Update from --Any advice appreciated

[Guest guest]

Hello all,

I see today a number of people have been writing about depression and

other hardships related to MS. For almost 2 years now, I have been

battling MS and all its ramifications (physical, emotional,

financial, and relationship problems).

In the almost 2 years since my symptoms/diagnosis, I have had daily

symptoms without remission or distinct attacks. I most likely fit

into the Primary Progressive group, though my neuro says I am

progressive-relapsing (I don't think his classification fits to what

I have). Overall, I don't think there has been a decline or any

distinct exacerbations or remissions. There are just daily symptoms

of vision loss, bladder problems, stiffness, numbness, fatigue, and

brain fog....A few days ago, I lost bladder control for the first

time. I previously have had plenty of bladder problems (daily

urgency, frequent urination in small amounts), but I always made it

to the bathroom in time. This was the first time I urinated on myself.

On top of this setback, my boyfriend of 3 years (and my main support

and love of my life) has been telling me lately that he is not happy,

that we don't have any fun anymore, that I'm always sleeping, that we

don't do outdoor activities, and that he is overwhelmed by both me

and his brother having disabilities. Since my boyfriend has been

telling me this, I am growing more anxious and depressed at the idea

that he may break up with me. I don't have any family and have few

friends and I would be lost without his love and support. I

understand that he wants to be happy and he deserves to be, so I

can't blame him for his feelings and I think he should be able to

share them with me. But i also pray he will hang in there with me

while I continue to fight this.

As to my depression, it got so bad that I went on Prozac for a while

but found that I had lucid dreaming which was already a problem from

being on LDN. I could never get a decent night's sleep--disturbing

dreams all night long, so I stopped the Prozac. The depression and

anxiety continue.

I have followed many of the alternative treatments for MS in this

group (LDN, amalgam removal, various diets, supplements, colon

cleanses, chiropractics, etc, etc). I don't seem to be getting

better, and coming up on two years now, I am growing so frustrated,

especially now with the added concern of my boyfriend leaving me.

Thanks for reading, and any advice is appreciated--especially any

advice on my boyfriend situation, which is most on my mind right now.

In the past, he used to tell me not to worry about him and just focus

on getting better, but now it seems that he is running out of

patience or something.

On another note, my heart goes out to those others who are suffering

and haven't been able to get a handle on this either.

Regards,