Re: New member looking for support

[Guest guest]

,

I'm Tom and i'm a P.T.

Please go easy on yourself. THe root as you say cause is psychological but what

that really means is that the perpetuating factor may be anxiety and irrational

fear. Since many many people have anxiety and irrational

fears but do not have the vaginal problems you do, there is some underlying

cause or predisposition.

IN any case, some of the symptoms you are describing are from a tightened and

spasm pelvic floor and that can only make things worse.

Have you tried visualization, meditation, hypnotism or anti anxiety drugs?

Being calm and in control can really make a difference. Some times a glass of

wine and a warm bath with candles in a quite environment can reduce the spasm

and the mental outlook can improve dramatically.

Anyway, just some suggestions and a perspective on your plight. Stress releases

cortizol and long term cortizol release decreases the immune system and increase

inflammatory responses. So being in control can really make a difference.

Good luck and don't be afraid to ask for all the help you need...this board is

tremendous

TKOPT

www.tomocklerpt.com

beckynyc wrote:

> Hi! I posted on the vaginismus boards...to realize that what I have

> probably isn't vaginismus...because I've had years of enjoyable and

> healthy sex. And my symptoms are 24/7, not just in anticipation of

> sex, as vaginismus seems to be defined (though I'm still not quite

> sure).

>

> I hope that I might find someone on the boards who can support or

> inform me, in even such a basic way of letting me know if my symptoms

> are totally off the chart...or if others actually suffer from the

> same things as me(I have yet to meet or talk or find anyone who has

> the symptoms I do). I feel pretty alone and disconnected, so thank

> you for having such a group. It makes a big difference, when this

> problem is so overhwhelming for me now.

>

> I am currently suffering with what SEEMS like vaginismus, but the

> only difference from the textbook definition is that it happens ALL

> DAY, 24/7, not just when I'm about to have sex (which I'm not doing

> right now anyway). I have read stuff all over the internet, and all

> the definitions of this seem to relate to penetration, while my

> symptom doesn't for the most part. I'm hoping I'm not alone, and

> that I'll find other women who have what I have...or know what my

> problem is called in the medical/psychiatric literature.

>

> This is the 2nd time I've had this in the last 3 years (never had it

> before that point). The last time it lasted for 3-4 months. It

> makes me sad because I have always enjoyed my sexuality, but when I

> get this problem, I almost want to be castrated. It is very painful,

> especially since it happens all the time. I am currently in a

> relationship, and I'm so physically exhausted from my symptoms (I

> want to sleep all the time), and am becoming increasingly depressed

> by the whole thing (I cried for hours yesterday, and I now also have

> a muscle spasm in my neck), that I can't be emotionally present for

> myself, let alone my boyfriend, or anyone else for that matter

> (friends, job, etc.).

>

> It is clear to me that this symptom came at the same time another

> symptom arrived - panic attacks (extreme, I often have trouble

> breathing). And these both arrived when my sister moved into my

> local town...she and I have a very difficult relationship, and she has

> been rather abusive and cruel since her arrival. I was also abused

> as a child, and my sister's 'raging' resembles the earlier rantings

> of my mother, which I think is why I'm having this sudden experience

> of intense anxiety symptoms. I went to a support group yesterday

> (after not going for a long time), and it reminded me how much my

> family affects me, and how I have to work harder at protecting myself

> from people's abuse and manipulation.

>

> Now (3 weeks after my original post on other boards) the symptoms

> have gotten to the point that:

> -my vulva has little sensitivity, sometimes feeling numb

> -my anus is now spasming ALL THE TIME as well, sometimes permanently

> tensed...hemorroids are one of MANY pains related to this symptom

> -there is a developing pain around the urethra; I have to urinate all

> the time

> -I still have on & off panic attacks

> -symptoms worsen when I'm talking (via phone) or in physical presence

> of my sister, and/or when I'm with my boyfriend (with him I am

> usually feeling guilty because our previously healthy sex life has

> now come to a screeching halt). He is VERY understanding and NEVER

> pressures me for sex, but I feel guilty anyway...and sad for myself.

>

> In the meantime, I am trying to subsist, so to speak. The worse the

> symptoms are, the more anxious I become about them...it's a vicious

> cycle. The vag. makes me so angry, because it's root is totally

> psychological, and I feel like I should be able to 'fix it'

> myself...especially after many years of therapy for my past. I feel

> so weak when I see that this current situation has gotten me so tense

> that living is difficult...and I've lost a few pounds already, from

> the anxiety & lack of sleep alone. I WANT to take deep breaths to

> calm myself down, but with the panic attacks (I have them 24/7), I

> have trouble doing it. It's physically impossible.

>

> I know that a lot of people with vulvar pain disorders have no

> history of abuse nor anxiety problems, but for me, whatever I have

> right now...its roots seem to be in those areas, and I'm hoping

> somebody else here might be able to help me better understand these

> symptoms...to shed a little bit of light. I just want to feel less

> alone.

>

> Thanks for reading. I look forward to hearing from

> you.

>

> -

>

>

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[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I am also new on this list. Although I wasn't abused

as a child my parents had a very difficult marriage.

This (combined to my over-sensitive nature, I guess)

was enough to cause me some problems, so I imagine how

difficult things are for you!I also feel frustrated

because I've been through therapy and although it

helped a lot, it didn't resolve all my difficulties.

I've been having some anxiety and phobia problems too,

and I suspect that the pain I feel during intercourse

may have in part psychological origins.

I read a book on anxiety which I found helpful,

although I didn't do everything the author recommends,

just a few things. I started running, which was really

great, and using some relaxation techniques. Like you,

sometimes I can't do the breathing thing because I am

too tense!For me it helped to practice doing it when I

am NOT tense, for instance, if I am watching tv.

Slowly you become more accostumed to it and then it's

a bit easier to get into it when you are tense, though

it doesn't work all the time. As for running, I

started real slow, just walking first, then running

one minute and walking, and so on. I'm running 2 miles

right now, I try to do it at least 3 times a week, and

I feel it helps me a lot. It's just such a difficult

thing for me to do, it takes such an effort, that I

feel stronger for accomplishing it. I'm not sure if

it's the right thing for you, but maybe it will help.

Anyway, just reading that book seemed to help me a

bit. The book is called The Anxiety and Phobia

Workbook, by Edmund Bourne, maybe you can find it in

your library, you can take a look and decide if it

could help you. I'm not sure my e-mail will be really

useful for you, but I wanted to give you my support

and let you know you're not alone.

My best wishes,

Kerstin

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