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Dear Matt,

I think I know where you are coming from, given my own experiences, and I would

like to say that one of the most important things I ever learned is that I am

just not very important to most people. They are not going to focus on me as

intently as my mother had done, and so will not find fault with me as she did.

A corollary to this is that other people will appreciate me being nice to them.

They're not going to react by accusing me of wanting money, or being crazy, or

whatever it is that your father does.

Another thing that you might consider is that many people may suffer from the

same insecurities that you do. Perhaps not to the same extent -- nevertheless,

a kind word from you (not the terrible " you " that your father has created and

that you have to a large degree apparently accepted, but the you they perceive,

who doesn't have any particular obvious deficits) may go a long way to relieve

those insecurities.

Another corollary -- your father isn't that important either. You probably

wouldn't be able to find him in a crowd.

I hope you don't think I am being heartless or unsympathetic, because these

realizations helped me a lot when I was dealing with a similar situation.

By all means find another job. But also realize that other people may be as

afraid of other people as you are.

---

Kayleigh

Zz

zZ

|\ z _,,,---,,_

/,`.-'`' _ ;-;;,_

|,4- ) )-,_..;\ ( `'-'

'---''(_/--' `-'\_)

>Hi all. The title is a joke. I just wanted to tell everyone I'm feeling a

>little bit better. I feel like I'm settling down a little. I'm still

>having a lot of fears around people. But I've been trying really hard to

>not be so hard on myself for every dumb thing I do.

> My main focus right now is finding another job. All else is

>secondary. In the past three months, since taking this job, I've seen my

>level of self care go down to nothing. I've been neglecting a lot of

>things, just giving up in a way. And I'm trying to get my confidence back.

>I think the main problem is when I get around perfectionist control freaks

>(like my Dad or boss) I lose myself. I start to try to please them and

>forget who I am.

> If anyone wants a good example rent a movie called " Affliction " with

>Nick Nolte. In it, he plays a character haunted by his abusive, controlling

>father even as 45 year old adult. He is unable to connect with women or his

>kid. And he has a thankless job and abusive boss. The movie explains that

>the Nolte character has so much trouble because he has no perception to

>return to when his father verbally abuses him. Its all he's ever know. So

>for him the abuse is normal. Its comfortable.

> That's the boat I'm in. I wrote myself a note last night and hung it

>on a wall saying, " You deserve better. " One of the reasons I hide a lot

>from society is out of self preservation. I've known how vulnerable I am to

>ill-intentioned people. That's why I try to avoid them. Unfortunatlely, by

>cutting out everybody I not only avoid the bad, but also the good.

> Matt

>

>______________________________________________________

>

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>A shoppers dream come true! Find practically anything on earth at eBay!

>Come and browse the more than 2 million items up for bid at any time.

>You never know what you might find at eBay!

>http://clickhere./click/1140

>

>-- Talk to your group with your own voice!

>-- /VoiceChatPage?listName=12-step-free & m=1

>

>

>

--== Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ ==--

Share what you know. Learn what you don't.

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Dear Matt,

I think I know where you are coming from, given my own experiences, and I would

like to say that one of the most important things I ever learned is that I am

just not very important to most people. They are not going to focus on me as

intently as my mother had done, and so will not find fault with me as she did.

A corollary to this is that other people will appreciate me being nice to them.

They're not going to react by accusing me of wanting money, or being crazy, or

whatever it is that your father does.

Another thing that you might consider is that many people may suffer from the

same insecurities that you do. Perhaps not to the same extent -- nevertheless,

a kind word from you (not the terrible " you " that your father has created and

that you have to a large degree apparently accepted, but the you they perceive,

who doesn't have any particular obvious deficits) may go a long way to relieve

those insecurities.

Another corollary -- your father isn't that important either. You probably

wouldn't be able to find him in a crowd.

I hope you don't think I am being heartless or unsympathetic, because these

realizations helped me a lot when I was dealing with a similar situation.

By all means find another job. But also realize that other people may be as

afraid of other people as you are.

---

Kayleigh

Zz

zZ

|\ z _,,,---,,_

/,`.-'`' _ ;-;;,_

|,4- ) )-,_..;\ ( `'-'

'---''(_/--' `-'\_)

>Hi all. The title is a joke. I just wanted to tell everyone I'm feeling a

>little bit better. I feel like I'm settling down a little. I'm still

>having a lot of fears around people. But I've been trying really hard to

>not be so hard on myself for every dumb thing I do.

> My main focus right now is finding another job. All else is

>secondary. In the past three months, since taking this job, I've seen my

>level of self care go down to nothing. I've been neglecting a lot of

>things, just giving up in a way. And I'm trying to get my confidence back.

>I think the main problem is when I get around perfectionist control freaks

>(like my Dad or boss) I lose myself. I start to try to please them and

>forget who I am.

> If anyone wants a good example rent a movie called " Affliction " with

>Nick Nolte. In it, he plays a character haunted by his abusive, controlling

>father even as 45 year old adult. He is unable to connect with women or his

>kid. And he has a thankless job and abusive boss. The movie explains that

>the Nolte character has so much trouble because he has no perception to

>return to when his father verbally abuses him. Its all he's ever know. So

>for him the abuse is normal. Its comfortable.

> That's the boat I'm in. I wrote myself a note last night and hung it

>on a wall saying, " You deserve better. " One of the reasons I hide a lot

>from society is out of self preservation. I've known how vulnerable I am to

>ill-intentioned people. That's why I try to avoid them. Unfortunatlely, by

>cutting out everybody I not only avoid the bad, but also the good.

> Matt

>

>______________________________________________________

>

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>A shoppers dream come true! Find practically anything on earth at eBay!

>Come and browse the more than 2 million items up for bid at any time.

>You never know what you might find at eBay!

>http://clickhere./click/1140

>

>-- Talk to your group with your own voice!

>-- /VoiceChatPage?listName=12-step-free & m=1

>

>

>

--== Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ ==--

Share what you know. Learn what you don't.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks Kayleigh. I agreed with pretty much everything in your reply.

Especially the part about how everybody has insecurities and worries in

life. What drives me nuts, is when people will not admit they have

problems. Recently, my Grandfather told me, " Matt, you would know about

depression but I wouldn't know anything about it. And I don't want to hear

about it. "

You see, its that kind of statement that makes me feel special, like a

victim. And my family does that very well. The only difference between me

and my family is I dare to talk about my problems. They won't acknowledge

they have any.

And I agree that my problems seem big, within my family, but to the

outside the world they are miniscule. That's the madness of goofed up

families. I think one of the reasons AA turned me on in the beginning was I

could go somewhere and have a room of people listen to my problems. And

they would make me feel special and unique.

And most of all AA told me what I wanted to hear: " you are not like

other people. " The thing my family had been telling me my whole life. AA

always has made me feel a dangerous mix of self pity and arrogance. Self

pity because I'm diseased and different, arrogance because I'm special and

not like everyone else.

Matt

>

>Reply-To: 12-step-freeegroups

>To: 12-step-freeegroups

>Subject: Re: Desperation, Inc.

>Date: Mon, 15 Nov 1999 19:10:56 -0800

>

>Dear Matt,

>

>I think I know where you are coming from, given my own experiences, and I

>would like to say that one of the most important things I ever learned is

>that I am just not very important to most people. They are not going to

>focus on me as intently as my mother had done, and so will not find fault

>with me as she did. A corollary to this is that other people will

>appreciate me being nice to them. They're not going to react by accusing

>me of wanting money, or being crazy, or whatever it is that your father

>does.

>

>Another thing that you might consider is that many people may suffer from

>the same insecurities that you do. Perhaps not to the same extent --

>nevertheless, a kind word from you (not the terrible " you " that your father

>has created and that you have to a large degree apparently accepted, but

>the you they perceive, who doesn't have any particular obvious deficits)

>may go a long way to relieve those insecurities.

>

>Another corollary -- your father isn't that important either. You probably

>wouldn't be able to find him in a crowd.

>

>I hope you don't think I am being heartless or unsympathetic, because these

>realizations helped me a lot when I was dealing with a similar situation.

>

>By all means find another job. But also realize that other people may be

>as afraid of other people as you are.

>---

>Kayleigh

>

> Zz

> zZ

> |\ z _,,,---,,_

> /,`.-'`' _ ;-;;,_

> |,4- ) )-,_..;\ ( `'-'

> '---''(_/--' `-'\_)

>

>

>

>

> >Hi all. The title is a joke. I just wanted to tell everyone I'm feeling

>a

> >little bit better. I feel like I'm settling down a little. I'm still

> >having a lot of fears around people. But I've been trying really hard to

> >not be so hard on myself for every dumb thing I do.

> > My main focus right now is finding another job. All else is

> >secondary. In the past three months, since taking this job, I've seen my

> >level of self care go down to nothing. I've been neglecting a lot of

> >things, just giving up in a way. And I'm trying to get my confidence

>back.

> >I think the main problem is when I get around perfectionist control

>freaks

> >(like my Dad or boss) I lose myself. I start to try to please them and

> >forget who I am.

> > If anyone wants a good example rent a movie called " Affliction "

>with

> >Nick Nolte. In it, he plays a character haunted by his abusive,

>controlling

> >father even as 45 year old adult. He is unable to connect with women or

>his

> >kid. And he has a thankless job and abusive boss. The movie explains

>that

> >the Nolte character has so much trouble because he has no perception to

> >return to when his father verbally abuses him. Its all he's ever know.

>So

> >for him the abuse is normal. Its comfortable.

> > That's the boat I'm in. I wrote myself a note last night and hung

>it

> >on a wall saying, " You deserve better. " One of the reasons I hide a lot

> >from society is out of self preservation. I've known how vulnerable I am

>to

> >ill-intentioned people. That's why I try to avoid them. Unfortunatlely,

>by

> >cutting out everybody I not only avoid the bad, but also the good.

> > Matt

> >

> >______________________________________________________

> >

> >------------------------------------------------------------------------

> >A shoppers dream come true! Find practically anything on earth at eBay!

> >Come and browse the more than 2 million items up for bid at any time.

> >You never know what you might find at eBay!

> >http://clickhere./click/1140

> >

> >-- Talk to your group with your own voice!

> >-- /VoiceChatPage?listName=12-step-free & m=1

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>--== Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ ==--

>Share what you know. Learn what you don't.

>

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>In the market for computer hardware or software? Compare prices on

>more that 100,000 products at CNET.com. Get all the latest news,

>reviews and prices! http://clickhere./click/1614

>

>

>

>-- 20 megs of disk space in your group's Document Vault

>-- /docvault/12-step-free/?m=1

>

>

>

______________________________________________________

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Share on other sites

Hi, Matt.

" Hi all. The title is a joke. I just wanted to tell everyone I'm feeling a

little bit better. I feel like I'm settling down a little. I'm still having

a lot of fears around people. But I've been trying really hard to not be so

hard on myself for every dumb thing I do. "

Why not try focussing on everything you do right, maybe making a " top five "

list every day of things you did correctly? After awhile the " mistakes " might

become more like things you could do better, or lessons instead of crimes.

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Hi Matt

These are very much my problems too. Real love is out there, and the

bullies are paper tigers. Take care my friend.

Pete

" md matt " wrote:

original article:/group/12-step-free/?start=9386

> Hi all. The title is a joke. I just wanted to tell everyone I'm

feeling a

> little bit better. I feel like I'm settling down a little. I'm

still

> having a lot of fears around people. But I've been trying really

hard to

> not be so hard on myself for every dumb thing I do.

> My main focus right now is finding another job. All else is

> secondary. In the past three months, since taking this job, I've

seen my

> level of self care go down to nothing. I've been neglecting a lot of

> things, just giving up in a way. And I'm trying to get my confidence

back.

> I think the main problem is when I get around perfectionist control

freaks

> (like my Dad or boss) I lose myself. I start to try to please them

and

> forget who I am.

> If anyone wants a good example rent a movie called " Affliction "

with

> Nick Nolte. In it, he plays a character haunted by his abusive,

controlling

> father even as 45 year old adult. He is unable to connect with women

or his

> kid. And he has a thankless job and abusive boss. The movie

explains that

> the Nolte character has so much trouble because he has no perception

to

> return to when his father verbally abuses him. Its all he's ever

know. So

> for him the abuse is normal. Its comfortable.

> That's the boat I'm in. I wrote myself a note last night and

hung it

> on a wall saying, " You deserve better. " One of the reasons I hide a

lot

> from society is out of self preservation. I've known how vulnerable

I am to

> ill-intentioned people. That's why I try to avoid them.

Unfortunatlely, by

> cutting out everybody I not only avoid the bad, but also the good.

> Matt

>

> ______________________________________________________

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Matt

These are very much my problems too. Real love is out there, and the

bullies are paper tigers. Take care my friend.

Pete

" md matt " wrote:

original article:/group/12-step-free/?start=9386

> Hi all. The title is a joke. I just wanted to tell everyone I'm

feeling a

> little bit better. I feel like I'm settling down a little. I'm

still

> having a lot of fears around people. But I've been trying really

hard to

> not be so hard on myself for every dumb thing I do.

> My main focus right now is finding another job. All else is

> secondary. In the past three months, since taking this job, I've

seen my

> level of self care go down to nothing. I've been neglecting a lot of

> things, just giving up in a way. And I'm trying to get my confidence

back.

> I think the main problem is when I get around perfectionist control

freaks

> (like my Dad or boss) I lose myself. I start to try to please them

and

> forget who I am.

> If anyone wants a good example rent a movie called " Affliction "

with

> Nick Nolte. In it, he plays a character haunted by his abusive,

controlling

> father even as 45 year old adult. He is unable to connect with women

or his

> kid. And he has a thankless job and abusive boss. The movie

explains that

> the Nolte character has so much trouble because he has no perception

to

> return to when his father verbally abuses him. Its all he's ever

know. So

> for him the abuse is normal. Its comfortable.

> That's the boat I'm in. I wrote myself a note last night and

hung it

> on a wall saying, " You deserve better. " One of the reasons I hide a

lot

> from society is out of self preservation. I've known how vulnerable

I am to

> ill-intentioned people. That's why I try to avoid them.

Unfortunatlely, by

> cutting out everybody I not only avoid the bad, but also the good.

> Matt

>

> ______________________________________________________

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I believe many people can be depressed and not realize it because it feels

" normal " to them. Perhaps your grandfather falls into that category.

---

Kayleigh

Zz

zZ

|\ z _,,,---,,_

/,`.-'`' _ ;-;;,_

|,4- ) )-,_..;\ ( `'-'

'---''(_/--' `-'\_)

>Thanks Kayleigh. I agreed with pretty much everything in your reply.

>Especially the part about how everybody has insecurities and worries in

>life. What drives me nuts, is when people will not admit they have

>problems. Recently, my Grandfather told me, " Matt, you would know about

>depression but I wouldn't know anything about it. And I don't want to hear

>about it. "

> You see, its that kind of statement that makes me feel special, like a

>victim. And my family does that very well. The only difference between me

>and my family is I dare to talk about my problems. They won't acknowledge

>they have any.

> And I agree that my problems seem big, within my family, but to the

>outside the world they are miniscule. That's the madness of goofed up

>families. I think one of the reasons AA turned me on in the beginning was I

>could go somewhere and have a room of people listen to my problems. And

>they would make me feel special and unique.

> And most of all AA told me what I wanted to hear: " you are not like

>other people. " The thing my family had been telling me my whole life. AA

>always has made me feel a dangerous mix of self pity and arrogance. Self

>pity because I'm diseased and different, arrogance because I'm special and

>not like everyone else.

>Matt

>

>

>>

>>Reply-To: 12-step-freeegroups

>>To: 12-step-freeegroups

>>Subject: Re: Desperation, Inc.

>>Date: Mon, 15 Nov 1999 19:10:56 -0800

>>

>>Dear Matt,

>>

>>I think I know where you are coming from, given my own experiences, and I

>>would like to say that one of the most important things I ever learned is

>>that I am just not very important to most people. They are not going to

>>focus on me as intently as my mother had done, and so will not find fault

>>with me as she did. A corollary to this is that other people will

>>appreciate me being nice to them. They're not going to react by accusing

>>me of wanting money, or being crazy, or whatever it is that your father

>>does.

>>

>>Another thing that you might consider is that many people may suffer from

>>the same insecurities that you do. Perhaps not to the same extent --

>>nevertheless, a kind word from you (not the terrible " you " that your father

>>has created and that you have to a large degree apparently accepted, but

>>the you they perceive, who doesn't have any particular obvious deficits)

>>may go a long way to relieve those insecurities.

>>

>>Another corollary -- your father isn't that important either. You probably

>>wouldn't be able to find him in a crowd.

>>

>>I hope you don't think I am being heartless or unsympathetic, because these

>>realizations helped me a lot when I was dealing with a similar situation.

>>

>>By all means find another job. But also realize that other people may be

>>as afraid of other people as you are.

>>---

>>Kayleigh

>>

>> Zz

>> zZ

>> |\ z _,,,---,,_

>> /,`.-'`' _ ;-;;,_

>> |,4- ) )-,_..;\ ( `'-'

>> '---''(_/--' `-'\_)

>>

>>

>>

>>

>> >Hi all. The title is a joke. I just wanted to tell everyone I'm feeling

>>a

>> >little bit better. I feel like I'm settling down a little. I'm still

>> >having a lot of fears around people. But I've been trying really hard to

>> >not be so hard on myself for every dumb thing I do.

>> > My main focus right now is finding another job. All else is

>> >secondary. In the past three months, since taking this job, I've seen my

>> >level of self care go down to nothing. I've been neglecting a lot of

>> >things, just giving up in a way. And I'm trying to get my confidence

>>back.

>> >I think the main problem is when I get around perfectionist control

>>freaks

>> >(like my Dad or boss) I lose myself. I start to try to please them and

>> >forget who I am.

>> > If anyone wants a good example rent a movie called " Affliction "

>>with

>> >Nick Nolte. In it, he plays a character haunted by his abusive,

>>controlling

>> >father even as 45 year old adult. He is unable to connect with women or

>>his

>> >kid. And he has a thankless job and abusive boss. The movie explains

>>that

>> >the Nolte character has so much trouble because he has no perception to

>> >return to when his father verbally abuses him. Its all he's ever know.

>>So

>> >for him the abuse is normal. Its comfortable.

>> > That's the boat I'm in. I wrote myself a note last night and hung

>>it

>> >on a wall saying, " You deserve better. " One of the reasons I hide a lot

>> >from society is out of self preservation. I've known how vulnerable I am

>>to

>> >ill-intentioned people. That's why I try to avoid them. Unfortunatlely,

>>by

>> >cutting out everybody I not only avoid the bad, but also the good.

>> > Matt

>> >

>> >______________________________________________________

>> >

>> >------------------------------------------------------------------------

>> >A shoppers dream come true! Find practically anything on earth at eBay!

>> >Come and browse the more than 2 million items up for bid at any time.

>> >You never know what you might find at eBay!

>> >http://clickhere./click/1140

>> >

>> >-- Talk to your group with your own voice!

>> >-- /VoiceChatPage?listName=12-step-free & m=1

>> >

>> >

>> >

>>

>>

>>--== Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ ==--

>>Share what you know. Learn what you don't.

>>

>>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>>In the market for computer hardware or software? Compare prices on

>>more that 100,000 products at CNET.com. Get all the latest news,

>>reviews and prices! http://clickhere./click/1614

>>

>>

>>

>>-- 20 megs of disk space in your group's Document Vault

>>-- /docvault/12-step-free/?m=1

>>

>>

>>

>

>______________________________________________________

>

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>A shoppers dream come true! Find practically anything on earth at eBay!

>Come and browse the more than 2 million items up for bid at any time.

>You never know what you might find at eBay!

>http://clickhere./click/1140

>

>-- Talk to your group with your own voice!

>-- /VoiceChatPage?listName=12-step-free & m=1

>

>

>

--== Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ ==--

Share what you know. Learn what you don't.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

True enough. I see him as a miserable s.o.b and couldn't imagine living his

life. But he sees his life as normal.

Matt

>

>Reply-To: 12-step-freeegroups

>To: 12-step-freeegroups

>Subject: Re: Desperation, Inc.

>Date: Wed, 17 Nov 1999 19:40:28 -0800

>

>I believe many people can be depressed and not realize it because it feels

> " normal " to them. Perhaps your grandfather falls into that category.

>---

>Kayleigh

>

> Zz

> zZ

> |\ z _,,,---,,_

> /,`.-'`' _ ;-;;,_

> |,4- ) )-,_..;\ ( `'-'

> '---''(_/--' `-'\_)

>

>

>

>

> >Thanks Kayleigh. I agreed with pretty much everything in your reply.

> >Especially the part about how everybody has insecurities and worries in

> >life. What drives me nuts, is when people will not admit they have

> >problems. Recently, my Grandfather told me, " Matt, you would know about

> >depression but I wouldn't know anything about it. And I don't want to

>hear

> >about it. "

> > You see, its that kind of statement that makes me feel special,

>like a

> >victim. And my family does that very well. The only difference between

>me

> >and my family is I dare to talk about my problems. They won't

>acknowledge

> >they have any.

> > And I agree that my problems seem big, within my family, but to the

> >outside the world they are miniscule. That's the madness of goofed up

> >families. I think one of the reasons AA turned me on in the beginning

>was I

> >could go somewhere and have a room of people listen to my problems. And

> >they would make me feel special and unique.

> > And most of all AA told me what I wanted to hear: " you are not like

> >other people. " The thing my family had been telling me my whole life.

>AA

> >always has made me feel a dangerous mix of self pity and arrogance. Self

> >pity because I'm diseased and different, arrogance because I'm special

>and

> >not like everyone else.

> >Matt

> >

> >

> >>

> >>Reply-To: 12-step-freeegroups

> >>To: 12-step-freeegroups

> >>Subject: Re: Desperation, Inc.

> >>Date: Mon, 15 Nov 1999 19:10:56 -0800

> >>

> >>Dear Matt,

> >>

> >>I think I know where you are coming from, given my own experiences, and

>I

> >>would like to say that one of the most important things I ever learned

>is

> >>that I am just not very important to most people. They are not going to

> >>focus on me as intently as my mother had done, and so will not find

>fault

> >>with me as she did. A corollary to this is that other people will

> >>appreciate me being nice to them. They're not going to react by

>accusing

> >>me of wanting money, or being crazy, or whatever it is that your father

> >>does.

> >>

> >>Another thing that you might consider is that many people may suffer

>from

> >>the same insecurities that you do. Perhaps not to the same extent --

> >>nevertheless, a kind word from you (not the terrible " you " that your

>father

> >>has created and that you have to a large degree apparently accepted, but

> >>the you they perceive, who doesn't have any particular obvious deficits)

> >>may go a long way to relieve those insecurities.

> >>

> >>Another corollary -- your father isn't that important either. You

>probably

> >>wouldn't be able to find him in a crowd.

> >>

> >>I hope you don't think I am being heartless or unsympathetic, because

>these

> >>realizations helped me a lot when I was dealing with a similar

>situation.

> >>

> >>By all means find another job. But also realize that other people may

>be

> >>as afraid of other people as you are.

> >>---

> >>Kayleigh

> >>

> >> Zz

> >> zZ

> >> |\ z _,,,---,,_

> >> /,`.-'`' _ ;-;;,_

> >> |,4- ) )-,_..;\ ( `'-'

> >> '---''(_/--' `-'\_)

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >> >Hi all. The title is a joke. I just wanted to tell everyone I'm

>feeling

> >>a

> >> >little bit better. I feel like I'm settling down a little. I'm still

> >> >having a lot of fears around people. But I've been trying really hard

>to

> >> >not be so hard on myself for every dumb thing I do.

> >> > My main focus right now is finding another job. All else is

> >> >secondary. In the past three months, since taking this job, I've seen

>my

> >> >level of self care go down to nothing. I've been neglecting a lot of

> >> >things, just giving up in a way. And I'm trying to get my confidence

> >>back.

> >> >I think the main problem is when I get around perfectionist control

> >>freaks

> >> >(like my Dad or boss) I lose myself. I start to try to please them

>and

> >> >forget who I am.

> >> > If anyone wants a good example rent a movie called " Affliction "

> >>with

> >> >Nick Nolte. In it, he plays a character haunted by his abusive,

> >>controlling

> >> >father even as 45 year old adult. He is unable to connect with women

>or

> >>his

> >> >kid. And he has a thankless job and abusive boss. The movie explains

> >>that

> >> >the Nolte character has so much trouble because he has no perception

>to

> >> >return to when his father verbally abuses him. Its all he's ever

>know.

> >>So

> >> >for him the abuse is normal. Its comfortable.

> >> > That's the boat I'm in. I wrote myself a note last night and

>hung

> >>it

> >> >on a wall saying, " You deserve better. " One of the reasons I hide a

>lot

> >> >from society is out of self preservation. I've known how vulnerable I

>am

> >>to

> >> >ill-intentioned people. That's why I try to avoid them.

>Unfortunatlely,

> >>by

> >> >cutting out everybody I not only avoid the bad, but also the good.

> >> > Matt

> >> >

> >> >______________________________________________________

> >> >

> >>

> >------------------------------------------------------------------------

> >> >A shoppers dream come true! Find practically anything on earth at

>eBay!

> >> >Come and browse the more than 2 million items up for bid at any time.

> >> >You never know what you might find at eBay!

> >> >http://clickhere./click/1140

> >> >

> >> >-- Talk to your group with your own voice!

> >> >-- /VoiceChatPage?listName=12-step-free & m=1

> >> >

> >> >

> >> >

> >>

> >>

> >>--== Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ ==--

> >>Share what you know. Learn what you don't.

> >>

> >>------------------------------------------------------------------------

> >>In the market for computer hardware or software? Compare prices on

> >>more that 100,000 products at CNET.com. Get all the latest news,

> >>reviews and prices! http://clickhere./click/1614

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>-- 20 megs of disk space in your group's Document Vault

> >>-- /docvault/12-step-free/?m=1

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >

> >______________________________________________________

> >

> >------------------------------------------------------------------------

> >A shoppers dream come true! Find practically anything on earth at eBay!

> >Come and browse the more than 2 million items up for bid at any time.

> >You never know what you might find at eBay!

> >http://clickhere./click/1140

> >

> >-- Talk to your group with your own voice!

> >-- /VoiceChatPage?listName=12-step-free & m=1

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>--== Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ ==--

>Share what you know. Learn what you don't.

>

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Looking for the latest consumer electronic gadgets or computer

>equipment? eBay has thousands of audio equipment, computer

>games & accessories. You never know what you might find at eBay!

>http://clickhere./click/1142

>

>-- Talk to your group with your own voice!

>-- /VoiceChatPage?listName=12-step-free & m=1

>

>

>

______________________________________________________

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