RE: Need Help and Advice - kinda long

[Guest guest]

>   I don't really know how to

> handle this situation and others (the family eating my

> baked chips and point-friendly foods and leaving

> points-unfriendly foods that I can't eat, etc.)  Any

> advice?

>

When are they leaving???? Yikes! This is a tough situation. Is it

unreasonable for you to prepare your own meals and let her prepare food for

her family. And maybe set some boundaries - like " Tough my Baked Lays and

die " -- ok, maybe a little more diplomatic than that, but you get my point.

Good luck -- I hope you get through this adjustment period without too much

pain.

Vicki

Rochester NY

[Guest guest]

D'Ann,

Presumably you were cooking your own dinners before your friend moved in with

you -- why not just cook your own OP dinner now? Then you eat what you need,

they eat what they want, everything's cool. (Ditto on the cleanup, by the way.)

About them eating your OP snacks and other Point-friendly foods: again, they

were buying their own foods before they moved in, you were buying yours.

Continue with that, and keep the foods separate. Nobody eats the other family's

food, unless specifically invited.

This is what we did when we had a homeless friend move in with us and it worked

well for the year and half she lived with us.

-:|:-

----- Original Message -----

From: " D'Ann Hotten "

I have a dilemma, and I need help with it. Recently

my best friend and her family (husband, three kids)

have moved in with me, and it is affecting my program

greatly. Because she has three small children she

cooks before I get home so that they can eat at a

decent time. Needless to say, she doesn't cook OP.

For example, she fixed pork chops, macaroni and cheese

(from a box) and canned green beans. Not too much of

a problem, right? Well, figuring out the pork chop

and the beans wasn't, but as I'm fixing my plate she

said " Oh, I had to 'cheese up' the macaroni. " She

basically added shredded cheese to it to make it

cheesier. Well, I can no longer figure out the points

for it and therefore couldn't eat any. This happens a

lot. She's gotten better with some things (not

cooking with outrageous amounts of butter), but I

don't know what else to do besides talk to her. Her

husband is very overweight, and he has lost 12 pounds

because i introduced him to the WW way of eating.

well, needless to say he's starting to gain it back

now that she cooks all the time. You would think she

would modify it to benefit him, too.

I thought that one solution would be to offer to cook

a few nights a week so that I could cook WW friendly

meals and show her that low fat foods don't have to be

" nasty " , but i don't get home until 6:30, which means

that dinner wouldn't be ready until 8:00 or so, and

that's the kid's bedtimes. I don't really know how to

handle this situation and others (the family eating my

baked chips and point-friendly foods and leaving

points-unfriendly foods that I can't eat, etc.) Any

advice?

=========

[Guest guest]

What a dilemma! Is it possible to make up casseroles etc. ahead of time

for her to heat up, or even just for you when you get home and let them

eat on their own?

D'Ann Hotten wrote:

> I have a dilemma, and I need help with it. Recently

> my best friend and her family (husband, three kids)

> have moved in with me, and it is affecting my program

> greatly.

[Guest guest]

I agree with the person who suggested she cooks dinner for her family and

you prepare your own meals, as was the situation before she came to stay

with you.

I know it's hard - I have a roommate who eats very differently than I do and

it has taken time for us to get on the same page. She cooks very rich food

and eats very small portions. I have trouble with portion control, so this

doesn't generally work for me. At first she seemed offended but after a

month or so she was pleasantly surprised at how good some of my

point-friendly meals were and she was ditching the oil/butter/cheese, etc.

in favor of Pam and lower point choices so we could eat the same thing

together. She is the most incredible baker I have ever known and is

constantly making a cookie, cake, bar, tart, you name it. I usually try a

crumb of whatever she has made then she takes it to work with her or gives

it away to friends and family. She rarely eats much of what she makes and

she has really shown me great support by getting most of it out of the house

within a day or two. It would not be fair for me to ask her not to cook

these things (because it is her great pleasure in life) nor would I dream of

asking this of her. Through some nicely phrased hinting she understood that

I didn't really want the goodies around. It really doesn't have to be a

struggle - you just need to communicate your needs with each other.

Lynn McNutt

--

197/167.4/135

135 by 9/7/03

> Is it possible to make up casseroles etc. ahead of time

> for her to heat up, or even just for you when you get home and let them

> eat on their own?

[Guest guest]

>   I

> have one and it gets put to good use, but the cookbook

> i have isn't low fat, and i haven't been able to find

> one that is.  Do any of you have or know where i can

> get points friendly crock pot recipes?

>

I just saw a Crockpot cookbook at our WW center last week ... it was in

magazine form.

Vicki

Rochester NY

[Guest guest]

D'Ann, why don't you send me some of your recipes... I'll work them out

for you to be more points friendly, if you like.

[Guest guest]

Gosh D'Ann, that's a tough one.

Perhaps what you can do is over the weekend sit down and plan out your

meals either alone or with your friend and then say to her, " This is

what I've got on the menu for this week " as if you do this every week.

" If you want to start it before I get home, that's great but don't feel

like you have to. If that doesn't work for your kids, feel free to fix

something separate for them on one of the nights, but we are eating

within a certain calorie range and this is what we're having this week.

After all, it's your home. Just make it not up for discussion. Be very

upbeat and matter of fact about it. If she challenges you and says

" Since when do you pre-plan your meals? " say " Since I decided to change

my lifestyle.

If you don't do this you're just going to get resentful. I know. I've

had friends living with me and keeping my mouth shut never worked

because I would build up resentment until I blew a gasket and that was

that...end of friendship. If I didn't do that I would suffer in silence

and get ticked at the other person and even if we never had a showdown,

it would impact our relationship.

Good luck with this! I hope you find a resolution that works for

everyone.

Tory

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 2/25/2003 5:15:50 PM Eastern Standard Time,

dee_hotten@... writes:

> Do any of you have or know where i can

> get points friendly crock pot recipes?

>

You can always just modify the ones that are already there. Spray the inside

surface with Pam, leave out any oils, cut the sugar in half or use Splenda -

that kind of thing. Oddly, I have almost completely stopped adding oil and

sugar, and my cooking tastes better <g>. Now, isn't that a shock!

Basically, follow the general recipe and change any particularly high-cal

ingredients. Crock pots tend to be very forgiving.

-Crys-

(Lifetimer since August 1995)

178.6 / 139.4 / 140.0 / 125.0 (-39.2)

Starting Wt/Current Wt/WW Goal/Personal Goal

Please say a prayer for Margie and Lura in their weight loss. Thank you!

I'm not crazy; I'm just a little unwell.

I know, right now you can't tell.

But stay a while and maybe then you'll see

a different side of me.

I'm not crazy; I'm just a little impaired.

I know, right now you don't care.

But in a while you're gonna think of me,

and how I used to be.

Matchbox 20

[Guest guest]

Hi D'Ann

I think the idea Kris had about using the crock pot on " your " nights

to cook is a great idea. On your friend's night to cook, what about using a

WW frozen dinner for yourself? I would also " label " all your points friendly

food with your name on it, and explain to your friend that those items are

" off limits " . My husband and I were in the same situation for 3 months. Our

friends and their 4 children lived with us while they closed on their new

home. It was difficult, but it can be done. Good luck!

´¨¨)) -:¦:-

¸.·´ .·´¨¨))

((¸¸.·´ ..·´ -:¦:-

-:¦:- ((¸¸.·´*

[Guest guest]

Try this message board at Dottie's.

http://pub121.ezboard.com/fdottisweightlosszonesoupsstewscrockpot

Beth

D'Ann Hotten <dee_hotten@y...> wrote:

> I would like to thank everyone for their advice. One

> thing that is a really good idea is the crock pot. I

> have one and it gets put to good use, but the cookbook

> i have isn't low fat, and i haven't been able to find

> one that is. Do any of you have or know where i can

> get points friendly crock pot recipes?

>

> Thanx again,

> D'Ann

[Guest guest]

At 02:05 PM 2/25/2003 -0800, you wrote:

>I would like to thank everyone for their advice. One

>thing that is a really good idea is the crock pot. I

>have one and it gets put to good use, but the cookbook

>i have isn't low fat, and i haven't been able to find

>one that is. Do any of you have or know where i can

>get points friendly crock pot recipes?

You''ve probably already heard...but I know of 2 healthy crockpot cookbooks:

Jo Lund, A Potful of Recipes

(she lists all the relevant nutritional information so you can figure points)

Mable Hoffman, Healthy Crockpot Recipes

I think there is at least on other...but I'd have to look on my shelves at

home (I'm at work now).

If you tell me the kind of CP recipes you like, I'll send you a few from

Jo's book. I've been typing them in for myself.

Regards,

Crockpot_Recipes listmom

.....so I like to think I know crockpot cooking!