New Member: Janet

Posted November 30, 2006 · November 30, 2006

Hi everybody. I joined the group a few days ago. I learned about

intuitive eating a while back but just learned about this group.

I've been struggling with eating issues for many years (probably

like most of you), trying one diet after another. Diets just caused

me to gain weight. After I was diagnosed with intestinal candida a

few years ago I modified my diet to exclude a number of foods and

over about a year I went from 250 pounds to about 160. I felt better

about myself (I still judge myself on how much I weigh and what size

clothes I fit into, even though that makes me very unhappy) but

still tried to lose more weight, unsuccessfully. I have many medical

problems (migraines, hypothyroidism, lots of food allergies) that

have made it hard to stick to the various diet and exercise plans I

have tried.

Finally I read Geneen Roth's book and learned about intuitive

eating. This has made so much more sense to me than dieting and

obsessing over my weight. While I know this philosophy is the right

one for me, I still struggle on a daily basis with applying the

principles I am trying to learn. I especially struggle over the

following ideas. Maybe you can give me some help with these:

1) I find it hard to understand the difference between binging on a

food and allowing myself to eat anything I want. I have so many

forbidden foods after years of dieting that allowing some back into

my life was like opening the floodgates. I've gained about 15 pounds

since I stopped dieting. This depresses me and sometimes makes me

want to get back on the diet bandwagon. I think part of the problem

is issue number 2:

2) I still have a hard time identifying hunger. I can't really get

in touch with when I am hungry and when I am craving something

emotionally. So I still binge a bit on foods like ice cream for

emotional reasons, since I can't really tell the difference. For

example, I always crave sweets after dinner. I don't really

understand if that is emotional, or physical. Should I resist it, or

give into it? Can anyone relate to this and give me advice?

3) My third problem is that I am a distraction eater. I eat in front

of the TV, computer, etc. so I don't really experience the food, I

just consume it. I find it almost physically painful to just sit

down and eat. I've tried minfdul eating, I just can't keep it going.

Any advice?

Thanks for listening, I know this is long. I appreciate any advice,

help etc. that anyone can offer.

Janet

Posted December 1, 2006 · December 1, 2006

> 1) I find it hard to understand the difference between binging on

a

> food and allowing myself to eat anything I want.

I also still binge from time to time. I think the biggest

difference here is whether or not you are truly hungry.

> 2) I still have a hard time identifying hunger. I can't really get

> in touch with when I am hungry and when I am craving something

> emotionally. So I still binge a bit on foods like ice cream for

> emotional reasons, since I can't really tell the difference. For

> example, I always crave sweets after dinner. I don't really

> understand if that is emotional, or physical. Should I resist it,

or

> give into it? Can anyone relate to this and give me advice?

I also struggle with this. Especially at night after dinner. I

have been trying to control it more with healthier snacks (lately

it's been dried fruit). I played a game with myself earlier in the

year & it has really helped me in determining when I am truly

hungry. I kept thinking back to high school (before I had a weight

issue) & how much I ate back then. Then I asked myself " So how much

do I really need to eat to be satisfied & not be hungry between

meals (I know this is a little off the IE process, but it helped me

get in tune with my hunger levels). I would eat, but I was trying

to eat like I did before my weight issues (mostly amounts). I can

now sense hunger (my stomach did not growl very often before this).

>

> 3) My third problem is that I am a distraction eater. I eat in

front

> of the TV, computer, etc. so I don't really experience the food, I

> just consume it. I find it almost physically painful to just sit

> down and eat. I've tried minfdul eating, I just can't keep it

going.

> Any advice?

I started eating at the dining room table when my granddaughter (who

lives with me) got big enough to sit at the table. She has been my

biggest help with not sitting in front of the tv for dinner. I

still sit in front of the tv for lunch.

>

> Thanks for listening, I know this is long. I appreciate any

advice,

> help etc. that anyone can offer.

>

> Janet

>

Posted December 1, 2006 · December 1, 2006

Hi Janet - I am most definitely an unconscious, distracted eater as

well. I am trying to eat one meal a day without distraction. I

generally feel like I'm wasting time if I'm just sitting at the table

eating - I could be getting so much more done (hmmm, like watching

Seinfeld reruns?) And I also feel like I'm giving food too much

importance if I just concentrate on it. But, I'm trying the one meal

a day thing anyway. Hoping that I can get used to the

uncomfortability of it, and hoping that I will feel my fullness better.

Baby steps. Maybe try one meal, and turn on the TV if you really feel

you have to, then try it again, and again. The thing I love about IE

is that it is a process. There is no hurry.

> 3) My third problem is that I am a distraction eater. I eat in front

> of the TV, computer, etc. so I don't really experience the food, I

> just consume it. I find it almost physically painful to just sit

> down and eat. I've tried minfdul eating, I just can't keep it going.

> Any advice?

Posted December 1, 2006 · December 1, 2006

Hi Janet - I am most definitely an unconscious, distracted eater as

well. I am trying to eat one meal a day without distraction. I

generally feel like I'm wasting time if I'm just sitting at the table

eating - I could be getting so much more done (hmmm, like watching

Seinfeld reruns?) And I also feel like I'm giving food too much

importance if I just concentrate on it. But, I'm trying the one meal

a day thing anyway. Hoping that I can get used to the

uncomfortability of it, and hoping that I will feel my fullness better.

Baby steps. Maybe try one meal, and turn on the TV if you really feel

you have to, then try it again, and again. The thing I love about IE

is that it is a process. There is no hurry.

> 3) My third problem is that I am a distraction eater. I eat in front

> of the TV, computer, etc. so I don't really experience the food, I

> just consume it. I find it almost physically painful to just sit

> down and eat. I've tried minfdul eating, I just can't keep it going.

> Any advice?

Posted December 1, 2006 · December 1, 2006

> > 2) I still have a hard time identifying hunger. I can't really

get

> > in touch with when I am hungry and when I am craving something

> > emotionally. So I still binge a bit on foods like ice cream for

> > emotional reasons, since I can't really tell the difference. For

> > example, I always crave sweets after dinner. I don't really

> > understand if that is emotional, or physical. Should I resist

it,

> or

> > give into it? Can anyone relate to this and give me advice?

>

> I also struggle with this. Especially at night after dinner. I

> have been trying to control it more with healthier snacks (lately

> it's been dried fruit). I played a game with myself earlier in

the

> year & it has really helped me in determining when I am truly

> hungry. I kept thinking back to high school (before I had a

weight

> issue) & how much I ate back then. Then I asked myself " So how

much

> do I really need to eat to be satisfied & not be hungry between

> meals (I know this is a little off the IE process, but it helped

me

> get in tune with my hunger levels). I would eat, but I was trying

> to eat like I did before my weight issues (mostly amounts). I can

> now sense hunger (my stomach did not growl very often before this).

>

This is really good advice. I'm trying to remember how I ate before

I had food issues. My parents largely controlled my eating when I

was in high school, but even then I remember binging on the food I

wanted and ignoring the so-called " healthy " food. I remember taking

my lunch money and saving most of it to buy comic books, eating just

a peanut butter bar for lunch because they were so good. Trying to

go back further, eating at home may not be the best example of

healthy eating either, come to think of it. My mom was one of

those " eat everything on your plate " mothers but I hated her

cooking. I used to spit out some of the food into a napkin to keep

from eating it. Guess I've had food issues forever, now that I think

about it ;-)

But it does seem like I did less emotional eating back then (except

for the peanut butter bars...) I'm going to try what you suggest and

see if I can get in touch with a time when I ate healthier and see

what I can uncover.

Janet

Posted December 1, 2006 · December 1, 2006

>

>1) I find it hard to understand the difference between binging on a

>food and allowing myself to eat anything I want.

For me, bingeing is a behavior, pretty much unattached to the food. Of

course, most people don't binge on carrot and apples, so food is involved.

But the behavior is key. Are you sneaking the food? Eating it standing up?

Eating it very quickly? Feeling that you " shouldn't " be eating it? Eating it

because you're way too hungry or because of a feeling? If the answer to any

of the above is yes, you're exhibiting signs of binge behavior. If you allow

yourself a bagel for breakfast, that isn't bingeing. If you are rooting in

the cupboard, shoving things into your mouth or if you eat an entire pint of

ice cream, that is bingeing.

I've gained about 15 pounds

>since I stopped dieting. This depresses me and sometimes makes me

>want to get back on the diet bandwagon.

Yes, me too. I think when we first decide to allow ourselves to eat

anything, we take that as license to eat everything. Just because I can eat

a cookie doesn't mean I have to. I also still struggle with occasional binge

behavior, so that doesn't help.

>2) I still have a hard time identifying hunger. I can't really get

>in touch with when I am hungry and when I am craving something

>emotionally. So I still binge a bit on foods like ice cream for

>emotional reasons, since I can't really tell the difference. For

>example, I always crave sweets after dinner. I don't really

>understand if that is emotional, or physical. Should I resist it, or

>give into it? Can anyone relate to this and give me advice?

>3) My third problem is that I am a distraction eater. I eat in front

>of the TV, computer, etc. so I don't really experience the food, I

>just consume it. I find it almost physically painful to just sit

>down and eat. I've tried minfdul eating, I just can't keep it going.

>Any advice?

Keep at it. Start small -- start by not eating in front of the TV for a

week. The second week, don't eat in front of the TV or computer, etc. I

don't eat mindfully all the time and I don't think you HAVE to. I usually

read a magazine at lunch, am getting my dds' and my lunches ready during

breakfast, and am talking with my family during dinner. That doesn't mean I

don't enjoy my food. I try to eat slowly, savor anything that's really

tasty, and try to just eat occasionally, rather than read during the meal. I

try not to eat anywhere besides the dining room table. That way I don't

associate food with any other room in the house. By the same token, I try

not to sit at the table and do other things. Pavlov was onto something, ya

know.

Craving sweets after dinner is pure habit. I used to think I HAD to have

something after dinner, even if just a Hershey kiss. I started making myself

a cup of tea instead some of the time and now I go about half the week with

just the tea. It also helps if I immediately leave the eating area after the

meal is over. My dh does the dishes and I go off to walk the dog or do

something downstairs, away from food. Soon I get involved in something and

forget about dessert.

As far as knowing if you're physically or emotionally hungry, I think if you

have to ask yourself, you aren't really physically hungry. Use your common

sense -- how long has it been since you've eaten? How much did you eat? If

you're unsure, wait and see if your stomach growls, if you get a headache,

if you start to feel grouchy.

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Posted December 1, 2006 · December 1, 2006

>

> >

> >1) I find it hard to understand the difference between binging on

a

> >food and allowing myself to eat anything I want.

>

> For me, bingeing is a behavior, pretty much unattached to the

food. Of

> course, most people don't binge on carrot and apples, so food is

involved.

> But the behavior is key. Are you sneaking the food? Eating it

standing up?

> Eating it very quickly? Feeling that you " shouldn't " be eating it?

Eating it

> because you're way too hungry or because of a feeling? If the

answer to any

> of the above is yes, you're exhibiting signs of binge behavior.

The place I seem to be now is that I want ice cream, for example,

after dinner each night. I don't sneak it, eat it standing up, feel

way too hungry, etc. I eat a pretty small serving and sometimes

don't even eat it all. I eat it because I forbade myself from eating

it for years. At the same time I still feel guilty for eating it,

and it seems to satisfy me emotionally while I am eating it (in

other words, I am getting some emotional satisfaction while I am

eating it). So while I don't feel like I am " binging " in the sense

that I am overeating or " pigging out " I still feel like I

am " binging " in the sense that I want to eat it all the time and I

enjoy it emotionally. I seem to eat it for that reason rather than

out of hunger (can anyone really be physically hungry for ice

cream?) So you see my confusion. I suspect I am binge eating, but at

the same time I am struggling with giving myself permission to eat

something I have denied myself for so long. Hard to find a middle

ground.

Janet

Posted December 1, 2006 · December 1, 2006