Re: Binged today, any advice??

[Guest guest]

Did this go out?

>

> Hey guys,

> So I had a great day yesterday but almost fell into a binge episode.

> To avoid it I had to leave my house to my bros and we ended up eating

> thai food. Usually I never eat the full curry chicken but this time I

> ate my green curry and enjoyed every bite. Then I had some ice cream

> later, butter pecan, and it tasted so good but I still felt sad that I

> had to leave my place earlier to escape bingeing. I hate when I run

> away from food but sometimes it feels like I'm doing the right thing.

>

> Anyway, this morning I woke up and I wasn't feeling so hot because of

> all the junk eaten yesterday so I went for a run to make myself feel

> better. I felt so alive running again after 3 days of taking off so I

> truly enjoyed that part but since I've had an ED in the past I'm still

> holding myself back from being too healthy yet. When I do this I truly

> doubt whether I'm doing the right thing because I wanted to eat

> healthy today but I also have a list of taboo foods and I haven't

> tried all of them yet (not that I should even try to have every single

> one of them on the list.)

>

> In any case, I went to BJ's pizza, ate a small mini by my lonesome,

> although I was feeling a ton of anxiety at the time, I ate half the

> pizza and saved the other half for later but I still felt way

> unsatisfied. I wanted to get some ice cream or something to finish it

> off but my mind was saying " no, food will always be there, you've had

> enough for now " . Anywya I ended up going to Albertsons and buying a

> salad because I couldn't control my hunger although I knew that the

> best thing is probably just finish off the pizza or eat some frozen

> yogurt which I wanted.

>

> After, I came home, but being half satisfied food was still on my

> mind. I sat down to play some video games but kept thinking about my

> laundry to do, but also being somewhat scared of bingeing/going

> overboard. Finally when I decided to get up an hour later I couldn't

> control and I went into the fridge, ate the other half of the pizza

> and then had some focaccia bread along with it. Still not fully

> satisfied, probably due to waiting so long, I felt like eating a

> brownie but once again started to peruse binge eating behaviors by

> trying to avoid it. Fortunately due to this book I didn't do much

> eating around it until I decided to give myself the brownie but I only

> had half and still wasn't satisfied, but I said this time I have to be

> done, so I walked away.

>

> Anyway, I'm heading out now, but just a few minutes ago when I

> realized I'm not going to be home till 12pm tonight, right now it's

> 6:00pm, I felt like I'm not allowing myself food, even though my

> biological hunger is at a level 7 or 8. Maybe I felt I hadn't eaten

> enough today or at least that I may not get to eat again so I ended up

> walking into the kitchen, but fearing that I'm going against my IE

> principles I tried avoiding food, but couldn't do it, I ended up

> pouring cereal which I didn't want, then finally decided to eat half a

> sandwich, and that didn't fully satisfy me either, so I ended up

> following some binge behavior by snacking on stuff in the cupboard and

> even sipping sugar free syrup. I need guidance and help because I feel

> I've gone backwards again. What's wrong with me? Am I trying to make

> IE like a diet for myself? Any help would be appreciated? Thanks.

>