Guest guest Posted October 8, 2004 Report Share Posted October 8, 2004 > > > Home Remedies > > > > 1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of > > boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost > > instantly > > removed > > > > 2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting > > someone else to hold them while you chop away. > > > > 3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply > > using the sink. > > > > 4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for > > awhile, > > thus reducing the pressure in your veins. > > > > 5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from > > rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button. > > > > 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will > > be > > afraid to cough. > > > > 7. Have a bad tooth ache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will > > forget > > about the tooth ache.. > > > > AND..... Sometimes we just need to remember what The Rules of Life really > > are: > > > > You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it > > should, use WD-40 If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape. > > > > Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. > > > > If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance! > > > > And finally... Be really good to your family and friends. You never know > > when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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