Re: Day two of conquering the cookies!

January 9, 2007

I can relate to your cookie experience. When I first started this process a few

years ago, I

ate chocolate chip cookie dough every day for a month. Not every meal, but for

a lot of

meals. As Geneen Roth writes in her book, I ate the dough as though I was

making myself

a gourmet meal.

I didn't lick, scoop, sneak any from the bowl. I thoughtfully, respectfully put

rolled cookie

dough onto my plate. Lit a candle or two, had beautiful napkins, my favorite

plate and ate

slowly almost meditatively. I ate it when I was hungry, when it was really what

I wanted

and stopped when full.

Little by little I ate less and less cookie dough and wanted something else.

Kraft dinner.

Yup. I then ate KD every day for a month. For the first time I bought 12 boxes

at a time in

a case lot sale. Every time I'd get to 3 or 4 boxes left I'd buy another case.

These were

two of the most forbidden foods growing up.

At the time, did I feel yucky. Yup. Did I gain weight? Yuppers again. And

I'd do it all over

again if I needed to. Now I have piles of chocolate in my cupboards, drawers

and freezer

and don't think twice about it. Rarely do I buy KD now. I've moved up to

Annie's pasta

and the rare times I want it, it's as a side dish to a big salad. Not because

I think I

should, because it's truly all I want.

To me, this is freedom.

> Okay, sorry if this cookie update is driving you crazy. I really need

> somewhere to get these thoughts out, though. I don't have anyone I can

> talk to about my food struggles in real life.

>

> Okay, so as you all know I made cookies yesterday and overate them by

> a lot, although I wouldn't call it a binge, as I was very mindful

> about eating them and I wasn't beating myself up. I just definitely

> ate way past my full point..I was absolutely stuffed.

>

> So today after lunch, I finished the rest of the batch...so of course

> what did I do? I made more, lol! After dinner, I was ready to let lose

> w/the cookies. I made a double batch and ate dough as I made them. I

> made five yummy cookies and poured a big glass of milk. I had all the

> freshly made cookies on a plate in front of me and I could only eat

> three! I was just too full to enjoy them! At first I thought " Okay,

> I'll just eat the two leftovers tomorrow " but then I realized... " Wait

> a minute, I don't really like leftover cookies, I really only like

> them hot from the oven. " So I threw away the two cookies. If I want

> more tomorrow, I will make them from the frozen cookie dough batch so

> I can have them hot the way I want them.

>

> Okay, so I've probably gained a pound in the last day and a half. I

> have a stomach ache and I just feel yucky. I'm still considering this

> progress though. In times past I would have binged the entire day and

> overeaten many other foods...

>

> That's all I've got tonight. Hope you all are doing well.

>

January 13, 2007

To me, this is freedom.This brought tears to my eyes!!! Oh, how I want to get there! SylvieOn 1/10/07, mermaid_laughing <

mermaid_laughing@...> wrote:

I can relate to your cookie experience. When I first started this process a few years ago, I

ate chocolate chip cookie dough every day for a month. Not every meal, but for a lot of

meals. As Geneen Roth writes in her book, I ate the dough as though I was making myself

a gourmet meal.

I didn't lick, scoop, sneak any from the bowl. I thoughtfully, respectfully put rolled cookie

dough onto my plate. Lit a candle or two, had beautiful napkins, my favorite plate and ate

slowly almost meditatively. I ate it when I was hungry, when it was really what I wanted

and stopped when full.

Little by little I ate less and less cookie dough and wanted something else. Kraft dinner.

Yup. I then ate KD every day for a month. For the first time I bought 12 boxes at a time in

a case lot sale. Every time I'd get to 3 or 4 boxes left I'd buy another case. These were

two of the most forbidden foods growing up.

At the time, did I feel yucky. Yup. Did I gain weight? Yuppers again. And I'd do it all over

again if I needed to. Now I have piles of chocolate in my cupboards, drawers and freezer

and don't think twice about it. Rarely do I buy KD now. I've moved up to Annie's pasta

and the rare times I want it, it's as a side dish to a big salad. Not because I think I