anyone who prays/OHSU appt.

June 28, 1999

Tomorrow is Tylynn & Kody's appt. with OHSU Metabolic clinic and I need all the

prayers I can get. So without offending those of you who don't believe in prayer

may I please ask that those who do remember I have little in my home from

the severe abuse which led to his suicide attempt in April (age 4) which

resulted from his mom's problems and her not being able to deal with this

extremely ADHD (suspected mito) little boy. If we can get a diagnosis starting

with Tylynn & Kody and then for we can perhaps file for custody of the 2

grandsons on the grounds that she cannot care for special needs children. It

would also help the other grandchildren get the care they need to hopefully live

lives of peace, etc. and stop the awful cycles in our family.

I am very tired to the point of almost can't go on and things like their mom

telling the Dr. today that the CoQ10 and the lipoic acid I had on quit

working instead of the truth that she just quit giving them to him are pushing

me over the edge. Keeping up a fight to try to help treat this little guy and

the other grandkids (me knowing what is wrong but the kids not understanding or

believing it or themselves not being well enough to help the grandchildren) is

feeling like a salmon swimming upstream and slamming into the gates! I need the

medical help and I need it now.

Spiritual talk follows:

I've been telling God I'm done, finished, can't go on for several days. I even

told my husband, " I hope He knows I mean it! "

Then this morning a car ran a red light about 50+ MPH and came within inches of

slamming me right in the door with Andy's carseat also being on the left side.

It would have killed us instantly I think. I sat and shook. I had the distinct

feeling of being " told " Look, you're done when I say you're done and not before.

I could take you out in an instant if I choose, but you are NOT done so just

gather up some more strength from somewhere and get this search for an answer

done. You've GOT to get thru tomorrow! It gave me chills to think it.

So I guess I'll ask for strength from the group. You're all sitting in the same

place and you all know in a deep way that no one who has not gone thru this

couldn't possibly know or imagine.

Thank you, S.

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