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RE: future dating life

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Lea,

Thanks for the encouragement. I know in my mind that all you say is true,

but putting it into action is another story. I do look to this surgery as

the chance to change my life before I let the joy of life slip away. I know

that is putting an awful lot of emphasis on weight, but to some degree I

cannot help but think that thin does equal happy. I can just see you

screaming as you are reading this e-mail. And I know that intellectually I

am screaming along with you. But emotionally I am not. At this point, I am

willing to give up all the food in the world and drink all my food through a

straw for the rest of my life if necessary!!

By the way, I just figured out how to look at all the pictures on the onelist

site. It was really great putting faces to all your names. This is such a

positive an inspiring group. Right now I need that so much.

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believe me I know exactly where you are coming from. I have learned to

liv one day at a time. I do have my down days but I know that the next

day I can make it better. I guess some of my ourlook comes from my

suicide attempt back in 89. I was in abusive relationship and one of

the reasons I stayed was becuase I thought nobody else would want me

because of my weight. My mother had pushed me away because of the

relationship and I fel lost without her to turn to.

The best advice I can give anybody is to live life as you want. Do

things in spite of rejection because you may be surprised. Put yourself

out there. If you do end up getting hurt and rejected go home and lick

your wounds and go out there again.

Lea

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Lea,

I can totally relate to what you've experienced as far as the suicide

attempt. I too had attempted it twice in my life, and both times came down

to me feeling so shitty about me as well as other things, but now that I'm

losing, and feeling SO MUCH better about me, in a very loving relationship

with someone I adore, I feel like that was a setback back in the " old days " .

I try not to think about what I did, what I put my family and friends

through, but when I do, I realize that they loved me then, just as much as

now, whether morbidly obese, or slimming down as I am now. I come from a

very close family, unfortunately I didn't realize that until after my first

attempt. I'm SO GLAD now that it didn't go " as planned " , and kicking myself

when I do think back on those rotten days of my life. I now try to focus on

the positive, and try and try to remain as positive as I can, although, I

was always negative, and often times even now, I find myself in the same

predicament. This is when I kick myself, and say " That was the past, let's

focus on the future " , and it seems work to my benefit now, and that's even

being of my Paxil since surgery! :)

Dawn

Re: future dating life

believe me I know exactly where you are coming from. I have learned to

liv one day at a time. I do have my down days but I know that the next

day I can make it better. I guess some of my ourlook comes from my

suicide attempt back in 89. I was in abusive relationship and one of

the reasons I stayed was becuase I thought nobody else would want me

because of my weight. My mother had pushed me away because of the

relationship and I fel lost without her to turn to.

The best advice I can give anybody is to live life as you want. Do

things in spite of rejection because you may be surprised. Put yourself

out there. If you do end up getting hurt and rejected go home and lick

your wounds and go out there again.

Lea

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