AA and suicide

[Guest guest]

I've got kind of a sad story. Over the weekend, my aunt attempted suicide.

She drank rat poison and then jumped off a bridge downtown. Someone saw her

and rescued her from drowning. She's in the hospital now and is expected to

make a full recovery. As you might imagine, this incident has made me

re-think some things about my life. You see, I also had an uncle commit

suicide several years ago. I've begun to realize that I most likely have a

genetic disposition towards depression. So, I've begun taking medication

again. I do so because I'm afraid of where my emotional problems might lead

me. I never have attempted suicide but I've come pretty damn close. So

not taking meds is just too risky for me.

The back story on my aunt is very disheartening. Several months

ago, after a drug overdose and rehab, she quit everything: alcohol, drugs,

cigarettes and antidepressants. She was totally drug free. She got a

sponsor, went to meetings, joined a religious activities group and moved

back home with her folks. She tried to get government assistance to go back

to school and work.

I talked to her about a month ago and she said she was really worried

about not taking antidepressants. She said everyone (counselor, parents,

sponsor) told her not to take them for fear she would overdose. (overdose

on prozac! impossible.) But she really was working her ass off trying to do

the next right thing.

What nobody understands is she has a chemical imbalance that makes her

depressed. And no big book, god, or government program can help that go

away. So, last weekend she told me the pain got too great (not sleeping,

feeling so empty and hopeless) and she decided to end it all.

In my mind, this shows the danger of the AA's opposition to

psychiatric drugs. What AA never talks about is the number of its members

who commit suicide while sober. I knew a guy with 9 years of sobriety, who

went to meetings 5 days a week and who blew his brains out in a gas station

parking lot. When I talked to other members about it, they said 'he did it

because he hadn't called his sponsor in weeks.'

Its amazing how we as humans can rationalize things in our minds and

just dismiss horrible incidents. Nobody has the time to investigate why

things happen or how to prevent them. I've noticed the big book doesn't

have an appendix dedicated to members who killed themselves while in AA.

All they do is talk about all the success stories. " rarely have we seen a

person fail who has followed our path. " What a lie. Is there any proof

there?

I think general society would be stunned to find out how many people

go to AA, sincerely try the program and then either return to drink, kill

themselves or find another way to stay sober.

Why doesn't anyone talk about AA suicides? Its too scary. Members

don't want to discuss there fallen soldiers. They just want to talk about

the living member who seem to be doing well. That old saying, " if we forget

the past, we are doomed to repeat it " applies well to the AA mentality.

Easier softer way? There's got to be a better way. Thanks. Matt

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