Re: I told my friends about this

January 19, 2007

I'm sorry it did not go so well with your friends. Do what you beleive is right in your heart and work to please yourself. For a while I was a skeptic too, it seemed too good to be true. I'm glad I gave it a try and am working at it every moment of every day. I know I feel better about myself now.

Hang in there!

le

Well that didn't go to well. I was very disappointed at my friends' reactions. I told two of the yesterday about how great and freeing this has been. They do not want to believe that diets dont work, that legalizing can work and that we can eat whatever we want. They were like no way, we need to be on diets or else we'd go out of control. But what bothered me the most was them pretty much saying it's NOT ok to be overweight. Which in the end means that we're not ok women. We're not good enough. They were insulting themselves and me! I was very sad by this. Bc I felt like they dont fully accept me and love me unconditionally as a friend despite the fact I'm a few pounds overweight. They were telling me I'm NOT OK. I'm not allowed to feel good about myself and happy being a little overweight. But then if I do lose weight and look good, then they'll be envious. They still wont accept me and love me. So either way, it's a lose lose situation.

January 19, 2007

I think it's very hard to be friends with people, and sometimes

especially women. I bet a part of them is jealous that you feel so

free. They probably hate dieting like the rest of us and are just

too terrified to believe you. Sorry that they made you feel bad. I

don't know why any of us ever feel like skinny people are better than

us.

>

> Well that didn't go to well. I was very disappointed at my friends'

> reactions. I told two of the yesterday about how great and freeing

> this has been. They do not want to believe that diets dont work,

that

> legalizing can work and that we can eat whatever we want. They were

> like no way, we need to be on diets or else we'd go out of control.

> But what bothered me the most was them pretty much saying it's NOT

ok

> to be overweight. Which in the end means that we're not ok women.

> We're not good enough. They were insulting themselves and me! I was

> very sad by this. Bc I felt like they dont fully accept me and love

me

> unconditionally as a friend despite the fact I'm a few pounds

> overweight. They were telling me I'm NOT OK. I'm not allowed to

feel

> good about myself and happy being a little overweight.

> But then if I do lose weight and look good, then they'll be

envious.

> They still wont accept me and love me. So either way, it's a lose

lose

> situation.

>

January 19, 2007

I think it's very hard to be friends with people, and sometimes

especially women. I bet a part of them is jealous that you feel so

free. They probably hate dieting like the rest of us and are just

too terrified to believe you. Sorry that they made you feel bad. I

don't know why any of us ever feel like skinny people are better than

us.

>

> Well that didn't go to well. I was very disappointed at my friends'

> reactions. I told two of the yesterday about how great and freeing

> this has been. They do not want to believe that diets dont work,

that

> legalizing can work and that we can eat whatever we want. They were

> like no way, we need to be on diets or else we'd go out of control.

> But what bothered me the most was them pretty much saying it's NOT

ok

> to be overweight. Which in the end means that we're not ok women.

> We're not good enough. They were insulting themselves and me! I was

> very sad by this. Bc I felt like they dont fully accept me and love

me

> unconditionally as a friend despite the fact I'm a few pounds

> overweight. They were telling me I'm NOT OK. I'm not allowed to

feel

> good about myself and happy being a little overweight.

> But then if I do lose weight and look good, then they'll be

envious.

> They still wont accept me and love me. So either way, it's a lose

lose

> situation.

>

January 19, 2007

I think another message we're hit with is that if we get skinny,

we'll get a new life. Even Oprah said it the other day (she says it

in a lot of her shows), if you lose weight, you'll have a new life,

that's what it's all about. But the thing is when you do lose

weight, u still have the same life. For a long time I didn't go for

massages, start grad school bc I thought I had to be skinny to do

it. So when I would drop the weight, but I still felt the same way.

The underlying reason was I felt I didnt deserve a massage and I

felt I couldnt handle grad school. So now I'm finally getting

massages and starting grad school and realizing, hey I dont need to

be skinny to do these things! It feels really great to conquer fears

and do things for myself and finally realizing the real reason as to

why i didnt do these things.

also ppl who are skinny don't have a better life. one of my

friend's, her whole family is stick thin, her cousins, aunts,

everyone. but the thing is all of the women in the family have big

health problems like endometriosis, they have trouble having kids,

one almost died giving birth (and was bed ridden for 6 months in her

pregnancy), some have trouble getting their periods, and it goes on.

i think we just need to learn to appreciate what we do have whatever

it is, cuz others wish they had it too.

> >

> > Well that didn't go to well. I was very disappointed at my

friends'

> > reactions. I told two of the yesterday about how great and

freeing

> > this has been. They do not want to believe that diets dont work,

> that

> > legalizing can work and that we can eat whatever we want. They

were

> > like no way, we need to be on diets or else we'd go out of

control.

> > But what bothered me the most was them pretty much saying it's

NOT

> ok

> > to be overweight. Which in the end means that we're not ok

women.

> > We're not good enough. They were insulting themselves and me! I

was

> > very sad by this. Bc I felt like they dont fully accept me and

love

> me

> > unconditionally as a friend despite the fact I'm a few pounds

> > overweight. They were telling me I'm NOT OK. I'm not allowed to

> feel

> > good about myself and happy being a little overweight.

> > But then if I do lose weight and look good, then they'll be

> envious.

> > They still wont accept me and love me. So either way, it's a

lose

> lose

> > situation.

> >

>

January 19, 2007

You're so right about the waiting to do things. I always think I

can't do stuff until I get skinny. I have a friend who's large and

she does everything. I love it! I hope to be just like her. She

has an MBA and a very succesful job, she has a husband and just had

twins etc. etc. Knowing her has made me think I need to be the same

way. For the 6 months of my life that I was actually skinny (very

unhealthy crash diet that worked for a while) I was cold all the time

and it hurt to sit on chairs. Somebody, maybe Wiener,

wrote a book called Life Doesn't Begin 5 Pounds From Now, or

something like that. I haven't read it but maybe it's good. She

also writes fiction novels with curvy heroines. I have read some and

they are good. Oy! I go on and on!

> > >

> > > Well that didn't go to well. I was very disappointed at my

> friends'

> > > reactions. I told two of the yesterday about how great and

> freeing

> > > this has been. They do not want to believe that diets dont

work,

> > that

> > > legalizing can work and that we can eat whatever we want. They

> were

> > > like no way, we need to be on diets or else we'd go out of

> control.

> > > But what bothered me the most was them pretty much saying it's

> NOT

> > ok

> > > to be overweight. Which in the end means that we're not ok

> women.

> > > We're not good enough. They were insulting themselves and me! I

> was

> > > very sad by this. Bc I felt like they dont fully accept me and

> love

> > me

> > > unconditionally as a friend despite the fact I'm a few pounds

> > > overweight. They were telling me I'm NOT OK. I'm not allowed to

> > feel

> > > good about myself and happy being a little overweight.

> > > But then if I do lose weight and look good, then they'll be

> > envious.

> > > They still wont accept me and love me. So either way, it's a

> lose

> > lose

> > > situation.

> > >

> >

>

January 20, 2007

Well, yes and no. If you are avoiding life because you're overweight, you

WILL have a new life when you lose weight. In some ways you have a new life

whether you're putting things off " til I'm skinnier " or not. You may find

that you love how you look in clothing, whereas when you were heavier

shopping for clothing was a hated chore, you may get better service in

stores and restaurants, you may feel less self conscious speaking to a group

of people, you may get more attention from men and women, etc. No, your

interfering mom won't suddenly back off, your lazy kids won't suddenly pick

up their dirty clothes, and your annoying co-worker won't suddenly become

your best friend. But your life definitely changes.

>

>I think another message we're hit with is that if we get skinny,

>we'll get a new life. Even Oprah said it the other day (she says it

>in a lot of her shows), if you lose weight, you'll have a new life,

>that's what it's all about. But the thing is when you do lose

>weight, u still have the same life.

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January 20, 2007