the middle ground

[Guest guest]

Points well taken, .

I also have been pondering the utility of focusing too much attention on

the opposition of AA. As a fellow PD sufferer, I know the importance of

trying to find the middle ground in a myriad of life situations. I also

know that as a Borderline, I need to try and see the shades of gray as

opposed to seeing everything as all good/ all bad.

I also realize that I am no longer able to take what I like and leave

the rest when it comes to AA. It's not like I just dislike the coffee or

a few of the people. Their philosophy is diametrically opposed to my

belief system. I cannot sit in a meeting for more than five minutes,

without becoming bored, irritated, or just feeling like a fraud for

being there.

Like you I tend to thrive in the context of a group. That aspect of AA

helped me and was very healing. I miss that. This discussion group

helps, but it is not a substitute for human contact and real intimacy.

It would be great if there was a network of support groups as wide

spread and numerous as AA, bereft of agendas and a need to pressure its

membership into submission.

Jack Trimpey of RR doesn't believe that a support group is necessary for

prolonged abstinence, and I agree to a point. I believe I can stay sober

regardless of the modality. I am also keenly aware that I do much better

when I am not living in a vacuum. I don't need people to get me sober,

but I do need people. At present I find myself between a rock and a hard

place. I am finding AA meetings untenable, and I do not have a

substantial friendship base outside of the program. Unfortunately it is

not a situation that is easily remedied over night. One positive aspect

of my decision to not ever attend another AA meeting, is that it is

forcing me to connect with the non- AA world which is truly the best

thing for me in the long run. I will end up with friendships based on

authenticity rather than conformity.

After a few months of AA deprogramming and venting, coupled with some

major social reconstruction, I'm looking forward to the best years of my

life. It's true, the camaraderie aspects of AA helped to ease my BPD,

but unfortunately I have found that overall for me it does more harm

than good. I am a person who tries not to throw the baby out with the

bath water.

I would love to take what I like and leave the rest. Unfortunately in my

case I cannot remove the toxic elements effectively enough to justify

attendance, and the treatment ends up killing the patient.

Again, thanks for your candor and valuable perspective.

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