Guest guest Posted May 12, 1998 Report Share Posted May 12, 1998 Thanks Lynnie and Merril, I called and asked Shane if I could take tomorrow to give him and Connie a break and he said they had a good nite and they were both fine and I am worrying too much. I said you will see I am not. You don't know what happens in the day when you are gone, how things go. He says I don't want to get into this now Mom. I am doing some heavy praying. God will have to deal with this and I pray for angels and for help tomorrow. I am even telling myself if the worst were to happen he would be safe forevermore. I wish I could secret survilliance the house as bad as that sounds, I mean where is he getting these ideas and thoughts? I agree the TV & movies they have exposed them too are horrible and I have done my best to discourage and even stop it but to no avail. Many many other things I have tried to help with have been to no avail either even tho I have done them with the greatest tact and kindness I could, the other people in the family have tried to help too. I also agree Merril sometimes outside help is needed. It's out of my hands somewhat and always all is in His hands so .......... S. Re: I'm freaking- >From: GOLYNIE@... > >In a message dated 99-05-11 23:24:42 EDT, you write: > ><< Does anyone have any idea what the hell is happening here? > I want to demand they chk him for the mito, is this life and death enough >NOW? or does a 4 yr old have to die to get any help? My mind is going a >million differant ways all at once. > S. >> > >Dear : > >I've seen the Simpsons and don't let my kids watch it due to the charictors >and the subject matter. It is an OK cartoon for some, I repeat SOME adults, >but not proper viewing for a four year old! Also maybe he has some delays or >dementia and cant distinguish these things. He may feel secure near his dad, >maybe his mom ignores him and doesn't catch his need... seems like you have >said that she isnt attentive at times. Also your example of the window issue >seems to indicate that she is less mature, after all, she was the adult and >could have simply rolled up the window, cold or not, to calm an already upset >kid! > >Make your calls tomorrow and see what turns up. Keep us informed. We're here >for you, listening, and hoping all improves SOON!!! > >Lynnie > >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >How many communities do you think join ONElist each day? >http://www.onelist.com >More than 1,000! >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >Brought to you by www.imdn.org - an on-line support group for those affected by mitochondrial disease. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 1998 Report Share Posted May 13, 1998 Lori, Your observations are correct, we all know there is emotional and perhaps some physical abuse (yanking his arm or spanking too hard, too many & too long time outs) (what else who knows, it's scary to think about) going on but the therapist and Dr. agree it would take an act of congress to prove anything and remove him, also much time would pass and he would be even more upset being yanked around and into strange places, etc. We all have heard or seen how these things go. The t. said when he says something like " I am stupid " and she asks " who told you that? " he says " noone or I thought it " and she says even as young children they know to cover but she agrees with us that many of the ideas he spouts can't come from no where as you say. Therefore we feel the best way to approach this situation is for the therapist to involve her as much as possible and try to teach her better parenting skills, and encourage her to medicate and get counseling for herself for her own past abuse issues (her own mom has said she has this to deal with & wants the abuse cycle broken and wishes she would get help but then blocks the help by discouraging the med.), for all of us to be there for as much as possible, i.e. taking him for breaks, keeping as close an eye on it all the best we can, helping with skills to survive. It is deplorable the amount of child abuse that occurs on this earth and many times there is nothing anyone can do. I feel very two-faced and underhanded, disloyal, being one way with Connie because I do love and care about her with her problems and want to help her, yet wanting my grandson safe emotionally and physically and talking bad about her behind her back. I don't know how else to handle this problem. I pray continually and cry in my heart for the situation. But I also believe God expects us to use our brains and DO something about a situation so I am doing the best I can think of and thanks to Him there are others doing the same. The therapist is not getting any money for counseling yet she is doing this 2-3 times a wk. The Dr. is taking his off time to read my papers, listening and trusting what I tell him along with his own observations and going the extra mile, the rest of the family helps whenever they can despite their own problems. S. Re: I'm freaking- > > >Hi , > >I have to agree with Lynnie. The Simpson's is definately not material for a child to be watching. I >don't think you can reasonable expect any 4 year old (mito or not) to tell the difference between fantasy >and reality, and they especially are too young for the violence seen on shows like the Simpson's. Heck, I >won't let Alycia watch most Disney movies because of the out right violence and we shut off " Antz " after 5 >minutes because it was too violent for her. I don't think you should have to explain the mysteries of >death and violence to a four year old....they don't need to be exposed to this. > >I also have to agree that the mother sounds immature by keeping the window down. And.....where has he got >the idea about sleeping in the tub because he is no good? I hope his mother doesn't tell him " your no >good, you're sleeping in the tub tonight " becasue that what it sounds like is happening. Four year olds >repeat what they see, hear and experience. > >I think the parents need some help with parenting skills. Are there any parenting workshops in your >area? at local hospitals perhaps? at the local Association for Retarded Citizens? > >Maybe some of 's problem is mito but I think a lot of it may be the result on poor parenting skills. > >I am sorry to sound so harsh, but this is how it sounds. Not being there and seeing the situation, it is >hard to judge. > >I think this goes back to that saying " when you hear hoof steps outside the barn, look for horses, not >Zebras " . I think the simple parenting experiences is the Horse that is possible the root of 's >problem. > >Lori > > >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >Congratulations to " Trail Rider, " our latest ONElist of the Week. >http://www.ONElist.com >Visit our homepage and share with us how ONElist is changing YOUR life! >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >Brought to you by www.imdn.org - an on-line support group for those affected by mitochondrial disease. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 1998 Report Share Posted May 13, 1998 Lori, Your observations are correct, we all know there is emotional and perhaps some physical abuse (yanking his arm or spanking too hard, too many & too long time outs) (what else who knows, it's scary to think about) going on but the therapist and Dr. agree it would take an act of congress to prove anything and remove him, also much time would pass and he would be even more upset being yanked around and into strange places, etc. We all have heard or seen how these things go. The t. said when he says something like " I am stupid " and she asks " who told you that? " he says " noone or I thought it " and she says even as young children they know to cover but she agrees with us that many of the ideas he spouts can't come from no where as you say. Therefore we feel the best way to approach this situation is for the therapist to involve her as much as possible and try to teach her better parenting skills, and encourage her to medicate and get counseling for herself for her own past abuse issues (her own mom has said she has this to deal with & wants the abuse cycle broken and wishes she would get help but then blocks the help by discouraging the med.), for all of us to be there for as much as possible, i.e. taking him for breaks, keeping as close an eye on it all the best we can, helping with skills to survive. It is deplorable the amount of child abuse that occurs on this earth and many times there is nothing anyone can do. I feel very two-faced and underhanded, disloyal, being one way with Connie because I do love and care about her with her problems and want to help her, yet wanting my grandson safe emotionally and physically and talking bad about her behind her back. I don't know how else to handle this problem. I pray continually and cry in my heart for the situation. But I also believe God expects us to use our brains and DO something about a situation so I am doing the best I can think of and thanks to Him there are others doing the same. The therapist is not getting any money for counseling yet she is doing this 2-3 times a wk. The Dr. is taking his off time to read my papers, listening and trusting what I tell him along with his own observations and going the extra mile, the rest of the family helps whenever they can despite their own problems. S. Re: I'm freaking- > > >Hi , > >I have to agree with Lynnie. The Simpson's is definately not material for a child to be watching. I >don't think you can reasonable expect any 4 year old (mito or not) to tell the difference between fantasy >and reality, and they especially are too young for the violence seen on shows like the Simpson's. Heck, I >won't let Alycia watch most Disney movies because of the out right violence and we shut off " Antz " after 5 >minutes because it was too violent for her. I don't think you should have to explain the mysteries of >death and violence to a four year old....they don't need to be exposed to this. > >I also have to agree that the mother sounds immature by keeping the window down. And.....where has he got >the idea about sleeping in the tub because he is no good? I hope his mother doesn't tell him " your no >good, you're sleeping in the tub tonight " becasue that what it sounds like is happening. Four year olds >repeat what they see, hear and experience. > >I think the parents need some help with parenting skills. Are there any parenting workshops in your >area? at local hospitals perhaps? at the local Association for Retarded Citizens? > >Maybe some of 's problem is mito but I think a lot of it may be the result on poor parenting skills. > >I am sorry to sound so harsh, but this is how it sounds. Not being there and seeing the situation, it is >hard to judge. > >I think this goes back to that saying " when you hear hoof steps outside the barn, look for horses, not >Zebras " . I think the simple parenting experiences is the Horse that is possible the root of 's >problem. > >Lori > > >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >Congratulations to " Trail Rider, " our latest ONElist of the Week. >http://www.ONElist.com >Visit our homepage and share with us how ONElist is changing YOUR life! >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >Brought to you by www.imdn.org - an on-line support group for those affected by mitochondrial disease. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 12, 1999 Report Share Posted May 12, 1999 In a message dated 99-05-11 23:24:42 EDT, you write: << Does anyone have any idea what the hell is happening here? I want to demand they chk him for the mito, is this life and death enough NOW? or does a 4 yr old have to die to get any help? My mind is going a million differant ways all at once. S. >> Dear : I've seen the Simpsons and don't let my kids watch it due to the charictors and the subject matter. It is an OK cartoon for some, I repeat SOME adults, but not proper viewing for a four year old! Also maybe he has some delays or dementia and cant distinguish these things. He may feel secure near his dad, maybe his mom ignores him and doesn't catch his need... seems like you have said that she isnt attentive at times. Also your example of the window issue seems to indicate that she is less mature, after all, she was the adult and could have simply rolled up the window, cold or not, to calm an already upset kid! Make your calls tomorrow and see what turns up. Keep us informed. We're here for you, listening, and hoping all improves SOON!!! Lynnie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 12, 1999 Report Share Posted May 12, 1999 In a message dated 99-05-11 23:24:42 EDT, you write: << Does anyone have any idea what the hell is happening here? I want to demand they chk him for the mito, is this life and death enough NOW? or does a 4 yr old have to die to get any help? My mind is going a million differant ways all at once. S. >> Dear : I've seen the Simpsons and don't let my kids watch it due to the charictors and the subject matter. It is an OK cartoon for some, I repeat SOME adults, but not proper viewing for a four year old! Also maybe he has some delays or dementia and cant distinguish these things. He may feel secure near his dad, maybe his mom ignores him and doesn't catch his need... seems like you have said that she isnt attentive at times. Also your example of the window issue seems to indicate that she is less mature, after all, she was the adult and could have simply rolled up the window, cold or not, to calm an already upset kid! Make your calls tomorrow and see what turns up. Keep us informed. We're here for you, listening, and hoping all improves SOON!!! Lynnie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 12, 1999 Report Share Posted May 12, 1999 -- Just a suggestion from an old ER worker. Sometimes no matter how much you love somebody, the best help in a crisis will come from outside the immediate family. Since you are all so upset with the situation, perhaps the best thing for (despite the scary part for all of you) would be to have him admitted and observed. The mito part can then be tackled after the immediate problem has been dealt with. I wish you well. Merril Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 12, 1999 Report Share Posted May 12, 1999 -- Just a suggestion from an old ER worker. Sometimes no matter how much you love somebody, the best help in a crisis will come from outside the immediate family. Since you are all so upset with the situation, perhaps the best thing for (despite the scary part for all of you) would be to have him admitted and observed. The mito part can then be tackled after the immediate problem has been dealt with. I wish you well. Merril Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 12, 1999 Report Share Posted May 12, 1999 In a message dated 99-05-12 01:28:39 EDT, you write: << I wish I could secret survilliance the house as bad as that sounds, I mean where is he getting these ideas and thoughts? I agree the TV & movies they have exposed them too are horrible and I have done my best to discourage and even stop it but to no avail. Many many other things I have tried to help with have been to no avail either even tho I have done them with the greatest tact and kindness I could, the other people in the family have tried to help too. I also agree Merril sometimes outside help is needed. It's out of my hands somewhat and always all is in His hands so ......... S. >> Dear : As much as we love our children, when they grow to adulthood, there is a point where we MUST let go and let them live their own lives. They MUST make their own mistakes. We MUST allow them this freedom, not just for their own good, but for ours! You can't go on, even though your intentions are honorable and you have 's best interests at heart, raising their child for them. I know, ...I am the same way you are with my son, Shea...I just can't stand to see him hurting so I get overly-involved at times. But ya know, in the long run it doesn't help him learn responsability and it only makes me look neurotic. Your so gave you the answer... " not now, Mom. " That's pretty clear! So now your job, - and my job with son, Shea, is to Pray, Pray, Pray. Who else better to handle these larger-than-life situations than the Creator himself!? Now, find a quiet room, look up the Psalms in the old Testament and read the first to the last Psalm and all the ones in between. I garentee that you'll feel better...I know I always do. all my empathy, Lynnie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 12, 1999 Report Share Posted May 12, 1999 In a message dated 99-05-12 01:28:39 EDT, you write: << I wish I could secret survilliance the house as bad as that sounds, I mean where is he getting these ideas and thoughts? I agree the TV & movies they have exposed them too are horrible and I have done my best to discourage and even stop it but to no avail. Many many other things I have tried to help with have been to no avail either even tho I have done them with the greatest tact and kindness I could, the other people in the family have tried to help too. I also agree Merril sometimes outside help is needed. It's out of my hands somewhat and always all is in His hands so ......... S. >> Dear : As much as we love our children, when they grow to adulthood, there is a point where we MUST let go and let them live their own lives. They MUST make their own mistakes. We MUST allow them this freedom, not just for their own good, but for ours! You can't go on, even though your intentions are honorable and you have 's best interests at heart, raising their child for them. I know, ...I am the same way you are with my son, Shea...I just can't stand to see him hurting so I get overly-involved at times. But ya know, in the long run it doesn't help him learn responsability and it only makes me look neurotic. Your so gave you the answer... " not now, Mom. " That's pretty clear! So now your job, - and my job with son, Shea, is to Pray, Pray, Pray. Who else better to handle these larger-than-life situations than the Creator himself!? Now, find a quiet room, look up the Psalms in the old Testament and read the first to the last Psalm and all the ones in between. I garentee that you'll feel better...I know I always do. all my empathy, Lynnie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 12, 1999 Report Share Posted May 12, 1999 In a message dated 99-05-12 01:28:39 EDT, you write: << I wish I could secret survilliance the house as bad as that sounds, I mean where is he getting these ideas and thoughts? I agree the TV & movies they have exposed them too are horrible and I have done my best to discourage and even stop it but to no avail. Many many other things I have tried to help with have been to no avail either even tho I have done them with the greatest tact and kindness I could, the other people in the family have tried to help too. I also agree Merril sometimes outside help is needed. It's out of my hands somewhat and always all is in His hands so ......... S. >> Dear : As much as we love our children, when they grow to adulthood, there is a point where we MUST let go and let them live their own lives. They MUST make their own mistakes. We MUST allow them this freedom, not just for their own good, but for ours! You can't go on, even though your intentions are honorable and you have 's best interests at heart, raising their child for them. I know, ...I am the same way you are with my son, Shea...I just can't stand to see him hurting so I get overly-involved at times. But ya know, in the long run it doesn't help him learn responsability and it only makes me look neurotic. Your so gave you the answer... " not now, Mom. " That's pretty clear! So now your job, - and my job with son, Shea, is to Pray, Pray, Pray. Who else better to handle these larger-than-life situations than the Creator himself!? Now, find a quiet room, look up the Psalms in the old Testament and read the first to the last Psalm and all the ones in between. I garentee that you'll feel better...I know I always do. all my empathy, Lynnie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 1999 Report Share Posted May 13, 1999 Hi , I have to agree with Lynnie. The Simpson's is definately not material for a child to be watching. I don't think you can reasonable expect any 4 year old (mito or not) to tell the difference between fantasy and reality, and they especially are too young for the violence seen on shows like the Simpson's. Heck, I won't let Alycia watch most Disney movies because of the out right violence and we shut off " Antz " after 5 minutes because it was too violent for her. I don't think you should have to explain the mysteries of death and violence to a four year old....they don't need to be exposed to this. I also have to agree that the mother sounds immature by keeping the window down. And.....where has he got the idea about sleeping in the tub because he is no good? I hope his mother doesn't tell him " your no good, you're sleeping in the tub tonight " becasue that what it sounds like is happening. Four year olds repeat what they see, hear and experience. I think the parents need some help with parenting skills. Are there any parenting workshops in your area? at local hospitals perhaps? at the local Association for Retarded Citizens? Maybe some of 's problem is mito but I think a lot of it may be the result on poor parenting skills. I am sorry to sound so harsh, but this is how it sounds. Not being there and seeing the situation, it is hard to judge. I think this goes back to that saying " when you hear hoof steps outside the barn, look for horses, not Zebras " . I think the simple parenting experiences is the Horse that is possible the root of 's problem. Lori Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 1999 Report Share Posted May 13, 1999 Hi , I have to agree with Lynnie. The Simpson's is definately not material for a child to be watching. I don't think you can reasonable expect any 4 year old (mito or not) to tell the difference between fantasy and reality, and they especially are too young for the violence seen on shows like the Simpson's. Heck, I won't let Alycia watch most Disney movies because of the out right violence and we shut off " Antz " after 5 minutes because it was too violent for her. I don't think you should have to explain the mysteries of death and violence to a four year old....they don't need to be exposed to this. I also have to agree that the mother sounds immature by keeping the window down. And.....where has he got the idea about sleeping in the tub because he is no good? I hope his mother doesn't tell him " your no good, you're sleeping in the tub tonight " becasue that what it sounds like is happening. Four year olds repeat what they see, hear and experience. I think the parents need some help with parenting skills. Are there any parenting workshops in your area? at local hospitals perhaps? at the local Association for Retarded Citizens? Maybe some of 's problem is mito but I think a lot of it may be the result on poor parenting skills. I am sorry to sound so harsh, but this is how it sounds. Not being there and seeing the situation, it is hard to judge. I think this goes back to that saying " when you hear hoof steps outside the barn, look for horses, not Zebras " . I think the simple parenting experiences is the Horse that is possible the root of 's problem. Lori Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 1999 Report Share Posted May 13, 1999 Hi , I have to agree with Lynnie. The Simpson's is definately not material for a child to be watching. I don't think you can reasonable expect any 4 year old (mito or not) to tell the difference between fantasy and reality, and they especially are too young for the violence seen on shows like the Simpson's. Heck, I won't let Alycia watch most Disney movies because of the out right violence and we shut off " Antz " after 5 minutes because it was too violent for her. I don't think you should have to explain the mysteries of death and violence to a four year old....they don't need to be exposed to this. I also have to agree that the mother sounds immature by keeping the window down. And.....where has he got the idea about sleeping in the tub because he is no good? I hope his mother doesn't tell him " your no good, you're sleeping in the tub tonight " becasue that what it sounds like is happening. Four year olds repeat what they see, hear and experience. I think the parents need some help with parenting skills. Are there any parenting workshops in your area? at local hospitals perhaps? at the local Association for Retarded Citizens? Maybe some of 's problem is mito but I think a lot of it may be the result on poor parenting skills. I am sorry to sound so harsh, but this is how it sounds. Not being there and seeing the situation, it is hard to judge. I think this goes back to that saying " when you hear hoof steps outside the barn, look for horses, not Zebras " . I think the simple parenting experiences is the Horse that is possible the root of 's problem. Lori Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 14, 1999 Report Share Posted May 14, 1999 If anything were to happen, always remember you tried to help. Sometimes you " just can't " change something. I'll keep you and your son's family in my prayers. Amy (mom to the younger) Re: I'm freaking- > > >>From: GOLYNIE@... >> >>In a message dated 99-05-11 23:24:42 EDT, you write: >> >><< Does anyone have any idea what the hell is happening here? >> I want to demand they chk him for the mito, is this life and death enough >>NOW? or does a 4 yr old have to die to get any help? My mind is going a >>million differant ways all at once. >> S. >> >> >>Dear : >> >>I've seen the Simpsons and don't let my kids watch it due to the charictors >>and the subject matter. It is an OK cartoon for some, I repeat SOME >adults, >>but not proper viewing for a four year old! Also maybe he has some delays >or >>dementia and cant distinguish these things. He may feel secure near his >dad, >>maybe his mom ignores him and doesn't catch his need... seems like you have >>said that she isnt attentive at times. Also your example of the window >issue >>seems to indicate that she is less mature, after all, she was the adult and >>could have simply rolled up the window, cold or not, to calm an already >upset >>kid! >> >>Make your calls tomorrow and see what turns up. Keep us informed. We're >here >>for you, listening, and hoping all improves SOON!!! >> >>Lynnie >> >>------------------------------------------------------------------------ >>How many communities do you think join ONElist each day? >>http://www.onelist.com >>More than 1,000! >>------------------------------------------------------------------------ >>Brought to you by www.imdn.org - an on-line support group for those >affected by mitochondrial disease. >> > > >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >Got an opinion? >http://www.onelist.com >Make it count! Sign up for the ONElist Weekly Survey now. >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >Brought to you by www.imdn.org - an on-line support group for those affected by mitochondrial disease. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 14, 1999 Report Share Posted May 14, 1999 If anything were to happen, always remember you tried to help. Sometimes you " just can't " change something. I'll keep you and your son's family in my prayers. Amy (mom to the younger) Re: I'm freaking- > > >>From: GOLYNIE@... >> >>In a message dated 99-05-11 23:24:42 EDT, you write: >> >><< Does anyone have any idea what the hell is happening here? >> I want to demand they chk him for the mito, is this life and death enough >>NOW? or does a 4 yr old have to die to get any help? My mind is going a >>million differant ways all at once. >> S. >> >> >>Dear : >> >>I've seen the Simpsons and don't let my kids watch it due to the charictors >>and the subject matter. It is an OK cartoon for some, I repeat SOME >adults, >>but not proper viewing for a four year old! Also maybe he has some delays >or >>dementia and cant distinguish these things. He may feel secure near his >dad, >>maybe his mom ignores him and doesn't catch his need... seems like you have >>said that she isnt attentive at times. Also your example of the window >issue >>seems to indicate that she is less mature, after all, she was the adult and >>could have simply rolled up the window, cold or not, to calm an already >upset >>kid! >> >>Make your calls tomorrow and see what turns up. Keep us informed. We're >here >>for you, listening, and hoping all improves SOON!!! >> >>Lynnie >> >>------------------------------------------------------------------------ >>How many communities do you think join ONElist each day? >>http://www.onelist.com >>More than 1,000! >>------------------------------------------------------------------------ >>Brought to you by www.imdn.org - an on-line support group for those >affected by mitochondrial disease. >> > > >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >Got an opinion? >http://www.onelist.com >Make it count! Sign up for the ONElist Weekly Survey now. >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >Brought to you by www.imdn.org - an on-line support group for those affected by mitochondrial disease. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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