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A Better Day

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Hi all! Thanks for your responses to my multiple postings Friday night. I

feel a lot a better today. Looking back, I was just having a bad night. By

bad I mean pretty scary. I've come to realize that the prozac is making me

feel better. And that scares the crap out of me. For about a year I've

been in so much physical and mental anguish I couldn't see straight. Now,

I'm feeling better. And I don't know what to do with myself!

That's the scary thing about depression or misery. I've almost

become dependent on my life being hell. So, in my post where I lashed out

at prozac and the world I was trying to go back. I wanted to go back to

what was familiar for me: feeling awful. Really, last night, I'd decided I

was going to stop prozac and return to AA, find a really mean sponsor and

just shut my mouth! Luckily, I realized tonight that I would be selling

myself short.

Anyway, thanks for being understanding. My hard work has just

begun. But I really want to fight for my happiness. I know its not gonna

be easy keeping with my meds and therapy. But I've got to stick with it.

Unless I want to be miserable forever. Matt

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