Guest guest Posted April 25, 2000 Report Share Posted April 25, 2000 Oh , I am very proud of you for telling your mother. I have slowly been breaking the news to family members also. It is so difficult. I am just going for the consultation tomorrow but I considered never telling anyone in my family about the surgery. There is a part of me that thinks maybe no one notices how fat I really am. I know that is crazy. My mother is also a nurse and is slowly digesting the idea. Isn't it strange how one could even consider going through such a major surgery and be too ashamed to let loved ones know about it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 25, 2000 Report Share Posted April 25, 2000 , It really does feel good to just let it out! That is great that everyone that you have told has been supportive. I think some of us expect people to freak out when they hear about surgery but often times we get to be pleasantly surprised. I have really kept quiet about it and have only told my dh and a good friend and she was incredibly supportive about it. It really feels good. I don't have any kids but it sounds like you are doing the right thing with your daughter. Sounds like Casey is a smart 8 yr old. But really you are being honest when you are telling her that they will be fixing something in your stomach! I am sure you will be so much more at ease once you get home and can talk to her about it on the other side where she will be able to see that you are as good as new!!! I can just imagine how difficult it must be but in time she will see the changes and your lives will just get that much better! I am sure it will all work out for the best! Hang in there! & Jody Fortune wrote: Doesn't it feel good to let the cat out of the bag ? I told myaunt first...she was WAY supportive... more than I could have imagined.Then I told my mom. She has been very nervous about it, as she hasheard all oth horror stories about outdated stomach stapling operations,and she keeps telling me she doesn't want me to die. My grandmother isthe same... she went on and on about her friend who told her about awoman on 20/20 who had so many problems when she had a wls and they putin a new stomach (?!?!?) They've all got reservations, but aregenerally supportive, and very willing to help me out post-op. The oneI really worry about is my oldest daughter. Yes, the little one is waytoo young to understand what's going on, but Casey overhead me sayingsomething about the operation. For her an operation is somethingsomeone has when they are very ill, and although I have minor aches andpains, I have always enjoyed good health. I just said not to worry, andthat the doctors had to fix something in my stomach. She is a veryinquisitive child by nature, and very smart, so I feel just awful aboutkeeping this from her. She's only 8 though, and I don't think she isready to know. (Maybe I'm underestimating her) My conundrum is this:Will it harm the way she looks at her own body to know that her motheris so unhappy as an obeses person that she is willing to have a majorsurgery to help get thin? Anyone out there understand what I mean? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 25, 2000 Report Share Posted April 25, 2000 Thanks! It is one of those issues of being overweight and being I guess embarassed about the surgery or something. Fear of failure etc... It does seem strange that we can make these big major surgery decisions and not tell family members. Good luck with the consult tomorrow!!! My thoughts will be with you! latta@... wrote: Oh ,I am very proud of you for telling your mother. I have slowly been breaking the news to family members also. It is so difficult. I am just going for the consultation tomorrow but I considered never telling anyone in my family about the surgery. There is a part of me that thinks maybe no one notices how fat I really am. I know that is crazy. My mother is also a nurse and is slowly digesting the idea. Isn't it strange how one could even consider going through such a major surgery and be too ashamed to let loved ones know about it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 25, 2000 Report Share Posted April 25, 2000 NoRm, Thanks for the info! I appreciate it! I actually did have an ultrasound about a week and a half ago and they were checking the gall bladder for any existing stones. I didn't have any so they have decided not to take it out! NoRm wrote: Have they checked your Gall Bladder, I know at NEMC everyone's gets checked and if need be out it comes at the same time. Mine did. www.homestead.com\skinny_soon 4/29/99 421 --- 4/11/00 308 NoRm! Finally told my mom Well I have surgery in about two weeks and I think the thing that was bothering me the most was having to tell my mom about what I was going to be doing. She is a nurse and I thought that she would be more critical than most about the surgery. I didn't want to not tell her because I felt that when she found out she would be upset that I didn't have the confidence to let her know about a major surgery. I know that this is a personal issue and I thought long and hard about it even to the point where I was going to just not tell her or lie and say that I was just having my gall bladder out. (Which I am not!) Well as usual that was all in my head and she was very receptive to the idea (not thrilled mind you) but willing to listen and is going to be coming out for a couple of days to help me out during and after the surgery. I told her that would be great as it is wonderful that dh is supportive and behind me on this but there is nothing like having! your mom around when you are sick. So another hurdle for me that I made it over! Thanks for listening! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 25, 2000 Report Share Posted April 25, 2000 Have they checked your Gall Bladder, I know at NEMC everyone's gets checked and if need be out it comes at the same time. Mine did. www.homestead.com\skinny_soon 4/29/99 421 --- 4/11/00 308 NoRm! Finally told my mom Well I have surgery in about two weeks and I think the thing that was bothering me the most was having to tell my mom about what I was going to be doing. She is a nurse and I thought that she would be more critical than most about the surgery. I didn't want to not tell her because I felt that when she found out she would be upset that I didn't have the confidence to let her know about a major surgery. I know that this is a personal issue and I thought long and hard about it even to the point where I was going to just not tell her or lie and say that I was just having my gall bladder out. (Which I am not!) Well as usual that was all in my head and she was very receptive to the idea (not thrilled mind you) but willing to listen and is going to be coming out for a couple of days to help me out during and after the surgery. I told her that would be great as it is wonderful that dh is supportive and behind me on this but there is nothing like having! your mom around when you are sick. So another hurdle for me that I made it over! Thanks for listening! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 25, 2000 Report Share Posted April 25, 2000 Originally I thought I'd tell NO ONE other than my husband. BUT ... I knew I'd need my folks to help watch my girls for a week or so .. and I wasn't comfortable telling them flat out I was just having a gb removal .. just in case something went wrong I'd be wracked with guilt over lying .. lol like I'd be wracked from guilt in Heaven I guess I wouldn't be around to worry about it huh? But back then thats what I was feeling so I ended up telling them. I was SURE they'd be against it but they weren't they were fully supportive if not a bit concerned. BUT what I did was mail off to them lots of print outs about the surgery from the net so they were just as prepared as I was .. I didn't tell anyone else other than my online connections for some time .. I think I was 6 or 7 months out when I told my brother .. he didn't say much .. and I wrote my sister to tell her & she has never once mentioned it .. as for the rest of my family ie aunts, uncles, etc a few in England know but in Canada I don't think any knows. Its not that its a secret if asked directly I'll tell them but I have such few contact I am not going out of my way either to fill everyone in .. to be honest they are a bunch of gossips as is so when it finally does break everywhere lol it'll be global in a day or two I'm sure Now around here where I live .. again its no secret I tell those who ask me how I've done it. I was even featured in the local paper and that covered it so I'm sure my neighbors or some of them know .. but I don't wear a sign either .. I guess what I'm saying is I'm comfortable with it and I dare anyone who is against surgery to tell ME it isn't going to work for me .. cuz now I have the attitude where I'm ready for a good fight to talk about it LOL! Lyssa Together we can do this! Re: Finally told my mom Oh , I am very proud of you for telling your mother. I have slowly been breaking the news to family members also. It is so difficult. I am just going for the consultation tomorrow but I considered never telling anyone in my family about the surgery. There is a part of me that thinks maybe no one notices how fat I really am. I know that is crazy. My mother is also a nurse and is slowly digesting the idea. Isn't it strange how one could even consider going through such a major surgery and be too ashamed to let loved ones know about it? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ You have a voice mail message waiting for you at iHello.com: http://click./1/3555/7/_/675032/_/956682277/ ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 25, 2000 Report Share Posted April 25, 2000 Good for you Lyssa! You are just awesome!!! LyssaF wrote: Originally I thought I'd tell NO ONE other than my husband. BUT ... I knewI'd need my folks to help watch my girls for a week or so .. and I wasn'tcomfortable telling them flat out I was just having a gb removal .. just incase something went wrong I'd be wracked with guilt over lying .. lol likeI'd be wracked from guilt in Heaven I guess I wouldn't be around to worryabout it huh? But back then thats what I was feeling so I ended up tellingthem. I was SURE they'd be against it but they weren't they were fullysupportive if not a bit concerned. BUT what I did was mail off to them lotsof print outs about the surgery from the net so they were just as preparedas I was .. I didn't tell anyone else other than my online connections forsome time .. I think I was 6 or 7 months out when I told my brother .. hedidn't say much .. and I wrote my sister to tell her & she has never oncementioned it .. as for the rest of my family ie aunts, uncles, etc a few inEngland know but in Canada I don't think any knows. Its not that its asecret if asked directly I'll tell them but I have such few contact I amnot going out of my way either to fill everyone in .. to be honest they area bunch of gossips as is so when it finally does break everywhere lol it'llbe global in a day or two I'm sure :)Now around here where I live .. again its no secret I tell those who ask mehow I've done it. I was even featured in the local paper and that covered itso I'm sure my neighbors or some of them know .. but I don't wear a signeither ..I guess what I'm saying is I'm comfortable with it and I dare anyone who isagainst surgery to tell ME it isn't going to work for me .. cuz now I havethe attitude where I'm ready for a good fight to talk about it LOL!Lyssa :)Together we can do this!-----Original Message-----From: latta@... Sent: Tuesday, April 25, 2000 12:58 PMTo: OSSG-NewEnglandegroupsSubject: Re: Finally told my momOh ,I am very proud of you for telling your mother. I have slowly been breakingthe news to family members also. It is so difficult. I am just going forthe consultation tomorrow but I considered never telling anyone in my familyabout the surgery. There is a part of me that thinks maybe no one noticeshow fat I really am. I know that is crazy. My mother is also a nurse andisslowly digesting the idea. Isn't it strange how one could even considergoing through such a major surgery and be too ashamed to let loved ones knowabout it?------------------------------------------------------------------------You have a voice mail message waiting for you at iHello.com:http://click./1/3555/7/_/675032/_/956682277/------------------------------------------------------------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 25, 2000 Report Share Posted April 25, 2000 It helps limit your food choices after, too much fatty food to much sit down toilet time :-) www.homestead.com\skinny_soon 4/29/99 421 --- 4/11/00 308 NoRm! Finally told my mom Well I have surgery in about two weeks and I think the thing that was bothering me the most was having to tell my mom about what I was going to be doing. She is a nurse and I thought that she would be more critical than most about the surgery. I didn't want to not tell her because I felt that when she found out she would be upset that I didn't have the confidence to let her know about a major surgery. I know that this is a personal issue and I thought long and hard about it even to the point where I was going to just not tell her or lie and say that I was just having my gall bladder out. (Which I am not!) Well as usual that was all in my head and she was very receptive to the idea (not thrilled mind you) but willing to listen and is going to be coming out for a couple of days to help me out during and after the surgery. I told her that would be great as it is wonderful that dh is supportive and behind me on this but there is nothing like having! ! ! your mom around when you are sick. So another hurdle for me that I made it over! Thanks for listening! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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