Robyn

[Guest guest]

Robyn,

You stated so eloquently what I have tried to verbalize for

years about my relationship with my parents. I left Oklahoma

because I had to for my sanity. In a nutshell, my father is a

control freak and a gambler and my mother is an enabler. She

dismissed his emotional abusive behavior as being unable to show his

daughters any affection or approval. I have never regretted leaving

and have never looked back, but at the same time, I wish them no ill

will and wish that they live in peace also. My marriage to Bob

brought much healing in my life. He grew up in a far worse

situation and he was determined that he never wanted to repeat the

mistakes his parents made in our family. It is interesting that when

we were of elementary age we lived within two blocks of each other

but never knew it.

Thank you, also for remembering our nation's birth. I am

embarrassed to ask because I should know, but does Australia have a

similar holiday?

Hugs and love,

Melinda

[Guest guest]

Good Morning Melinda,

I learnt of a term years ago called "boundaries". I don't know whether you know of it. It really means that we protect our inner selves by seeing that we are entities in our own selves and do not have to take on other people's entities for us or their issues. By being very conscious of these "boundaries" and respecting them I can see the difference between who I am and who they are, or what they want me to be. It was only when I could clearly define this that I learnt how to best cope with my parents. I could see that they manipulated me emotionally (and had done into my 40's and even somewhat into my early 50's). My marriage to Bob has also taught me to see these boundaries even more clearly because he has come into my life only in the last 2 years and therefore he isn't caught up in my parent's "games" and can define them for me as he sees them. So my boundaries have become even stronger as a result. This does not mean that

I don't have contact with my parents - I do, they only live 500 metres from our place, but we set the guidelines on our relationship with them i.e. when we will see them, why or on what circumstances etc, and they know they can't just walk in or tell us what to do in our lives. It works really well.

As well, by having a very clear awareness of boundaries I have had the opportunity to learn how my parents are also a product of their upbringing. My mother and father have both recorded for the family their childhood histories etc. and views of the world. It makes for extremely interesting reading. I can see that the way they treated me was an improvement on what happened to them as children, but that many of the patterns were repeated with us - although on a much milder basis than they endured. This helps me to see that they are human and can't necessarily understand the harm that they did to us as children because to them our childhoods were great compared to theirs. I can see this. They didn't push that down our throats, it didn't really get mentioned, it was just an awareness I came to when I read their histories.

I don't know whether you have ever been able to have this opportunity to learn about your parents. I'm not suggesting you do it if you prefer to keep them right out of your life. I know I had to do that for many, many years. But it has brought some peace to my life since I've done it because I get a better perspective on it all and can just accept that some things just "are".

I also know that as a mother, without even wanting to, I've also made some mistakes with my, now adult, children. It just goes to show me that humans are not perfect.

I don't mean this to sound like a sermon. It isn't meant to be. I'm hoping that you can just find peace and contentment in your life. Peace also brings healing. I accept that I am not perfect, that life is not perfect, that the world is not perfect but that I can make a difference in my world to the life of those around me and it can be a positive difference.

(((hugs, hugs, hugs)))

RobynMelinda Hohenberger wrote:

Robyn, You stated so eloquently what I have tried to verbalize for years about my relationship with my parents. I left Oklahoma because I had to for my sanity. In a nutshell, my father is a control freak and a gambler and my mother is an enabler. She dismissed his emotional abusive behavior as being unable to show his daughters any affection or approval. I have never regretted leaving and have never looked back, but at the same time, I wish them no ill will and wish that they live in peace also. My marriage to Bob brought much healing in my life. He grew up in a far worse situation and he was determined that he never wanted to repeat the mistakes his parents made in our family. It is interesting that when we were of elementary age we lived within two blocks of each other

but never knew it. Thank you, also for remembering our nation's birth. I am embarrassed to ask because I should know, but does Australia have a similar holiday?Hugs and love,Melinda Please visit our website at:http://ACES_Autoimmune.tripod.com

[Guest guest]

Dear Shirley,

Yes, I have the inflammatory arthritis that goes with the crohn's. It is particularly bad today. I didn't sleep much last night with the pain. My joints are swollen. I've had heat bags on my hands, knees and feet all night and I've refreshed them again this morning as I sit at the computer to write. But it isn't helping all that much. I'm anxiously waiting to see the immunologist next Friday. I'm hopeful he will have some suggestions to help my condition. I take Panadeine Forte for the pain and extra prednisone. We had an unusually warm day yesterday, it was 24 degrees celcius. It was like a nice summer day. Then overnight it has blown a gale all night. They are forecasting some rain today. I don't know whether it is the wind, the change in weather (whatever the change is), or the forecast rain that is causing the revolting pain. What do others find is the precipitator?

But, having read your e-mails today, Shirley, I know I have nothing to complain about in comparison to you. Please know that you are in my prayers. I love the clip arts you put with your e-mails. Where do you get them from?

Have a good day.

(((hugs)))

Robyn

Yahoo! Mobile

- Check compose your email via SMS on your Telstra or Vodafone mobile.

[Guest guest]

Good Morning Jane,

My pain is a little better today than yesterday. I've got a fairly major migraine though with it. We had the most incredible wind storm the night before last. We didn't have much rain at all. Is it just a change in weather, wind or rain that causes the flare ups for you?

I'm still learning but the more I learn to understand my condition the easier it is to cope with it. So I appreciate your experience to help me learn.

RobynJane Hutchinson wrote:

Robyn, you were asking about precipitators for the increased pain with the arthritis? I definitely think that the weather bears a great deal of the blame. I used to say that I could predict the bad storms more accurately than the weather forecasters. Here we seem to always be under the threat of a storm every day so I'm not sure just how much variation in the barometer there is each day. I don't even look at the it anymore. I just know that I am using more and more pain patches each day to just be able to flex my hands so I can use them and to be able to sleep at night.

Jane

Re: robyn

Dear Shirley,

Yes, I have the inflammatory arthritis that goes with the crohn's. It is particularly bad today. I didn't sleep much last night with the pain. My joints are swollen. I've had heat bags on my hands, knees and feet all night and I've refreshed them again this morning as I sit at the computer to write. But it isn't helping all that much. I'm anxiously waiting to see the immunologist next Friday. I'm hopeful he will have some suggestions to help my condition. I take Panadeine Forte for the pain and extra prednisone. We had an unusually warm day yesterday, it was 24 degrees celcius. It was like a nice summer day. Then overnight it has blown a gale all night. They are forecasting some rain today. I don't know whether it is the wind, the change in weather (whatever the change is), or the forecast rain that is causing the revolting pain. What do others find is the precipitator?

But, having read your e-mails today, Shirley, I know I have nothing to complain about in comparison to you. Please know that you are in my prayers. I love the clip arts you put with your e-mails. Where do you get them from?

Have a good day.

(((hugs)))

Robyn

Yahoo! Mobile- Check & compose your email via SMS on your Telstra or Vodafone mobile. Please visit our website at:http://ACES_Autoimmune.tripod.com

[Guest guest]

Good Morning Jane,

My pain is a little better today than yesterday. I've got a fairly major migraine though with it. We had the most incredible wind storm the night before last. We didn't have much rain at all. Is it just a change in weather, wind or rain that causes the flare ups for you?

I'm still learning but the more I learn to understand my condition the easier it is to cope with it. So I appreciate your experience to help me learn.

RobynJane Hutchinson wrote:

Robyn, you were asking about precipitators for the increased pain with the arthritis? I definitely think that the weather bears a great deal of the blame. I used to say that I could predict the bad storms more accurately than the weather forecasters. Here we seem to always be under the threat of a storm every day so I'm not sure just how much variation in the barometer there is each day. I don't even look at the it anymore. I just know that I am using more and more pain patches each day to just be able to flex my hands so I can use them and to be able to sleep at night.

Jane

Re: robyn

Dear Shirley,

Yes, I have the inflammatory arthritis that goes with the crohn's. It is particularly bad today. I didn't sleep much last night with the pain. My joints are swollen. I've had heat bags on my hands, knees and feet all night and I've refreshed them again this morning as I sit at the computer to write. But it isn't helping all that much. I'm anxiously waiting to see the immunologist next Friday. I'm hopeful he will have some suggestions to help my condition. I take Panadeine Forte for the pain and extra prednisone. We had an unusually warm day yesterday, it was 24 degrees celcius. It was like a nice summer day. Then overnight it has blown a gale all night. They are forecasting some rain today. I don't know whether it is the wind, the change in weather (whatever the change is), or the forecast rain that is causing the revolting pain. What do others find is the precipitator?

But, having read your e-mails today, Shirley, I know I have nothing to complain about in comparison to you. Please know that you are in my prayers. I love the clip arts you put with your e-mails. Where do you get them from?

Have a good day.

(((hugs)))

Robyn

Yahoo! Mobile- Check & compose your email via SMS on your Telstra or Vodafone mobile. Please visit our website at:http://ACES_Autoimmune.tripod.com

[Guest guest]

Kathy,

Stress - what's life without stress! Does it exist? I wish there was a pill you could take to eliminate stress from your life but then again a sedative that strong would mean I couldn't also appreciate the good things going on around me, I suppose.

Being a "control freak" as my husband constantly reminds me, I find it difficult to handle this AI when it is linked to the weather and stress neither of which I can control. Oh well, I'm learning to just take life as it comes but I'm a slow, slow learner. But I know I am better than I was, although my husband has difficulty in believing this. But it's true.

(((Hugs)))

Robyne O'Hara wrote:

Robyn--I know for me weather is definitely a trigger. So is stress. And then sometimes it seems like there's no reason, it just flares.

Right now I have the weather and the stress to contend with, sigh.

Kathy

Re: robyn

Dear Shirley,

Yes, I have the inflammatory arthritis that goes with the crohn's. It is particularly bad today. I didn't sleep much last night with the pain. My joints are swollen. I've had heat bags on my hands, knees and feet all night and I've refreshed them again this morning as I sit at the computer to write. But it isn't helping all that much. I'm anxiously waiting to see the immunologist next Friday. I'm hopeful he will have some suggestions to help my condition. I take Panadeine Forte for the pain and extra prednisone. We had an unusually warm day yesterday, it was 24 degrees celcius. It was like a nice summer day. Then overnight it has blown a gale all night. They are forecasting some rain today. I don't know whether it is the wind, the change in weather (whatever the change is), or the forecast rain that is causing the revolting pain. What do others find is the precipitator?

But, having read your e-mails today, Shirley, I know I have nothing to complain about in comparison to you. Please know that you are in my prayers. I love the clip arts you put with your e-mails. Where do you get them from?

Have a good day.

(((hugs)))

Robyn

Yahoo! Mobile- Check & compose your email via SMS on your Telstra or Vodafone mobile. Please visit our website at:http://ACES_Autoimmune.tripod.com

[Guest guest]

Kathy,

Stress - what's life without stress! Does it exist? I wish there was a pill you could take to eliminate stress from your life but then again a sedative that strong would mean I couldn't also appreciate the good things going on around me, I suppose.

Being a "control freak" as my husband constantly reminds me, I find it difficult to handle this AI when it is linked to the weather and stress neither of which I can control. Oh well, I'm learning to just take life as it comes but I'm a slow, slow learner. But I know I am better than I was, although my husband has difficulty in believing this. But it's true.

(((Hugs)))

Robyne O'Hara wrote:

Robyn--I know for me weather is definitely a trigger. So is stress. And then sometimes it seems like there's no reason, it just flares.

Right now I have the weather and the stress to contend with, sigh.

Kathy

Re: robyn

Dear Shirley,

Yes, I have the inflammatory arthritis that goes with the crohn's. It is particularly bad today. I didn't sleep much last night with the pain. My joints are swollen. I've had heat bags on my hands, knees and feet all night and I've refreshed them again this morning as I sit at the computer to write. But it isn't helping all that much. I'm anxiously waiting to see the immunologist next Friday. I'm hopeful he will have some suggestions to help my condition. I take Panadeine Forte for the pain and extra prednisone. We had an unusually warm day yesterday, it was 24 degrees celcius. It was like a nice summer day. Then overnight it has blown a gale all night. They are forecasting some rain today. I don't know whether it is the wind, the change in weather (whatever the change is), or the forecast rain that is causing the revolting pain. What do others find is the precipitator?

But, having read your e-mails today, Shirley, I know I have nothing to complain about in comparison to you. Please know that you are in my prayers. I love the clip arts you put with your e-mails. Where do you get them from?

Have a good day.

(((hugs)))

Robyn

Yahoo! Mobile- Check & compose your email via SMS on your Telstra or Vodafone mobile. Please visit our website at:http://ACES_Autoimmune.tripod.com

[Guest guest]

Kathy,

Stress - what's life without stress! Does it exist? I wish there was a pill you could take to eliminate stress from your life but then again a sedative that strong would mean I couldn't also appreciate the good things going on around me, I suppose.

Being a "control freak" as my husband constantly reminds me, I find it difficult to handle this AI when it is linked to the weather and stress neither of which I can control. Oh well, I'm learning to just take life as it comes but I'm a slow, slow learner. But I know I am better than I was, although my husband has difficulty in believing this. But it's true.

(((Hugs)))

Robyne O'Hara wrote:

Robyn--I know for me weather is definitely a trigger. So is stress. And then sometimes it seems like there's no reason, it just flares.

Right now I have the weather and the stress to contend with, sigh.

Kathy

Re: robyn

Dear Shirley,

Yes, I have the inflammatory arthritis that goes with the crohn's. It is particularly bad today. I didn't sleep much last night with the pain. My joints are swollen. I've had heat bags on my hands, knees and feet all night and I've refreshed them again this morning as I sit at the computer to write. But it isn't helping all that much. I'm anxiously waiting to see the immunologist next Friday. I'm hopeful he will have some suggestions to help my condition. I take Panadeine Forte for the pain and extra prednisone. We had an unusually warm day yesterday, it was 24 degrees celcius. It was like a nice summer day. Then overnight it has blown a gale all night. They are forecasting some rain today. I don't know whether it is the wind, the change in weather (whatever the change is), or the forecast rain that is causing the revolting pain. What do others find is the precipitator?

But, having read your e-mails today, Shirley, I know I have nothing to complain about in comparison to you. Please know that you are in my prayers. I love the clip arts you put with your e-mails. Where do you get them from?

Have a good day.

(((hugs)))

Robyn

Yahoo! Mobile- Check & compose your email via SMS on your Telstra or Vodafone mobile. Please visit our website at:http://ACES_Autoimmune.tripod.com

[Guest guest]

Robyn - I've been getting more migraines than I have had in years lately. I find I get them after I have to take a bunch of pain meds, then the next day I'll have a migraine. Luckily my doc gave me something for them, but stressed not to take them at the same time as my pain pills. I don't remember what they're called but they have caffine and butibatal (sp?) in them.

[Guest guest]

Robyn, I think it is the change in the weather...anything that causes the barometric pressure to change. I remember years ago when I would be in such horrific pain particularly in my hips and back when the barometer was sinking to unbelievable lows just before a major snowstorm. This was even before I even had any real frequency of the aching that caused me to seek a dx for this blasted FMS. On a day when it is raining all day long, the pain level doesn't change that much. I may be aching but it is a constant aching, not a gyrating pain.

Jane

Re: robyn

Dear Shirley,

Yes, I have the inflammatory arthritis that goes with the crohn's. It is particularly bad today. I didn't sleep much last night with the pain. My joints are swollen. I've had heat bags on my hands, knees and feet all night and I've refreshed them again this morning as I sit at the computer to write. But it isn't helping all that much. I'm anxiously waiting to see the immunologist next Friday. I'm hopeful he will have some suggestions to help my condition. I take Panadeine Forte for the pain and extra prednisone. We had an unusually warm day yesterday, it was 24 degrees celcius. It was like a nice summer day. Then overnight it has blown a gale all night. They are forecasting some rain today. I don't know whether it is the wind, the change in weather (whatever the change is), or the forecast rain that is causing the revolting pain. What do others find is the precipitator?

But, having read your e-mails today, Shirley, I know I have nothing to complain about in comparison to you. Please know that you are in my prayers. I love the clip arts you put with your e-mails. Where do you get them from?

Have a good day.

(((hugs)))

Robyn

Yahoo! Mobile- Check & compose your email via SMS on your Telstra or Vodafone mobile. Please visit our website at:http://ACES_Autoimmune.tripod.com

[Guest guest]

Is that phenobarbitol that you are talking about? I've been supposed to stay off the Depakote (per pain doc) and I have had the bad headaches nearly every day. I just remembered there was another med that I had to have compounded that my doc in CA gave me which was for the headaches also. I must see if I have any more of them. Please let me know the name of your meds.

Jane

RE: robyn

Robyn - I've been getting more migraines than I have had in years lately. I find I get them after I have to take a bunch of pain meds, then the next day I'll have a migraine. Luckily my doc gave me something for them, but stressed not to take them at the same time as my pain pills. I don't remember what they're called but they have caffine and butibatal (sp?) in them.

Please visit our website at:http://ACES_Autoimmune.tripod.com