Guest guest Posted August 5, 2003 Report Share Posted August 5, 2003 OK--first of all needs to tell uncle and cousin how they can help while they're there--for example, I'm sure it's easier for the men to turn your Mom than for , and would give her body some recovery time if some one else does that for awhile. Around here if you join the ambulance association (usually like $40 a year or so) that includes a certain number of free transports, and a lower price on any over that number--she just needs to call the non-emergency number for the ambulance and talk to them--if she gives you the number, maybe that's a phone call you can handle for them. The social worker may know of other options in that area, also. Also, although it's very rare these days, in our area SOME Docs WILL make a house call--like if it's near where they live, etc---when a patient is homebound so she needs to ASK. All the Doc can say is no, no harm done. The Social Worker or the Home Health Nurse may know of a Doc in the area who does this and perhaps the two Docs could co-ordinate service some? Also--if she has a Home Health Nurse coming in at all perhaps the Nurse could co-ordinate better with the Doc to avoid some of the "routine" Doc visits by calling the Doc with report rather than just waiting for the monthly paper work to go in. I had one Doc that I saw all of his patients that he referred to Home Health (which was a PITA because they weren't all in my area, although most were) and I would call him every Thursday at 3 with report on all of his patients. Of course I also called in between if there were any significant changes. It actually was good for business, too, because there are alot of agencies in our area and we got all of this Doc's referrals.... and his client base was alot of elderly so there were alot of referrals. Around here $500 is very high--was it a private ambulance company? Sometimes the volunteer ones associated with the fire dept are cheaper. Also--there may be a transport service in her area that has a vehicle to transport stretcher patients on a non-emergency basis, that is cheaper. The Social Worker should know. Hope this helps some Kathy Another question Hi everyone, I know you're tired of hearing about my mother, but you've given me so much good advice, I'm back with our latest problem. Mother had a doc appt today; doc's office told to call the ambulance service the day before to arrange transport. called yesterday & was told that Medicare doesn't cover transport to doc appts; we have to pay $500. for each doc appt. trip! Is this correct? Has anyone else had experience with this? called the local Dept of Aging (or whatever it's called) & they gave her the number to one other service that will only charge $300. Tennessee has developed lots of programs & assistance so people can stay at home instead of a nursing home, but this seems to be one area they overlooked. Hopefully, the social worker will visit today & may have suggestions. For now, Mother's appt is postponed - it was just the routine appt they always make after a patient gets out of the hospital. I'm trying to help keep Mother at home, which is what they both want, but I can't afford $500. doc visits. I don't know how much longer can last anyway; she admits she can't make the necessary phone calls, keep up the paperwork, & care for mother at the same time. She got to sleep 3 hours straight yesterday morning, which is some kind of record. To add to it, our uncle & cousin are visiting this week - they're staying in their RV at a campground, & seem to understand that can't cook for them; but that means she's trying to care for mother with 2 men under foot. I don't know how I'd get through this without this group. Hugs, ____________________________________________________ IncrediMail - Email has finally evolved - Click Here Please visit our website at:http://ACES_Autoimmune.tripod.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2003 Report Share Posted August 5, 2003 OK--first of all needs to tell uncle and cousin how they can help while they're there--for example, I'm sure it's easier for the men to turn your Mom than for , and would give her body some recovery time if some one else does that for awhile. Around here if you join the ambulance association (usually like $40 a year or so) that includes a certain number of free transports, and a lower price on any over that number--she just needs to call the non-emergency number for the ambulance and talk to them--if she gives you the number, maybe that's a phone call you can handle for them. The social worker may know of other options in that area, also. Also, although it's very rare these days, in our area SOME Docs WILL make a house call--like if it's near where they live, etc---when a patient is homebound so she needs to ASK. All the Doc can say is no, no harm done. The Social Worker or the Home Health Nurse may know of a Doc in the area who does this and perhaps the two Docs could co-ordinate service some? Also--if she has a Home Health Nurse coming in at all perhaps the Nurse could co-ordinate better with the Doc to avoid some of the "routine" Doc visits by calling the Doc with report rather than just waiting for the monthly paper work to go in. I had one Doc that I saw all of his patients that he referred to Home Health (which was a PITA because they weren't all in my area, although most were) and I would call him every Thursday at 3 with report on all of his patients. Of course I also called in between if there were any significant changes. It actually was good for business, too, because there are alot of agencies in our area and we got all of this Doc's referrals.... and his client base was alot of elderly so there were alot of referrals. Around here $500 is very high--was it a private ambulance company? Sometimes the volunteer ones associated with the fire dept are cheaper. Also--there may be a transport service in her area that has a vehicle to transport stretcher patients on a non-emergency basis, that is cheaper. The Social Worker should know. Hope this helps some Kathy Another question Hi everyone, I know you're tired of hearing about my mother, but you've given me so much good advice, I'm back with our latest problem. Mother had a doc appt today; doc's office told to call the ambulance service the day before to arrange transport. called yesterday & was told that Medicare doesn't cover transport to doc appts; we have to pay $500. for each doc appt. trip! Is this correct? Has anyone else had experience with this? called the local Dept of Aging (or whatever it's called) & they gave her the number to one other service that will only charge $300. Tennessee has developed lots of programs & assistance so people can stay at home instead of a nursing home, but this seems to be one area they overlooked. Hopefully, the social worker will visit today & may have suggestions. For now, Mother's appt is postponed - it was just the routine appt they always make after a patient gets out of the hospital. I'm trying to help keep Mother at home, which is what they both want, but I can't afford $500. doc visits. I don't know how much longer can last anyway; she admits she can't make the necessary phone calls, keep up the paperwork, & care for mother at the same time. She got to sleep 3 hours straight yesterday morning, which is some kind of record. To add to it, our uncle & cousin are visiting this week - they're staying in their RV at a campground, & seem to understand that can't cook for them; but that means she's trying to care for mother with 2 men under foot. I don't know how I'd get through this without this group. Hugs, ____________________________________________________ IncrediMail - Email has finally evolved - Click Here Please visit our website at:http://ACES_Autoimmune.tripod.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2003 Report Share Posted August 5, 2003 That is outrageous that they charge that much for ambulance service to the doctor but I guess it is in keeping with current rates. About 8 years ago, I had some outpatient surgery which ended up with me needing to be admitted to the hospital. Since the hospital was across the street from the outpatient office, the ambulance service charged $300 to transport me approximately 200 ft. Isn't there some kind of non-emergency transport service for bed-ridden patients? Maybe the home health nurse can help with this. I hope so for your sake because this is why any savings of senior citizens (and yes, us younger ones too) is depleted so rapidly. The prices are exorbitant. I hope that your sister can get some help...she isn't going to be able to do this all on her own. She's exhausted and it's only been a couple of weeks that this has been going on. Think how she is going to feel after a couple of months. Prayers going up for all of you. Hugs, Jane > Hi everyone, > I know you're tired of hearing about my mother, but you've given me so much > good advice, I'm back with our latest problem. Mother had a doc appt today; > doc's office told to call the ambulance service the day before to > arrange transport. called yesterday & was told that Medicare doesn't > cover transport to doc appts; we have to pay $500. for each doc appt. trip! > Is this correct? Has anyone else had experience with this? called > the local Dept of Aging (or whatever it's called) & they gave her the number > to one other service that will only charge $300. Tennessee has developed > lots of programs & assistance so people can stay at home instead of a > nursing home, but this seems to be one area they overlooked. Hopefully, the > social worker will visit today & may have suggestions. For now, Mother's > appt is postponed - it was just the routine appt they always make after a > patient gets out of the hospital. I'm trying to help keep Mother at > home, which is what they both want, but I can't afford $500. doc visits. I > don't know how much longer can last anyway; she admits she can't make > the necessary phone calls, keep up the paperwork, & care for mother at the > same time. She got to sleep 3 hours straight yesterday morning, which is > some kind of record. To add to it, our uncle & cousin are visiting this > week - they're staying in their RV at a campground, & seem to understand > that can't cook for them; but that means she's trying to care for > mother with 2 men under foot. I don't know how I'd get through this without > this group. > Hugs, > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2003 Report Share Posted August 5, 2003 That is outrageous that they charge that much for ambulance service to the doctor but I guess it is in keeping with current rates. About 8 years ago, I had some outpatient surgery which ended up with me needing to be admitted to the hospital. Since the hospital was across the street from the outpatient office, the ambulance service charged $300 to transport me approximately 200 ft. Isn't there some kind of non-emergency transport service for bed-ridden patients? Maybe the home health nurse can help with this. I hope so for your sake because this is why any savings of senior citizens (and yes, us younger ones too) is depleted so rapidly. The prices are exorbitant. I hope that your sister can get some help...she isn't going to be able to do this all on her own. She's exhausted and it's only been a couple of weeks that this has been going on. Think how she is going to feel after a couple of months. Prayers going up for all of you. Hugs, Jane > Hi everyone, > I know you're tired of hearing about my mother, but you've given me so much > good advice, I'm back with our latest problem. Mother had a doc appt today; > doc's office told to call the ambulance service the day before to > arrange transport. called yesterday & was told that Medicare doesn't > cover transport to doc appts; we have to pay $500. for each doc appt. trip! > Is this correct? Has anyone else had experience with this? called > the local Dept of Aging (or whatever it's called) & they gave her the number > to one other service that will only charge $300. Tennessee has developed > lots of programs & assistance so people can stay at home instead of a > nursing home, but this seems to be one area they overlooked. Hopefully, the > social worker will visit today & may have suggestions. For now, Mother's > appt is postponed - it was just the routine appt they always make after a > patient gets out of the hospital. I'm trying to help keep Mother at > home, which is what they both want, but I can't afford $500. doc visits. I > don't know how much longer can last anyway; she admits she can't make > the necessary phone calls, keep up the paperwork, & care for mother at the > same time. She got to sleep 3 hours straight yesterday morning, which is > some kind of record. To add to it, our uncle & cousin are visiting this > week - they're staying in their RV at a campground, & seem to understand > that can't cook for them; but that means she's trying to care for > mother with 2 men under foot. I don't know how I'd get through this without > this group. > Hugs, > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2003 Report Share Posted August 5, 2003 That is outrageous that they charge that much for ambulance service to the doctor but I guess it is in keeping with current rates. About 8 years ago, I had some outpatient surgery which ended up with me needing to be admitted to the hospital. Since the hospital was across the street from the outpatient office, the ambulance service charged $300 to transport me approximately 200 ft. Isn't there some kind of non-emergency transport service for bed-ridden patients? Maybe the home health nurse can help with this. I hope so for your sake because this is why any savings of senior citizens (and yes, us younger ones too) is depleted so rapidly. The prices are exorbitant. I hope that your sister can get some help...she isn't going to be able to do this all on her own. She's exhausted and it's only been a couple of weeks that this has been going on. Think how she is going to feel after a couple of months. Prayers going up for all of you. Hugs, Jane > Hi everyone, > I know you're tired of hearing about my mother, but you've given me so much > good advice, I'm back with our latest problem. Mother had a doc appt today; > doc's office told to call the ambulance service the day before to > arrange transport. called yesterday & was told that Medicare doesn't > cover transport to doc appts; we have to pay $500. for each doc appt. trip! > Is this correct? Has anyone else had experience with this? called > the local Dept of Aging (or whatever it's called) & they gave her the number > to one other service that will only charge $300. Tennessee has developed > lots of programs & assistance so people can stay at home instead of a > nursing home, but this seems to be one area they overlooked. Hopefully, the > social worker will visit today & may have suggestions. For now, Mother's > appt is postponed - it was just the routine appt they always make after a > patient gets out of the hospital. I'm trying to help keep Mother at > home, which is what they both want, but I can't afford $500. doc visits. I > don't know how much longer can last anyway; she admits she can't make > the necessary phone calls, keep up the paperwork, & care for mother at the > same time. She got to sleep 3 hours straight yesterday morning, which is > some kind of record. To add to it, our uncle & cousin are visiting this > week - they're staying in their RV at a campground, & seem to understand > that can't cook for them; but that means she's trying to care for > mother with 2 men under foot. I don't know how I'd get through this without > this group. > Hugs, > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2003 Report Share Posted August 5, 2003 , I'm not sure about there but in GA there are transport companies that bill medicare/medicaid. assistance. We have 4 companies like that here in Sylvester! Also, the social worker should know how to plan the trips. Also, call the patient care rep at the hospital and ask her for some help. If nothing else, she can tell you who does what for how much up there. Wait, Tell SANDRA to make the calls. YOU would ahve left her in the nursing home, remember? Do not let their irrational decision cause YOU guilt! They went over your head and did what they wanted to do without you. Let them continue to do it now. Offer your assistance when they decide to put her back in a place where she can get the care she requires. I dare say, she is NOT getting that care from your sister right now. She's too exhausted. Also, she could check into getting a nursing student or someone covered by Medicare to sit with your mom while sleeps and gets some rest. The Council on Aging usually provides respite care for caregivers to get rest or go shopping, etc. for a short time. Remind of her decision and offer your help when she comes to her senses. Even your mother's monthly check can't be worth what she's going through! Or does she not think your mother's life is worth it? She can't be doing what she needs to do for her as tired as she must be. I know it hurts you but it wasn't your decision and there's nothing you can do from here. You have to let it go and let it be on 's shoulders since she made the decision! Hang in there. We're here for you and we'll never hear "enough" or too much. Keep talking. That's why we're here! Hugs! I know this is tough on you! Christy Another question Hi everyone, I know you're tired of hearing about my mother, but you've given me so much good advice, I'm back with our latest problem. Mother had a doc appt today; doc's office told to call the ambulance service the day before to arrange transport. called yesterday & was told that Medicare doesn't cover transport to doc appts; we have to pay $500. for each doc appt. trip! Is this correct? Has anyone else had experience with this? called the local Dept of Aging (or whatever it's called) & they gave her the number to one other service that will only charge $300. Tennessee has developed lots of programs & assistance so people can stay at home instead of a nursing home, but this seems to be one area they overlooked. Hopefully, the social worker will visit today & may have suggestions. For now, Mother's appt is postponed - it was just the routine appt they always make after a patient gets out of the hospital. I'm trying to help keep Mother at home, which is what they both want, but I can't afford $500. doc visits. I don't know how much longer can last anyway; she admits she can't make the necessary phone calls, keep up the paperwork, & care for mother at the same time. She got to sleep 3 hours straight yesterday morning, which is some kind of record. To add to it, our uncle & cousin are visiting this week - they're staying in their RV at a campground, & seem to understand that can't cook for them; but that means she's trying to care for mother with 2 men under foot. I don't know how I'd get through this without this group. Hugs, ____________________________________________________ IncrediMail - Email has finally evolved - Click Here Please visit our website at:http://ACES_Autoimmune.tripod.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2003 Report Share Posted August 5, 2003 Thanks, Kathy. I'm going to try to reply to each suggestion. OK--first of all needs to tell uncle and cousin how they can help while they're there--for example, I'm sure it's easier for the men to turn your Mom than for , and would give her body some recovery time if some one else does that for awhile. Uncle Elbert had a broken hip just a few months ago, still can't get around well. I'm just glad Bill is staying right with him, or would have him to care for, too. Elbert & (his wife) should be in a nursing home themselves, but refuse to leave their home. I honestly don't know how they've managed to stay alive the last few years. Neither of them can see well enough to drive, but he drives anyway. Bill may be some help with Mother. He's retired, diabetic, other health problems, but obviously he can still drive a motor home. I'll ask if Bill is helping any. Around here if you join the ambulance association (usually like $40 a year or so) that includes a certain number of free transports, and a lower price on any over that number--she just needs to call the non-emergency number for the ambulance and talk to them--if she gives you the number, maybe that's a phone call you can handle for them. Mother & live in a little bitty town with no competition for any business. There is ONE ambulance service - the county emergency service that operates out of the only hospital in the county; they do non-emergency transport, too. was referred to a service in a neighboring county that only charges $300.00. A little added ranting here - the care at the hospital is OK, but not what it should be; one of two nursing homes in the county is part of the hospital; in-patient rehab is part of the nursing home. That town/county are dying; it was a coal mining area many years ago. The coal is gone & so is everything else. Mother & have never considered moving away. It is so depressing that I get claustrophobic just driving into the area. Also, although it's very rare these days, in our area SOME Docs WILL make a house call--like if it's near where they live, etc---when a patient is homebound so she needs to ASK. Mother's doc not only won't make house calls; she's not on staff at the local hospital! She's only on staff at UT Hospital, which is more than an hour's drive away ("too far for Sandy to drive" according to them), so when Mother is in the hospital, she has whichever doc is on call when she goes to the ER - unless it's the one who refuses to see her any more. There's no need for me to ask why she doesn't change doctors; they wouldn't understand why I think it could be some other way. Also--if she has a Home Health Nurse coming in at all perhaps the Nurse could co-ordinate better with the Doc to avoid some of the "routine" Doc visits by calling the Doc with report rather than just waiting for the monthly paper work to go in. I & I talked about this yesterday, & she planned to discuss it with the social worker/home health/doc's office today. I haven't called her yet today; I need to get myself in the right frame of mind so I don't tell her how crazy I think she is - she doesn't need my disapproval on top of everything else. I still think maybe I was switched at birth & these aren't my real family. Mother LOVES being sick, & loves having Mother sick; at least it seems that way. I'm feeling better about the whole situation now than a few weeks ago. I'll continue to do what I can to enable them to stay at home together, until breaks; then I'll try to get them both into a nursing home (I'm thinking maybe I can find one close to me, so I can visit - also more choices, more competition, hopefully better care). I call daily & offer moral support; buy diapers & whatever else they need that I can afford. Hugs, ____________________________________________________ IncrediMail - Email has finally evolved - Click Here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2003 Report Share Posted August 5, 2003 Thanks, Kathy. I'm going to try to reply to each suggestion. OK--first of all needs to tell uncle and cousin how they can help while they're there--for example, I'm sure it's easier for the men to turn your Mom than for , and would give her body some recovery time if some one else does that for awhile. Uncle Elbert had a broken hip just a few months ago, still can't get around well. I'm just glad Bill is staying right with him, or would have him to care for, too. Elbert & (his wife) should be in a nursing home themselves, but refuse to leave their home. I honestly don't know how they've managed to stay alive the last few years. Neither of them can see well enough to drive, but he drives anyway. Bill may be some help with Mother. He's retired, diabetic, other health problems, but obviously he can still drive a motor home. I'll ask if Bill is helping any. Around here if you join the ambulance association (usually like $40 a year or so) that includes a certain number of free transports, and a lower price on any over that number--she just needs to call the non-emergency number for the ambulance and talk to them--if she gives you the number, maybe that's a phone call you can handle for them. Mother & live in a little bitty town with no competition for any business. There is ONE ambulance service - the county emergency service that operates out of the only hospital in the county; they do non-emergency transport, too. was referred to a service in a neighboring county that only charges $300.00. A little added ranting here - the care at the hospital is OK, but not what it should be; one of two nursing homes in the county is part of the hospital; in-patient rehab is part of the nursing home. That town/county are dying; it was a coal mining area many years ago. The coal is gone & so is everything else. Mother & have never considered moving away. It is so depressing that I get claustrophobic just driving into the area. Also, although it's very rare these days, in our area SOME Docs WILL make a house call--like if it's near where they live, etc---when a patient is homebound so she needs to ASK. Mother's doc not only won't make house calls; she's not on staff at the local hospital! She's only on staff at UT Hospital, which is more than an hour's drive away ("too far for Sandy to drive" according to them), so when Mother is in the hospital, she has whichever doc is on call when she goes to the ER - unless it's the one who refuses to see her any more. There's no need for me to ask why she doesn't change doctors; they wouldn't understand why I think it could be some other way. Also--if she has a Home Health Nurse coming in at all perhaps the Nurse could co-ordinate better with the Doc to avoid some of the "routine" Doc visits by calling the Doc with report rather than just waiting for the monthly paper work to go in. I & I talked about this yesterday, & she planned to discuss it with the social worker/home health/doc's office today. I haven't called her yet today; I need to get myself in the right frame of mind so I don't tell her how crazy I think she is - she doesn't need my disapproval on top of everything else. I still think maybe I was switched at birth & these aren't my real family. Mother LOVES being sick, & loves having Mother sick; at least it seems that way. I'm feeling better about the whole situation now than a few weeks ago. I'll continue to do what I can to enable them to stay at home together, until breaks; then I'll try to get them both into a nursing home (I'm thinking maybe I can find one close to me, so I can visit - also more choices, more competition, hopefully better care). I call daily & offer moral support; buy diapers & whatever else they need that I can afford. Hugs, ____________________________________________________ IncrediMail - Email has finally evolved - Click Here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2003 Report Share Posted August 5, 2003 Thanks, Kathy. I'm going to try to reply to each suggestion. OK--first of all needs to tell uncle and cousin how they can help while they're there--for example, I'm sure it's easier for the men to turn your Mom than for , and would give her body some recovery time if some one else does that for awhile. Uncle Elbert had a broken hip just a few months ago, still can't get around well. I'm just glad Bill is staying right with him, or would have him to care for, too. Elbert & (his wife) should be in a nursing home themselves, but refuse to leave their home. I honestly don't know how they've managed to stay alive the last few years. Neither of them can see well enough to drive, but he drives anyway. Bill may be some help with Mother. He's retired, diabetic, other health problems, but obviously he can still drive a motor home. I'll ask if Bill is helping any. Around here if you join the ambulance association (usually like $40 a year or so) that includes a certain number of free transports, and a lower price on any over that number--she just needs to call the non-emergency number for the ambulance and talk to them--if she gives you the number, maybe that's a phone call you can handle for them. Mother & live in a little bitty town with no competition for any business. There is ONE ambulance service - the county emergency service that operates out of the only hospital in the county; they do non-emergency transport, too. was referred to a service in a neighboring county that only charges $300.00. A little added ranting here - the care at the hospital is OK, but not what it should be; one of two nursing homes in the county is part of the hospital; in-patient rehab is part of the nursing home. That town/county are dying; it was a coal mining area many years ago. The coal is gone & so is everything else. Mother & have never considered moving away. It is so depressing that I get claustrophobic just driving into the area. Also, although it's very rare these days, in our area SOME Docs WILL make a house call--like if it's near where they live, etc---when a patient is homebound so she needs to ASK. Mother's doc not only won't make house calls; she's not on staff at the local hospital! She's only on staff at UT Hospital, which is more than an hour's drive away ("too far for Sandy to drive" according to them), so when Mother is in the hospital, she has whichever doc is on call when she goes to the ER - unless it's the one who refuses to see her any more. There's no need for me to ask why she doesn't change doctors; they wouldn't understand why I think it could be some other way. Also--if she has a Home Health Nurse coming in at all perhaps the Nurse could co-ordinate better with the Doc to avoid some of the "routine" Doc visits by calling the Doc with report rather than just waiting for the monthly paper work to go in. I & I talked about this yesterday, & she planned to discuss it with the social worker/home health/doc's office today. I haven't called her yet today; I need to get myself in the right frame of mind so I don't tell her how crazy I think she is - she doesn't need my disapproval on top of everything else. I still think maybe I was switched at birth & these aren't my real family. Mother LOVES being sick, & loves having Mother sick; at least it seems that way. I'm feeling better about the whole situation now than a few weeks ago. I'll continue to do what I can to enable them to stay at home together, until breaks; then I'll try to get them both into a nursing home (I'm thinking maybe I can find one close to me, so I can visit - also more choices, more competition, hopefully better care). I call daily & offer moral support; buy diapers & whatever else they need that I can afford. Hugs, ____________________________________________________ IncrediMail - Email has finally evolved - Click Here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2003 Report Share Posted August 5, 2003 Thank you, Jane. has slept in her own bed one night since June 28 - the night I took care of Mother. -------Original Message------- I hope that your sister can get somehelp...she isn't going to be able to do this all on her own. She'sexhausted and it's only been a couple of weeks that this has beengoing on. Think how she is going to feel after a couple of months. Prayers going up for all of you.Hugs,Jane ____________________________________________________ IncrediMail - Email has finally evolved - Click Here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2003 Report Share Posted August 5, 2003 Christy, Thank you. I don't WANT Mother in a nursing home, but we have to use common sense sometimes. Mother would not get proper care in the nursing home there, but then she's not getting it at home either. There is a good nursing home about 30-40 mins drive away, but they don't want to be that far apart! has a list of sitters she can call to stay for a few hours. Medicare won't cover it, but I have repeatedly told I'll pay for 4 hours a week or every other week (social worker told me we should expect to pay $8 - $15 an hour). hasn't had time to call to arrange someone even so she can go to her doc appt 8/11! is on the waiting list for respite care - there are about 300 people ahead of her on the list (I tell you this is a depressed/depressing area & you have to be rich or crazy to live there). Mother is happy with the care she's getting from . The most important thing to Mother is having in the same room with her. What am I going to do with when Mother dies? It's been just the two of them for most of the last 41 years, & they are "set in their ways". ____________________________________________________ IncrediMail - Email has finally evolved - Click Here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2003 Report Share Posted August 5, 2003 Christy, Thank you. I don't WANT Mother in a nursing home, but we have to use common sense sometimes. Mother would not get proper care in the nursing home there, but then she's not getting it at home either. There is a good nursing home about 30-40 mins drive away, but they don't want to be that far apart! has a list of sitters she can call to stay for a few hours. Medicare won't cover it, but I have repeatedly told I'll pay for 4 hours a week or every other week (social worker told me we should expect to pay $8 - $15 an hour). hasn't had time to call to arrange someone even so she can go to her doc appt 8/11! is on the waiting list for respite care - there are about 300 people ahead of her on the list (I tell you this is a depressed/depressing area & you have to be rich or crazy to live there). Mother is happy with the care she's getting from . The most important thing to Mother is having in the same room with her. What am I going to do with when Mother dies? It's been just the two of them for most of the last 41 years, & they are "set in their ways". ____________________________________________________ IncrediMail - Email has finally evolved - Click Here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2003 Report Share Posted August 5, 2003 sounds like what happend with my grandfather. My grandfather had heart surgery and they wouldent release him home unless he had 24/h care. so my mom came to help out. so they have been looking after him for the longest while, having care at home, having to put in lifts so he coudl go upstairs, ect. and last month my grandfather had a fall, and they got him up and then he wasent responsive so they called an ambulance and this was the last call, he is now in the hosptial and waiting for a bed in a nursing home. The drs are yelling at my grandmother to try to take him back home, but her health isent too good. She has diabies and ulcers ect. the nurses are making it like she dosent want him at home ect. thing is for drs he will act all nice and be compliant but when he is at home, he will toss his diper around ect, and not say in his wheelchair ect... so he needs ot be in a nursing home. my mom yelled at a few drs at the hosptial and now they are trying to place him in a home.... I was suposed to be comming back from edmonton two weekends from now, but my hubby drove up to see me. SO i changed my flight so i will come back with my mom to edmonton in Sept. I hope things will be better by then!Kat -----Original Message-----From: Sent: August 5, 2003 4:09 PMTo: autoimmune-ills Subject: Re: Another question Christy, Thank you. I don't WANT Mother in a nursing home, but we have to use common sense sometimes. Mother would not get proper care in the nursing home there, but then she's not getting it at home either. There is a good nursing home about 30-40 mins drive away, but they don't want to be that far apart! has a list of sitters she can call to stay for a few hours. Medicare won't cover it, but I have repeatedly told I'll pay for 4 hours a week or every other week (social worker told me we should expect to pay $8 - $15 an hour). hasn't had time to call to arrange someone even so she can go to her doc appt 8/11! is on the waiting list for respite care - there are about 300 people ahead of her on the list (I tell you this is a depressed/depressing area & you have to be rich or crazy to live there). Mother is happy with the care she's getting from . The most important thing to Mother is having in the same room with her. What am I going to do with when Mother dies? It's been just the two of them for most of the last 41 years, & they are "set in their ways". ____________________________________________________ IncrediMail - Email has finally evolved - Click Here Please visit our website at:http://ACES_Autoimmune.tripod.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2003 Report Share Posted August 5, 2003 Kat, I hope things get better for your family. Maybe your mother made the doctors understand the situation with your grandparents. The docs would put Mother in a nursing home, but she & won't agree to it. Hugs, -- RE: Another question sounds like what happend with my grandfather. My grandfather had heart surgery and they wouldent release him home unless he had 24/h care. so my mom came to help out. so they have been looking after him for the longest while, having care at home, having to put in lifts so he coudl go upstairs, ect. and last month my grandfather had a fall, and they got him up and then he wasent responsive so they called an ambulance and this was the last call, he is now in the hosptial and waiting for a bed in a nursing home. The drs are yelling at my grandmother to try to take him back home, but her health isent too good. She has diabies and ulcers ect. the nurses are making it like she dosent want him at home ect. thing is for drs he will act all nice and be compliant but when he is at home, he will toss his diper around ect, and not say in his wheelchair ect... so he needs ot be in a nursing home. my mom yelled at a few drs at the hosptial and now they are trying to place him in a home.... I was suposed to be comming back from edmonton two weekends from now, but my hubby drove up to see me. SO i changed my flight so i will come back with my mom to edmonton in Sept. I hope things will be better by then!Kat ____________________________________________________ IncrediMail - Email has finally evolved - Click Here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2003 Report Share Posted August 5, 2003 *sigh* i know how that feals. my grandfathers sister (he is actualy my step grandparent, so his sister) is tell my grandmother shit and saying that he shoudl be at home ect.. but they arnt willing to help out... so ya.. *hugs* going out to ya sarah.. hope things go better! Kat RE: Another question sounds like what happend with my grandfather. My grandfather had heart surgery and they wouldent release him home unless he had 24/h care. so my mom came to help out. so they have been looking after him for the longest while, having care at home, having to put in lifts so he coudl go upstairs, ect. and last month my grandfather had a fall, and they got him up and then he wasent responsive so they called an ambulance and this was the last call, he is now in the hosptial and waiting for a bed in a nursing home. The drs are yelling at my grandmother to try to take him back home, but her health isent too good. She has diabies and ulcers ect. the nurses are making it like she dosent want him at home ect. thing is for drs he will act all nice and be compliant but when he is at home, he will toss his diper around ect, and not say in his wheelchair ect... so he needs ot be in a nursing home. my mom yelled at a few drs at the hosptial and now they are trying to place him in a home.... I was suposed to be comming back from edmonton two weekends from now, but my hubby drove up to see me. SO i changed my flight so i will come back with my mom to edmonton in Sept. I hope things will be better by then!Kat ____________________________________________________ IncrediMail - Email has finally evolved - Click Here Please visit our website at:http://ACES_Autoimmune.tripod.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 6, 2003 Report Share Posted August 6, 2003 Although I'm sure will be exceedingly distraught when your Mother dies, you may be surprised how well she handles it in the long run. I've seen that alot. Kathy Re: Another question Christy, Thank you. I don't WANT Mother in a nursing home, but we have to use common sense sometimes. Mother would not get proper care in the nursing home there, but then she's not getting it at home either. There is a good nursing home about 30-40 mins drive away, but they don't want to be that far apart! has a list of sitters she can call to stay for a few hours. Medicare won't cover it, but I have repeatedly told I'll pay for 4 hours a week or every other week (social worker told me we should expect to pay $8 - $15 an hour). hasn't had time to call to arrange someone even so she can go to her doc appt 8/11! is on the waiting list for respite care - there are about 300 people ahead of her on the list (I tell you this is a depressed/depressing area & you have to be rich or crazy to live there). Mother is happy with the care she's getting from . The most important thing to Mother is having in the same room with her. What am I going to do with when Mother dies? It's been just the two of them for most of the last 41 years, & they are "set in their ways". ____________________________________________________ IncrediMail - Email has finally evolved - Click Here Please visit our website at:http://ACES_Autoimmune.tripod.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 6, 2003 Report Share Posted August 6, 2003 Although I'm sure will be exceedingly distraught when your Mother dies, you may be surprised how well she handles it in the long run. I've seen that alot. Kathy Re: Another question Christy, Thank you. I don't WANT Mother in a nursing home, but we have to use common sense sometimes. Mother would not get proper care in the nursing home there, but then she's not getting it at home either. There is a good nursing home about 30-40 mins drive away, but they don't want to be that far apart! has a list of sitters she can call to stay for a few hours. Medicare won't cover it, but I have repeatedly told I'll pay for 4 hours a week or every other week (social worker told me we should expect to pay $8 - $15 an hour). hasn't had time to call to arrange someone even so she can go to her doc appt 8/11! is on the waiting list for respite care - there are about 300 people ahead of her on the list (I tell you this is a depressed/depressing area & you have to be rich or crazy to live there). Mother is happy with the care she's getting from . The most important thing to Mother is having in the same room with her. What am I going to do with when Mother dies? It's been just the two of them for most of the last 41 years, & they are "set in their ways". ____________________________________________________ IncrediMail - Email has finally evolved - Click Here Please visit our website at:http://ACES_Autoimmune.tripod.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 6, 2003 Report Share Posted August 6, 2003 Although I'm sure will be exceedingly distraught when your Mother dies, you may be surprised how well she handles it in the long run. I've seen that alot. Kathy Re: Another question Christy, Thank you. I don't WANT Mother in a nursing home, but we have to use common sense sometimes. Mother would not get proper care in the nursing home there, but then she's not getting it at home either. There is a good nursing home about 30-40 mins drive away, but they don't want to be that far apart! has a list of sitters she can call to stay for a few hours. Medicare won't cover it, but I have repeatedly told I'll pay for 4 hours a week or every other week (social worker told me we should expect to pay $8 - $15 an hour). hasn't had time to call to arrange someone even so she can go to her doc appt 8/11! is on the waiting list for respite care - there are about 300 people ahead of her on the list (I tell you this is a depressed/depressing area & you have to be rich or crazy to live there). Mother is happy with the care she's getting from . The most important thing to Mother is having in the same room with her. What am I going to do with when Mother dies? It's been just the two of them for most of the last 41 years, & they are "set in their ways". ____________________________________________________ IncrediMail - Email has finally evolved - Click Here Please visit our website at:http://ACES_Autoimmune.tripod.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 6, 2003 Report Share Posted August 6, 2003 Sometimes I wonder if will embrace freedom when Mother is gone, & make up for lost time. -- Re: Another question Although I'm sure will be exceedingly distraught when your Mother dies, you may be surprised how well she handles it in the long run. I've seen that alot. Kathy ____________________________________________________ IncrediMail - Email has finally evolved - Click Here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 6, 2003 Report Share Posted August 6, 2003 I've seen that happen. Actually my great-great aunt (who lived until I was about 35) took care of her mother and had never lived away from home, even when in college. After her mother died she went back to teaching, then retired and traveled the world. Kathy Re: Another question Although I'm sure will be exceedingly distraught when your Mother dies, you may be surprised how well she handles it in the long run. I've seen that alot. Kathy ____________________________________________________ IncrediMail - Email has finally evolved - Click Here Please visit our website at:http://ACES_Autoimmune.tripod.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 6, 2003 Report Share Posted August 6, 2003 Put in the nursing home. Even better.... put in the nursing home WITH your mother! I don't mean to make light of this, I know how upset you must be but you are smart enough to know that your mother really needs the care she can get in the nursing home and isn't capable of providing that care. You've told them, you've offered to pay for help and you've even taken time out of your hectic life, in the condition you're in, and gone to provide assistance. You've done far beyond what would be expected of you or of anyone in your position. You really do need to make this one of those things you turn over to God. And really turn it over. Pray about it and move on. Your own health is in jeopardy and then you would even have in a bad position. If you don't worry enough about yourself, worry about what would happen to him if anything happened to you! Let it go, . Please. Re: Another question Christy, Thank you. I don't WANT Mother in a nursing home, but we have to use common sense sometimes. Mother would not get proper care in the nursing home there, but then she's not getting it at home either. There is a good nursing home about 30-40 mins drive away, but they don't want to be that far apart! has a list of sitters she can call to stay for a few hours. Medicare won't cover it, but I have repeatedly told I'll pay for 4 hours a week or every other week (social worker told me we should expect to pay $8 - $15 an hour). hasn't had time to call to arrange someone even so she can go to her doc appt 8/11! is on the waiting list for respite care - there are about 300 people ahead of her on the list (I tell you this is a depressed/depressing area & you have to be rich or crazy to live there). Mother is happy with the care she's getting from . The most important thing to Mother is having in the same room with her. What am I going to do with when Mother dies? It's been just the two of them for most of the last 41 years, & they are "set in their ways". ____________________________________________________ IncrediMail - Email has finally evolved - Click Here Please visit our website at:http://ACES_Autoimmune.tripod.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 6, 2003 Report Share Posted August 6, 2003 Put in the nursing home. Even better.... put in the nursing home WITH your mother! I don't mean to make light of this, I know how upset you must be but you are smart enough to know that your mother really needs the care she can get in the nursing home and isn't capable of providing that care. You've told them, you've offered to pay for help and you've even taken time out of your hectic life, in the condition you're in, and gone to provide assistance. You've done far beyond what would be expected of you or of anyone in your position. You really do need to make this one of those things you turn over to God. And really turn it over. Pray about it and move on. Your own health is in jeopardy and then you would even have in a bad position. If you don't worry enough about yourself, worry about what would happen to him if anything happened to you! Let it go, . Please. Re: Another question Christy, Thank you. I don't WANT Mother in a nursing home, but we have to use common sense sometimes. Mother would not get proper care in the nursing home there, but then she's not getting it at home either. There is a good nursing home about 30-40 mins drive away, but they don't want to be that far apart! has a list of sitters she can call to stay for a few hours. Medicare won't cover it, but I have repeatedly told I'll pay for 4 hours a week or every other week (social worker told me we should expect to pay $8 - $15 an hour). hasn't had time to call to arrange someone even so she can go to her doc appt 8/11! is on the waiting list for respite care - there are about 300 people ahead of her on the list (I tell you this is a depressed/depressing area & you have to be rich or crazy to live there). Mother is happy with the care she's getting from . The most important thing to Mother is having in the same room with her. What am I going to do with when Mother dies? It's been just the two of them for most of the last 41 years, & they are "set in their ways". ____________________________________________________ IncrediMail - Email has finally evolved - Click Here Please visit our website at:http://ACES_Autoimmune.tripod.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 6, 2003 Report Share Posted August 6, 2003 Put in the nursing home. Even better.... put in the nursing home WITH your mother! I don't mean to make light of this, I know how upset you must be but you are smart enough to know that your mother really needs the care she can get in the nursing home and isn't capable of providing that care. You've told them, you've offered to pay for help and you've even taken time out of your hectic life, in the condition you're in, and gone to provide assistance. You've done far beyond what would be expected of you or of anyone in your position. You really do need to make this one of those things you turn over to God. And really turn it over. Pray about it and move on. Your own health is in jeopardy and then you would even have in a bad position. If you don't worry enough about yourself, worry about what would happen to him if anything happened to you! Let it go, . Please. Re: Another question Christy, Thank you. I don't WANT Mother in a nursing home, but we have to use common sense sometimes. Mother would not get proper care in the nursing home there, but then she's not getting it at home either. There is a good nursing home about 30-40 mins drive away, but they don't want to be that far apart! has a list of sitters she can call to stay for a few hours. Medicare won't cover it, but I have repeatedly told I'll pay for 4 hours a week or every other week (social worker told me we should expect to pay $8 - $15 an hour). hasn't had time to call to arrange someone even so she can go to her doc appt 8/11! is on the waiting list for respite care - there are about 300 people ahead of her on the list (I tell you this is a depressed/depressing area & you have to be rich or crazy to live there). Mother is happy with the care she's getting from . The most important thing to Mother is having in the same room with her. What am I going to do with when Mother dies? It's been just the two of them for most of the last 41 years, & they are "set in their ways". ____________________________________________________ IncrediMail - Email has finally evolved - Click Here Please visit our website at:http://ACES_Autoimmune.tripod.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 6, 2003 Report Share Posted August 6, 2003 Christy, I have let the worry part go, I think. I have decided how I'll handle the situation when can't care for mother any longer - I'll do everything I can to get them into a nursing home together. Until then, I'll do what I need to do to live with my conscience & what I think my father would expect from me. This means I'll help financially when I can, I'll call daily to give what support I can, & I'll visit sometimes & give a bit of a break. And, no matter what Mother's will says ( & I really don't even know if she has one), when she dies, everything will be 's. How does that sound? -- Re: Another question Put in the nursing home. Even better.... put in the nursing home WITH your mother! I don't mean to make light of this, I know how upset you must be but you are smart enough to know that your mother really needs the care she can get in the nursing home and isn't capable of providing that care. You've told them, you've offered to pay for help and you've even taken time out of your hectic life, in the condition you're in, and gone to provide assistance. You've done far beyond what would be expected of you or of anyone in your position. You really do need to make this one of those things you turn over to God. And really turn it over. Pray about it and move on. Your own health is in jeopardy and then you would even have in a bad position. If you don't worry enough about yourself, worry about what would happen to him if anything happened to you! Let it go, . Please. ____________________________________________________ IncrediMail - Email has finally evolved - Click Here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 6, 2003 Report Share Posted August 6, 2003 It sounds kinda shitty but you have to live with your conscience right? I'm here for you, whatever you choose to do. Hugs Christy Re: Another question Put in the nursing home. Even better.... put in the nursing home WITH your mother! I don't mean to make light of this, I know how upset you must be but you are smart enough to know that your mother really needs the care she can get in the nursing home and isn't capable of providing that care. You've told them, you've offered to pay for help and you've even taken time out of your hectic life, in the condition you're in, and gone to provide assistance. You've done far beyond what would be expected of you or of anyone in your position. You really do need to make this one of those things you turn over to God. And really turn it over. Pray about it and move on. Your own health is in jeopardy and then you would even have in a bad position. If you don't worry enough about yourself, worry about what would happen to him if anything happened to you! Let it go, . Please. ____________________________________________________ IncrediMail - Email has finally evolved - Click Here Please visit our website at:http://ACES_Autoimmune.tripod.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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