occur, the choice to abort or keep the child is not an easy one.

The decision to abort or give a child up for adoption tends to haunt

women for the rest of their lives. Many times, their families will

shun them or label them as immoral for making such a decision. Keeping

an unplanned child changes a person's life drastically. Furthermore,

our culture labels overtly sexual women as sluts, tramps and whores. No

such words exist to describe men who are overtly sexual. Thus the same

sexual promiscuity is a " victory " for men and a " loss " for women. The

most highly regarded woman in the mythology of our culture... the

" Virgin " is attached a value assessment based on the fact that

she's untouched sexually. Can you as a man imagine being more highly

valued because you haven't been " touched " sexually? These double

standards are so deeply embedded in our culture, that it goes by

without a blink of an eye. So you see, the price for engaging in

meaningless sex is not exactly the same for men as it is for women. I

never understood why those guys who advertise for meaningless sex just

don't go do each other. I mean, after a couple of drinks and the use

of a dimly lit room, maybe they wouldn't be able to tell the

difference. Heck, I remember in San Francisco seeing these completely

drunk guys in the bars, going home with the " women " they picked up whom

everyone knew weren't women at all, but transsexuals. But no one had

the guts to tell the poor drunk guy, so they just let them leave

together.

Apple

jim hankins " wrote:

original article:/group/12-step-free/?start=9906

> Apple: Everyone knows women will just never " get it " as far as the

> therapeutic and spiritual value of meaningless sex is concerned. I

> mean, I posted an ad for meaningless sex on one of those personals

> boards several weeks ago and haven't gotten a single reply, except for

> one response from some woman who claims to be setting up a male escort

> service! On the other hand, I'll bet every woman who runs a personal

ad

> gets inundated. Life is so unfair!

>

[Guest guest]

Apple: you're right, of course. The stupid double standard causes

untold grief and virtually assures that huge chunks of the population,

male and female, will probably never link up with a soulmate. Sometimes

I wish the government would get involved an set up an agency for lonely

single people to get together for safe physical contact or

companionship without having to play all the silly social games. But

that would be rather " Brave New World " -ish I fear. Well, I tried Great

Expectations and that was a ripoff. Personal ads seem to be a bust as

well.

[Guest guest]

Apple: you're right, of course. The stupid double standard causes

untold grief and virtually assures that huge chunks of the population,

male and female, will probably never link up with a soulmate. Sometimes

I wish the government would get involved an set up an agency for lonely

single people to get together for safe physical contact or

companionship without having to play all the silly social games. But

that would be rather " Brave New World " -ish I fear. Well, I tried Great

Expectations and that was a ripoff. Personal ads seem to be a bust as

well.

[Guest guest]

Apple: you're right, of course. The stupid double standard causes

untold grief and virtually assures that huge chunks of the population,

male and female, will probably never link up with a soulmate. Sometimes

I wish the government would get involved an set up an agency for lonely

single people to get together for safe physical contact or

companionship without having to play all the silly social games. But

that would be rather " Brave New World " -ish I fear. Well, I tried Great

Expectations and that was a ripoff. Personal ads seem to be a bust as

well.

[Guest guest]

I think they have such places in Nevada or Reno. I don't know, but

most women I know don't like to be used for meaningless sex. It could

be a gender thing, but I for one, can't separate my emotions from the

act without a large dose of Tegretol.

Apple

" jim hankins " wrote:

original article:/group/12-step-free/?start=9922

> Apple: you're right, of course. The stupid double standard causes

> untold grief and virtually assures that huge chunks of the population,

> male and female, will probably never link up with a soulmate.

Sometimes

> I wish the government would get involved an set up an agency for

lonely

> single people to get together for safe physical contact or

> companionship without having to play all the silly social games. But

> that would be rather " Brave New World " -ish I fear. Well, I tried Great

> Expectations and that was a ripoff. Personal ads seem to be a bust as

> well.

>