Leaving College...

[Guest guest]

Hey everyone,

I made some HUGE strides this week. For one, I finally admitted to my friends,

mentors,

and roomates that I have an actual eating disorder.

After finally getting rid of that stress, I realized that I was unsure if

anything would

actually get better from there on out. Despite the fact that I no longer had to

feel

ashamed or secretive, I still felt...desparate. This morning I was in my poli

sci lecture and I

realized I needed to leave...I needed to get out of college and just have time

for me, my

body, and my two biggest supporters, my parents. My eating habits have been

continually

out of control during the past three months, even though I have attempted to

practice IE.

So, after almost bursting in tears in class, I made my way outside, called my

mom and dad,

and told her I was coming home. I needed to, and something was driving me in

that

direction.

So now I've submitted all the required forms and I've been slowly packing my

stuff up. I

feel so relieved to be going home, but at the same time I'm afraid that nothing

will change.

But I think it will. I have also recieved overwhelming amounts of support from

my friends

and I realize I am no longer fighting this battle alone. I also realized that

this eating

disorder has been exacserbated (spelling?) by my own battle with a very deep

clinical

depression. So. I'm going home until late March and I'm excited, scared,

worried, but

mostly hopeful.

I may not post on here as often as usual when I'm home, but I'm definetely going

to be

healing, and I'll keep all of you ladies updated. Pray for me, if you choose,

and I will

certainly keep every single one of you in my thoughts.

Have to keep reminding myself it IS okay to take time for me...

Here's to better days,

Jeri