Re: How much weight did you gain in the beginning?

[Guest guest]

JEL,

You are right to believe that hanging on to weight numbers does make

it more difficult to accept your intuition. I think everyone's

experience learning IE is going to be different. We have different

reasons for turning to IE and different struggles. I wouldn't

assume that just because your friend gained 30 lbs, that you will

too. What if you did though? What if you were 30lbs heavier for a

week if it meant that you could maintain a healthy weight for

remaining YEARS of your life? Would that make it worth it? Do you

want to obsess about weight for the rest of your life?

Amy

>

> Hi everyone,

>

> I'm new here. I picked up the intuitive eating book years ago but

> discarded the concept becuase I was convinced " conventional

wisdom "

> that it was destined to fail becuase our bodies are helplessly

> addicted to sugers and refined carbs. I believed that we could no

> more be intuitive in the face of candy or chips then we could

about

> crack.

>

> Anyway, several years and several failed diets later, I am here

and

> desperate to end this obsession with food. It occupies me

> constantly.

>

> I know it would be better if I can give up my food obsessions. My

> problem is that one of my best friends swears by this concept and

in

> her beginning stages, she gained THIRTY pounds. I just don't know

> if I could make peace with that kind of weight gain. I feel like

> its a vicious trap. If I am concerned about the weight gain, the

> plan won't work and if I stop worrying about the weight gain, I'll

> gain more weight then I can tolerate????

>

> Have you all found this to be the usual patter?

>

> Thank you and thank you for letting me join this group.

>

> -JEL

>

[Guest guest]

JEL,

You are right to believe that hanging on to weight numbers does make

it more difficult to accept your intuition. I think everyone's

experience learning IE is going to be different. We have different

reasons for turning to IE and different struggles. I wouldn't

assume that just because your friend gained 30 lbs, that you will

too. What if you did though? What if you were 30lbs heavier for a

week if it meant that you could maintain a healthy weight for

remaining YEARS of your life? Would that make it worth it? Do you

want to obsess about weight for the rest of your life?

Amy

>

> Hi everyone,

>

> I'm new here. I picked up the intuitive eating book years ago but

> discarded the concept becuase I was convinced " conventional

wisdom "

> that it was destined to fail becuase our bodies are helplessly

> addicted to sugers and refined carbs. I believed that we could no

> more be intuitive in the face of candy or chips then we could

about

> crack.

>

> Anyway, several years and several failed diets later, I am here

and

> desperate to end this obsession with food. It occupies me

> constantly.

>

> I know it would be better if I can give up my food obsessions. My

> problem is that one of my best friends swears by this concept and

in

> her beginning stages, she gained THIRTY pounds. I just don't know

> if I could make peace with that kind of weight gain. I feel like

> its a vicious trap. If I am concerned about the weight gain, the

> plan won't work and if I stop worrying about the weight gain, I'll

> gain more weight then I can tolerate????

>

> Have you all found this to be the usual patter?

>

> Thank you and thank you for letting me join this group.

>

> -JEL

>

[Guest guest]

Amy,

You ask excellent questions. I want so much to make peace with the

idea of being heavier than I am now becuase I truly belive that it

is the only way for me to finally get rid of my food obsessions. In

so many ways, they are ruining my life. But wanting something

intellectually and accepting it emotionally are such different

things. I guess it takes practice.

Thanks,

Jelyn

> >

> > Hi everyone,

> >

> > I'm new here. I picked up the intuitive eating book years ago

but

> > discarded the concept becuase I was convinced " conventional

> wisdom "

> > that it was destined to fail becuase our bodies are helplessly

> > addicted to sugers and refined carbs. I believed that we could

no

> > more be intuitive in the face of candy or chips then we could

> about

> > crack.

> >

> > Anyway, several years and several failed diets later, I am here

> and

> > desperate to end this obsession with food. It occupies me

> > constantly.

> >

> > I know it would be better if I can give up my food obsessions.

My

> > problem is that one of my best friends swears by this concept

and

> in

> > her beginning stages, she gained THIRTY pounds. I just don't

know

> > if I could make peace with that kind of weight gain. I feel

like

> > its a vicious trap. If I am concerned about the weight gain, the

> > plan won't work and if I stop worrying about the weight gain,

I'll

> > gain more weight then I can tolerate????

> >

> > Have you all found this to be the usual patter?

> >

> > Thank you and thank you for letting me join this group.

> >

> > -JEL

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Amy,

You ask excellent questions. I want so much to make peace with the

idea of being heavier than I am now becuase I truly belive that it

is the only way for me to finally get rid of my food obsessions. In

so many ways, they are ruining my life. But wanting something

intellectually and accepting it emotionally are such different

things. I guess it takes practice.

Thanks,

Jelyn

> >

> > Hi everyone,

> >

> > I'm new here. I picked up the intuitive eating book years ago

but

> > discarded the concept becuase I was convinced " conventional

> wisdom "

> > that it was destined to fail becuase our bodies are helplessly

> > addicted to sugers and refined carbs. I believed that we could

no

> > more be intuitive in the face of candy or chips then we could

> about

> > crack.

> >

> > Anyway, several years and several failed diets later, I am here

> and

> > desperate to end this obsession with food. It occupies me

> > constantly.

> >

> > I know it would be better if I can give up my food obsessions.

My

> > problem is that one of my best friends swears by this concept

and

> in

> > her beginning stages, she gained THIRTY pounds. I just don't

know

> > if I could make peace with that kind of weight gain. I feel

like

> > its a vicious trap. If I am concerned about the weight gain, the

> > plan won't work and if I stop worrying about the weight gain,

I'll

> > gain more weight then I can tolerate????

> >

> > Have you all found this to be the usual patter?

> >

> > Thank you and thank you for letting me join this group.

> >

> > -JEL

> >

>

[Guest guest]

It might help you (and, it would seem, your friend) to pay particular

attention to eating slowly, stopping when you're satisfied (but not

stuffed), and being willing to store or discard the rest (i.e., resign

from the Clean Plate Club).

IE doesn't simply mean " do whatever you want. " It does allow

imperfection. (You can go crazy trying to be too careful

distinguishing satisfaction from hunger or over-fullness.) But it

requires gentle, persistent effort.

I can't see how one would gain 30 pounds taking this approach. It

might be necessary for some people to overeat for a time as a rebound

from dieting, and then start IE in earnest once they feel all food is

legal. Perhaps that is what your friend is doing or has done. I

don't believe for a second that it's necessary.

My advice is to go food shopping and stock up your kitchen. Buy

plenty of those Rubbermaid " serving savers " in various sizes so your

food is portable; they also eliminate any excuses for plate-cleaning.

Have food that you enjoy available to you AT ALL TIMES and promise

yourself that it will always be available. Once you do that, and

really, truly believe it, you won't subconciously gorge your food in

anticipation of mini-famines. Expect to eat every few hours, or even

more often. And enjoy it!

Bon appetit!

Tim

> I feel like its a vicious trap. If I am concerned about the weight

> gain, the plan won't work and if I stop worrying about the weight

> gain, I'll gain more weight then I can tolerate????

[Guest guest]

It might help you (and, it would seem, your friend) to pay particular

attention to eating slowly, stopping when you're satisfied (but not

stuffed), and being willing to store or discard the rest (i.e., resign

from the Clean Plate Club).

IE doesn't simply mean " do whatever you want. " It does allow

imperfection. (You can go crazy trying to be too careful

distinguishing satisfaction from hunger or over-fullness.) But it

requires gentle, persistent effort.

I can't see how one would gain 30 pounds taking this approach. It

might be necessary for some people to overeat for a time as a rebound

from dieting, and then start IE in earnest once they feel all food is

legal. Perhaps that is what your friend is doing or has done. I

don't believe for a second that it's necessary.

My advice is to go food shopping and stock up your kitchen. Buy

plenty of those Rubbermaid " serving savers " in various sizes so your

food is portable; they also eliminate any excuses for plate-cleaning.

Have food that you enjoy available to you AT ALL TIMES and promise

yourself that it will always be available. Once you do that, and

really, truly believe it, you won't subconciously gorge your food in

anticipation of mini-famines. Expect to eat every few hours, or even

more often. And enjoy it!

Bon appetit!

Tim

> I feel like its a vicious trap. If I am concerned about the weight

> gain, the plan won't work and if I stop worrying about the weight

> gain, I'll gain more weight then I can tolerate????

[Guest guest]

Welcome, Tim. That is all great advice....and a very good point,

it's not the IE that will make you gain weight. While trying to

learn IE, we may all struggle with different non-intuitive eating

that could result in weight gain. Those non-intuitive eating

patterns are likely to cause weight gain whether we are trying to

learn IE or not.

>

> > I feel like its a vicious trap. If I am concerned about the

weight

> > gain, the plan won't work and if I stop worrying about the

weight

> > gain, I'll gain more weight then I can tolerate????

>

[Guest guest]

Welcome, Tim. That is all great advice....and a very good point,

it's not the IE that will make you gain weight. While trying to

learn IE, we may all struggle with different non-intuitive eating

that could result in weight gain. Those non-intuitive eating

patterns are likely to cause weight gain whether we are trying to

learn IE or not.

>

> > I feel like its a vicious trap. If I am concerned about the

weight

> > gain, the plan won't work and if I stop worrying about the

weight

> > gain, I'll gain more weight then I can tolerate????

>

[Guest guest]

,

For recognizing hunger, this is what I have observed about myself.

Sometimes it is easy and you get the stomach growl or the light-

headedness.

Sometimes it is not so easy. For those not-so-easy times, I'll be

in the middle of doing something non-food related...working,

shopping, whatever, and I think about food. That's the first sign

that I might be hungry. Then, I try to see if it might just be

emotional eating...am I bored, am I procrastinating, am I trying to

avoid something? If not, this is a really good sign, that I am

really am hungry so I eat something.

I think it is a little more difficult when you add in the fact that

you are doing something food related like watching/reading about

cooking, grocery shopping, cooking, attending a restaurant, or being

presented with food from someone else. In this case, you are

definitely put in the position of food independant of hunger. For

these situations, I tend to rely on comparing the day to my normal

schedule. Would I normally be hungry right now or am I just

thinking about food because it is in front of me?

I hope that helps.

Amy

>

> > I feel like its a vicious trap. If I am concerned about the

weight

> > gain, the plan won't work and if I stop worrying about the

weight

> > gain, I'll gain more weight then I can tolerate????

>

[Guest guest]

,

For recognizing hunger, this is what I have observed about myself.

Sometimes it is easy and you get the stomach growl or the light-

headedness.

Sometimes it is not so easy. For those not-so-easy times, I'll be

in the middle of doing something non-food related...working,

shopping, whatever, and I think about food. That's the first sign

that I might be hungry. Then, I try to see if it might just be

emotional eating...am I bored, am I procrastinating, am I trying to

avoid something? If not, this is a really good sign, that I am

really am hungry so I eat something.

I think it is a little more difficult when you add in the fact that

you are doing something food related like watching/reading about

cooking, grocery shopping, cooking, attending a restaurant, or being

presented with food from someone else. In this case, you are

definitely put in the position of food independant of hunger. For

these situations, I tend to rely on comparing the day to my normal

schedule. Would I normally be hungry right now or am I just

thinking about food because it is in front of me?

I hope that helps.

Amy

>

> > I feel like its a vicious trap. If I am concerned about the

weight

> > gain, the plan won't work and if I stop worrying about the

weight

> > gain, I'll gain more weight then I can tolerate????

>

[Guest guest]

Actually, I disagree. You may gain weight. Your experience will

depend on your history.

I came to IE eating <1000/day and exercising heavily. When I

increased my calories to 1500/day (and believe me, I was counting,

weighing, etc) *without* decreasing my exercise --- I *gained* 10

pounds. When I moved my calories closer to 2000 (but not usually

over), I gained *another 10* pounds.

I don't want to scare anyone off IE - though I imagine I have - but

I think realistic expectations are important!

I have taught my body that it needs to get fat to protect itself

from my famine behaviors. My body is responding naturally to the way

I've treated it.

I have hopes that my weight will go down again. Who knows if it will

or how long it will take? But it is going to take time to heal my

metabolism, which I have damaged severely. Gaining weight is part of

the healing process.

Let me also say that I do not eat junk. I do not eat fried foods. I

do not eat white flour. I do not eat candy. I do not eat ice cream.

I gained this weight eating wholesome foods.

The body is a complex and highly intelligent organism. The

variations on this complexity and intelligence are, perhaps,

infinite. We are all going to have our own journeys.....

>

> > I feel like its a vicious trap. If I am concerned about the

weight

> > gain, the plan won't work and if I stop worrying about the

weight

> > gain, I'll gain more weight then I can tolerate????

>

[Guest guest]

were you under-weight before you started IE? i imagine if someone

starts off underweight, they'd gain and if they started off over-

weight, they'd lose. does this make sense to anyone else?

> >

> > > I feel like its a vicious trap. If I am concerned about the

> weight

> > > gain, the plan won't work and if I stop worrying about the

> weight

> > > gain, I'll gain more weight then I can tolerate????

> >

>

[Guest guest]

were you under-weight before you started IE? i imagine if someone

starts off underweight, they'd gain and if they started off over-

weight, they'd lose. does this make sense to anyone else?

> >

> > > I feel like its a vicious trap. If I am concerned about the

> weight

> > > gain, the plan won't work and if I stop worrying about the

> weight

> > > gain, I'll gain more weight then I can tolerate????

> >

>

[Guest guest]

were you under-weight before you started IE? i imagine if someone

starts off underweight, they'd gain and if they started off over-

weight, they'd lose. does this make sense to anyone else?

> >

> > > I feel like its a vicious trap. If I am concerned about the

> weight

> > > gain, the plan won't work and if I stop worrying about the

> weight

> > > gain, I'll gain more weight then I can tolerate????

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Well, intuitively, that makes sense.... and I suppose it would be

nice if it worked that way, but it doesn't.

Think of it this way -- undereating slows your metabolism. As much

as 40%! So say I can maintain my weight on 2500 calories a day.

But I want to lose a few pounds so I go on a diet of 1000 calories

a day. My metabolism slows. Now I decide that 1000 calories/day is

kind of depressing and I want to go back to my old way of eating.

But with a 40% slower metabolism, I only need to consume 1500

calories/days to put me back at my pre-diet weight -- when I *was*

eating 2500 calories! (It's more complex than that, of course, but

you get the point.)

See why low calorie diets are so destructive?

So it doesn't have anything to do with being over- or under-weight.

It has to do with how well your metabolism is working. And I shot my

metabolism (and other aspects of my health too) all to h***. When I

decided to start eating again, I was just a little under what I

consider my ideal weight. Now I'm over. But like I said, I figure

this is the price I have to pay for what I did. Nothing to do but

wait it out and keep eating intuitively!

> >

> > Actually, I disagree. You may gain weight. Your experience will

> > depend on your history.

[Guest guest]

Well, intuitively, that makes sense.... and I suppose it would be

nice if it worked that way, but it doesn't.

Think of it this way -- undereating slows your metabolism. As much

as 40%! So say I can maintain my weight on 2500 calories a day.

But I want to lose a few pounds so I go on a diet of 1000 calories

a day. My metabolism slows. Now I decide that 1000 calories/day is

kind of depressing and I want to go back to my old way of eating.

But with a 40% slower metabolism, I only need to consume 1500

calories/days to put me back at my pre-diet weight -- when I *was*

eating 2500 calories! (It's more complex than that, of course, but

you get the point.)

See why low calorie diets are so destructive?

So it doesn't have anything to do with being over- or under-weight.

It has to do with how well your metabolism is working. And I shot my

metabolism (and other aspects of my health too) all to h***. When I

decided to start eating again, I was just a little under what I

consider my ideal weight. Now I'm over. But like I said, I figure

this is the price I have to pay for what I did. Nothing to do but

wait it out and keep eating intuitively!

> >

> > Actually, I disagree. You may gain weight. Your experience will

> > depend on your history.

[Guest guest]

Well, intuitively, that makes sense.... and I suppose it would be

nice if it worked that way, but it doesn't.

Think of it this way -- undereating slows your metabolism. As much

as 40%! So say I can maintain my weight on 2500 calories a day.

But I want to lose a few pounds so I go on a diet of 1000 calories

a day. My metabolism slows. Now I decide that 1000 calories/day is

kind of depressing and I want to go back to my old way of eating.

But with a 40% slower metabolism, I only need to consume 1500

calories/days to put me back at my pre-diet weight -- when I *was*

eating 2500 calories! (It's more complex than that, of course, but

you get the point.)

See why low calorie diets are so destructive?

So it doesn't have anything to do with being over- or under-weight.

It has to do with how well your metabolism is working. And I shot my

metabolism (and other aspects of my health too) all to h***. When I

decided to start eating again, I was just a little under what I

consider my ideal weight. Now I'm over. But like I said, I figure

this is the price I have to pay for what I did. Nothing to do but

wait it out and keep eating intuitively!

> >

> > Actually, I disagree. You may gain weight. Your experience will

> > depend on your history.

[Guest guest]

Ah! Lucky you, le! Congratulations. That must feel so good.

Can I guess that you probably have a healthy metabolism to get such

good results so quickly?

> > >

> > > Actually, I disagree. You may gain weight. Your experience will

> > > depend on your history.

[Guest guest]

Oh, so sorry, Michele! Actually, I *do* believe in IE, so don't go

away!

As I've been reading through the Tribole & Resch book again, they

are really primarily focused on healing your attitude toward food.

Let me say that that is absolutely necessary! For some people,

it will also be sufficient to correct weight issues, too. Maybe for

you!

There are others of us, however, who have acquired some health

problems because of lousy eating. In my case, healing my attitude

(through IE) is necessary but not sufficient. I don't think Tribole

and Resch spend much time talking to people who need a little more

intensive therapy. For me, that means gaining weight. But not for

everyone. It also means that I need to be more careful with

nutrition. Again, that may not be true for everyone else.

I think that your initial experience with IE is going to depend on

where you start. If you are overeating, you are going to have a

different response than if you are undereating. If you have yo-yo-

dieted, that'll probably affect things too. If you are in your 20s,

it's going to be different than if you're in your 40s and screaming

towards menopause (like me).

So take heart! I think we all share the same dream which IE

describes very well --- peace and harmony with our food and with our

bodies.

> Actually, I disagree. You may gain weight. Your

experience will

> depend on your history.

>

>

>

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[Guest guest]

Hi, Joy --

I loved the article and the link. I plan on spending some time there.

I think where Cheryl and Michele have had similar experiences --

yours and mine are probably closer. Like you, I'm just grateful I

haven't gained more.

I lost weight when my marriage broke up. After years of trying, all

of a sudden, the pounds just slipped off, and taa-daa -- I was

skinny!

And boy oh boy --- the end of my troubles. Hah. Which end, eh?

Now I HAD to maintain it. I considered my new weight my consolation

prize. And I embarked on a most ridiculous maintenence program.

ly, I'm a little frightened now of what I was actually doing to

myself -- and what the consequences where. *shudders*

And what a learning experience -- like Jenn said ---

One of these days, I'll post an article on a " semi-starvation study "

conducted in the 1940s. A study like that would be considered

unethical today...... but at the time, they were truly surprised at

the results. They didn't know how much damage they were doing to the

participants. Men were placed on a 1500 calories/day diet for

several months -- and they went to pieces.

>

> Good post, Elizableth! I started Intuitive Eating last August

(after

> coming off a low-calorie diet where I lost 35 pounds). I've gained

20

> back because of diet rebound and my metabolism being lowered. Now

my

> weight is stabilized, and I'm just grateful that I didn't gain it

all

> back.

>

> I read a good article relating to this at

nourishingconnections.com

> (here' the link for the full article:

> http://www.nourishingconnections.com/005_second_phase_dieting.htm

>

[Guest guest]

Get this..... I actually enrolled in cooking school!

Pretty funny in retrospect.

And pretty sad how we have been taught not to trust our bodies.

But trusting is the only viable alternative I can see. I couldn't

bear it emotionally to go back to those low-cal days......

>

> I had many of the same things happen to me that happened to those

men. I was

> obsessed with cookbooks and recipes. I cut out soooo many recipes,

> especially for desserts, and spent much of my time dreaming about

food. I'd

> cruise down the cookie aisle at the store just to gaze at the

stuff I

> " couldn't " eat. I was always, always freezing. These days -- well,

I'd like

> to lose weight yes -- but not if I'm going to end up where I was

then!

>

> I can't say that I've gained any weight because of IE. I have

gained 35

> pounds over the past few years, but it's because of bingeing, not

IE. I

> decided a year ago that I could never diet again, re-read IE, and

tried to

> live it. I weigh 20 pounds more than I did then, but not because

of IE. I

> continue to have episodes of binge eating and overeating because I

still

> don't quite trust myself and haven't completely let go of a diet

mentality.

> I feel as though I'm getting better at it, but as someone who's

had issues

> with eating since I was a young teen, I know it's going to take me

longer

> than someone who hasn't.