Re: Shopping Trip Expedition

[Guest guest]

ROTFLMAO!!!! Oh so true. Thanks for sharing it, I really needed a laugh.

[Guest guest]

ROTFLMAO!!!! Oh so true. Thanks for sharing it, I really needed a laugh.

[Guest guest]

I say "give me some heavy duty spandex and a built-in bra at least". My DIL swears by swimsuits that are called "Magic Suits" I think they're called. She says they're expensive but well worth it.

Jane

RE: Shopping Trip Expedition

ROTFLMAO!!!! Oh so true. Thanks for sharing it, I really needed a laugh.

Please visit our website at:http://ACES_Autoimmune.tripod.com

[Guest guest]

I say "give me some heavy duty spandex and a built-in bra at least". My DIL swears by swimsuits that are called "Magic Suits" I think they're called. She says they're expensive but well worth it.

Jane

RE: Shopping Trip Expedition

ROTFLMAO!!!! Oh so true. Thanks for sharing it, I really needed a laugh.

Please visit our website at:http://ACES_Autoimmune.tripod.com

[Guest guest]

I say "give me some heavy duty spandex and a built-in bra at least". My DIL swears by swimsuits that are called "Magic Suits" I think they're called. She says they're expensive but well worth it.

Jane

RE: Shopping Trip Expedition

ROTFLMAO!!!! Oh so true. Thanks for sharing it, I really needed a laugh.

Please visit our website at:http://ACES_Autoimmune.tripod.com

[Guest guest]

LOL--I HATE shopping for swimsuits!

Kathy

Shopping Trip Expedition

IF YOU CAN'T RELATE TO THIS AND LAUGH, THEN YOU DON'T HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR!

This is in the best story ever category.... This is supposedly a true story written by a woman in England to her friend after a swimsuit shopping expedition. "I have just been through the annual pilgrimage of torture and humiliation known as buying a bathing suit. When I was a child in the 1950's, the bathing suit for a woman with a mature figure was designed for a woman with a mature figure - boned, trussed, and reinforced - not so much sewn as engineered. They were built to hold back and uplift and they did a good job. Today's stretch fabrics are designed for the pre-pubescent girl with a figure carved from a potato chip. The mature woman has a choice; she can either front up at the maternity department and try on a floral suit with a skirt, coming away looking like a hippopotamus who escaped from Disney's Fantasia - or she can wander around every run-of-the-mill department store trying to make a sensible choice from what amounts to a designer range of fluorescent rubber bands. What choice did I have? I wandered around, made my sensible choice and entered the chamber of horrors known as the fitting room. The first thing I noticed was the extraordinary tensile strength of the stretch material. The Lycra used in bathing costumes was developed, I believe, by NASA to launch small rockets from a slingshot, which gives the added bonus, that if you manage to actually lever yourself into one, you are protected from shark attacks. The reason for this is that any shark taking a swipe at your passing midriff would immediately suffer whiplash. I fought my way into the bathing suit, but as I twanged the shoulder strap in place, I gasped in horror - my bosom had disappeared! Eventually, I found one bosom cowering under my left armpit. It took a while to find the other. At last I located it flattened beside my seventh rib. The problem is that modern bathing suits have no bra cups. The mature woman is meant to wear her bosom spread across her chest like a speed hump. I realigned my speed hump and lurched toward the mirror to take a full view assessment. The bathing suit fitted all right, but unfortunately, it only fitted those bits of me willing to stay inside it. The rest of me oozed out rebelliously from top, bottom, and sides. I looked like a lump of play dough wearing undersized clingwrap. As I tried to work out where all those extra bits had come from, the pre-pubescent sales girl popped her head through the curtains, "Oh, there you are!" she said, admiring the bathing suit. I replied that I wasn't so sure and asked what else she had to show me. I tried on a cream crinkled one that made me like a lump of masking tape, and a floral two-piece which gave the appearance of an oversized napkin in a serviette ring. I struggled into a pair of leopard-skin bathers with ragged frill and came out looking like Tarzan's Jane- pregnant with triplets and having a rough day. I tried on a black number with a midriff and looked like a jellyfish in mourning. I tried on a bright pink pair with such a high cut leg I thought I would

have to wax my eyebrows to wear them.

Finally, I found a suit that fitted - a two-piece affair with shorts style bottom and a loose blouse-type top. It was cheap, comfortable, and bulge-friendly, so I bought it. My ridiculous search had a successful outcome. When I got home, I found a label that said, Material will become transparent in water."Please visit our website at:http://ACES_Autoimmune.tripod.com

[Guest guest]

LOL--I HATE shopping for swimsuits!

Kathy

Shopping Trip Expedition

IF YOU CAN'T RELATE TO THIS AND LAUGH, THEN YOU DON'T HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR!

This is in the best story ever category.... This is supposedly a true story written by a woman in England to her friend after a swimsuit shopping expedition. "I have just been through the annual pilgrimage of torture and humiliation known as buying a bathing suit. When I was a child in the 1950's, the bathing suit for a woman with a mature figure was designed for a woman with a mature figure - boned, trussed, and reinforced - not so much sewn as engineered. They were built to hold back and uplift and they did a good job. Today's stretch fabrics are designed for the pre-pubescent girl with a figure carved from a potato chip. The mature woman has a choice; she can either front up at the maternity department and try on a floral suit with a skirt, coming away looking like a hippopotamus who escaped from Disney's Fantasia - or she can wander around every run-of-the-mill department store trying to make a sensible choice from what amounts to a designer range of fluorescent rubber bands. What choice did I have? I wandered around, made my sensible choice and entered the chamber of horrors known as the fitting room. The first thing I noticed was the extraordinary tensile strength of the stretch material. The Lycra used in bathing costumes was developed, I believe, by NASA to launch small rockets from a slingshot, which gives the added bonus, that if you manage to actually lever yourself into one, you are protected from shark attacks. The reason for this is that any shark taking a swipe at your passing midriff would immediately suffer whiplash. I fought my way into the bathing suit, but as I twanged the shoulder strap in place, I gasped in horror - my bosom had disappeared! Eventually, I found one bosom cowering under my left armpit. It took a while to find the other. At last I located it flattened beside my seventh rib. The problem is that modern bathing suits have no bra cups. The mature woman is meant to wear her bosom spread across her chest like a speed hump. I realigned my speed hump and lurched toward the mirror to take a full view assessment. The bathing suit fitted all right, but unfortunately, it only fitted those bits of me willing to stay inside it. The rest of me oozed out rebelliously from top, bottom, and sides. I looked like a lump of play dough wearing undersized clingwrap. As I tried to work out where all those extra bits had come from, the pre-pubescent sales girl popped her head through the curtains, "Oh, there you are!" she said, admiring the bathing suit. I replied that I wasn't so sure and asked what else she had to show me. I tried on a cream crinkled one that made me like a lump of masking tape, and a floral two-piece which gave the appearance of an oversized napkin in a serviette ring. I struggled into a pair of leopard-skin bathers with ragged frill and came out looking like Tarzan's Jane- pregnant with triplets and having a rough day. I tried on a black number with a midriff and looked like a jellyfish in mourning. I tried on a bright pink pair with such a high cut leg I thought I would

have to wax my eyebrows to wear them.

Finally, I found a suit that fitted - a two-piece affair with shorts style bottom and a loose blouse-type top. It was cheap, comfortable, and bulge-friendly, so I bought it. My ridiculous search had a successful outcome. When I got home, I found a label that said, Material will become transparent in water."Please visit our website at:http://ACES_Autoimmune.tripod.com

[Guest guest]

I don't think I have a swim suit that fits right now - good reason for me not to go anywhere I need to wear one. I don't think I could bring myself to try on swim suits this summer.

P.

-- Re: Shopping Trip Expedition

LOL--I HATE shopping for swimsuits!

Kathy

----- Original Message -----

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[Guest guest]

I don't think I have a swim suit that fits right now - good reason for me not to go anywhere I need to wear one. I don't think I could bring myself to try on swim suits this summer.

P.

-- Re: Shopping Trip Expedition

LOL--I HATE shopping for swimsuits!

Kathy

----- Original Message -----

____________________________________________________ IncrediMail - Email has finally evolved - Click Here

[Guest guest]

I have at least 5 swimsuits that fit well. Most have some extra-strength panels, ALL have underwire bras in them. I go to the beach and to my mother's swimming. At the beach it's all strangers (except family that I'm with) at Mom's pool it's all family. And believe me, some of the people I saw on the beach made me feel like Twiggy. Of course some made me feel like a beached whale, too, LOL.

Kathy

Re: Shopping Trip Expedition

LOL--I HATE shopping for swimsuits!

Kathy

----- Original Message -----

____________________________________________________ IncrediMail - Email has finally evolved - Click Here Please visit our website at:http://ACES_Autoimmune.tripod.com

[Guest guest]

I have at least 5 swimsuits that fit well. Most have some extra-strength panels, ALL have underwire bras in them. I go to the beach and to my mother's swimming. At the beach it's all strangers (except family that I'm with) at Mom's pool it's all family. And believe me, some of the people I saw on the beach made me feel like Twiggy. Of course some made me feel like a beached whale, too, LOL.

Kathy

Re: Shopping Trip Expedition

LOL--I HATE shopping for swimsuits!

Kathy

----- Original Message -----

____________________________________________________ IncrediMail - Email has finally evolved - Click Here Please visit our website at:http://ACES_Autoimmune.tripod.com