Re: ARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!! He Said IT Again!!!!!

November 20, 2006

Sandi, does your husband ever do the cooking? Part of what got me

fed up with dieting was all the obsession that went into shopping,

planning, and cooking in addition to eating. I wonder if it would

help him or not to reach a turning point in his opinions about

dieting.

Thanks for posting this. It makes me realize what I pain in the

butt I have been to other people over food. I am sort of embarassed

thinking back about it. :-( I know I angered my husband a lot by

hovering over him when he cooked.

Amy

>

> Tonight, I made Mahi Mahi topped with pineapple salsa, plain green

> beans and a green salad with a fat free vinaigrette. My husband

had

> the nerve to say, " What's more fattening, this or steak? "

>

> My reply was that they are both healthy foods and aren't fattening

if

> eaten in moderation.

>

> It's so hard trying not to let his issues be my issues.

>

November 20, 2006

I didnt think Mahi Mahi was even fattening at all, definitely not the vegetables. If this makes you feel any better about any of this, last saturday night my boyfriend and i were haing a nice evening just hanging out- i had a glass of wine, he had a few beers. Well, he had jsut enough to kind of say anything with out feeling bad ( I think because he knew that he could apologize in the morning and he had an "excuse" for saying it, even though i made it clear that just because he has had a few drinks does not excuse anything) we were talking about gaining weight, losing weight, etc. He told me that I have gained weight since last year- my stomache did a triple flip. I was so mad, and so upset, and so hurt it was unbelievable. Of course, he apologized in the morning and couldnt believe he said that. I explained to him though that just because he had been drinking doesnt excuse it, and it was very real to me. SO, im still kind of hurting over that, and he is extremely

apologetic, but I have been kind of feeling down over that.Sandi wrote: Tonight, I made Mahi Mahi topped with pineapple salsa, plain green beans and a green salad with a fat free vinaigrette. My husband had the nerve to say, "What's more fattening, this or steak?" My reply was that they are both healthy foods and aren't fattening if eaten in moderation. It's so hard trying not to let his issues be my issues.

November 20, 2006

He will not cook. Period. End of story. When he was single, he

would eat a bowl of Raisin Bran for dinner if he ate at all.

> >

> > Tonight, I made Mahi Mahi topped with pineapple salsa, plain green

> > beans and a green salad with a fat free vinaigrette. My husband

> had

> > the nerve to say, " What's more fattening, this or steak? "

> >

> > My reply was that they are both healthy foods and aren't fattening

> if

> > eaten in moderation.

> >

> > It's so hard trying not to let his issues be my issues.

> >

>

November 20, 2006

Kelley, you're right. Mahi Mahi isn't fattening at all. ly, it

was a diet-type meal. I wasn't really trying for a diet-type meal,

but I wasn't very hungry because I had a big lunch. I needed to fix

something for husband and son. I am a big believer in the family

dining together, so I ate some of my fish and all of my green beans

and salad.

If you scroll down, you'll find my thread about how I'm worried my

husband has a borderline eating disorder. This is an example of how

he tries to make his issues my issues. I cannot allow that to

continue happening. I need to be able to respond lovingly and

rationally to his irrational comments. Seriously, does his comment

sound the least bit rational?

Tonight, I made Mahi Mahi topped with pineapple salsa, plain green

> beans and a green salad with a fat free vinaigrette. My husband had

> the nerve to say, " What's more fattening, this or steak? "

>

> My reply was that they are both healthy foods and aren't fattening if

> eaten in moderation.

>

> It's so hard trying not to let his issues be my issues.

>

November 20, 2006

Thanks for the support, Kelley. I think my best strategy is to stand

my ground with the intuitive eating, even if I have to repeat things

over and over and over. He's only going to get help if he thinks it's

his idea, so I'll have to find subtle ways of planting the seed in his

brain. And, maybe if I keep repeating the mantra of eating for

hunger, eating for taste, eating until satisfied, maybe that will

replace some of the negativity in his head.

> Tonight, I made Mahi Mahi topped with pineapple salsa, plain green

> > beans and a green salad with a fat free vinaigrette. My husband had

> > the nerve to say, " What's more fattening, this or steak? "

> >

> > My reply was that they are both healthy foods and aren't

fattening if

> > eaten in moderation.

> >

> > It's so hard trying not to let his issues be my issues.

> >

>

November 20, 2006

Thanks for the support, Kelley. I think my best strategy is to stand

my ground with the intuitive eating, even if I have to repeat things

over and over and over. He's only going to get help if he thinks it's

his idea, so I'll have to find subtle ways of planting the seed in his

brain. And, maybe if I keep repeating the mantra of eating for

hunger, eating for taste, eating until satisfied, maybe that will

replace some of the negativity in his head.

> Tonight, I made Mahi Mahi topped with pineapple salsa, plain green

> > beans and a green salad with a fat free vinaigrette. My husband had

> > the nerve to say, " What's more fattening, this or steak? "

> >

> > My reply was that they are both healthy foods and aren't

fattening if

> > eaten in moderation.

> >

> > It's so hard trying not to let his issues be my issues.

> >

>

November 21, 2006

Sandi,

Your husband's comments are definitely not rational. I think by

honoring yourself and learning IE for yourself, you will also help

him. He is going to need to want to change for himself. If he sees

you happy without food obsession, maybe he can see that there is a

happier way to live.

Is he reading the book you recommended to him yet?

Amy

> > Tonight, I made Mahi Mahi topped with pineapple salsa, plain

green

> > > beans and a green salad with a fat free vinaigrette. My

husband had

> > > the nerve to say, " What's more fattening, this or steak? "

> > >

> > > My reply was that they are both healthy foods and aren't

> fattening if

> > > eaten in moderation.

> > >

> > > It's so hard trying not to let his issues be my issues.

> > >

> >

>

November 21, 2006

No, he's not reading it. We were talking this morning and I was

explaining the concept to him yet again. He seems to think that I'm

eating too much. So, I asked what he ate yesterday. He had no

breakfast--just a Diet Coke. For lunch, he had a Chicken Fajita Pita

and a small fry at Jack in the Box. He came home and had 3 cookies

before heading to the gym. I've already described dinner. He

probably ate 4-6 oz. of fish. While I was at the gym, he ate about 5

100 calorie packs of snacks. I tried to explain to him that the

reason he's snacking uncontrollably in the evening is because his

body is starving and he's not feeding it. He just blew me off.

> > > Tonight, I made Mahi Mahi topped with pineapple salsa, plain

> green

> > > > beans and a green salad with a fat free vinaigrette. My

> husband had

> > > > the nerve to say, " What's more fattening, this or steak? "

> > > >

> > > > My reply was that they are both healthy foods and aren't

> > fattening if

> > > > eaten in moderation.

> > > >

> > > > It's so hard trying not to let his issues be my issues.

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

November 21, 2006